Slow Heat in Heaven
by Chris Anthony
Summary: Part 2 of Outlaws and their Girl. Jack, Kate and Sawyer grow closer as they depend on each other to stay alive. Kate and Jack struggle to work through issues along the way, while Sawyer tries to get over Kate. J,K some S,K
1. Losing You

I do not own "Lost" or the characters except for my OC's, Lost belongs to ABC, and J.J. Abrams. I also do not own "Must have been Love" by Roxette.

This story is being continued from Part 1 of **Outlaws and Their Girl, **this is part two

**Chapter 1- Losing You**

_Sawyer couldn't move. He was frozen in fear, and regret. If only he had kept his eyes on the road._

_Kate ran over to the man on the ground. Her hands shook violently as she lowered herself down. She struggled to fight the sobs that tried to escape her mouth every time she tried to touch the man. She couldn't because she was too scared. Tears slid down the side of her face, as she looked back at his bloody face. Tire marks were indented on his police uniform, and he was struggling on the ground. As blood spilled from his wounds, he slowly opened his eyes._

_Kate stared back at him frantically. "It's going to be okay,"_

_Sawyer reached in his pocket. He needed a cigarette. He cussed loudly when he didn't find any. "Not now, not now!" He stalked over to the driver's door, and then frantically looked around for a pack of cigarettes._

"_He's hurt Sawyer!" Kate screamed._

_Sawyer tuned her out. This wasn't happening, it was just some bad dream. He would wake up, and that man wouldn't be on the floor twisted and contorted in an unnatural position with his blood spilling like water._

_The man's eyes slowly closed._

_Kate grabbed onto his sleeves, "Just hold on, we'll get you help," She stared back at the young African-American male with tears of regret, and pain. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry,"_

_He started to cough up blood._

_Kate placed her shaking hand to her mouth, and then started to fall apart. She couldn't take it, he was dying in front of her, they had to save him. He was innocent, he had nothing to do with their situation. He was innocent, and he was dying because they had hit him. She couldn't let him die, she just couldn't._

_Kate got up._

"_Please…don't…" He coughed up some more blood._

"_Oh God, Sawyer, help me!" Kate screamed._

_Sawyer flicked the lighter, but the flame wouldn't come. He tried again, but his hands were shaking too much. All he could see was that man…coughing up all that blood. After the lighter failed him for the third time, he hurled it out into the cold night air. Sawyer then placed his hands against the dashboard of the trunk, and then placed down his head. His eyes blinked rapidly as he felt the tears starting to stream down. Kate was screaming for his help, but he couldn't go to her. He couldn't move, or watch as that innocent man died in Kate's arms._

"_Sawyer, help me!" Kate screamed. The man's blood now stained Taylor's beautiful dress. She got up, and the tried to reach for the man's arms, but her hands were shaking so badly, and he weighed more than her. Kate fell to the ground scraping her knees. The least they could do was drop him in front of a hospital. Her stomach, and her mind was heavy with remorse, and gut wrenching pain. What if this man died? What if he had a family? Kids, a wife!_

_Kate forced herself up. She wasn't going to let this man die. They had hit him, she couldn't just leave him on the road like some deer. Even though every muscle in her body burned from the exhausting physical labor of caring this man she kept on going._

"_I…I…just…it hurts," He moaned painfully._

"_I'm going to get you help, it's going to be okay," Kate said as reassuringly as she could muster even though she was in a state of hysterics._

_The man started to struggle._

"_I'm trying to help you, please don't fight me!" Kate screamed._

_He wasn't struggling, but instead he was going into shock. His body started to convulse violently as Kate tried to lead him towards the truck. His eyes rolled back in his head, and then his mouth dropped open._

_Sawyer looked up. He saw the man convulsing, and dying in Kate's arms. And then he saw her, blood staining her dress, and tears spilling down her cheeks like she had been the one that had killed him. Sawyer's eyebrows lowered over his eyes, and then he walked over to Kate. "Let him go,"_

"_What!" Kate screamed._

"_I killed him, not…"_

"_He's not dead, we can still take him to the hospital and…."_

_The man's arms started to swing around wildly. Sawyer ran over and tried to steady the man in his arms, as Kate helped out as well._

"_What's happening, what…"_

"_Hold on," Sawyer yelled to the man. "Hold on!"_

_Kate didn't even have time to notice the sudden change in Sawyer._

"_Keep him still," Sawyer ordered._

"_I'm trying, I'm trying!" Kate screamed helplessly._

_The man opened his mouth as he struggled, "I…I…was all she had left…she doesn't have…" More blood came up._

_Kate mouth's dropped open and then she started to cry harder. Her stomach heaved with every sob that escaped her throat._

"_She doesn't have…." His eyes closed, and then his body grew rigid. "She doesn't have no one no more,"_

_Sawyer looked back at Kate with an empty expression stretched across his face. "He's dead,"_

_Kate closed her eyes and breathed in the cold air as she wrapped her arms around her body. "He had a family out there."_

"_He's dead now." Sawyer stood up. He walked away, with his back to Kate. "We have to go."_

_Kate still sat on the ground, glancing back at the body as if he would wake up. Jack wouldn't just give up, he wouldn't leave this man on the side of the road without trying. If Jack was here, he wouldn't give up, he just wouldn't. Kate placed her hands on the man's shoulders, and then started to shake him gently at first, and then as she grew more frantic with more force._

"_Get up, Get up!" She cried._

"_Kate, he's dead!"_

"_Shut-up Sawyer!" Kate screamed pointing her hand at him. "I asked for your help, but you didn't help me until it was too late! So just shut-up!"_

_Sawyer looked away. It was his fault. "I tried to help,"_

"_Get up, please, you have family out there, I'm sure they need you…" Kate's lips trembled as she struggled to revive the dead man, who she was reminded was a cop as her hands ran along his badge._

_Sawyer glanced down the street once again with tears welled in his eyes. A lamp light flickered out down the street, and then another one. He turned away, and then focused on Kate once again. "He's dead…He's dead,"_

* * *

Sawyer sat on the edge of the bridge. Between his shaking hands he held a cigarette. He took a puff, and then exhaled the mist out into the chilly night. He glanced down at the cigarette and then flicked it downwards into the river. Sawyer closed his eyes. If only he could forget watching Kate as she tried so hard to keep that man alive, while he had just stood there. Stood there and watched her as she tried to talk to him, and then as she tried to bring him into the truck. Blood had been all over her dress, and she had been so hysterical, but he hadn't come to help her until it was too late. Sawyer had been too caught up in holding his own emotions inside, maintaining his man of stone façade, and acting as if he didn't care when in reality he did.

Sawyer blinked as the tears welled in his eyes. He hadn't cried in years, so he almost believed that he was incapable of producing tears. Sawyer wiped at them as soon as they came. Next to the pack of cigarettes, he had a bottle of whisky. Sawyer kicked his legs back and forth as he twisted off the cap, and then nursed half of the bottle in one gulp. Yeah, his life was hell. It had always been, and before it had been so convenient to cover up his pain, with wise cracks, and jokes, but now he didn't have it in him. He sighed to himself, and then took another swig of the whiskey. Sawyer just didn't care anymore. He had spent half of his life moving from home to home after his parents deaths, and after that, he turned to life a crime. Anyway to make money in order to pay back the debts he owed, or to seek the revenge he craved.

"Look how far it gotcha," He said drunkenly to himself. He was on his third bottle, and he had two more in Taylor's truck. Usually it would take a lot more alcohol to make him drunk, but he hadn't eaten in a while, and he didn't care to stop after his vision started to grow blurry. Sawyer glanced at the beer bottle. "If I talked to ya, would ya listen to me." He shook his head and then poured the liquid downwards, after the bottle had been emptied he dropped it. "I should just leave…go away, and not come back. Yeah, that's what I should do." He slurred. Sawyer then tried to get up, but his legs wobbled helplessly. "Shit," He muttered. Sawyer grabbed onto the rusted railing that he was sitting on, and then swung one leg towards safety, but his boot knocked at the edge, he was so drunk, that he had lost his sense of coordination.

Sawyer drowsily closed his eyes, as he tried one more time to swing his leg over the railing. His body was starting to fall to the side, but he gripped onto the edge with as much strength as he could muster. Everything was growing black, he was so tired, and so out of it, that he couldn't even swing his leg over the rail. Maybe he had drank too much, but it didn't even mattered. Sawyer leaned forward and then placed his aching head in his hands. He was too tired, nothing even mattered anymore, not the people that wanted him dead, the man he had killed earlier, and especially not Kate. Drowsiness was settling in, every conflicting thought he had been buried in earlier was leaving his subconscious, he was falling, and that was the last thing he had remembered before he blacked out.

Sawyer's grip loosed on the rail, and he fell forward into the rushing river below.

* * *

Kate slowly opened her eyes. She could feel Jack's chin rested above her head. They hadn't slept together, but if anyone walked in on them they would have thought otherwise. Her eyes shifted around the dark room as she relaxed in Jack's arms. Shadows bounced off the walls, and the candles which Jake and Kate had burned earlier were now dormant but the scent of vanilla and jasmine still remained.

Jack moaned and then wrapped his arms tighter around her.

Kate reached for his hand, and with a soft tug pulled his arm off of her. She loved him, but she couldn't do this anymore. Kate had to take care of some business before she could even focus on relaxing or being with Jack. Kate sat up, and then placed her head in her hands. Jack wanted a fairy tale with her, he treated her like a princess, and did everything in his power to keep her safe, but she didn't believe in fairytales. At least not when her life was concerned.

Kate stood up, her feet landed on the cold wooden floors. She shivered as she glanced towards the window.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked slowly sitting up.

She hadn't expected him to wake up. "I um…I was just going outside to get some air."

"Did you even go to sleep for one second Kate?"

"I tried, but I failed." She shivered.

Jack got up, and then closed the window. "Come back to bed, you need to get some rest."

"I can't,"

Jack reached across to turn on the light. "I'm worried about you."

"What's new," Kate walked towards the window Jack had just closed and then stared out worried. "Sawyer hasn't come back yet."

"He'll be back in the morning," Jack patted the spot next to him. "You should come back to sleep."

"If you hadn't woken up I would've left." Kate admitted.

Jack's mouth dropped and his eyebrows furrowed low over his hazel eyes. "I thought we were through with that game."

"I planned on coming back."

After realizing that Kate wasn't going to come back to bed, Jack got back up and walked over to her. "I hope you know I would've went after you."

"I figured that much, but I just feel like there is something I have to do before we leave."

"Whenever we leave, we still don't have any money, and so far all of our plans to leave the country have backfired."

"I don't even know if my mom is still alive, last time I saw her she was in the hospital and…" Kate's voice trailed off. "Even if she is dead, I just want to know so I can move on, and put the past behind me."

Jack nodded in understanding. He felt the same way about his father.

"Even though she married him, and I hated her for that, I still loved her deep down…"

"Married who?" Jack asked.

Kate quickly looked away, "My step-father, but forget it."

"Is there something you want to tell me Kate?"

"Are you questioning me now Jack?" Kate retorted.

He closed his mouth. "I'm just trying to understand what's going on, I try to let it slide, but something is eating you up inside, and it's going to get to you until…"

"Jack we all bottle up or emotions, even you, so please don't ask me to tell you anything, because I just don't want to talk about it."

"I'm not going to force you Kate, but have you ever took the time to pay attention to Sawyer? He holds onto his frustrations, and keeps it all inside, why do you think he is so lonely and so messed up."

"Jack before you even met me I was messed up."

"Kate, please don't push me away right now."

"Jack, this is what I do when situations get too hard. I push everyone away, so you're going to have to deal with it. I love you, but then again I don't want to. You came along at a very inconvenient time, when my life couldn't have been more messed up. I don't know what you want from me."

"I just want your trust."

"I don't even trust myself," Kate scowled looking down.

"Let me ask you one question," Jack walked closer towards her. "Why is it that you can't allow yourself to be happy? When we were together earlier, everything was perfect…"

"Everything was perfect because I allowed myself to get caught up in the moment. Jack, you're wasting your time. Just stop."

"Stop what?"

" Stop arguing with me, making me try to open up to you, trying to understand my actions!"

"What happened while you and Sawyer were gone."

"Questions," Kate warned.

"Did he say something to upset you? Kate, tell me so we can get through this together."

"Stop smothering me."

Jack looked away. He had never seen her so angry at him before. Her face was red, and she stared back at him with daggers. He had no choice but to back down. "I'll back down then."

Kate wrapped an arm around her body. She was trying to make Jack see how bad she really was…or at least convince him to see that. If he kept on loving her, then she knew that she would cave-in, and allow herself to get swept back up in this romance.

Jack grabbed his clothes which were on the floor, and then walked out of the room in his boxers.

Kate looked down. She loved Jack to much, and that's why she had to push him away, before he got hurt by her destructive ways of life. Romance wasn't for her, she would rather be alone, than have to suffer losing Jack like she did Tom. Kate sat down on the edge of the bed, and then stared at the unlit candles for the second time that night. If only she could rewind and take back the words she had said to Jack. The problem wasn't him, it was her.

* * *

Jack sat down at the table. Even if he tried to act as if he didn't care, he knew he would fail. Jack grinded his teeth together, the muscle in his cheek protruded as he stopped to clench his jaw. These last couple of months he had built his world around Kate, every morning he had risen looking for her smile, even when she wasn't smiling, all he needed was to see her face, and he was reminded why he allowed himself to be dragged along. Living on the run wasn't easy, but with Kate by his side, he had managed to look past it all. Jack placed his hands to his mouth, and then clasped them together as he watched the moon disappear behind a series of dark gray clouds. How was he supposed to stop loving Kate, when he was already this much involved. The thought of never being able to kiss her again, or even hold her made him depressed. If it hadn't been for Kate then he knew he would still be the same borderline paranoid doctor he had been before all of this. Kate changed him for the better, she changed his outlook on life, and he wasn't ready to lose her.

**_It must have been love but it's over now... _**

Lay a whisper on my pillow  
Leave the winter on the ground  
I wake up lonely, there's air of silence  
In the bedroom and all around

Touch me now, I close my eyes  
And dream away

In the other room Kate curled up on the bed, she pulled the covers over the carpenter jeans and wife beater that she wore. Closing her eyes she tried to forget everything, Kate reached out for the pillow Jack had been sleeping on, and then held it close to her body. The pillow smelled like his cologne, she had always wondered where he had gotten it from. Kate buried her face in the pillow, and then wished that Jack would come back into the room. So she could tell him that she was sorry for being the way she was. Kate clutched onto the pillow as she tried to remember every close encounter she had shared with Jack.

_**It must have been love but it's over now  
It must have been good but I lost it somehow  
It must have been love but it's over now  
From the moment we touched 'til the time had run out **_

Make-believing we're together  
That I'm sheltered by your heart  
But in and outside I've turned to water  
Like a teardrop in your palm

And it's a hard winter's day  
I dream away

* * *

_Kate held her hands together in anticipation as she watched the door open._

_The rain started to pick up, and lightning ricocheted against the sky._

_Jack closed the cab door, and then stared back at the house._

_Kate squealed excitedly. She was surprised at herself, she never really squealed, but Jack seemed to have mysterious effects on her._

_Before the taxi could reverse all the way out of Sawyer's dirt driveway. Kate had already thrown open the door. Her bare feet came in contact with the wet grass, but she didn't care. Through the rain and the lightning all she could see was Jack, he had come back to her!_

"_Hey, what are you doing out here!" He yelled back._

_It still sounded as if he had some reservations about her, but he came back, so he was willing to work through all that._

_Kate ran over to him, and wrapped her arms around him._

_Jack picked her up in his arms, and then held her tightly. "I tried to get away from you,"_

_Kate slowly let go of him, "So why didn't you?"_

"_Because I made a promise to you, and I got to keep it." Jack said placing his hands on her soaked sleeves._

_Kate smiled back at him, "Don't ever leave me again."_

"_Only if you promise not to beat me up,"_

_Kate hugged him once more, "Never,"_

_Jack reached for Kate's hand and then looked down at her feet. He let go, and then picked her up in his arms._

_Kate's heart started to beat faster._

"_In case you haven't noticed, you're not wearing shoes,"_

"_I was so flustered when I saw you, I didn't have a chance to put any on."_

* * *

_**It must have been love but it's over now  
It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without  
It must have been love but it's over now  
It's where the water flows  
It's where the wind blows**_

* * *

Kate glanced towards the door, and on the other side as did Jack. But they were both let down, when neither of them made an attempt to console the other.

Kate looked away and then pulled the covers over her head, as she hugged Jack's pillow tighter. This is for the best, she tried to tell herself even though her heart, which she used to avoid following, told her that was a lie. They were over before they had even begun.


	2. Strange and Beautiful

Disclaimers: I do not own "Lost", The title "Slow Heat in Heaven" belongs to Sandra Brown, and the song "Strange and Beautiful" belongs to Aqualung

Chapter 2- Strange and Beautiful

Did Kate really think he was smothering her? It seemed as if she enjoyed being with him, or at least he thought so. Jack lowered himself onto the couch, and then stared at a slowly dying fire in the fireplace. If only Kate would let him in long enough to help her deal with whatever she was going through. Jack sighed. He doubted that would happen anytime soon.

He stretched his legs out on the tan sofa, and then rested his head against the chair arm. Even if he tried to go to sleep, he knew Kate would be the only thing on his mind. Everything had been so perfect earlier, they had danced, kissed, and even made nicknames for each other. A grin came to Jack's face at the thought of Kate dubbing him her "honey". The grin disappeared as fast as it came, when he thought about what happened afterwards. Kate was fine until she went off with Sawyer.

"I knew I should've went with Sawyer instead." Jack placed his hands over his tired eyes, and then slowly dropped his hand down to his mouth. He was having bad "Kate withdrawals". Every time he closed his eyes all he saw was them dancing together. Her body was so close to his, and his hand was draped casually around her waist. Another smile formed at the thought of Kate in Taylor's dress. Her hair had hung loosely around her shoulders in soft chocolate curls, and she was wearing a perfume that only caused him to be enticed even more by her natural beauty. Kate looked radiant, and the thought of being in a relationship with her, made him feel like the luckiest man on earth.

Jack's eyes slowly closed as he drifted off to sleep. The wind whistled underneath the door, but that didn't disturb him. Kate just needed some time. She had told Jack that she loved him, so that's all he needed to know. Jack shifted in the chair once again, he grabbed a throw pillow and propped it underneath his arm. If only that pillow was Kate. As he squeezed the pillow tighter, Jack slowly started to drift away into dreams about Kate.

* * *

Kate sat on the edge of the heater. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and then leaned forward, pressing her arms against her legs. The last 45 minutes all she had been thinking about was what she said to Jack. How could she tell him that he was smothering her? Kate shook her head, She wanted to go to Jack, and tell him that she was sorry, and then confess to him about the car accident.

Kate shivered at the thought of the cop. No matter what Jack said, she knew he was still very much into doing the right thing.

Kate bit her lip. Jack couldn't handle it. If she couldn't then neither could he, and she was happy to see that he was trying to live life with less worry these days, despite their situation. Kate was not going to bring him down with her.

She placed her hands to the side of her face, and then exhaled. Kate needed fresh air, she needed to get out of Taylor's house for a little while. She rested her hands against the heater one last time, appreciating it's warmth during these trying times, and then forced herself up. Kate's green eyes rested on a flannel shirt Jack had been wearing earlier, she reached for it, and then slipped it over her shoulders.

A quick snapshot of her trying to drag the cop towards the truck flashed into her mind.

She paused waiting for it to pass. His eyes stared back at her helplessly, and somehow he had managed to hold onto her hand briefly as she tried to talk to him. When the painful flashback continued, Kate closed her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and then started to count to five. Jack had taught her this trick when they had downtime in West Virginia at Sawyer's old place before it had been blown up.

Kate cringed. Just great, she tried to avoid one fear, and she thought up another. With small slightly paranoid footsteps she crept towards the door. Her arm reached out, and then she creaked the door open. "Jack," She whispered.

There was no response.

Kate gripped onto the sleeves of Jack's sweater and then pretended as if he was walking beside her. Jack had a calming effect on her, and she wasn't sure if that was the main reason she pushed him away. Maybe it was because she felt that she didn't deserve Jack, after keeping such a big secret from him. Kate placed the sleeve of Jack's flannel shirt to her nose as she sneezed. The aroma of his cologne wafted to her nose. She couldn't help but wonder again, where he had gotten it from. As Kate walked out into the den she saw Jack sprawled out on the couch, a pillow was wrapped in his arms, and his mouth was wide open.

He looked adorable. If only he wasn't so damn perfect. Or at least in her eyes. Kate quickly turned around, headed back into the room and then grabbed the comforter. Seconds later the comforter was on Jack. Kate sighed, and then leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead. She paused seconds before her lips came in contact with his skin. What was she doing?

Jack snored.

Startled Kate snapped out of her thoughts. She looked back at Jack remembering what she was about to do. Kissing him on the forehead was innocent, she didn't want a relationship now, but a friendship would be fine. Kate knew in her heart she wanted more, but as of now she was too conflicted to admit any feelings she had. Closing her eyes, Kate leaned forward. Jack had slightly moved his head upwards in his sleep. Her lips came in contact with his mouth.

Oh God. Kate thought pulling away.

Jack's mouth opened wider, and then he started to stir. Fearing he would get up, and see her hovering over him like a lunatic, she walked towards the door.

"Kate,"

Kate froze at the door. Her hand gripped the doorknob. She glanced up at the ceiling, debating whether she should turn around and explain her actions, or else make a mad dash towards the woods in true fugitive style.

"Mmm…Kate,"

Kate's eyebrows lowered over her eyes. Was he sleep? Slowly her hand dropped to her carpenter jeans which were way too baggy for her small frame. First she glanced at the fire, it had completely died down, and then at the back of Jack's head.

"Kate, Love…"

Kate pouted. He wasn't helping her situation, he was only breaking her heart even more. If only she could be like every other woman who realized love when they saw it, and went after it before they lost their guy. Kate looked down sadly, if only she was used to Jack's love. Taking a deep breath, Kate walked back over to the chair. As she suspected Jack's eyes were still closed. Lowering herself down on the floor next to him, she stared back at him thoughtfully.

Kate would listen to him for a couple of seconds, and then try to take her late night walk. Her thoughts shifted for a second as her eyes rested on Sawyer's boots by the door. When was he coming back?

* * *

Sawyer crawled onto the banks of the river. Lucky for him the bridge wasn't too high, and he was even luckier that he was able to swim while being so damn drunk. His black shirt was matted to his body as he laid gasping for air, and squeezing the damp dirt between his hands. He was alive.

"Damn, I almost died," He muttered. Sawyer turned over on his belly, and then tried to push himself up. "Drunker than a hog, so damn drunk don't even remember my own name, where the hell am I?"

He placed one hand to his aching forehead. Right, he was staying with Taylor, his ex-girlfriend. Now all he had to do was get his drunk ass up and walk through the dark woods back to the house. Sawyer's blue eyes scanned the woods for any landmarks, the only landmark was the bridge a little way up, and the highway that led off of it.

"Well I'm fit to be tied. Where the hell is a navigation system when ya need one?" Sawyer groaned and then tried to pull himself up again. This time he was successful. He groaned once again when he felt a sharp pain rush through his arm.

"Aw shit, not only did I fall down a damn bridge, but I just injured myself to. What else can happen, what else do I deserve?"

Sawyer scowled when he remembered the reason that had brought him to this bridge. It was that man they had ran over, well he had ran over. Kate wasn't the murderer it was him. Sawyer stumbled towards the direction he faced when he stood up. "I don't like these woods, they ain't welcoming, look like something is going to jump right out at you." He reached in his pocket. Damn, he didn't have his gun. After running from hit men for a couple years he knew better than to leave the house without a gun.

"Shit, if they come after me I'm good as dead." He shook his head in frustration and then tried to pick up the pace. For a man who didn't scare easily, Sawyer had to admit that he was a little frightened. Out of all the woods he had been in, none of them had been this dark, he could barley even see the moon or the stars.

The same pain surged through his arm once more. Sawyer reached out with his free hand, and held his arm still. He closed his eyes, when he had remembered that he had driven Taylor's truck to the bridge. "Damn, lost my common sense, don't know which direction I came from, how I got here, where I'm going…a damn mess that's what this is."

Sawyer turned around, his bare feet sank into the damp soil as he walked back towards the truck. Crickets chirped noisily in the bushes, and when he looked ahead a deer stopped to look at him.

He frowned, "Whatcha lookin at Rudolph, you wanna mess with me too. Because I'll win this battle." Sawyer's speech was still slurred, and with every step he took, a stumble followed right after.

The deer ran off into the woods.

Suddenly Sawyer heard some walking behind him. He stopped dead in his tracks and then looked around. Silence invaded the crisp night air. He clenched his jaw, He was drunk, but not that drunk to be hallucinating. Sawyer made a sudden grab for his "gun" but then he remembered that he didn't have it.

Someone else was out here with him.

* * *

Kate stood up. For the last couple of minutes she had listened to Jack murmur her name over and over again, mixed with groans, and sighs. Kate wasn't sure what Jack was dreaming about, but whatever it was brought a smile to his face. She glanced down at him once more, and then headed outside. The air smelled smoky, and her ears prickled from the surrounding coldness. Where was Sawyer?

Kate scowled as she stared into the woods. Maybe going in there wasn't that good of an idea. She lowered herself onto the porch and then stared ahead thoughtfully. Tonight had been rough, and she just wanted to forget it all. Kate sighed, and then a sad smile covered her tired features. "If only life was that easy,"

She heard something. Kate shot up, her fugitive instincts taught her to be alert at all times. "Who's there?" Kate quickly turned around to step back inside, but she had closed the door behind her, and now it was locked. With wide eyes, Kate turned around again. Everything seemed normal but she could've sworn she heard something. She bit her lip nervously as she stepped down from the porch. Kate took slow cautious steps towards the woods, determined to find out what or who the noise belonged to. Kate stepped over a thick log, and then peered around every tree.

The wind gently rustled tree branches.

Kate's heart started to pick up pace. She swallowed down a wad of nervousness in her throat. After the accident earlier she was already going through fits of paranoia, and that last thing she needed was something else to worry about. Kate slowly started to count again. "1…2…" Her eyes closed briefly, and then she allowed herself to relax against a tree. There was nothing in the woods, she was just wound up. Kate placed her hand to her forehead and then wiped away at the tears that had welled in her eyes. Why was she crying? Kate reached for her other hand in order to stop it from shaking so violently. Just as she was about to turn around, her eyes narrowed in on a figure standing up ahead. He was just standing there…or at least she thought it was a he. Kate cautiously stepped closer, her heart beating rapidly.

He quickly ducked behind a tree.

Kate stopped. She raised an eyebrow, and then looked around for a weapon. With a quick and nervous gesture she snatched up a branch. Kate glanced at the branch, realizing how insufficient it was as a weapon. Her brain was screaming for her to go back, but she couldn't, what if one of Sawyer's "friends" had tracked them down. Kate glanced at the tree branch once again. But what could she do with a branch? Kate dropped the branch, and then substituted it for a large rock.

* * *

Sawyer was conscious enough to realize someone was walking towards him. He had dived behind a tree, because he expected gun shots to be fired at him seconds after being sighted. Sawyer took in ragged mouthfuls of air as he heard them step closer. He was going to be damned if he was going to get killed in the woods. After running all this time, he wasn't going to give up without a fight. Sawyer looked around for a weapon.

* * *

_Jack stepped into his apartment in Cologne, Germany. In his hands he held a paper bag with three German dishes, and a six pack of beer in the other. He flipped on the light switch, and a smile crept across his face when he saw the red and white rose petals, which led to a satin sheet laid on the polished hardwood floors. Jack sat down the food, and beer, and then walked towards the back. Night had washed over Cologne, boats floated down the Rhine River, and people talked loudly on the sidewalk below._

_"Kate?" Jack called. He glanced at the satin sheet on the floor once more, and then grinned. "Are you here baby?"_

_"I'm in the room."_

_Jack raised his eyebrows in anticipation, and then walked towards the back. He pulled his denim jacket off and then draped it across a cream chair in their place for the time being. He placed a hand against the door and then opened it. Candles illuminated the dark room, and more rose petals led towards the bed. Kate had beat him at his own game. _

_"Hey Doc," Kate sat on the bed, her hair hung loosely around her face, and she wore a sexy dark purple lingerie gown. "I thought you deserved a treat so…" Kate paused to look around, "I decided to treat you."_

_"I've had a long day."_

_Kate tilted her head to the side, "Don't you always, I thought you could use a massage…do you want oil or lotion."_

_Jack grinned as he looked down. "Where did you get these flowers from?"_

_Kate shrugged, "They came today for Jennifer Ryan,"_

_Jack chuckled, "So you plucked off each petal and made trails for me."_

_"I had a lot of time on my hands, and besides I'm not a flowers kind of girl you know that Jack…or should I say Michael?"_

_"We don't have to use the code names here," Jack kicked off his shoes and then lowered himself onto the bed. He rested his head in Kate's lap and then looked up at her. "I'm starting to get used to Germany, I hope they don't find us."_

_Kate placed her hands against the sides of Jack's face. "We've been pretty good at covering our trail so far," She leaned forward to kiss him._

_Jack immediately accepted Kate's kiss. He brought his head up slightly, so he could get better access to her soft and warm lips. Jack reached forward and then wrapped an arm around her back. He was tempted to gently slide down the straps of her lingerie gown, but he allowed his hand to rest on her shoulder._

_"Is that food I smell?" Kate asked between kissing him._

_Jack rested his head back on the bed, and then took in a mouthful of air. Whenever he kissed Kate, he had to remind himself to breathe. Her beauty intoxicated him, and made him foolish. _

_Kate traced her hand along Jack's gray shirt. "What did you bring back for me?"_

_Jack smiled, "Nothing you can pronounce, it's all German."_

_Kate rolled her eyes up to the ceiling playfully, and then she grabbed Jack by his shirt. _

_Jack placed his hands on her shoulders, and then smiled in satisfaction as Kate crawled on top of him. "It feels so good to have you all to myself. I don't like to share."_

_Kate's lips curled into a smile, "Neither do I," She leaned forward to kiss him again. "How about we do dinner first and then a massage and then…"_

_Jack nodded, "Then get a little closer."_

_Kate traced her hand against Jack's lips, and then she stole a quick kiss. Jack slowly got up, he placed his hands around Kate's waist. She squealed as he picked her up, and then carried her through the apartment. Kate kicked her legs outwards, and then wrapped an arm around Jack's neck._

_"You didn't say anything about my decorating."_

_Jack looked around, "You changed the little bit of furniture we had around?"_

_"Yes, isn't it beautiful?"_

_"Nah,"_

_"Jack!" Kate hit him upside the head._

_"I was kidding, Damn Kate,"_

_She smiled satisfied, "I thought the place would look better if we pushed the couch aside so we could take advantage of the view of the river,"_

_Jack let Kate down on the satin sheet on the floor. _

_"Can I ask you a question babe,"_

_"Ask away," Kate prompted looking back at Jack with temptation._

_"What exactly is this sheet for on the floor, what were your plans for it."_

_Kate shrugged innocently, "The massage, and maybe a little fun afterwards."_

_Jack reached for the food on the counter and then the six pack of beer._

_"Mmm…it smells good," Kate reached for the bag as soon as Jack sat it down by her._

_"Hey, hold on there,"_

_Kate pulled back, "What Jack, do you have to get my bib ready?"_

_Jack smirked, "No, but we're not eating normally tonight. You haven't had German cuisine before, so I thought we could make this interesting."_

_"Oh okay,"_

_Jack quickly grabbed something off of the counter and then held it behind his back. _

_"What is that?" Kate asked trying to peer around Jack._

_"Hey," He bent down beside her and then whispered, "Close your eyes,"_

_"You're lucky I trust you."_

_"I know, but it took a long time to gain that trust." Jack watched as Kate closed her eyes. He smiled back at her as he placed a gold blindfold over her eyes._

_"I think I see where this is going."_

_"I have three dishes here and you're going to tell me which ones you want to try."_

_"Okay," She said softly._

_Jack pulled the Styrofoam containers of food out of the brown paper bag. "Okay I have some Rosti, Tafelspitz, and Schawzwalder." _

_Kate's eyebrows furrowed low over her blindfold, "Jack, you better not give me something like roasted rat or seasoned pigeon."_

_Jack laughed, "I wouldn't. So what do you want first?" He reached for three plastic forks and then opened the boxes. Hopefully she chooses the Schawzwalder first, the chocolate cake with cherries, whipped cream, and grated chocolate, he thought to himself._

_Kate sighed, "I'll have the…um the Ta..Taf…"_

_"Tafelspitz?"_

_"Yeah, that one." Kate replied._

_Jack dipped the fork into the beef with horseradish and then brought it towards Kate's mouth._

_"Open up,"_

_Kate hesitated, "Jack, I swear if it is curried snake then…"_

_"Curried snake isn't even a dish, open up."_

_Kate slowly opened her mouth. He then quickly fed her the Tafelspitz. _

_"Not bad," _

_"I told you," Jack whispered._

_"I smell chocolate…I want that Jack."_

_Jack looked down at the cake, "Rosti, or Schawzwalder?"_

_"I'm going to hurt you Jack…okay the S one,"_

_He then lowered the fork into the chocolate cake coated with cherries, whipped cream, and grated chocolate. "Open your mouth for me again."_

_Kate opened her mouth and then leaned forward. Jack smiled, and then smeared a little bit of the whipped cream against Kate's lips._

_Kate licked the whipped cream off, "Jack, is that the cake?"_

_"Yeah," He fed her the rest of the forkful, and then took off her blindfold. "How is it?"_

_"Good!" She declared. Kate reached for the cake, and then grabbed the fork out of Jack's hand. She sliced into the velvety smooth treat and then held a forkful out to Jack. "You have to try this, it's like Heaven."_

_Jack opened his mouth, but Kate tricked him by flicking the small piece of cake at his nose. _

_"Kate!"_

_She jumped up and then made a mad dash towards their room. Jack shot up as well, he chased after her, and then tackled her onto the bed. Kate pushed him over her, and then got on top of him. "Next time you tackle me like that…" Kate licked the chocolate off of Jack's nose, and then leaned away, "I'm going to make you pay."_

_Jack pointed to the chocolate and whipped cream on his eye, "Could you get that too."_

_Kate pinned Jack's hands down by his sides, "I'm a tough girl Jack."_

_"I know," _

_"I could easily take you down."_

_"Maybe," Jack laughed._

_Kate giggled, "I could, I went through strenuous fugitive training before I met you, and…"_

_Jack silenced Kate with a kiss. "And I went through Med school, but none of that matters now does it."_

_"I guess not." Kate kissed Jack's eye, and then licked off the chocolate cake. "All that matters now is that I'm with you, and that you decided to follow after me no matter how many times I tried to push you away."_

* * *

Jack slowly opened his eyes. He looked around excitedly expecting Kate to be on top of him in a very tempting lingerie gown. But when he sat up, he realized that Kate wasn't anywhere near, and that he was in North Carolina not Cologne, Germany. He closed his eyes in disappointment. He could still feel Kate on top of him, and taste her lips on his. If only it was real.

Jack stood up. If he didn't give up on his love for Kate then maybe he could make that real. Travel with her across the world under aliases, and just rely on one another. Jack walked towards the room he shared with Kate.

"Hey Jack,"

Jack turned around and looked into the kitchen where Taylor sat. Her blonde hair was tied up in a messy bun on top of her head, and she wore an oversized gray sweater over black shorts.

"What are you doing up so late?" Jack asked.

Taylor shrugged, "Having coffee, reflecting. Do you want some?"

"Um…sure,"

Taylor got up and then reached for a container of ground coffee from the pantry. "Folgers, Maxwell, any preferences?"

"Surprise me," Jack said sitting down across from her.

"Okay, so I heard you and Kate fighting earlier."

Jack sighed, "Yeah,"

"She loves you Jack,"

He glanced up at Taylor.

She gave him a reassuring nod, "My daughter noticed it first. Whenever you're turned away from Kate, she suddenly develops this look."

Jack crossed his arms and then leaned forward, "Look?"

Taylor nodded, "It's hard to explain, but she looks at you like some…hero, or man of her dreams. Corny I know, but that's what it looks like to me, and Chloe."

Jack looked down thoughtfully. "I love Kate…" His thoughts trailed when he realized that Taylor was hanging on his every word. "I know you used to have a relationship with Sawyer in high-school do you still like him."

"How couldn't I love that man's southern charm." Taylor smiled. "Sawyer is still the same handsome, mischievous guy that he used to be. I still like him, but I think he likes…"

"Kate," Jack filled in.

Taylor nodded, "Yeah,"

* * *

Kate raised the rock above her head as she got closer to the tree.

Sawyer jumped out.

Kate screamed and then dropped the rock, Sawyer tackled her to the ground. They both slipped, and tumbled backwards down a small hill coated with damp mud and leaves.

"I gotcha, I gotcha," Sawyer chanted.

"Sawyer it's me!" Kate yelled.

Sawyer glanced down at her realizing for the first time that it actually was Kate. "Damn Freckles, what the hell?"

"You've been drinking, how could you after…"

Sawyer clamped his hands over Kate's mouth. "Don't even bring that up. I mourned for a bit, and I'm not trying to stay sad, so I done forgot about it."

Kate's eyes widened, and she was about to scream back at him, but stopped when she heard footsteps.

Sawyer shifted his weight off of her, and then relaxed as he looked up startled. "Did ya hear that?"

Kate nodded.

Sawyer clenched his jaw as he looked around. "I thought you were the only one out here Freckles…did Jack follow ya?"

Kate shook her head. She didn't think Jack followed her, after all he had been so caught up in a dream about her.

"Where are you?" A voice said.

Sawyer ducked down lower into the shadows. That voice definitely didn't belong to Jack.

Kate's eyes widened in fear.

The sound of footsteps loomed closer. "Come out and talk…I promise I won't…."

Everything grew silent.

Kate grabbed onto Sawyer's damp shirt in fear.

"What the hell?" Sawyer whispered.

Kate signaled for Sawyer to keep his mouth shut frantically.

"If you come out and talk to me, I promise I won't tell anyone what you did."Kate gasped.

Sawyer glanced down at her in fear. His eyes widened, and his heart picked up pace. He could feel Kate's heart beating against his own. Hers' was just as fast and frantic.

"Won't tell, won't tell," The footsteps disappeared.

A couple of minutes later Sawyer started to get up.

"No!" Kate whispered harshly, she grabbed Sawyer by his arm and then pulled him back down. He collapsed back onto her.

"Well unless you like this position sweet cheeks, why don't you let me up?"

"How can you joke during a time like this! That person said they know what we did." Kate growled.

"They don't know shit, no one was around, I may be drunk now, but I know that much." Sawyer spat. He held out his hand to help Kate up.

Kate gingerly took it. She wasn't as convinced as Sawyer, he was good at denial, but she wasn't. Kate looked down. Something was wrong with this situation, very wrong.

"I left the truck back on the bridge, I forgot and I started to walk back." Sawyer laughed.

Kate grabbed him by the arm, "Can we just hurry up and get back to Taylor's house."

"You scared…I'll protect you from the crazies in the woods." He laughed, and then repeated, "Crazies,"

"You're drunk, just shut-up," Kate looked around cautiously as she followed after Sawyer.

* * *

Jack and Taylor turned around as the door opened.

Both Sawyer and Kate stepped in.

Jack stood up, and then walked over to then in surprise. They were both covered in mud. He glanced at Kate, hoping she would give him answers, but Kate quickly diverted her eyes away from him. Jack frowned. He wasn't going to ask any questions, because Kate wanted him to back off…so he was, at least for the time being.

Kate looked at him once again.

Jack looked up. He gave her an encouraging smile. If she knew he was on her side, then maybe that would help.

Kate looked back down.

Jack sighed. He didn't handle rejection well, but he continuously found himself willing to take Kate's.

"Oh mi god," Taylor gasped. She ran to the pantry closet and then grabbed two towels, and washcloths. Seconds later she returned, and gave them each to Sawyer and Kate. "What happened?"

Sawyer started to pull of his shirt, "Freckles and I wrestled in the mud, she's tough."

Jack looked away. In his dream, Kate had told him the same thing. But he didn't believe Sawyer. Kate and him hadn't been wrestling, something else happened and Kate was really bothered by it.

* * *

Kate stepped back into the room she was sharing with Jack after showering. A towel was wrapped around her waist, and she held a tee-shirt, and some sweat pants in her hand.

Jack who had been wide awake earlier, closed his eyes. He was turned towards Kate, but he tried to keep his eyes shut.

Kate turned to glance over her shoulder at Jack. She then glanced towards the door.

Jack quickly adjusted his head on the pillow, and then rested his arm underneath.

Kate turned around once again.

Jack closed his eyes just in time before there eyes connected.

Kate kept the towel on as she got dressed, once the jogging pants were on, she allowed the towel to fall to the floor.

Jack slowly opened his eyes once more. His eyes rested on Kate's bare back.

_I've been watching your world from afar,  
I've been trying to be where you are,  
And I've been secretly falling apart,  
I'll see.  
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,  
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,  
You turn every head but you don't see me_.

Kate slipped the tee-shirt over her head, and then turned around. She knew Jack had been watching her. Kate cautiously glanced out the window, and shivered as she looked out into the woods. With one swift movement she closed the blinds. Maybe Sawyer was right. She really needed to believe he was right, right now.

Kate lowered herself onto the bed with Jack. His pillow was impossibly close to hers'. She laid down turned away from him, and then hugged her pillow close to her head.

Kate scooted closer to him. She stopped as soon as she felt Jack's stomach pressed against her back. She was scared, and she needed to feel safe right now.

_I'll put a spell on you,  
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.  
And when I wake you,  
I'll be the first thing you see, lyric stop  
And you'll realize that you love me._

_Yeah...  
Yeah..._

Kate knew she was settled for the night. As long as she felt Jack breathing softly on her neck, and his stomach rising behind her, she knew everything would be okay for tonight. Jack had to think she was crazy. Pushing him away one minute and then wanting him as close to her as possible the next. Kate backed up even closer to him. He reached out and wrapped his arm around her.

Kate closed her eyes.

_Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,  
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,  
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,  
Sometimes..._

_I'll put a spell on you,  
You'll fall asleep,  
I'll put a spell on you,  
And when I wake you,  
I'll be the first thing you see,  
And you'll realize that you love me_

* * *

Sawyer stepped into Taylor's room, wearing nothing but a towel.

Taylor looked up from her romance novel, and then quickly tried to look away.

Sawyer flopped down on her bed. "I don't want to take the kid's room."

Taylor adjusted her black rimmed glasses over her aqua saucers. "Um…Chloe wouldn't mind, she could sleep in here with me."

"I like them glasses on you." Sawyer replied. He glanced towards the woods through the window and then looked away.

"I'll carry Chloe in here and then you can take her room."

Sawyer crawled up to the top of the bed and then rested his head on the pillow next to Taylor. "I don't like those _Care Bears_ she has on the walls. They're scary."

Taylor giggled, "_Care Bears_ are gentle."

"They're too damn happy, something ain't right about em' and after my day, the last thing I need is to be strangled by a damn _Care Bear_."

"Okay fine you can sleep in here,"

Sawyer smiled, "One thing Sunshine,"

Taylor blushed, "Yeah?"

"Can we close the curtains, I don't like the woods lookin' back at me when I'm trying to get some shut-eye."

"Sure," Taylor got out of bed, and then closed the curtains. She returned to the bed and then placed down her book, and glasses. "Night Sawyer,"

He didn't respond.

Taylor sat up, "Sawyer?"

Sawyer started to snore.

Taylor smiled, and then she leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. "I guess I'm not going to get any sleep tonight. Good night Sawyer,"

(Hey everyone, thanks for coming back! I hope you'll liked this chapter. Guys, I want Jack and Kate to be together too, and they will eventually, but I think that if they are just together without conflict, then it could be boring. I added in the "dream in Germany" to make-up for the fight between Jack and Kate…but unfortunately it was just a dream. While writing that though, it made me wish Jack and Kate were traveling to different countries while on the run…that would be fun, but it depends on how long this will be. I might update later this week, or next week, until then. Peace.)


	3. Tears for Fears

Chapter 3- Tears for Fears

Kate kept on playing the scenes over and over in her head. First, she was with Sawyer in the car, and then they hit the cop. Then, he died in her arms. Kate shivered, she needed to find a way to break this cycle. She glanced behind her, Jack was sleeping impossibly close to her, and somehow he had managed to swing his arm over her body and entwine his hands in hers. Kate closed her eyes. Even after fighting with him, and trying to push him as far away as possible he still loved her. Kate loved this guy, and that's what scared her the most.

In that second Kate realized that Jack had managed to detour her troubled thoughts briefly. She sighed, and then squeezed his hand tighter. Something inside of her just wanted to confess to Jack. Tell him about the car accident, the body, and even the person that she and Sawyer had heard in the woods. Jack could make it all better because he genuinely cared for her. Kate adjusted her body on the bed, and then rested her head against Jack's chest. She was crazy, how could she want him so much, but at the same time want him to let her go. This relationship was too confusing.

Kate bit her lip. Relationship? Was there even one?

Jack stirred next to her, unconsciously he let go of her hand. Kate promptly grabbed his hand once again. She needed to feel safe, and contrary to her old way of life, she couldn't provide that safety anymore. Kate slowly allowed her eyes to close. She begged not to be reminded of the cops' lifeless eyes as he struggled to hold on. Her eyes squeezed shut, and then something more pleasant popped into her subconscious. She was now dreaming about Jack.

A shaky breath escaped her mouth at the thought of finally being able to give herself to him, all of herself, her love, her mind, and maybe even her body. Kate quickly opened her eyes. What the hell was wrong with her?

Jack brought his body closer to her. He was so close she could feel the warmth of his skin melting through her tee-shirt. Kate thought Jack was beautiful, everything about him. From the way he showed her his care, put her safety before his own, and constantly checked up on her to make sure she was okay. It was a little annoying at times, but deep down, she loved that he cared so much. No one had cared about her before Jack, next to Tom, so she still wasn't used to this.

Earlier she had told Jack that she didn't believe in Fairytales, and she didn't…but a part of her wanted too. Kate glanced at Jack once more, his eyes were closed, and he had the most adorable expression on his face. She smiled. A part of her wanted to believe in Fairytales, believe in this Fairytale with Jack, and believe that they would have a Happily Ever After ending. But since she was a kid, she had known better than that.

(Break)

_Kate sat across from her younger sister Kelly. Kelly was sprawled on the floor doing some finger painting, and Kate sat with her legs to her knees glancing outside longingly._

_Kelly looked up at Kate, "Are you waiting for Tom?"_

_Kate ignored her sister. She let out a sigh, and then wrapped her arms around tighter. _

_"Fine then, don't answer me, but I hope you know why he's leaving."_

_Kate turned to her sister, confusion was apparent in her alluring green eyes which had a tendency to change color. "What?"_

_Kelly looked around and then came closer to her, "His parents don't want him having anything to do with you…"_

_"What, how can you say that, you don't know anything, so just shut up!"_

_Kelly drew back and then picked up her papers on the floor. "His parents know about **Him**."_

_Kate looked down, "What does **he** have to do withanything?"_

_"Our stepdad, beat the shit out of Tom last time he saw you two together. But Tom didn't take that as a warning he still comes around Katie, you know how that man gets, when we don't follow his rules."_

_"He's not my dad! I don't give a damn about his rules…what is he going to do? Beat me, and give me a matching black eye like yours?"_

_Kelly placed her hand to her eye, "Thanks for bringing that up."_

_"How can you take it, you and mom just sit there and let him hit you."_

_"He doesn't touch you, why is that."_

_"Because I would kill him." Kate declared. "And I mean it, if he ever touched me, I would kill him."_

_"He'd kill you first."_

_Kate and Kelly glanced towards the door, where their step dad had just entered. "Where the fuck is Diane?" He yelled._

_Kate glared back at him. She was going to see Tom, and this belligerent man wasn't going to stop her. _

_"Where is Diane!" He yelled again._

_Kelly looked down at her finger paintings. She was shaking and visibly scared, but Kate showed no signs of fear. He stormed over to them, and grabbed Kelly roughly by the shoulders. She let out a choked scream._

_"I said where the hell is your mother!"_

_Kate shot up, "Get your hands off of her!"_

_He turned to Kate, his beady eyes showcased a primal and bewildered glaze. His beefy hands let go of her sister. Kelly collapsed against the floor in tears._

_"What did you say to me girlie?"_

_Kate fought the instinct to sink back into the chair. She was scared of him, but couldn't back down, and show her his fear, or he would feed on that. With shaky legs, she slowly stood to her full 5'5 height. "I said don't…"_

_Before she could even finish he raised his hand, and then with one swift movement, he slapped her. Kate was thrown back against the chair, her cheek burned with pain, and her neck ached from the sudden trauma._

_She was shocked, stunned, but somehow she managed to get up again. "Don't ever…"_

_But he was too strong, and too tall. He gripped her by the shoulders, and then squeezed her arms so tightly that all she could do was scream. At the top of her lungs, let out the most blood curdling, painful scream she could muster._

_He shook her violently. "Shut up!"_

_"Get off of me!" Kate screamed with tears in her eyes. She glanced back at Kelly and silently pleaded for her help. _

_"Don't you ever talk back to me! You think you're running this household huh?" He squeezed her arms tighter._

_"Stop!" Kelly screamed._

_He turned around with ferocity and then punched Kelly in the stomach. The thirteen year old crumpled to the floor in helplessness. _

_Kate's eyes widened. She raised her knee, and then jammed it into his stomach. He groaned, but the force wasn't enough to take the burly man down._

_"You shouldn't have done that, you shouldn't have!" He screamed. His eyes bulged out like an angry cartoon character, and every vein in his neck bulged. With a violent force he slammed Kate onto the chair. She screamed as her back slammed onto the edge of the metal arm chair. She had to fight back, she had too. But her thoughts were silenced, and a great deal of pain overtook her._

_As she looked back at him through blurry eyes, she saw a monster. Kate tried to scream, but he was punching her. She had become his punching bag. Each blow he delivered to her stomach hurt more and more. _

_He was killing her, and she couldn't do anything about it. Why wasn't her sister helping her, and where was her mom when she needed her, and why did Tom have to leave when she needed him so much._

* * *

"Get off of me!" Kate screamed. 

Jack was alerted up. He let go of Kate with a quickness that he didn't know he possessed.

"Stop!" She let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"Kate!" Jack yelled. He could see that she was having a nightmare. Quickly Jack went over to her, he grabbed onto her wildly swinging arms. He clenched his jaw, as he watched the woman he loved scream, yell and fight in such turmoil.

"Kate, it's me Jack, can you hear me?"

Kate swung her leg outwards, she ended up kicking Jack in the face. Jack groaned as he collapsed off of the bed, and onto the floor.

"Leave me alone! I hate you…Ahhhh!" Kate screamed. Her arms swung wildly around her body. She tossed and turned like she was having a seizure, and tears streamed down her closed eyes.

Jack jumped up. His jaw ached from being rammed in the face by her foot with such force, but that didn't matter now. The only way to calm Kate was to get on top of her and hold her down.

"Ahh!" Kate screamed.

His heart twisted in pain at seeing her like this. Tears welled in his eyes. Something was wrong with Kate…something was deeply wrong. Jack quickly brought his body onto hers, His knees dug into the mattress as he tried to keep Kate from hurting herself, or falling to the ground. "Kate, Kate!" He said.

Kate screamed again. She threw her head back and opened her mouth so wide as she let out the loudest, gut-wrenching scream she could muster.

The door was thrown open and Sawyer barged in. His eyes rested on Jack's back, and then at Kate who was under him. "What the hell is goin' on here,"

Jack ignored Sawyer, "Kate, you have to wake up. It's me Jack,"

Sawyer quickly closed the door behind him. And then rushed over to Kate's bedside, he could act like he didn't care, but he did. "What's wrong with her?" He asked with wide eyes.

Jack ignored Sawyer once again. "Kate, it's Jack!"

"And Sawyer too!"

Jack glanced at him quickly and then focused back on Kate, who had suddenly stopped the screaming and fighting. He squeezed his eyes shut, and then took in a relieved mouthful of air. "She was having a nightmare,"

Sawyer's brows furrowed low over his eyes, "Did she say what about?"

"No," Jack slowly got off of Kate, and then affectionately ran his hands across her cheek. "I'm worried about her, she's been really jumpy lately."

"I'm worried about her too." Sawyer said glancing down at Kate. Once he realized that Jack was staring back at him, his face hardened. "What jumpin' Jacks? I can't be concerned about Sassafras too?"

"What happened while you'll were gone?" Jack questioned.

"Come again Doc?"

Jack glanced down at Kate, and then back at Sawyer. "When you and Kate went to get rid of Vinnie's truck, what happened? Kate was fine before she left, so something had to throw her off."

"I didn't do shit." Sawyer spat.

"How about you keep your voice down so she can get some sleep,"

"And how 'bout you stop questioning me Jackass."

"Why are you so on edge, I'm asking you a simple question." Jack leaned forward as if he knew something. "You look guilty like you're hiding something."

Sawyer smirked, "Wouldn't you like to know."

Jack sighed, "We're in this together Sawyer, you me and Kate, so I need you to tell me what happened."

"Like you can make it go away…with one twinkle of your magic fairy wand. Well let me tell you something boy, it doesn't work that way." Sawyer's eyes softened when he looked down at Kate. He couldn't help but wonder if she was having the nightmare because of what _he_ had done.

"You like testing me don't you." Jack growled.

"And you like to test me, push my buttons, and expect me to report to President Jack whenever something goes wrong."

"We're finished here," Jack declared.

"I'm not going no where," Sawyer watched as Kate slowly stirred. She looked back at Jack first, and then sat up.

"Hi," Kate mumbled. She could tell by the expressions of concern on Jack's face…and even Sawyer's, that she had done something to awake them during the dream. "I'm fine,"

Jack placed his hand to his jaw. He was careful of the words he chose. "You had a really bad nightmare Kate,"

"I know, but it was just a nightmare," She dismissed quickly.

Jack wanted to reach out for her hand, and tell her that she could trust him. But he couldn't force her to give him that. He glanced down in helplessness. He didn't like feeling helpless, especially when it came to Kate.

"Can I make you some hot chocolate?" Sawyer asked.

Jack was stunned, Sawyer offering to do something for someone besides himself? Kate seemed to be shocked herself when Jack looked at her.

When Kate didn't immediately respond to Sawyer, he placed his hand on her arm.

Kate shivered, and then looked at him.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I just wanted to know if you wanted some hot chocolate, I might make it too hot, but I'll put marshmallows in there for ya." Sawyer smiled briefly.

"Thanks Sawyer," Kate said hesitantly.

He nodded and then stood up, "Jack want some…ahh forget it."

"Actually I do," Jack replied.

Sawyer paused in the doorway. He had only been kidding. Well if Jack wanted hot chocolate, then Sawyer would give him a surprise to let him know just what he thought of him. Maybe a few lugies would do.

Sawyer felt bad for Kate, and he usually didn't feel bad for anyone but himself. He closed his eyes, and the sighed. The pretty girl was all bent out of shape because of what he had done. A part of him wanted to talk to her, and try to comfort her, but he knew that wouldn't work. Sawyer didn't do comforting, even when he knew something was his fault. Damn Kate, she had him on an emotional roller coaster all night. He didn't want to care about Freckles, but he did, and he hated seeing her all broken up inside like this.

* * *

After a few seconds of silence, Kate placed her hand against Jack's jaw. 

Jack winced, but it was very quick.

"Did I do that?" She whispered. Kate was trying as best she could to put up a front. She didn't want Jack to worry about her anymore that he already did.

"Nah, I…um…I,"

Kate tilted her head to the side, "You what? Walked into a tree…and it scraped your jaw?"

"Yeah, it was a fierce tree." Jack said trying to muster a smile.

"I'm sorry Jack, I'll go and get some ice to take care of that." She stood up, but Jack latched onto her arm.

"I know I'm being the bad guy here, but I can't help but to worry about you. Maybe I am smothering you, but I care about you too much to just sit on the sidelines and watch as you…"

"I'm fine Jack," Kate plastered on a sugary sweet smile, that Jack could easily read through. "I was just having a nightmare about…The Marshal, I guess I was scared that he had come to get me."

Jack knew that was a lie, but he sufficed to her story anyways. "Not on my watch."

"And for the record, I don't think you're smothering me. I'm going to go and get you that ice."

Jack nodded.

Kate paused in the doorway and then turned around, "Thanks for keeping me warm, I was so cold before but…" She looked away, and then gave Jack an embarrassed nod. "Okay…I'm going to get that ice."

Kate walked into the kitchen. She was glad to see that Taylor and Chloe still seemed to be asleep. Her eyes closed at the thought of the painful flashback. She hadn't thought about her step father, and Kelly in so long. The thought almost brought her to tears again, but she fought the tears when she stepped into the kitchen with Sawyer. He was leaned against the counter, with a tub of Cookies and Cream ice-cream in his hands.

Kate forced a smile, "One of those days?"

"I could ask you the same…but I already know the answer to that sweetheart." He dipped his spoon in and then took a bite. "Ya can't go beatin' yourself up over the…you know."

Kate shrugged, "It's too sad to think about right now."

Sawyer walked towards the entrance of the kitchen and then peered around for Jack. "I'm surprised you're watchdog ol' faithful Jack didn't come trailing after you."

"How are you?" Kate asked.

"Me, oh, I'm fine, it's sunshine, and clouds on a rainy day over here." Sawyer smiled.

"No really," Kate said resting her hand against the refrigerator.

Sawyer handed her the tub of ice-cream and then the spoon. "Have some, it'll make ya feel better."

"Did it make you feel better?" Kate tested.

"I don't need no damn ice-cream, to make me feel better about anything. I'm good, I always have been and I still am sweetheart."

Kate dipped the spoon into the ice-cream and then took a mouthful. "I think I'll bring this back to the room with Jack."

"Yeah, you'll can have a girls' night out." Sawyer jokingly clapped his hands, "And you'll can talk about guys, cry over movies, and do each others hair."

"You don't have to be alone in this."

"Neither do you." Sawyer responded.

Kate looked away. She handed Sawyer back his ice-cream, "Maybe you need this more than me." Opening the refrigerator, she pulled out some ice-cubes and then wrapped them in a cloth. "I doubt I'm going to be able to get any sleep after…everything, so I'm going to stay up. Make sure Jack falls asleep, and then reflect."

Sawyer nodded, "I'm gonna fall asleep like a baby."

Kate looked down. "My conscious won't let me," With that she disappeared, leaving Sawyer behind.

He sighed, and then dipped his spoon back into the ice-cream.

* * *

Kate came back into the room with Jack. 

"I think I got it." He said.

Kate looked back at him in concern. She lowered herself onto the bed next to him. He reached for the ice out of her hand, and then placed it to his jaw. In a desperate attempt to distract herself and him, she removed his hand from the ice, and then replaced it with her own.

"You just relax," She said quietly.

"I know something happened with Sawyer…"

"You're wrong…"

"Kate, let me finish. I'm not going to ask you any questions, but I think you're going through post-traumatic stress because of…" Jack looked away in thought. "Because of what happened."

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm fine." Kate replied, a little more forced than last time.

"I'm sorry I guess I was wrong." He said.

Kate knew that he was right. How else could she explain her dramatic swifts in mood, the fight she had with Jack earlier, and the paranoia that came with the flashbacks. "I'm sorry for waking you."

Jack shook his head, "It's no problem, I'm sorry about diagnosing you without any actual evidence, I guess it is the doctor in me, or the part of me that will always worry about you…even when you don't want me too."

Kate placed the ice away from Jack's jaw, and then held it in her hands. "You're all fixed."

Jack smiled back at her, even though he knew she wasn't fixed. Her smile was fake, and he could see the sadness behind her beautiful eyes.

"Two hot chocolates, and a hot chocolate with marshmallows," Sawyer announced stepping into the room.

He handed Jack's his first.

Jack didn't trust the hot chocolate so he sat it down on the press.

Sawyer smirked back at Jack, "Drink up, while it's hot."

Jack raised an eyebrow. He definitely wasn't drinking that.

"Buttercup, this is for ya." He replied holding a cup out to Kate.

"Thanks," Kate took the cup and then took a sip of the hot chocolate, three large marshmallows grazed the roof of her mouth. For the first time that night she felt a smile creeping up, but she quickly lost it. "Sawyer you put big marshmallows in here?"

"Yeah, five of em' darlin."

Kate smiled, "I guess I'll wait until they melt, and then enjoy the hot chocolate."

Sawyer pointed to Jack's on the press, "Doc, drink on up. I made yours' with a special blend."

Forcing herself to put on a brave face for Jack, she turned to him. "Don't drink that."

Jack nodded back at Kate, "I had no plans on it."

"Oh c'mon!" Sawyer exclaimed.

* * *

Outside he watched. Each breathhe took spilled out in foggy smoke. A sinister smile formed alonghis face ashe watched the three. The curtain was transparent, and the same blonde guy that hehad seen earlier was sitting in a chair, while the brunette was sitting on the bed very close to a dark haired man. 

He gripped his rifle tighter. Soon it would be time to hunt.

His eyes then zeroed in on Kate. She was going to be first.

(Thanks for reviewing last chap everyone! It makes me feel good to know that you'll are still liking this thus far.

XxLauraxX, and Rain1657- I enjoyed writing the Germany scene, and it made me think how fun it would be to take them out of the U.S. but that might take a while.

Kballgetlost- Jack can obviously take a lot...at least where Kate is concerned...and this person in the woods isn't the Marshal, or Sawyer's "friends", but someone equally crazy...they have reason to be concerned.

Oct-Thanks for the compliment, and yes I'm a guy. And you are seeing a little "friction" betweem Sawyer and Taylor.

Thank you's as well to Sunny102, Cohen101, Angel, Clarkson04, delee, and Orlando-crazy.)


	4. Sugar and Spice

Chapter 4- Sugar and Spice

The eggs squeezed from in between the white shells, and then sizzled into the pot. Promptly she stirred the eggs together, and then glanced on the counter to see that she had forgotten the butter and salt. Taking a spoon she scooped up a healthy serving of butter, and then tossed it into the pan. The yellow substance bubbled and sizzled as it hit the pan. Next was the bacon, one by one she laid each strip on the foil, and after she had sixteen strips down, she turned on the stove and then slid the bacon inside.

"What are ya cooking?" Sawyer asked coming into the kitchen.

Chloe turned around, "Breakfast…duh,"

Sawyer was taken aback at first, but then a sly smile spread across his face. "Does your mama know that you're trying to burn the house down?"

Chloe jumped off of her stool, and then pushed it towards the cabinet. "She taught me how to cook, because she works late at night, and she comes home hungry." Chloe skipped over to the refrigerator. "And Mr. Sawyer, mommies have to eat too."

Sawyer flinched at the nickname.

"Are Jack and Kate up…my little angels?"

Sawyer sat down at the table and then gingerly reached for the newspaper, "Angels, huh?"

Chloe pulled out some pancake batter, and milk. "Can I please use you're help Mister?"

Sawyer turned the page, and then raised the newspaper so he wouldn't have to see the little girl with dirty blonde curls and big blue eyes. Little footsteps walked towards him. He couldn't help but smirk, this little girl had to be between six and eight.

The newspaper was tapped from the other side.

"Oh look, it's going to be snowin' on Halloween."

"Really?" Chloe squealed.

"Nah, gotcha kiddo." Sawyer chuckled and then placed down the newspaper. "Is there a reason why you're staring at me like that?"

Chloe pouted, "I can reach the stove with my stool, but the cabinets…" Chloe patted Sawyer's leg to get his attention, and then pointed towards upper cabinets. "They are too high."

Sawyer sighed, "And what do'ya want me to do munchkin."

"Hey, that's not nice."

Sawyer leaned forward and then patted Chloe on the head, "Munchkin."

Chloe pointed her finger at Sawyer, "Behave,"

"I'm a bad boy, what if I don't wanna."

Chloe looked down, and then looked up. "I'm gonna tell mommy, you're acting up."

Sawyer was tempted to add in. And what is Mommy gonna do? Give me a spanking. But he held his tongue by some miracle, because Chloe was so young.

Chloe quickly turned around, ran towards the stove and then grabbed her stool so she could stir the eggs. "Burnt eggs are nasty, yay, they aren't burnt."

Sawyer placed down his newspaper, and then walked over to Chloe. "You better consider yourself lucky, that you're so darn cute."

"Aww, that's nice," Chloe said handing Sawyer the stirring utensil.

Sawyer accepted it, but then looked down. "No you don't. I'm not stirring no eggs."

"Just make sure it doesn't stick, and watch the bacon too."

"What bacon?" Sawyer complained.

"In the stove, don't you smell it."

"Unbelievable, she asks me to help her, and then she got me cookin! Typical."

"I'm going to go check on Kate and Jack, I'll be back in a minute to make some pancakes,"

"Let me guess, with sugar, spice and everything nice." He drawled slowly causing his southern accent to become more distinct.

"Aren't all little girls made of that?"

"No," Sawyer said.

Chloe turned around and then walked away.

Sawyer felt bad, he wasn't good with little kids, and besides if he wasn't have any little terrors of his own, why try.

Chloe peeked around the corner, "But I am,"

Sawyer turned around, "I thought you were going to bother…I mean visit Kate and St. Lunatic,"

"Jack…Sawyer, his name is Jack," With that Chloe finally disappeared.

A burning smell started to fill the air. Sawyer looked down, sunlight from outside streamed onto the burning eggs. "Well shit, I done burnt the girl's eggs."

He scowled, "Shit."

Looking around he quickly tossed the eggs into the trash. He then brought the burning hot pan towards the sink and then washed it. Why the hell was he going to try to make the eggs over? It wasn't his fault, Chloe trusted him with the damn eggs. Seconds later, he placed the clean pot back on the stove.

"How the hell do I make eggs?"

* * *

Jack stretched, and then yawned. His arms rested on Kate beside him. He smiled. They had quite a night yesterday. First the kissed, then they argued, and then kind of made up. Jack wasn't too sure how Kate felt about him now, but he hoped they could put most of last night behind them. He sat up and then rested his elbow against the pillow as he watched her sleep. Kate was so beautiful. From the cute freckles sprinkled lightly across her face, to her button nose, and those eyes of hers. Jack smiled. He loved her beautiful green eyes. 

Kate's eyes slowly fluttered open.

Jack tried to look away, but Kate was too fast.

"I'm starting to get concerned about you," Kate sat up as well and then placed her hand against her cheek. Her long brown curly hair gracefully fell forward over her hand, and a lock caught her eye.

"You're concerned about me? That's an interesting role reversal." Jack smirked.

"Doctors are observant correct?"

"Correct,"

"Are you observing my behavior and trying to see if I am hiding something from you, or is it something else?"

"Something else," Jack replied. He pulled back the covers, and then blushed at the sight of his boxers.

Kate looked down, but Jack quickly pulled the sheets back up.

"Now is my turn to be observant, what are you hiding."

Jack bunched the sheets up towards him. How embarrassing.

Kate reached for the comforter that Jack had over his boxers, but he pulled back. "Why are you trying to look down there Kate?"

Kate couldn't help but laugh. Yesterday had been such an emotional day for her, and now that it was morning, a slight burden felt lifted off her shoulders. A cool Fall breeze drifted in from outside, and the sun beamed through the window. A delicate breeze swooped past her and Jack causing goose bumps to form along her back.

Kate made another attempt to grab the covers. "What do you mean Jack? Look down where, now is my turn to be suspicious,"

Jack slowly started to get up while holding the comforter towards him. "I'm a guy you know, these things happen." He smiled nervously.

"What things?"

"No need to go into that, I guess I'm going to shower."

"Me first," Kate watched as Jack turned away from her. She then took action by pulling the covers off of him, and towards her.

Jack placed his hands over his boxers quickly.

Kate had to blush herself.

"It has a mind of its own sometimes," He looked down with bright red cheeks. "I um…" He placed a hand to his forehead, and then turned to her. "You're not going to sleep with me anymore are you?"

"Huh?" Kate asked.

"Oh, I mean as in the same bed!" He quickly corrected.

Kate's eyes widened playfully.

"Shit," Jack groaned.

Kate nodded, "I got it Jack, are you embarrassed?"

"No," He lied.

Kate smiled, "Cute,"

* * *

Jack walked into the kitchen with a tee shirt, and the pajama pants Taylor had given him yesterday. A dark blue towel was wrapped around his neck. He watched in amusement as Sawyer cursed at some eggs on the stove. 

"Well damn, I burnt them again."

Jack laughed as he sat down, "You can't even cook eggs? Man, that's sad."

Sawyer turned around surprised that he had a guest. He scowled and then narrowed his eyes at Jack. "Like you know how to cook eggs Jacko,"

Jack chuckled, he relaxed his arm around the chair and then nodded confidently. "Actually Sawyer it's not that complicated of a concept."

"Then why don't ya cook em'?"

"Why should I do you any favors?" Jack asked but getting up anyways.

Sawyer stepped back. "Because I'm doin' you one."

"And what's that?" Jack threw away the second batch of burnt eggs. "By the way, you better figure out how you're going to buy Taylor some more groceries, because you're wasteful."

"Sorry Daddio, what comes next a lecture about all the poor kids in America without food to eat."

Jack nodded, "It should."

"Spare me the shit. Where is the baby doll?" Sawyer smirked at his latest nickname for Kate, "Or should I say where is the girl that looks like a baby doll, but sure ain't?"

Jack shrugged, "I don't know,"

"Please, you're practically married to her."

Jack glanced at Sawyer. Before he met Kate he had been scared of commitment, almost terrified of it, but not anymore. A thin smile crept across his face. Sawyer sounded jealous and he said that statement with venom. But so what, Kate did spend most of her time with him. Jack had to catch himself before he opened his mouth to gloat. He wasn't a gloating type of guy, but when it came to his relationship with Kate…no matter how complicated it was he was proud of it.

Sawyer handed Jack the carton of eggs. "I could have her if I wanted."

"Wash the pot," Jack replied handing Sawyer the pot that had survived two attempts at burnt eggs.

"Can I get a please?"

"Can I get a Thank you Jack, for helping me fix whoever's breakfast I screwed up."

"Damn high and mighty no good son of a bitch, wanna be hero, woman stealing…" Sawyer muttered under his breath loud enough for Jack to hear as he grabbed the pot.

"Hey Sawyer, I didn't quite hear that, can you say it a little louder?" Jack challenged.

Bitch. Sawyer thought angrily.

Jack smirked. "That's what I thought."

Sawyer quickly poured some dish detergent soap into the pot and then started to scrub with a brillo pad.

"Use some elbow grease," Jack added.

Sawyer grunted, "Want me to use some elbow grease on your face Jacko?"

"I want to see you try." Jack challenged even though he knew better than to fight with Sawyer in a house with two women and a little girl.

"What's going on in here?" Chloe asked strutting into the kitchen with her hands on her hips.

Jack backed away from Sawyer and then smiled back warmly at Chloe. "Morning Chloe, you're up early."

"I have no school, and I get to watch cartoons after I help my mommy clean and feed ya'll."

Sawyer tried to sneak the pot back towards the stove.

Chloe sighed, "Sawyer, you burnt the eggs?"

"I don't cook little girl what d'ya want from me?"

"I'm going to teach you one day." Chloe pulled her little stool back towards the stove and then hopped on. "Jack, Kate is out of the shower, you can get ready for the day."

Jack nodded.

"And give me your clothes, mommy said she's going to wash them, and then get you, Sawyer and Kate some new one's later tonight, after we go pumpkin picking."

Sawyer rolled his eyes, "How sweet, pumpkin pickin'."

Jack sighed in Sawyer's direction and then walked towards the bathroom.

"Don't burn them this time, I'm going to have to leave you again." Chloe said to Sawyer as she hopped off her stool once again and then pushed it to the side.

"Hey," Sawyer gently grabbed the little girl's arm. "Where are ya goin? I'm going to burn em' again."

"Sawyer, are you cooking?" Taylor asked coming into the kitchen.

Chloe smiled, "Mommy help him, he's hopeless."

With that she ran out of the kitchen. Taylor looked after her, and then focused her eyes back on Sawyer. "She thinks she knows everything in the world."

"I can tell, that's why I don't want kids."

Taylor took the wooden spoon from him. "I got it Sawyer, you can go ahead and go back to sleep or something."

Sawyer shook his head, "Couldn't if I tried."

"You okay,"

"Fine and Dandy."

"Dandy?"

Sawyer nodded, "Got a problem with that sweetheart?"

"No, I just…" Taylor grinned, "You're just not the _dandy_ type."

* * *

The hot water cascaded down Kate's face. She closed her eyes, and then opened her mouth slightly. The bathroom was blanketed in steam and it felt like a sauna. Turning around Kate reached for a bottle of Herbal Essences and then poured a small amount into her palm. She then started to work the lather into her damp hair. 

Jack.

No matter what she was going through every thought seemed to come back to him. Jack was incredibly handsome, and caring. If she told him about the accident a small part of her believed that he would help her through it. Sawyer was too guarded, and not too fond on sharing his emotions, so if she tried to lean on Sawyer, then she might feel worse than before. Her eyes slowly closed as she tried to imagine how the conversation with Jack would play out. What would she say? _Sawyer and I ran over a guy, who was a cop, and has a family somewhere out there that needs him_.

Kate sighed. Telling Jack was a bad idea. She was ashamed of how they handled the situation, and the last thing she wanted was for Jack to think she was a monster. After all he had believed it before, so his opinion could easily be swayed. Her eyes slowly opened. What if Jack was right and she was going through post-traumatic stress?

Her mood did change when she was around Jack, because he made her want to be happy. She wanted to let him know that she was interested, and besides Jack could easily pick up her burdened moods. So she tried to trick him. Smile in his face, when she didn't feel like smiling, but at the same time kind of did, because she loved him. Love was a strong word, but Kate knew in her heart that she loved Jack.

It was a miracle how he had taken down her walls. He still had a long way to go. But Jack had made progress, and that's what stunned her. He made her feel safe, even when she shouldn't, and when he kissed her, she felt as if she needed his kiss again, just to make her world feel perfect. Even though it was far from it.

The reason she was scared to be with Jack, was because she knew he deserved better. No matter how much she loved him, she knew she would never be able to fully give herself to him. It was all a matter of trust. Kate trusted Jack, but she didn't trust herself. She had already hurt him too many times to count, and if he followed after her then she knew she would hurt him again.

Kate placed her hand against the beige wall. Jack deserved a normal life, he deserved the white picket fence, a dog, kids, and a loving wife. Kate could never see herself having any of that. She sighed.

An image flashed into her mind, thankfully it wasn't of the accident but instead of her and Jack. When did she become such a hopeless romantic?

She saw herself leaning in to kiss Jack. There was a beach behind him, and they were both wearing leis. Kate couldn't help but smile, now here she was dreaming about them getting married in Hawaii.

Flash the dream disappeared. Blood stained her dress, the cops body was in her arms. Kate nearly screamed as she tried to shake the image. A shaking hand covered her mouth, and tears welled in her eyes. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to shake the image, but then she saw the water turning blood red. _It's all a dream. It's all a dream!_

* * *

"Why is the shower on?" Jack asked observantly. 

Chloe shrugged, "I dunno,"

Jack smiled, "I think Kate is still in there, I'm just going to wait until she gets out." He turned around and then started to walk towards the room, but Chloe ran over to him, and then crossed her arms.

"I forgot I turned on the shower for you." Chloe shook her head. "I wanted to make sure it was hot, because when it's cold outside I hate having to wait for the water to warm up so…it's hot."

"Where is Kate?" Jack asked.

Chloe pointed outside, "Taking a walk, she said she needed some air."

Jack nodded, that did sound like Kate. He glanced suspiciously at Chloe once more, and then allowed her to guide him towards the bathroom. He had an instinct to call out and see if Kate was actually in the shower, but he fought the urge because he didn't want Chloe to think he didn't trust her.

Chloe closed the door behind Jack after he was in.

Jack raised an eyebrow and then placed down his towel. He was tempted to peek in, but what if Kate was actually in there? He had already embarrassed himself this morning with a certain "rising" this morning. Jack blushed at the thought again. He didn't want Kate to think about that every time she looked at him from now on.

"Kate?" He whispered.

There was no response.

Okay, he was in the bathroom alone. Jack pulled off his shirt, and didn't pay any attention as it fell down next to Kate's clothes which were almost tucked behind the laundry basket. Next he pulled down the dreaded pajama pants. Jack was relieved to finally get out of them. He shook his head at his boxers, remembering once again what happened earlier this morning. The boxers came off seconds later.

Fog steamed the mirrors, and lingered in the bathroom like a sauna. Jack drew in a mouthful of air as he approached the shower. He could hear water pounding against the tub, but he heard nothing else. What if Kate was in the shower. Jack felt his heart skip a beat as he reached out to pull back the curtain, but then he drew back.

His eyes closed. If Kate was in the shower, then he should probably leave now. Jack turned around, and reached for the door. His hand lowered from the wet golden knob when he realized that he was naked. Jack laughed. "Keep on striking out today Shepard, and Kate's going to have a whole different opinion of you."

* * *

Kate turned off the shower. She didn't want to shower anymore. She just needed to get out, and find some way to focus on something else. Grabbing her towel from off of the counter she first dried her hair, and then wrapped the fluffy pink towel around her body. 

Kate closed her eyes once again. A leg coated with droplets of water slid out of the shower, and then rested on the tiled bathroom floor followed by another. Her hair was soaking wet and it hung down her back gracefully. Kate looked up, and her mouth dropped. Jack stood in front of her naked. He seemed shocked, and stunned.

Neither of them said anything. Kate tried not to look down, just because she was scared her eyes would drift elsewhere. She squinted in his direction, keeping her eyes fixed on his hazel ones.

Jack laughed embarrassed.

Kate laughed too. Why was she laughing now! How could she laugh after having such a horrid flashback.

Jack covered himself, and then reached around for his towel. "I am not making good impressions with you today am I?"

Kate placed her hand to her forehead, and then looked down. She was trying to shake her smile, but she couldn't. There was nothing funny about Jack, but he always made her smile. Never in a million years would she have guessed that she would have fallen so hard for a straight laced doctor. Kate looked back up, traces of her smile still remained. Jack blushed back at her. _An incredibly cute doctor._

Jack knotted the towel around his waist. Kate was smiling now, so did that mean she was okay? He was usually good at reading other people, but Kate was different. She liked to put up fronts, and he recognized most of them, but not all. His thoughts shifted as he looked back into Kate's eyes. He smiled, and she smiled back at him. Jack could tell that she was trying not to smile, but her attempts were failing.

"I'm sure you've seen enough of me today," Jack replied lightheartedly.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well I have been a little over exposed today, it's not usually my style, but I guess today is one of those off days."

Kate glanced at the doorknob. A part of her told her to dash out the door, so Jack could shower. He had a habit of turning her feelings for him into so much more when they were alone. Kate had to look away because the look he was giving her was intense. Did Jack even know that he was looking at her like that? Kate bit her lip, she was almost scared to look up, because she was tired of contradicting herself.

"I guess I'll move so you can um…" Jack scratched his head. His arm raised revealing the Chinese tattoos that Kate had always been so curious about. As Jack looked back at her, the knot on his towel loosened. "Shit," Jack groaned dropping his arm just in time to catch the towel as it drooped around his waist.

"Towel troubles?" Kate tossed in casually. Her voice sounded shakier than she planned.

Jack grabbed the towel and held it to his waist. With his free hand he gripped for the doorknob. He turned the knob but it didn't budge. Jack raised an eyebrow, but tried to keep his battle with the knob secret.

"Is it not opening?" Kate asked walking over to him.

Her shoulder grazed his chest. Her skin was soft, and he could smell her Herbal Essences shampoo from where he stood. Jack quickly shifted his thoughts back towards opening the door as Kate attempted. Seconds later she tapped on the door.

"Wait a second," Jack said.

Kate turned around, "Yeah?"

"I don't want Taylor to see us in the bathroom like this, I mean she opened her house to us, and I don't want her to think…"

"Right," Kate agreed. She glanced at Jack for answers since he usually had them, but this time he seemed unsure. "Well do you have any suggestions on how we can get out?"

"Wait until we hear Chloe walk by, after all she is the one that locked us in here," Jack said with a smirk.

"No she didn't?" Kate said with an unbelieving grin.

Jack rested his body against the sink. "She did,"

Kate thought it over, and then sat down against the edge of the tub. She crossed her legs, and then looked down at the navy blue mat draped against the tiles.

Jack opened the cabinet in the bathroom. "Too bad this is a woman's bathroom."

"Why?" Kate asked standing up with crossed arms. "Don't turn into Sawyer on me."

Jack shook his head, "I didn't mean anything by that…it's just I'm in need of a shaving and all Taylor has is…" Jack opened the cabinet wider and then squinted down at the bottle, "Peach and Mango Bonanza shaving gel, and pink razors."

"Let me guess you need Gillete?"

Jack nodded, "Right, and I also need a razor specially designed for a man. My skin gets irritated easily."

"Aww," Kate pouted.

Jack looked down, "I'm not complaining or anything…"

"Women's razors can work on men too, does she have any unused ones down there."

"The box is new," Jack said.

Kate walked over to Jack, she gently pushed him aside so she could get access to the cabinet. Her eyes scanned the shaving selection thoughtfully. "One razor," She grabbed one from the plastic coating. "Strawberry, Peach or Fun Berry?"

"Fun Berry?" Jack said with a snort.

Kate turned around to face him, "Fun Berry it is." She closed the cabinet and then stood up. Right now any distraction would do, and as long as she promised not to kiss Jack, then she wouldn't be contradicting herself. "Turn to me,"

"Why?"

Kate placed her hand on her hips. She felt a flashback coming on, but she quickly shook her head. The last thing she needed to do was go into hysterics while Jack's eyes were right on her. "Are you going to argue with me?"

"Why on earth would I argue with you after you've had such a rough night?" Jack said softly.

"My night was fine Jack,"

"You sure?"

"Doc, stop analyzing me." Kate replied.

Jack closed his mouth.

Kate smiled. "Gotcha,"

"I thought you were going to say I was smothering you again?"

Kate sighed exaggeratedly, "Oh god Jack, don't bring that up again." She then reached for the Fun Berry shaving cream and sprayed the foam into her hands. "It smells good,"

"It does, but can it get the job done?" Jack tested with an arched eyebrow.

"Shh," Kate reprimanded she placed one hand against Jack's face. His stubble tickled at her skin as she used the other hand to massage the lather onto his dark brown beard with the tiniest gray and blonde hairs mixed in.

"Are you going to shape me up?" He asked amused.

Kate nodded, "I'm going to prove to you that a women's razor is just as good as a man's."

Jack laughed.

Kate tilted her head to the side. "You'll see, now keep still before I accidentally cut you." She bit her lip. Cutting Jack wouldn't be good, even the smallest amount of blood could trigger a flashback.

Jack slightly raised his chin.

"Jack, work with me here, you're already taller than me,"

"Sorry," Jack rested his back against the sink and slid downwards a little so Kate could get better access to his facial hair. "Have you done this before,"

Kate gently glided the razor along Jack's cheek with an expression of uttermost concentration. "I shave my legs whenever I get the chance, I am a woman Jack."

"Not all women shave their legs,"

"This one does, contrary to my Fugitive lifestyle."

Jack smiled back at her. Kate leaned closer to him and then started to shave underneath his mouth. Her eyes traveled down to his lips.

Jack could tell that Kate was looking at his mouth. They hadn't kissed enough for his liking, but he had to put his emotions for her aside, at least for now. Jack looked down at the razor, which had stopped moving, and then back at Kate.

_Damn you Jack. Damn you. I shouldn't be focusing on this right now. On you, or your lips, or the towel which is hanging so loosely around your waist._

Jack reached for Kate's hand, and then guided the razor against his chin gently. Kate snapped out of it.

"Sorry,"

"No it's okay," He assured her in a shaky breath.

Kate reached in front of him to turn on the faucet, warm water rushed downwards onto the razor she held underneath. She gave the razor a shake and then brought it back to Jack's face.

"Have you ever thought about going to Germany?"

"Anywhere out of the U.S. has entertained my thoughts…why?" Kate tilted her head to the side so she could see underneath Jack's chin. When he didn't respond she paused to focus her eyes on his. "You asked me have I ever thought about going to Germany, why?"

Jack chuckled, "It's silly actually,"

"Probably not, just tell me."

"I had a dream that you and I were in Germany using aliases and living together. I told you it was dumb."

"So you seriously want to stay with me after we get out of the U.S.?"

"I wouldn't be dreaming about Germany if I didn't."

Kate smiled back at him. After she was finished shaving his face, she placed her hands against his waist, and turned him around towards the faucet. "Bend down,"

Jack laughed, "Are you going to search me now Kate,"

Kate smiled again, and then placed her hand against the back of Jack's head. She brought his face downwards towards the sink and then splashed warm water on his jaw and cheeks. Seconds later she turned off the faucet and then pulled Jack up by the shoulders. "Very handsome,"

He ran his hands along his shaven skin. "I guess you proved me wrong."

"That's not too hard to do with a man who thinks he is always right." Kate said softly.

"I think I'm usually right, unless we're talking about issues concerning you."

"You could be right," Kate said.

"Do you like me?"

Kate's mouth dropped, "C'mon Jack that's not fair,"

"It's a simple question, I promised myself that I would "behave" myself when it came to you, but I just had to know."

"I told you the answer to that already."

"I'm like a kid, I need reassurance,"

Kate placed her hand to her cheek, "I don't want to be in a relationship now,"

Jack sighed.

"But I do like you, I like you a lot."

Jack felt a smile coming on, but he quickly turned his back to Kate before she could see it. "It looks like we might be in here for a while,"

Kate knew it made sense to knock on the door and just explain to Taylor what happened, but she wasn't in a rush to leave, and she could tell by how Jack sat down on the ledge of the tub that he didn't want to leave either. She walked over to him and then pushed the shower curtain back so she could sit down next to him.

They sat like this for a while. Both of them lost in thoughts. Jack occasionally glanced at Kate from the corner of his eye. She was staring ahead thoughtfully, as she liked too do. Her hair hung down on her lightly freckled shoulders, and her hands were crossed in her lap. "I see you,"

"See me what?"

Kate squinted back at Jack, "I see you looking at me."

"I wasn't, I was checking out the…"

"My towel?" Kate joked.

Jack sighed, "It looks like I'm going to have to find another corner,"

Kate shook her head. "You know what my main problem with you is?"

Jack looked around, and then debated whether he should open his mouth or not. "What's that?"

"I know I shouldn't be happy during certain situations like this one, but you make me smile even when I shouldn't be, and that makes me feel odd. I feel as if I don't have control over my actions when you're around." Kate looked down, and then looked back at Jack.

"I wish you could see how many people I made smile before I met you."

"Oh I'm sure you were a comedian."

Jack laughed, "Patients complained about my bedside manner, I was the doctor that no one wanted, not because I wasn't a good doctor or anything but because I supposedly took away hopes, by being straightforward."

"I would want you to be my doctor,"

"I doubt it."

"Now?" Kate asked.

Jack paused and then shifted his eyes to Kate, "You would want me to be your doctor now?"

"If I didn't know you, and I got hurt, then yes,"

"I would still have crappy bedside manner,"

Kate smiled, "You would still be a grinch?"

"If I didn't meet you then yes, but I would still think that you're one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on." Jack replied. He cursed himself in his head, for coming onto Kate when he had promised to let it go for a while.

Kate tilted her head to the side. She looked sad briefly, and then her eyes fixed on Jack's. One kiss always made it better. As long as Jack knew that she didn't want to be in a relationship, what could one kiss do?

Jack gripped the edge of the tub with his hand. Kate was staring back at him, and her eyes on his was only adding to the smoldering temperatures in the bathroom. He used to be good at keeping promises, but how the hell could he resist Kate. Especially when she was so off and on, each chance he got to kiss her could be his last. But he couldn't.

"Has any woman ever told you that you're too good for _your_ own good." Kate brought herself closer to Jack. There was no reason in trying to understand her actions anymore. Jack made her feel good, he put her at ease, and as long as he didn't know what she had done, Kate knew she had his love. Why else would he ask her if she loved him, after she had already told him yesterday.

Jack leaned closer.

Kate reached out and then placed her hands against Jack's face. His skin was soft and smooth, and the smell of the shaving cream lingered to her nose. Just one kiss, one kiss wouldn't be leading him on.

Jack closed his eyes. His lips tingled at the thought of feeling Kate's soft and luscious lips against his own. He clenched his jaw. His mind was too active for his own good. Kate's hands gently stroked his face. Her hands were so soft, and his skin warmed at her touch. God, he wanted her so bad. How was it possible to have fallen so hard for Kate, when they were so different.

Jack opened his eyes. Kate was coming closer to him, she pressed her hands harder against his face. Her eyes fluttered close, and she allowed her hands to slip from Jack's face. Her hands ran along Jack's chest, stopped at his towel and then she brought her hands around his neck.

Jack couldn't take it anymore. He leaned forward, closer and closer until his lips were centimeters in front of Kate's. He could feel her breathing in shallow breaths. Jack opened his eyes, he saw her lips puckered outwards. She wanted him to kiss her, and he was going to do it.

Jack pressed his lips against hers. Kate completely gave in. Lips pushed against one another's they kissed. Jack opened his mouth wider, he was kissing Kate so hungrily. Her lips were as moist and soft as he expected. His heart pounded in his chest as he felt Kate's tongue invade his mouth. Jack loved her so much.

Kate was practically sitting in Jack's lap now. Her arms tightened around his neck. He turned his head to the side, and then his lips moved away from her own. Kate needed his safety net right now, one of her arms slid away from his neck.

Jack half-kissed Kate's mouth and her cheeks. His mouth has a mind of its own, her cheeks tasted like peaches. He breathed in the aroma of her hair, and then with shaky hands he ran his fingers through her hair. Soft, tangled curls dipped in chocolate gave way easily as he felt his path back towards her face.

Kate turned her face more towards Jack. His lips lost the taste of her cheek as she nuzzled her cute nose against his own. He let out a low groan as Kate kissed his jaw, cheek and then nose. Her hair fell forwards onto his bare shoulder.

He needed to feel her lips again, before she pulled away. Jack found Kate's lips. Temptation and longing had taken over his usually calm demeanor. Her lips grew still as he continued to occupy her mouth with his own. Jack feared rejection again, he feared Kate was going to grow cold once more and then tell him to get off of her.

But she didn't.

With every kiss, Jack felt himself starting to grow dizzy. Delirious off of her touch, her lips, the sweet scent of her. They both fell backwards into the tub. Legs hanging over the edge, towels still wrapped around their bodies, minds as far away from reality as possible, they gave into one another's desires.

Jack entwined his leg in Kate's. "What happens after this…"

Kate placed her mouth back over his. Every thought Jack was experiencing drifted from his subconscious. Kate wrapped her arms around Jack's waist and brought him closer to her. Not wanting to answer any of his questions, just needing to feel him as close as possible until reality set in once again.

Jack moved his lips away from her mouth. "We're in a tub,"

"I know," Kate whispered with a smile.

"Backwards," He said his breath tickling her ear. Jack then leaned forward to kiss her perfect earlobes.

Kate had found perfection in Jack. Only he could take her mind off of her guilt and angst, whenever she decided to let him into her world. And now that he was in, she wanted to keep him inside, let him know her worries, and confide in him, as he made her feel like she did deserve him. Perfect Jack.

"I love you," He whispered in her ear.

He knew that she loved him too, so she wasn't going to repeat it. Kate just wanted him to kiss her again, before anyone came in and saw them like this, or before she interrupted this moment with her guilt. As if Jack was telepathic, he brought his mouth back onto hers and captured her mouth in his.

He was determined. Jack was going to marry Kate. He was going to convince her that he loved her irregardless of what she had done in the past. Kate intoxicated him too much, to just let her go. Let her slip through his hands, and travel the world on her own.

Now wasn't the time to ask. Jack knew that she was going through a lot, so he would wait. As he continued to kiss Kate, he glanced down at his shirt which Kate had came back last night wearing. The ring was in the pocket. He was going to keep it until the time was right, to ask Kate to be with him forever.

* * *

Sunlight bounced off of the diamond. The precious ring was buried underneath golden leaves, and covered with mud. He looked around. They must have dropped it last night. Dropping down he plucked the ring from the mud, and then kissed the shimmering jewel incased in the gold band. The ring belonged to him now, and if they wanted it back, they would have to come and get it. But surely they weren't that stupid…. 

(Thanks so much everyone for reviewing last chapter...I can't help but get carried away a little with Jack and Kate, Kate's just going through a lot and I think she needs a "Jack break" from time to time. And Jack definitely needsa "Kate break"

**XxLauraxX**- This guy is just a case of wrong place, wrong time. He's crazy though, but I'm not going to talk about him too much until I am ready for him to act. Poor Jack, Kate and Sawyer they never get a break.

**Cohen101**- Sawyer didn't do anything to the hot choc. he was just playing around. Your idea was funny though, if he did something I believe it would be that.

**Oct**- Ya'll is right, I come from the south too, so I should know that...lol

**Lindsay**- I enjoy those moments too...so I try to sneak some in whenever I can...kinda like this chapter.

**NYR88**- That's okay, but thank you so much for the compliment. I think you're a great writer as well.

**Orlando-crazy**- Nope not tha Marshal, but the Marshal is still very much in this story along with Sawyer's "mafia" friends, they're just on vacation, and leaving their jobs in the hands of this "crazy North Carolina woods guy" for the time being...lol.

**Delee**- Pointless no way! And sry not Boone...at least not in this story. Taylor's ex that is a good idea though, but I don't think she would date "crazy men"...that walk around woods with rifles...very good guess though.

Also thank you's to **Kballgetlost, Charlielover1313, Nikki-da-latina, Angel, Clarkson04**

I'll update next Monday...because college is a NIGHTMARE this semester with work and all...so until then, everyone take care, and thanks again.)


	5. Come Clean

Chapter 5- Come Clean

Kate sat down at the kitchen table. It was night now, and kissing Jack in the bathroom earlier was still fresh in her mind. She closed her eyes and smiled at the thought of how warm his lips had been. Despite her current dilemma she was amazed at how easily Jack's kisses eased her worries. Jack had helped her to forget everything, and she wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

Kate sighed and then leaned forward on the table. Jack was asleep now, and Taylor, Sawyer and Chloe had went out to look for pumpkins. Taylor liked to cook and she had told Kate that she was making pumpkin pie with dinner tonight.

The window was open and the smell of burning firewood drifted towards her nose. The outside air was crisp, and perfect for a cup of hot chocolate. Kate stood up and walked towards the cabinets, her bare feet trailed along the cold linoleum on the floor. She hated being alone, and she didn't realize that until she had Jack and Sawyer to keep her company.

"Amazing how much can change in a couple of months," She said to herself. Kate rummaged around for some hot chocolate, and as she did a smile crossed her face at the thought of Sawyer and the three big marshmallows that he had put in her cup last time. Seconds later her eyes rested on the box of hot cocoa, she stood on tippee toe to pull it out, and then rested it down on the counter. Outside Taylor's truck pulled back into the driveway. Kate smiled as she watched Chloe jump out of the vehicle in a jacket, and brown moccasins, Taylor killed the engine and came out shortly afterwards. She had two big bags of what Kate assumed to be clothes in her hands. Sawyer was the last one out, and he was gingerly carrying two pumpkins.

Kate smiled again.

There was a series of small knocks at the door, and then Chloe called, "Open up Kate and Jack, trick or treat,"

Kate stopped rummaging through the boxes and then walked towards the door. She opened it for Chloe and then patted her on the head. "Hey,"

Chloe hugged Kate, "I missed you, where is Jack?"

Kate felt awkward receiving a hug from Chloe, and also the "I missed you" comment through her for a loop. She wasn't used to being hugged or being missed…with the exception of Jack, and maybe Sawyer, so this was new.

Her eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes as Chloe pulled away. The little girl then skipped through the house, "Jack, we have pumpkins!"

Taylor and Sawyer came in afterwards.

"Did anyone call?" She asked handing Kate a bag full of clothes.

Kate nodded, "Cecile?"

Sawyer's eyes widened and he stared back at Kate in shock. "You answered the phone Freckles?"

"C'mon Sawyer, don't be ridiculous. There is such a thing as caller-ID," Kate replied.

Sawyer closed the door behind him, and then watched as Taylor walked into the kitchen to check her messages. "Whenever we get some money we gotta help Taylor out."

Kate couldn't believe the words that just spilt out of Sawyer's mouth. So a part of him did care about someone besides himself. Exactly as she thought.

"Don't look at me all golly eyed, I just said that…"

"I know I heard you," Kate confirmed. She looked down at the pumpkins in Sawyer's hand, and then took one. "How are you?"

"Good," He said.

"Thanks for the hot chocolate yesterday, and by the way I know you didn't do anything to Jack's."

Sawyer trudged towards the kitchen. "How do you know that?"

"I just have a feeling that you didn't." Kate followed after him into the kitchen and then sat down the pumpkin on the table.

Chloe turned on some Cyndi Lauper in the background and then started to dance.

"That little girl is crazy," Sawyer muttered.

Kate smiled. "She's young, let her have fun."

Sawyer looked down at the table. His hair fell in his eyes. "I want a beer,"

Kate wasn't sure where this was coming from so she just gave him an odd look. "Are you trying to get hammered again as badly as you were that night in the woods?"

Sawyer looked up and then shifted in his seat. "I'm not an emotional kind of guy sweetheart, so I don't like feelin responsible for…" He paused and then looked away solemnly.

"Feeling responsible for what?"

Sawyer bit his lip. "Worrying about other people isn't my style, so I don't want to worry about you anymore."

His words stung, Kate closed her eyes and looked down.

"I want to hate you as much as I hate Jack…"

She opened her eyes and then stared back at him accusingly, "How dare you,"

"But I don't hate you Freckles, and I don't hate him either…" Sawyer smiled to himself, he flashed his dimples quickly and then cast his blue eyes back at Kate. He was trying to appear nonchalant but she could see the sadness. "The person I really hate is myself."

"Sawyer…"

He chuckled to himself, "I know Freckles, what do I expect you to say. These days my head hasn't been on too straight, I've been rambling and talking shit. Falling off bridges, hearing voices in the woods. I think all these years of runnin' from myself is finally catching up." His eyes widened and then he lowered his voice. "You ain't the monster sweet cheeks so you can get that idea out of your head."

Kate placed her hand against her forehead and then leaned forward.

"Maybe I should ask for an appointment with the Doc, surely the savior can save me." Sawyer tapped his hands along the table, and then looked back at Kate. He hadn't meant to let his thoughts slip out. But he felt guilty that she was having nightmares on the account of him. He was the murderer and whether Kate was with Jack or not, she didn't deserve his burden. "I was just kidding about the Doc part, so don't go scheduling me an appointment,"

Kate winced as she tried to find the right words to say to Sawyer. He had never been this open with her before, and she wasn't sure why he choose now in order to tell her how he felt. This wasn't Sawyer's style, and it made her sad to hear him say that he hated himself.

"I just thought you should know the truth, before ya went on blaming yourself."

He moved to get up, but Kate promptly grabbed onto his sleeve. "Jack and I don't hate you if that's what you think."

"I don't give a damn to tell you the truth sassafrass,"

"Yes you do Sawyer, if you didn't then why would you be opening up to me,"

"Maybe because I'm drunk,"

"No you're not."

Sawyer reached in his pocket and then pulled out a small bottle of vodka, "Yeah, I'm drunk."

"It takes more than one measly bottle to get you drunk,"

"I had a couple of these bottles, now stop questioning me before you start sounding like Jack…yeah Dear old Doc where is he by the way?"

Kate stood up, "He's sleeping,"

"He should be pretty happy with himself," Sawyer mumbled.

Kate took the small bottle of vodka away from him, "No more,"

"Give it back,"

"No," Kate shot back stubbornly.

Sawyer clenched his jaw and then stared back at her in anger. His eyes bore a hole into her. "Gimme it back Freckles,"

Jack walked into the room with Sawyer and Kate. He raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Is everything okay Kate?"

Kate slowly nodded, "Yeah, we're good Jack,"

Jack dangled Taylor's keys in his hands. "Kate will you come with me for a little bit?"

"Where are we going?" Kate asked.

Jack shrugged, "Um…you'll see."

Sawyer glanced at Jack, and then at Kate. "Give me back my bottle," He reached for Kate's hand and then snatched the complimentary bottle out of her grasp.

Her mouth dropped as she looked back at the brooding figure in front of her. Sawyer looked down, and then back at Jack. "She's all yours, make sure the Marshals don't get her,"

"Sawyer!" Kate yelled.

"Kate, keep you're voice down," Jack advised quickly going over to her, and then resting his hand on her arm. He then turned around to face Sawyer, "What's going on here?"

Sawyer walked back over to them, "Why don't you tell him Kate, because I know you're dying too, tell him what _I_ did."

"Sawyer!" She screamed again with tears in her eyes.

Jack's eyes widened as he looked back at Kate. He slipped his hand around her arm protectively, and then motioned for Sawyer to follow them inside. "We all need to talk."

"I don't need to talk to you," Sawyer spat.

Taylor stepped into the room with them, an expression of concern was stretched across her face. "Is everything okay?"

"We're fine, we just need to talk," Jack said.

"No, _they_ need to talk." Sawyer corrected as he stalked towards the back.

Jack followed after Sawyer and then grabbed his arm. "We all need to talk, don't make me repeat myself. Outside Sawyer now,"

Sawyer yanked his arm out of Jack's grasp and then pushed him back words. "Get your fcking hands off me boy, you ain't my daddy."

Jack clenched his jaw, and then took in a deep breath. He looked down and then ran his hands over his short brown hair as he struggled to calm himself. "Could you stop arguing with me,"

Sawyer crossed his arms, "I could ask you the same question Jackass,"

"Let's just go outside and talk," Kate suggested as she looked over at Taylor. She walked over to Jack and Sawyer, and then reached out for the sleeves of both of their shirts. "We're sorry Taylor,"

"No it's okay, I just came in to check up, because I don't want Chloe to hear ya'll arguing."

"We'll go outside," Kate replied. She tugged on Jack and Sawyer's shirt leading them outside. Sawyer reached for her hand and then forced her to let him go, while Jack continued to let Kate lead him.

After they were outside, Kate walked a little ways into the woods. She stopped when they were far enough in, where Chloe and Taylor couldn't see them, and then turned around to face Jack and Sawyer.

Sawyer stared back at Jack angrily, his nostrils were flared and he seemed like he was seconds away from attacking Jack, seeing this Kate quickly stepped in between them.

"Sawyer, why don't you tell me what's going on?" Jack asked.

"I don't have to tell you shit."

Jack glanced at Kate, and then his expression hardened when he focused back on Sawyer. "Actually you do, I don't know what happened that night you and Kate went to get rid of the truck, but something did, and you're going to tell me what it was."

"Why don't you ask your girlfriend." Sawyer snapped.

Kate raised her chin as she looked back at Sawyer in hurt. Sawyer's eyebrows lowered over his eyes, and he turned away.

"Kate, tell me what happened." Jack focused his complete attention on her, and then placed his hands on her shoulders.

Kate tried to avoid Jack's piercing eyes, but he was staring at her to intent on the truth for her to lie. Jack held onto her a little tighter, and then used one hand to place underneath her chin. "Kate, what did Sawyer do,"

"What the hell do you mean! What did I do! You don't know that I…"

"Shut up!" Jack yelled pointing a finger at him.

Sawyer walked over to Jack, and then clenched his fists, "Want to say that to me again, d'ya want to tell me to shut up again."

Kate started to shake with anxiety, as she watched Sawyer approach an already timid Jack. Tears welled in her eyes at the thought of finally having to tell Jack the truth. She should've known that it was inevitable, Jack was going to hate her after it all came out. "Wait!"

Sawyer stopped where he stood, and Jack turned back towards Kate.

"Jack…" She looked down at his hands on her shaking shoulders, and then pulled his hands away. "When we left that night…" Tears started to well in her eyes, as she paused to wipe at her mouth with the back of her hand.

Sawyer clenched his jaw, and watched Kate with difficulty.

"What happened!" Jack yelled back at Sawyer.

Sawyer was unable to speak, so he just stood there and watched as Kate explained the situation with difficulty. With every word she spoke, a sob followed afterwards. The tears were falling like rain down her cheeks, and it was more apparent than ever that she had been through a lot. Sawyer needed a cigarette right now, but he didn't have any on him, so he reached in his pocket for one of the mini vodka bottles that he had smuggled earlier, but he had drunk them all.

Kate collapsed into Jack's arms. Her hands griped at his shirt as she cried. "I'm such a horrible person."

"No," Jack said quickly in her ear.

"You don't know what I did, you don't know…" Kate tried to push Jack away, but he held onto her tightly. She started to fall from his arms, but he held onto her still. Jack stumbled backwards as Kate tried to push him away again.

"Just let me go!"

"No," As Jack struggled with her he passed murderous glances back at Sawyer. "You did this to her? Whatever you made her keep from me is tearing her apart inside, You see what the hell you did to her!" Jack accused.

"Sawyer didn't…" Kate stopped fighting Jack, and then buried her face in his shirt. She beat against his chest with her fists, and then let it all out. "We hit a man with Taylor's truck, we hit him, and I tried to save him." She fell backwards once again, Jack lunged forward to catch her before she hit the ground.

Jack knew that Kate was having a breakdown, and whatever she had been holding inside of her was coming out.

"I tried so hard to save him, there was just so much blood…and Oh god…" She clamped her hands over her mouth and then rested her head against Jack's shirt again.

Jack and Kate fell to the ground.

"I didn't want you to know, because I thought you would hate me…" She wiggled out of Jack's grasp and fell forwards onto the ground. Mud stained Kate's hands as she struggled to get up. Jack pulled her back into his arms.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" She screamed.

Jack turned away from Kate, rage had engulfed him as he looked back at Sawyer's nonchalant expression. He stood up, his fists were clenched, and a murderous expression was stretched across his face. "You knew about this the whole time, and you didn't think I should know?"

"I don't have to report everything to…"

Jack rammed his hands into Sawyer's chest and pushed him back aggressively. "Look at Kate!"

"I see her," Sawyer growled staring back at Jack daringly. It did tear him up inside to see Kate like this, but she wasn't his responsibility, she was Jack's.

"You did this to her, you son of a bitch!" Jack pushed Sawyer again.

Sawyer snapped his neck in Jack's direction. "Lay your hands on me one more time boy and I'll kill you!"

"Right because you're the murderer!" Jack yelled.

Kate cried even harder. She struggled to force herself up, but she collapsed back onto the ground.

"I'm the murderer huh, and what makes you any different from me, If I remember correctly you got blood on your hands too."

Jack slammed into Sawyer. They both fell onto the damp ground.

"I got blood on my hands from trying to save your life!" He yelled with anger.

"Get offa me!" Sawyer wrapped his hands around Jack's neck, and then forced Jack onto the ground. Sawyer took advantage of the situation as Jack tried to steady himself. He released his grip from around Jack's neck and then started to hammer his fist into Jack's face. Jack groaned in pain, but Sawyer continued to let him have it.

Kate forced herself up. "Stop!" She screamed.

Sawyer couldn't hear her. Anger and pain was rushing through his veins. He never meant to hurt Kate, and he never intended to kill that man. But Jack always did this, the _hero, _always made him out to be a monster. Satisfaction crept through his tortured soul as he watched blood start to fall from Jack's nose. Every fist that connected with Jack's face, sent feelings of relief and satisfaction through his body. Like everyone else in the world, Jack belittled him, and he was tired of it.

Kate screamed. She quickly grabbed onto Sawyer's arms and tried to stop him from hitting Jack.

As Kate held onto him, Sawyer suddenly snapped back into reality. He had lost himself momentarily. His mouth dropped, and he looked down at his hands. Sawyer swallowed down a wad of nervousness.

Kate tried to pull Sawyer off of Jack, but before she could Jack shot up. He grabbed Sawyer by the shoulders and threw him backwards. Kate was thrown off her feet, and she fell hard on the ground.

"You let Kate take on all your problems!" He yelled. Tears welled in Jack's eyes as he held Sawyer down on the ground. "Why would you do that to her, why you fcking bastard!"

"Get the F…"

Before Sawyer could finish Jack slammed his fist into Sawyer's jaw. Sawyer's head twisted to the right, and blood spilled out of his mouth.

Jack grabbed him by his shirt, and then slammed him down roughly on the ground. "You can bring yourself down on your own, but don't drag Kate down with you!" He hollered.

Sawyer jammed his knee into Jack's stomach, and then turned over on his side so he could push himself up. "I never meant to hurt her, I would never…"

Jack fell backwards clutching his stomach in pain, he was about to fight Sawyer again, but Kate promptly ran over to him. "Stop!" She screamed.

Jack closed his eyes, and tried to mentally calm himself down. His clothes were now coated in mud.

Kate's eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes as she looked back at them.

Jack glanced at Sawyer's bloody face, and then at his eye which was starting to turn purple. Jack placed his hand against his forehead, and then tried once again to forget everything that had happened in the last fifteen minutes.

With trembling hands Kate traced her hands along his jaw, "You're bleeding, we have to clean you up." She said. Kate tried to pull Jack up, but he was too heavy. "Jack could you help me out," As he started to stand up, Kate wiped away at her tears. She then turned around to face Sawyer who was just standing their. "Sawyer,"

"Help him." Sawyer scowled.

Jack held his hand underneath his nose as blood started to gush out.

Kate felt her stomach grow squeamish at the sight. She closed her eyes in horror, and tried to erase the image of all the blood Jack was loosing. He was fine, but still. Kate placed her hand against Jack's chest as she felt herself to grow dizzy.

Jack caught her in his arms as she passed out.

Sawyer spat on the ground, and then turned around to head back into the house. His fists were clenched and his expression read one of infuriation. Taylor greeted him at the door. Her mouth dropped and she placed her hand over her mouth.

"Oh migod Sawyer!"

"I'm fine, I just got…Don't worry about it." He growled walking towards the bathroom, hoping that she wouldn't follow after him, but of course she followed after him anyways.

"I'm fine," He said reaching for the door. Sawyer winced at the pain that surged through his jaw. His skin felt raw and bruised, and his lip was bust open. Sawyer gingerly licked at the blood falling from his cut, and then turned around to face Taylor. "Just leave me alone."

"No," She stepped into the bathroom, and then pulled him inside. Concern covered her face as she stared back at Sawyer. She reached forward and then pulled his hair out of his eyes.

"I'm fine,"

"You're bleeding, cut and bruised, you're not fine, and you can holler as much as you want too, but I am not leaving until I clean you up."

"What about the kid, ya don't want her getting ideas."

Taylor shook her head, "You like to chase people away Sawyer, and that might work on someone that doesn't know you," She bent down to grab some hydrogen peroxide from the cabinet, and a cotton ball. "Listen to me Sawyer,"

Sawyer looked away, "You made a mistake by letting us into your house,"

"No, I didn't." Taylor placed her hand underneath Sawyer's chin and then poured some of the peroxide into the cotton ball. "This might hurt a little bit."

"I can clean up my own damn wounds…"

Before he could finish Taylor placed the cotton ball against his lip. He cringed at the stinging sensation.

"I told you it was going to sting." She said softly.

Sawyer opened his eyes. He groaned at how sensitive his swollen eye was to the light. "I'm telling you I can take care of myself,"

Taylor smiled back at him as she tossed the cotton ball into the trash and then grabbed another one.

"Dontcha wanna know why the bastard punched me,"

"Jack's not a bastard," Taylor said quietly.

"Are you on his side too,"

Taylor tilted Sawyer's head to the right, "I'm not choosing sides, I just think you and Jack have a misunderstanding, and…"

"Woman…"

"_Sawyer_, I'm not suggesting that you become best-friends with Jack, but I am suggesting that you try to get along with him, for all of our sakes,"

Sawyer remained silent.

"At least you're off the hook, after I finish cleaning you up, you can go ahead and shower, Chloe and I will finish making the pumpkin pie, and I'll save you a slice and some iced tea,"

"I don't want no pumpkin pie."

"Look at me Sawyer." Taylor gave him a half smile and then brought the cotton ball up to his swollen eye. "Pumpkin pie and iced tea cures a broken heart at least in my book."

"My heart ain't broken."

"Then smile for me."

"I don't wanna."

Taylor hugged Sawyer. "You have a beautiful smile, and I like it better than your permanent scowl."

Sawyer placed his hand on Taylor's lower back, and for a quick second closed his eyes. His cheek brushed against her golden locks, and he smiled briefly.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Jack asked sitting down on the porch next to Kate. 

"I'm fine," Kate rested her hand against her cheek, and then looked out at the darkened night. Leaves rustled gently in the breeze, and high in the sky a series of constellations illuminated the southern sky. "Are _you_ okay?"

"I didn't mean to attack Sawyer like that, but I…" Jack clenched his jaw, and then sighed. "I couldn't understand how he could be okay with you carrying his burden."

Kate shook her head, "He's not that bad Jack,"

Jack rested his arm against the porch rail, and then looked down at his muddy hands. He wasn't bleeding as much as before, but he still felt blood trickling from his cuts. "I'm going to go inside and get cleaned up, and try not to get in round two with Sawyer,"

"Sawyer never intended to hurt me, it wasn't his fault that I reacted the way I did."

"He ran over a guy Kate,"

Kate closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Jack whispered after he realized that his statement brought back negative flashbacks. "I just wish you told me earlier so we could deal with this together,"

"I didn't think you would want to _deal_ with this together, because of the person you are."

"I've changed, at least the part of me that doesn't trust you. I don't blame you for what happened, and I'm not going to even ask about the details, all that matters is that you are okay."

Kate sighed, "I want to talk about it though sometime."

Jack waited, he looked down at her, and then gave her a nod. "I'm here whenever you're ready."

"I'm not ready to talk about it now though, but when I'm ready I'll let you know." Kate bit her lip and then shoved her hands in the pockets of her denim jeans. "But I did want to talk to you about Sawyer."

"I'm not sure if I want to talk about him,"

Kate brushed a leaf off of Jack's shirt, and then thought over what she was going to say. When the right words came to mind Kate looked back at Jack. "I know you and Sawyer don't exactly see eye to eye, but I care about him, and I want to see him get through this with is. He's not as bad as he plays himself out to be."

"Well he has yet to show that to me," Jack huffed.

"Sawyer's had a rough life, and the only way he knows how to deal is through anger and comedy, I've seen inside him, and there's pain there, I understand where he's coming from."

"I don't hate him, I just don't appreciate the fact that he allowed you to suffer."

"Sawyer didn't allow me to suffer, he tried to reach me in his own way, but the truth is Jack, he is suffering as much as I am. And I didn't realize that until today. I love Sawyer…"

Jack closed his eyes.

"Not like I love you. Sawyer is like a brother to me, we fight and argue until we'll blue in the face, but deep down there is something there. I know he would protect me, and I think I'm being bold by saying this, but I think he would even put his life on the line for me."

"I would too," Jack spoke up.  
Kate wiped away at the last of the tears that formed on her face. "I know you

would and that's why I am in love with you. But I love you differently, I care about you as much as Sawyer, but I…" Kate sighed, "I actually _love_ you, and I didn't realize that until…" Kate closed her eyes.

Jack reached for her hands, and then leaned closer, "Until what?"

"I realized that I loved you when you didn't turn your back on me after finding out what Sawyer and I had been hiding from you."

Jack answered Kate by pulling her into his arms. She started to cry again. "We're going to get through this together, you, me…and Sawyer,"

(Thanks everyone for reviewing last chapter, Midterms are this week so I might update again next Monday, or maybe sooner.

Jillian- Not related, but he does have an eerie linking to Kate's past, and Cohen 101- Jack has no idea that Kate had the ring, and he doesn't even know it's missing now.)


	6. Tragedies of the Heart

I don't own "Lost" or the characters used in this story, I also don't own "Hallelujah" which belongs to Jeff Buckley.

Chapter 6- Tragedies of the Heart

"This is for you Kate," Jack said sitting down next to her.

Kate turned away from the burning embers in the fireplace and then forced a smile in Jack's direction. She couldn't understand how he could be so warm to her, after she had just confessed what had happened that night with Sawyer. Kate searched Jack's hazel eyes for any signs of forced kindness, but it seemed as if he was sincere. She then looked away from his face, and then focused on the dark orange journal in his hand.

"This is for you," He repeated softly.

"Oh," Kate raised an eyebrow but took the bound journal anyways. She rested it in her lap, and then traced along the cover with her hands. "What is this for?"

"Reflections, thoughts, and worries," Jack said. He lowered himself downwards and sat across from Kate. "You've been through a lot these last couple of days,"

Kate continued to look down as warmth radiated from the crackling fire in the hearth. "I don't understand why you're not mad at me."

"Why would I be mad at you? Because you didn't tell me?"

"No, it's not that, it's just…" Kate placed her hand against her cheek, and looked down at the dark red bricks that made up the fireplace. She let out a sigh, and then turned back to Jack. "Death is a big deal…at least for you it is."

Jack shook his head, "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to Kate."

"The guy was a cop," She confessed.

Jack flinched, but he didn't say anything. Sawyer had killed a cop. That definitely wasn't helping their situation. A part of him was tempted to drill Kate and find out every detail of what happened that night, but then again he loved her too much. As Jack watched the soft yellow and orange lights flicker off her features, he couldn't help but adore her.

"I thought the journal might be helpful," Jack said placing his hand on the small book.

Kate looked down at his hand, and then back at him. "You and Sawyer got in a bad fight, I'm sorry I wasn't able to jump in."

Jack smiled, "I can handle my own battles,"

"I know, but I think I've been in more fights than you." Kate smiled to herself. Her smile was small, but it was true. She opened the book, and then raised an eyebrow at the neat handwriting scribbled on the first page. "Did you write this?"

Jack nodded, he stretched out his legs and then placed his hands on the carpet. "It's a letter to you, I hope you don't mind if I stole the first page."

"Not at all," Kate closed the book. "I'll read it later, I'm sick of falling apart right in front of you and Sawyer,"

"It's okay to let it out sometimes Kate, especially when you're going through so much, no one's judging you here."

"I just hate crying, but I seem to do it a lot." Kate shrugged, and then placed the journal down on the floor. "I'm a fugitive, I'm not supposed to cry."

Jack chuckled, "Is there some rule book on how to be a proper fugitive that I don't know about?"  
Kate gave Jack a half smile, "I wish,"

"Taylor told me to tell you that the pumpkin pie is almost ready, so whenever you're ready we can go and get some."

Kate nodded in appreciation. "She's too kind, I'm sure she suspects that we are in trouble with the law, but she doesn't even bother to ask."

"Maybe she doesn't want to know." Jack responded.

Kate sighed, and then nodded back in agreement. "And it doesn't hurt that she has a thing for Sawyer,"

Jack grimaced, but kept all negative Sawyer related comments to himself. "I've been meaning to ask you something,"

"Go ahead,"

Jack rested his back against the bricks that made up the fireplace. His eyes traveled down to the purple throw pillow Kate was sitting on, and then he started to play around with the woven strings on the edges. He was fidgeting, because he was nervous. Jack didn't usually fidget, but Kate had unexplainable effects on him. He looked up and opened his mouth to speak, but his words got caught in his throat. Kate's olive eyes were glowing, and her skin shined with a bronze like tint from the fire. Jack didn't ever think he would get used to her beauty.

"What is it?" Kate asked sitting up. She gave Jack a diminutive smile. "Did you just realize there is a warrant out for my arrest, and I am claimed to be armed and dangerous?"

"There probably is a warrant out for my arrest too by now, but no, that's not it." Jack reached out for Kate's slender hand. Her skin was soft and warm to the touch. "I was looking for something, and I can't seem to find it."

"You're sanity? Because if that's what you're looking for them it might be hiding with mine."

Jack ran his thumb over Kate's hand, "No, I was looking for Sarah's ring."

Kate narrowed her eyes at Jack curiously. "What do you mean looking for it? Is it lost?"

Jack shrugged, and then opened his mouth to respond. He thought it over, and then nodded. "I think so,"

"Where was the last place you had it?"

"My shirt, it was in the pocket." Jack stated.

Kate pulled Jack closer to her by his shirt. Jack held his breath as Kate "man handled" him, which he surprisingly didn't mind. She tugged a little harder, and his top button opened. Jack was tempted to ask what she was doing, but if she was going to kiss him, he definitely wasn't stopping her.

Kate slipped her hand into the pocket of Jack's shirt, by his chest. No ring? She promptly searched the other pocket, and then she gripped the fabric in her hand.

Jack smirked. It was beyond crazy to him that all he wanted to do was kiss Kate, despite the confession she had just revealed to him. He had obviously changed a lot since Kate and Sawyer held him "hostage" back in May.

"Is this the shirt that you put the ring in?" Kate asked with wide eyes. She felt his pockets once again, and inevitably him in the process.

Jack couldn't help but notice how vested Kate's interest had suddenly become in finding the ring. It was as if she knew that he wanted to propose to her when the time was right. In all actuality, Jack didn't want her to have Sarah's ring, because Kate deserved her own ring, but for now, until Jack could afford a new ring for Kate, Sarah's would have to do.

"It's not in your pockets?" Kate leaned forward. Her thick auburn tresses fell forward in delicate curls as she slipped her hands into the pockets of Jack's jeans, which Taylor had bought earlier.

Jack tried not to look down at Kate, so close to him. He felt her hands glide against his leg through the fabric. He clenched his jaw, as he felt his body start to respond. Suspiciously Jack wrapped his hand around Kate's arm, and then pulled her hand out of his pocket. His cheeks were an embarrassing shade of crimson, and he could barely contain his nervous smile.

"I'm sorry, I just can't believe you lost it. We have to retrace your steps, and…" Kate looked around the dark den covered in shadows and then back at Jack. "What shirt were you wearing?"

"The one you came back in the other day."

Kate's mouth dropped, "The ring was in that pocket?"

"Yeah, but maybe it fell out before you left." Jack rubbed at his forehead, "Well I hope it fell out."

Kate bit her lip and then looked down at Jack's shaking hands. Her eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes, and then she reached for his hands. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just…" Jack found his eyes looking everywhere but at Kate. He noticed that it was raining lightly outside, and the moonlight was shining through the window, and whether he wanted to realize it or not Kate's eyes were on him. If only he could understand why Kate made him so flustered, then maybe he could control it. Jack shook his head, he had been around plenty of beautiful women before, but something about Kate was different.

Kate placed her hand on his. "Is the accident starting to sink in?"

"Remember I'm not bringing that up until you're ready." Jack pointed out. He glanced up, and watched as her eyes watered.

"Crying again…"

Kate turned her head in disgust.

"But it's okay, because you have reason to." Jack added softly. He had managed to control his shaking hands, so he reached out for Kate's shoulder, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Kate smiled, "Thanks for the journal, I think it might come in handy."

Jack nodded, "Thank Taylor,"

"Does Sawyer get one?"

Jack smirked, "Yeah, his has and angry tiger on it, with its claws out."

Kate giggled, and then covered her mouth. She placed her head against her raised knee, and tried to shake the image. "I already know the first thing I'm going to write about."

Jack was tempted to ask, but instead he just concentrated on the fire.

"Don't you want to know what I'm going to write about?" Her tone was somewhat playful but yet saddened at the same time.

"Escaping to the Netherlands, Australia, or my personal favorite Germany?"

"What's in Germany?" Kate asked thoughtfully.

A smile tugged at the corners of Jack's mouth. "Good times…or at least good dreams."

Kate's smile widened.

Jack's eyes crinkled at the corners as he beamed back at her. "So what are you going to write about?"

"Somebody that make's me smile."

Fire swayed and danced in the fireplace, and the wind whistled as branches scraped against the window.

The electricity that surged through Kate and Jack as they stared deep into one another's eyes was undeniable, and after a while Kate had to look down.

Jack returned back to his senses seconds later and then took in a deep breath. "I didn't mean to stare you down."

"It's okay," Kate grabbed her journal and then stood up. She looked down at Jack who was looking back up at her. A smile formed on her face, at how adorable he looked. "Do you need some help?"

"I think I can manage,"

Kate shifted the journal underneath her arm, and then held her hands out. "Believe it or not, I'm a pretty tough girl, I think I could take you."

Jack was happy to see her smile, so he held his hand outwards. Kate wrapped her hands inside of his, and then pulled him up towards her.

"Thanks for the lift."

Kate nodded, and then looked up at Jack. "We have to find Sarah's ring."

"Thanks Kate, I didn't think anyone would care except for me."

"Why wouldn't I care?" Kate asked in surprise.

Jack shrugged, "It's just been sitting around with no real purpose, unless you see a purpose for it…at least for the time being."

Kate would never admit that she wanted to hold the ring for Jack, and pretend that it was her own. She knew it was foolish, but then again she didn't care. "When we find it, I can hold onto it for you…"

Jack grinned.

Kate blushed, she quickly focused her attention on her the journal in her hand. "I'm just going to hold onto it so you don't lose it,"

Jack reached for something around his neck. Kate watched as he unclasped a thin gold necklace. "When we find it, you can put the ring on this…"

Kate stared at the necklace in curiosity, "I've never noticed that necklace,"

"It's a good luck charm."

"You believe in good luck?"

"Not really, but I wear it anyways," Jack replied placing his hand on Kate's shoulder, and then turning her away from him. He hesitated before he stretched the necklace outwards holding the clasps between his hands.

Kate looked at him through the corner of her eye. He was waiting for something. Seconds later Kate felt Jack's hands on the back of her neck. She expected his hands to be cold, but they were warm, probably from the fire. He brought the necklace in front of her and the slid it around her skin, until it was on right.

Jack linked the clasps together, and then turned Kate back towards him. "Keep that safe."

"I will," She said placing her hand to the small circle which was inscribed with something. "What is this?"

"Safe travels from St. Christopher, I'm not really into that stuff, but so far so good right?"  
"Right," Kate replied looking down at his hands which were still on her shoulders. "I know you want to interrogate me Jack…and I appreciate you for not doing it."

"You must think my goal in life is to torture you."

"You're a doctor, isn't it?"

Jack nodded, "I am…or was, I'm not exactly sure if I'm going back to that profession. I mean if we're skipping from country to country I might have to get another job."

Kate hated to hear him say that. Give up his job, for her, a fugitive. She felt that she was barely worth it. But she wasn't going to argue with him, at least not now.

Jack massaged Kate's shoulders for a couple of seconds, his hands digging into the fabric of the sweater she was wearing. Even in a sweater she was drop deal gorgeous. "Want to get some pie?"  
"Could we talk?" Kate asked.

"Of course we can,"

Kate reached for Jack's hand and then led him towards their room. Once they stepped inside the drafty space she closed the door behind them. She felt like she was trying to seduce Jack, but she had no intentions of it. After all they had been through so much, a relationship seemed impossible, but somehow it seemed to be working. Kate wanted to accept the way that Jack made her feel, before it was too late. What if something happened, and he or she died before being completely honest with each other. Yes she had told him that she loved him, which was a huge commitment on her part, but she didn't want to hide from it anymore. "I meant what I said out there you know,"

Jack sat down on the edge of the bed. "What did you say."

"Oh god, don't make me repeat it."

"You _heart_ me?" Jack replied with a laugh.

Kate ran her hands through her tangled hair, "Yes, I do. And I don't want to run away from it any more. I want to accept it, but not with anymore nicknames or romantic craziness that you drive out of me."

"I agree with the nicknames, I guess it was a spur of the moment kind of thing."

Kate nodded, "I must really love you to do that." As soon as she said this a wince crossed her face. "I'm saying too much."

Jack shook his head, "Why don't you read that first page?"

Kate looked down at the journal and then smiled back at Jack. "You want me to read it while you're looking right at me?"

Jack nodded, "Is that too much to ask."

Kate still couldn't believe he was treating her as if nothing happened. But she was going to go with it, because she wanted and needed to be cheered up by Jack. It was funny how Jack had transformed over the months, but she liked the new him. Looking away from Jack, she opened the journal.

"I know you're going through some tough times right now, and I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. I know I've said it over and over again, but I have to make sure you got it. I know you're not a fan of sappiness, and I thought I wasn't either until now…but I've fallen in love with you Kate. I know…I know the L bomb was off limits, but I just had to put that in writing. Throughout this trip so far, I've become attached to you. It makes me happy when you smile, and when you laugh, I suddenly feel whole, and as if there is not a damn thing in this world to worry about except for you…" Kate looked up from the journal even before she was half finished. She walked over to him, and then placed the journal down by his side.

Jack looked down at the journal, but was distracted when Kate placed her hand underneath his chin. His heart pace quickened at the feel of Kate's hand on him.

"I miss your stubble," She whispered.

Jack's eyes fluttered close as Kate leaned closer to him. "I meant every word…corny or not I meant it."

Kate placed her lips against his. Their lips were soft against one another's. Jack's mouth opened wider as he hungrily kissed Kate back. She placed her hand behind his head, and stroked his dark brown hair as she savored every temptation filled kiss that he delivered her way. She lowered herself onto his lap.

Jack wrapped his arms around her sweater. He gripped onto the sides, and then wrapped his arms tighter around her never ever wanting to let her go.

His feet were cold from the freezing late October air which was gliding into the room through cracks in the walls. Kate placed her hand against his chest, he fell backwards onto the purple comforter. She was on top of him, her legs pinned him down on the sides of his waist, and he was unable to move. But he didn't want to.

Jack raised his head and continued to fill his craving for Kate by moving his lips along with the rhythm of her own.

She pulled him back down on the bed, and separated her lips from his in order to breathe. Her cheek fell down on his lips.

Jack kissed her cheek, and then breathed in the scent of her hair as she moved her head once again. "We keep doing this,"

Kate nodded, "Is it so bad to want to be close to you during hard times?"

Jack shook his head, "I feel the same way…"

Kate wrapped her arms around Jack's neck and collapsed onto him. His stomach was rising underneath her own, and she could feel his muscles through his shirt. She wanted to be as close to him as possible. Feel his bare skin against her own, because he affected her in unexplainable ways. But she would wait, she would settle for this, because the time wasn't right. Kate didn't want their first time to be weighed down by stress, and not to mention that she was usually modest when it came to sex.

Kate tilted her head backwards as Jack kissed her neck. She gripped onto his arms, and drew in shaky breaths. Jack had become her drug, and she knew that she was addicted.

Jack rolled over and now he was on top of her. He smiled. "I apologize for my lack of control."

"And I for mine, I shouldn't be doing this because of…" Kate rested her cheek against Jack's.

He closed his eyes, and then breathed softly on her skin.

"How does your nose feel?"

"After Sawyer punched me?" Jack asked with a smirk.

Kate nodded.

"Better,"

Kate placed her hand against his chest, and then placed her other hand on the bed as she leaned forward to place a loving kiss on his nose. "I hope that helps it feel better,"

Jack smiled. "Being held hostage had to be the best thing that's ever happened to me." He stood up, and then wrapped his arm around Kate's waist to lift her up.

She smiled. "Thanks," Kate fixed her hair, and then straightened out her clothes. "Thanks for the "talk" it helped to make me feel a little better."

"I'm here to talk always, and when you don't want to talk to me…you can write in the journal, let it out."

Kate patted his shoulder, "I'm going to check on Sawyer, and make sure he's okay."

Jack nodded, "I guess I'll have to talk to him eventually, but not now, I'll do it when I'm ready.

Kate cupped Jack's chin in her hand, and then gave him a kiss on the cheek. "No more running…at least not from you."

"Let me be your rock," Jack offered pulling Kate into a hug.

She blushed.

* * *

A couple minutes later Kate walked towards the kitchen. She spotted Taylor and Chloe sitting at the table eating pie, and watching the news. Kate couldn't help but smile at Chloe as she listened attentively. Looking around the kitchen once more, Kate decided that Sawyer had to be in the back. She turned around and walked through the house. Once she reached Taylor's room, she creaked the door open, and peered in looking for Sawyer. He wasn't anywhere to be seen. 

The bathroom door opened from inside Taylor's bedroom. Mist spilled out into the air. Kate backed against the wall and then watched him through the small crack in the outside door. She could tell that Sawyer was dealing with a lot. Kate reached for the doorknob ready to step inside, but then she paused when Sawyer glanced towards the door.

Thinking he had seen her, Kate dropped her hand.

Sawyer looked away, and then dropped down to reach for something underneath the bed. His face was twisted in suffering, and he looked truly miserable. Kate had never seen him like this before. She reached out to open the door once again, but then paused when he pulled out the shiny black gun.

Kate's mouth dropped. She had almost been positive that they had gotten rid of all the guns.

Sawyer traced his hand against the edge of the gun, and then he placed his head against the bed. His hand played with the trigger, and then he turned off the safety. Sawyer traced the gun along his cheek, and then to his heart.

Kate pushed the door open. "Sawyer, what are you doing?" She asked in fear.

"Get out!"

Kate promptly closed the door behind her, and then turned to Sawyer with her arms crossed. "What are you doing with that gun…and why are…Sawyer!"

"What!" He yelled.

Kate cautiously stepped towards him, "When did you get like this? So desperate to die, I thought it was about staying alive, getting out of the country…"

"Fck you!" Sawyer tucked the gun back in his bag, and then shot up. He grabbed Kate roughly by the arm. "Just the leave me the fck alone!"

"Stop!" She said trying to push him back.

"I'm going to die anyways so why not get the job done a little faster?" He reached for the door knob with his free hand, and then pushed Kate out. "Keep on messin' with me Freckles, and you're going to get burned." He narrowed his eyes at her, and his eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes. "Don't bother me no more, You may need a damn savior to save your ass, but I don't need it…so stay…" Sawyer menacingly jabbed his finger at her. His hand shook as he glared back at her with disgust, which wasn't for her, but instead for him. "Stay the fck away from me."

Sawyer slammed the door in her face.

Kate stared back at the closed door in shock. Tears started to fall again. The tears that she hated so much were barely containable. Her instincts told her to run to Jack, but she couldn't because she had been somewhat happy when they were last together. Kate gripped onto the necklace Jack had given her. She was worried about Sawyer…very worried. He had become suicidal within the last couple of days, and she couldn't understand where it was coming from. Yes, they had both been through a lot, but he always managed to put aside his worries and focus on something else. But not now.

Kate placed her shaking hand to her mouth.

_I heard there was a secret chord  
that David played and it pleased the lord  
but you don't really care for music, do you  
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth  
the minor fall and the major lift  
the baffled king composing hallelujah _

hallelujah...

Sawyer sat on the bed. His jaw was clenched and his face was wet with tears. He didn't care about holding it all in. Because it didn't really matter anymore. Handling the emptiness inside of him was easier to deal with on his own. He reached downwards for the duffel bag where the gun was inside.

Sawyer grimaced as he looked down at his hands searching around frantically for the gun. Misery tortured his soul, and he knew that he had almost reached his breaking point. A man could only smile, and put on a brave face through jokes and ignorance for so long. His hand traced along the cold metal of the gun once more.

What he hated the most was the way Kate and Taylor showed him their care. Sawyer closed his eyes in pain. He didn't want them to care about him, because he wasn't used to it. He just wanted to die, and he didn't want anybody to miss him.

Sawyer opened his mouth. He had contemplated suicide so many times in his life, but he had never been able to go through with it. He briefly dropped the gun and then raised his hands behind his head. He didn't want them to care…he just wanted to die…and he wanted Kate and Taylor to forget about him. Forget he ever existed, and just let him go to the place he deserved to be at. Guys like him didn't get to Heaven, so what the hell did it matter. With shaking hands Sawyer picked back up the gun.

_well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
you saw her bathing on the roof  
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
she tied you to her kitchen chair  
she broke your throne and she cut your hair  
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah _

hallelujah...

Jack looked down at the floor. His eyes rested on a wallet tucked in the corner. Jack squinted at the wallet, and then bent down to inspect. He picked it up, and then leafed through the contents. Money was stashed in the outer fold, and in the smaller pockets, Jack found credit cards, and behind them he found a license. Jack sat down on the bed, and then looked over the license. Darren Von Amberg.

He sighed, and then rested his head against his hand. Closing his eyes he shook his head. Jack glanced at the picture once more. Regret washed through his soul, if only he had went with Kate that night then none of this would've happened.

Jack tucked the license and the credit cards back into the wallet. He choose to pretend that everything was okay for Kate's sake, and he had even managed to convince himself that. But the truth was, when he was alone with his reasoning he knew it wasn't okay. An innocent man was dead, and it was tragic.

_Baby I've been here before_

_I've seen this room and I've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before I knew you  
I've seen your flag on the marble arch  
but love is not a victory march  
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah _

hallelujah...

Kate momentarily forced herself to recover. She ran towards the door, and threw it open. Seconds later she was outside, the cold air whipped wildly at her face as she ran over to Taylor's window. Even though Sawyer appeared unreachable she thought maybe there was a chance she could get through to him. Stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life, which would affect everyone in the house. Kate pounded her hand against the window when she spotted Sawyer. Her heart shattered into a million pieces as she watched him hold the gun dangerously close to his face. She felt as if she was trapped in a dream, a horrible dream that she couldn't wake up from. Kate slammed her fists on the glass in pleading. Sawyer turned to her with a look that wasn't his own.

_Well there was a time when you let me know  
what's really going on below  
but now you never show that to me do you  
but remember when I moved in you  
and the holy dove was moving too  
and every breath we drew was hallelujah _

Jack stepped into the kitchen with Chloe and Taylor. He smiled and then sat down across from them.

"Hey," Taylor said quietly.

Jack nodded.

"So what happened to Darren?" Chloe asked tugging on Taylor's sleeve.

Jack quickly diverted his attention towards Taylor, who seemed somewhat sad. She rested her chin from her hand slightly, and pouted back at her daughter. "Darren's fine…"

"No, but I heard you tell Miss Cecile that Darren would be back, that he would never leave her alone…because she just lost her husband, and she needed family to depend on."

Taylor looked back at Jack in sadness, and then focused on her daughter. "Nothing gets past you huh?"

"Nope, smart as a whip."

Jack clenched his jaw as he waited for Taylor to announce that the police had found Darren's body somewhere. He fought the urge to rest his head in his hands, but instead he put on a clueless face. Jack couldn't force himself to look at Taylor, so he looked down as she explained to her daughter.

"Darren's been gone for a while and…"

Chloe tilted her head to the side in worry, "He was no nice, is he dead mommy?"

"No!" Taylor said quickly. "He'll be back."

"Do you promise, because after Mr. Matthew went to Heaven, Darren was the only one that brought Miss Cecile flowers every morning, and he read to me, when she got tired, and…" Chloe placed her head against her fist. "Where else could he go to mommy? He never goes a day without seeing Miss Cecile."

Finding this all too hard to take, Jack stood up, and walked out of the kitchen.

_Well, maybe there's a god above  
but all I've ever learned from love  
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you  
it's not a cry that you hear at night  
it's not somebody who's seen the light  
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah _

hallelujah...

He couldn't go through with it with Kate watching him. The gun slid from Sawyer's hands and dropped down to the ground. He blinked as he came too, and realized what he was about to do. Sawyer leaned forward resting his head in his hands. When did his life become too much for him, and when did he reach that point when he just wanted it all to be over. Sawyer drew in a breath, and then looked down at the gun. Kate knew about him now, she knew that he wasn't as strong as he pretended to be, and that he wanted his life to be over. Standing up he walked over to the window.

Kate stared back at him with her hand over her mouth. He could see the tears from where he stood.

Sawyer didn't want her crying over him, so he reached for the curtain and then closed it. He didn't want to deal with Kate anymore, she had seen too much inside of his soul, which meant that he had to shut her out. Force her to hate him instead of seeing him as a tragic figure.

Sawyer looked around the room sadly. There was no other way, He was going to make Kate hate him, hate him so much that she wished him dead.

(Thanks everyone for reviewing...I know this was a dark chapter and maybe a little depressing.

Nikki-da-latina- Miss you on Lost Forum, and I updated earlier than Monday for u...and hope you liked the angst...more to come.

Rain1657- Thanks a lot, I love developing the characters, and that's why Sawyer is in such a dark place now.

Orlando-crazy- I miss the action a lot, but there won't be any high speed chases, jumping off buildings into water, or explosions until next year, there staying in North Carolina at least until January...I guess they're comfortable Outlaws...lol

Cohen101- It's the only way for Jack and Kate to get by.

Also thanks to KateLilly, Angel, Sunny102, Lindsay. delee. Jillian, October Sky, and NYR88.)


	7. Building a Mystery

I do not own "Lost" or Kate, Jack and Sawyer. I also do not own "Building a Mystery" which belongs to Sarah Mclachlan

Chapter 7- Building a Mystery

"It's Halloween!" Chloe screamed running into Kate and Jack's room.

Jack slowly rested his head upwards, he cracked his eyes open tiredly, and glanced at the giddy child. "It is?"

"Yes! You know what that means Jack?"

"More sleep," Jack closed his eyes once more, and then flopped his head backwards onto his pillow. His body was warm even though most of the covers were bunched around Kate. A smile crossed his face, when he realized that her head was resting on his chest, and her arm was wrapped around him. He sighed in satisfaction, and then allowed himself to get more comfortable.

"Jack! Mommy has to go to work, you and Kate have to take me."

"Uhuh," Jack mumbled. He rested his chin atop Kate's head, and then kissed her chestnut locks. Jack then turned slightly, and wrapped his arm around Kate. She stirred and then moved her hand up and down his back. For a moment he had forgotten Chloe was in the room with them.

"Mommy has a lot of costumes in the attic, please…pretty please, will you and Kate take me?"

"What about Sawyer?" Jack moaned.

Chloe crawled on the bed next to Jack and Kate, and then rested her head in her hands. "He's being grumpy."

Jack couldn't help but smile, "You'll get used to it."

Chloe placed her hand on Jack's arm and then leaned forward, "Please, with candy coated raindrops, sugar plum fairies, and princesses that look like Kate on top." When Jack didn't respond Chloe tapped him again. "I know you can't resist the part about princesses that look like Kate,"

Jack smiled. "Chloe…"

"We can play dress up, and have lots of candy! Oh and Jack, if you and Kate go, I promise I will give you some of my candy."

"Okay," Jack grumbled before he realized what he was getting himself into.

"Yay! You're the best." Chloe hugged him and then jumped off the bed. "Blueberry or Strawberry pancakes?"

Jack chuckled, he sat up slightly and then kissed Kate on the cheek. "You cook a lot don't you? I don't know that many seven year olds that cook like this."

"Eight," Chloe corrected holding up eight fingers.

"Oh excuse me…" Jack looked down and then smirked down at the covers. "Eight year olds."

"My mommy taught me." Chloe turned around and then paused. She glanced behind her back at Kate and then at Jack. "Are you married yet?"

Jack was taken aback. He raised an eyebrow. "Am I married?"

Chloe nodded, "Yes…are you and Kate married yet?"

"No,"

Chloe snapped her fingers, "This is going to be harder than I thought."

Jack looked back at Chloe in amusement, she stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully, and then she smiled. "Where is the ring?"

Jack couldn't believe he was having a conversation about his relationship with Kate to an eight year old girl. He glanced outside at the foliage falling from the trees. The southern sky was dark, at seven and the sun was just starting to peek out from the morning clouds. Jack smiled at the sight. He was starting to get used to North Carolina, despite all the chaos that should forbid him from doing so.

"Jack! You're not listening to me." Chloe called.

"Oh sorry,"

Chloe placed her hands to her face and smiled widely, "That's okay, I'm going to make breakfast, and if Sawyer walks by, tell him to come into the kitchen so I can show him how to make eggs the proper way." She shook her head, "I'm going to make Sawyer three pancakes…all of them with smiles on the face."

"That's nice, Sawyer could use a smile somewhere." Jack said in an arrogant tone. He remembered that he had intentions of trying to salvage his "relationship" with Sawyer at some point so he left it at that.

Kate stirred next to him.

Jack rested his cheek against her face. She nuzzled his neck, and then wrapped her arms tighter around his body. He liked this, just cuddling with Kate, made everything seem okay, at least until she left.

"You're warm," She mumbled.

"Am I?" Jack asked.

Kate nodded, "Yeah, how because I have all the covers." She pulled all of the covers from around her, and then wrapped Jack up. "Sorry about that, I like to fight for the covers in my sleep, and I like to kick and punch…"

"I know," Jack rubbed his jaw. "You socked me in the face a couple of times with your foot."

Kate's mouth dropped, "What?"

Jack grinned, his hazel eyes crinkling at the corners. "Yeah, you were fighting like Rocky,"

Kate placed her hand to her head in embarrassment, "I beat you up?"

Jack rubbed his jaw, "Most of the sting is gone, and you know what's even funnier?"

"What?" Kate asked propping herself up and then resting her arms on the bed.

"When I woke up in the middle of the night, you had somehow managed to end up on the other side. Your arms were halfway off the bed, and your foot was in my face."

Kate blushed, "Your lying,"

Jack shook his head, "You kicked me enough to realize that it wasn't a dream."

"I'm sorry," She pulled the covers back and then sat up. Kate stretched tiredly, and then glanced outside. "I've always hated Halloween."

"Really?"

Kate nodded, "First of all I'm not really into being scared, and second of all I never really celebrated it."

"Not even for the candy?" Jack asked.

"No, I heard Chloe ask you to take her trick or treating. If you do that then you minus as well dress up as a fugitive, or a hostage."

"Funny, but we can't take her trick or treating that's way to risky, and besides I'm too grown to be playing dress up, Sawyer on the other hand…"

"Jack," Kate warned.

Jack nodded in understanding. "I guess I'm going to have to deal with my issues with him sooner or later."

Kate looked down, "Me too," She watched as Jack got up, he was wearing a wife beater and his boxers, while she was dressed in the shirt he had worn yesterday and some black shorts. "I'm worried about Sawyer,"

"He's troubled,"

"We all are Jack…but he's more so." Kate crossed her arms and then turned towards the window where Sawyer was putting a scarecrow up that was wearing the farmer costume Jack had worn a couple of days ago. She raised her eyebrow.

Jack walked over to her, and then tilted his head to the side in confusion. Kate mimicked his action.

"Is that a scarecrow?" Jack asked.

Kate nodded.

"Wearing my overralls?"

Kate smirked, "Yes, I guess Sawyer is trying to scare the kids that might stop by here, or maybe he's just showcasing some pre-Christmas grinch spirit. I'm going to go talk to him, after I take care of something." Kate moved away from Jack, but he reached for her arm.

Kate turned her bright green eyes in his direction.

"Did you hear something tapping on the window last night, or walking outside?"

Her mouth dropped slightly and her eyebrows dropped low over her eyes. "I didn't hear anything."

Jack frowned, "Maybe I was dreaming." He slowly let his hands drop from Kate's soft skin. "I'm going to get showered."

"Let me know when you need another shaving." Kate added somewhat lightheartedly.

Jack smiled rubbing his chin, "Ask me again on Thanksgiving."

Kate nodded with a smile, and then turned around to saunter out of the room.

Jack sighed as he watched after her. He ran his hands over his dark brown hair which had grown considerably since May, but still was on the shorter side than longer. He could see Kate giving him a haircut next. A smile crossed his face. He was going to suggest it.

Jack shifted his eyes back towards Sawyer, who was now smoking a cigarette. His back was rested against a tree, and his free hand was tucked in the pockets of his jeans. He looked angry. Jack scowled, He wasn't sure how he was going to bring himself to say anything to Sawyer.

There was a knock on the door.

Jack turned around wanting to see Kate, but instead he saw Taylor. She was dressed in nurse scrubs, and her hair was pulled up into a ponytail. She smiled sweetly.

"I'm about to go to work, and Chloe is about to leave for school."

Jack nodded, "Okay, we'll promise to keep the place clean for you." A feeling of guilt washed over him at the thought of Darren, the man that Kate and Sawyer supposedly killed. Jack hadn't forgotten about him, he had just decided not to think about him for Kate's sake.

"Chloe told me that you and Kate were taking her trick or treating." Taylor smiled, "Don't worry though, you're off the hook."

Jack nodded once again.

"Chloe's never been trick or treating before because usually we throw parties at home in the attic, we make a theme, put on some music, and I give her candy, but not too much. I guess she figures that since I'm working all day I'm not going to be able to celebrate with her."

Jack watched as Chloe came from behind her mom with a pout on her face. "Uh…I guess we could throw a Halloween party for her?"

"Yay!" Chloe screamed excitedly.

Jack blushed to himself, not exactly sure what he had gotten himself into. He was never a party person, especially not when it came to kids parties.

"You don't have to do that." Taylor said.

"But he wants to!" Chloe squealed.

* * *

Kate glanced out the window as she walked towards the room Sawyer and Taylor shared. She looked around quickly and then pushed the door open. The bed was made neatly with a cinnamon comforter, and in the corner a couch was setup for Sawyer. Kate turned around to make sure no one came in behind her, and then dropped down onto the floor. She grabbed Sawyer's bag from underneath the bed, opened it, and then started to search for the gun. Seconds later her hands ran along the lethal weapon. Kate zipped back the duffel bag, tossed it underneath the bed, and made her way back towards the door. She didn't want Sawyer to hurt himself, so she had to do this. 

Kate made sure the safety was on and then tucked the gun in between the elastic band of the shorts she was wearing, the gun pressed against her stomach, and she shivered. The quicker Kate got rid of it the better. She walked towards the door, and pushed it open. Sawyer sat on the porch smoking another cigarette.

"Hey," She said.

He remained silent.

Kate refrained from getting to close to him, because she felt the gun starting to slip from the elastic band. She wrapped Jack's long sleeved shirt tighter around her body, and walked towards the forest.

"Where ya goin?" Sawyer snapped suddenly.

Kate turned around to him surprised. "To um…"

He narrowed his eyes back at her. "I get the feeling you're up to no good, what the hell are you up too?"

Kate turned away from him and continued to walk. She expected Sawyer to follow her but he didn't. Kate turned around to look at him. His expression was emotionless so she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Closing her eyes, she sighed in relief that she wouldn't have to worry about Sawyer and the gun again. After Kate walked a little further into the woods, she crouched down next to a tree, and looked down at the soggy mud. Too bad she wasn't able to bring a shovel out here with her.

With her hands she started to dig. Burrow a hole into the drenched earth, Kate shivered as the cold mud coated her fingers and wrist. After she was satisfied with the depth of the hole, she pulled the gun from the safety of her shorts and tossed into the opening.

* * *

Her beauty astonished him. Every time he rested his eyes on her, his captivation increased. Surely he was intrigued by her, but intrigue was too weak of a word because his love for her was more than that. He was captivated, astonished, mesmerized, and he would even go as far as saying obsessed with her. His hands drew circles on the branch as he watched her, the circles stopped and then he started to trace her name. Kate, Kate, Kate. 

He closed his eyes as he tried to imagine kissing her. She would enjoy it as much as he because they were meant to be. No one else deserved her, no one else! And he knew what she was doing. Kate was trying to make him jealous by pretending to love those other men, she wanted him to react and get them. His fists clenched as he watched the dark haired man he had seen earlier approach from a distance. His eyebrows dropped low over his eyes as he watched him. He reached for his gun, and then paused. No, now wasn't the right time to kill the villain…He would wait. Wait until the time was right, wait until he could torture him, and make him die a painful death. It had to be done that way, because he knew that's the way Kate would want it.

He stopped tracing Kate's name against the aged bark of the tree as the "villain" came closer to her, and then he sunk back into the darkness so they couldn't see him. It would only be a matter of time before he could be with his hero, his role model, his love, and his fugitive, Kate.

* * *

Kate stood up and then ran her sneakers over the grave filling it with mud. She stomped the soft earth firmly making sure it was buried and rubbed her hands together. Kate shivered, it was too cold outside to be wearing shorts. Not noticing that Jack was standing right beside her, she turned around and walked right into him. 

Jack stumbled as Kate's forehead hit his chin, and her body slammed against his. He steadied himself by reaching out for her.

Kate looked back at him in surprise, "You followed me?"

"I shouldn't have, but I don't want you coming out here by yourself." He looked around obviously unaware of the gun that Kate had just buried. He was curious to know why Kate kept on coming out into the woods by herself, but he wasn't going to ask. "I still haven't found the ring yet."

Kate looked around trying to remember where she and Sawyer had been the night she was wearing Jack's shirt with the ring. A feeling of loss washed over her, she desperately wanted to find that ring.

"What are you looking for?" Jack asked softly.

Kate couldn't bring herself to tell him that she had lost his ring in the woods so she shrugged. "Nothing really, I was just thinking about…Sawyer."

"The guy that tried to purposely trip me as I came down the stairs to find you, he wants me to fight him again."

"Jack," Kate warned shaking her head.

"I know Kate, I don't want to get in another fight with him. We're adults here not high school students, but I'm not sure how to deal with him. I'm not exactly the highest ranked person on his list, so I have a feeling he's going to provoke me left and right."

Kate looked down, "He doesn't care for me too much either, but what can you do."

Jack looked around, and then placed his hand on Kate's lower back. "Why don't you take a hot shower and get changed before you get cold."

"Your motherly concern for me is worthy of an award."

Jack smiled, "I've been trying to keep a handle on my worrying, and I've made progress but…"

"There is only so much a person can ignore without being considered cold and unfeeling."

Kate had stolen the words right from his mouth so he gave her a nod. "I try not to be either, but c'mon lets get you inside."

* * *

Most of the day Jack and Kate stayed in the attic getting it ready for the Halloween "party" they were going to throw for Chloe. 

Kate reached in the decoration box that was labeled "Halloween Goodies" and pulled out some orange and black streamers. She tossed them at Jack, and then pulled out orange lights. "Taylor does this every Halloween?"

Jack turned away from the bowl that he was pouring candy into. "I guess so, do you want a Hersheys?"

Kate smiled, "Duh,"

Jack grabbed two and sat down next to her. "Here you go."

"Thanks," She said quietly. Kate unwrapped the miniature chocolate bar, and then took a bite. She smiled in satisfaction, and then placed it in between her teeth. "Have some,"

"Huh?" Jack asked.

Kate pointed to her mouth, and then stuck the chocolate out a little further with her tongue. She wasn't exactly sure when her relationship with Jack had turned into this nonstop "flirt fest" but somehow despite everything she was finally starting to feel okay with it.

Jack's cheeks turned red as he leaned forward to taste the chocolate between her teeth, and then get to the main prize her lips. Kate used her tongue to stick the miniature piece of chocolate out further. A smile crossed Jack's features as he leaned forward placing his hand on Kate's leg. He never wanted chocolate as badly as he did now. Jack's mouth closed over the chocolate and then he started to kiss Kate. The piece of chocolate was in his mouth now, but he couldn't focus on that because he was too involved in the feverish kisses he was placing all over Kate's mouth, chin, and cheeks.

Kate placed her hand on the back of Jack's head and smoothed down his hair. She then trailed her hand down his arm until she reached his hand which was still on her leg.

Jack pulled back and smiled. "Are we crazy?"

Kate nodded, "I'm not too sure what's wrong with me."

"Me either, at least we're going crazy together, better together than alone right?"

Kate nodded once again. "I wonder what Sawyer's doing?"

"Before I came upstairs to help you decorate this place he was sitting on the couch watching sports with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other." Jack squeezed Kate's thigh when her green eyes stared off.

She focused her attention back on him. "We should finish this up before Chloe gets back, I still can't believe we're throwing a Halloween party?"

"I know, we aren't exactly the most dangerous of Outlaws," He delivered with a smile.

Kate stood up and then tapped Jack's nose lightly. "Did you say Taylor and Chloe usually have a theme?"

Jack nodded as Kate placed her hand underneath his chin.

"What's our theme?" Kate asked looking outside and watching as Sawyer stalked into the woods with a shovel. She completely lost her train of thought as she watched Sawyer disappear into the mass of trees coated with orange, yellow and brown leaves.

"How about the 80's?"

Kate shifted her attention away from Sawyer quickly and then nodded in agreement, "I grew up in the 80's."

"And I went to high-school in the 80's."

Kate smiled down at him once more, "I have to go check on something, why don't you put some more thought into our Halloween/80's party."

"Going after Sawyer?" Jack asked.

"No, I wanted to look for something. I'll be back." Kate turned around.

Jack grabbed her arm and then trailed his finger down to her hands. "Are you looking for the ring?"

"Maybe,"

* * *

Sawyer followed the footprints into the forest. He knew what Kate was doing the second she stepped outside and headed into the woods. Sawyer raised an eyebrow as the tracks stopped beside a tree. He placed down the shovel and then crouched down to examine the freshly disturbed soil. With his hands he started to dig what appeared to be a shallow hole. Sawyer came across a small object, he quickly pulled it out. 

"What the…" He brushed off some more dirt and stared back at the object quizzically. It was a small object with three windows, two wings on each side, and the nose was painted in red. It was a miniature airplane.

Sawyer covered the hole back with dirt and then stared at the airplane once more. Why would Kate bury this?

"What are you doing?"

Sawyer quickly tucked the airplane in his pocket. She wasn't getting the damn thing back until he got his gun. "Like I gotta answer to you."

Kate crossed her arms, "Am I supposed to just turn my back on you."

"Yeah you should, I treated you like shit yesterday, and if you stay long enough I'll do it again. So why don't you leave?"

Kate rested her back against a tree. "Were you really going to do it yesterday?"

"Where is Aladdin these days huh, don't he know Princess Jasmine is speaking to Jafar behind his back?"

Kate raised an eyebrow.

"The kid had me watching Aladdin," Sawyer groaned turning away from Kate. "You and Jackie boy like in a fantasy that I don't want nothing to do with."

"We don't live in a fantasy."

"Yeah you do Freckles, and ya know what it makes me sick. We're in a fcked up situation but you're not seeing the big picture here."

"What do you want from me Sawyer?"

"I'm trying to figure out what you want from me, because all I'm going to do is make you cry." He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're about to cry aren't you…You need Jack to come and beat my ass again."

"You were going to kill yourself the other day."

"Someone will kill me eventually so why not get it over with. You and Jack keep on planning that wedding, we'll see if it happens."

"You know what I did hide that gun."

"Where is it!" Sawyer barked suddenly.

"I am not going to let you hurt yourself, so if I have to intervene then I will."

Sawyer stepped towards her menacingly as if he was going to hit her, but he wouldn't dare. He was considerably taller than her, so he stared her down. "Give me the gun."

Kate pushed him away from her.

Sawyer stared back at her in shock.

"Do you realize how many people love you? What do you think would happen if you killed yourself, are you really that selfish Sawyer. Think about Taylor, Chloe…and even me."

Sawyer smirked, he looked down and then tilted his head to the side. "How touching. The only person that will give a damn when I'm dead is the guys that are after me so they won't have to search no more."

Kate raised her chin. "Well if you're going to ignore Taylor and I, think about Chloe, she's eight, how do you think she's going to react when she finds out you're never coming back."

"Bullshit." He turned to walk away from her, but Kate grabbed him by the sleeve.

"What are you going to do now? Jump off a bridge?"

"Get the fck off me woman."

"And if I don't."

Sawyer narrowed his eyes down at her. There was only one way to make her leave him alone, one way he could make her run back to Jack without physically hurting her. He was going to be as disgusting as he could muster, show her how much of a pig he could be, and shatter whatever image she had built of him.

_You come out at night  
That's when the energy comes  
And the dark side's light  
And the vampires roam  
You strut your rasta wear  
And your suicide poem  
And a cross from a faith that died  
Before Jesus came  
You're building a mystery_

Sawyer pulled Kate closer to him. His lips twisted into a sick smile. He was going to make her hate him. Make her want to give him the gun. His hands dug into the flesh of her arm, strong enough to make her skin flush red, but not strong enough to hurt her. She stared back up at him in confusion, like she was curious to what he would do next, but nervous as well. Sawyer pressed her hand against his stomach.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting what I want." He drawled out slowly. Sawyer wanted her to give him another reason to end his life. He needed it like he needed air. With his other hand he trailed his hand down her lower back. He wasn't going to hurt her, but he wanted to cross his boundaries.

"What are you doing?" Kate repeated.

Sawyer kept his mouth closed. His eyes were halfway closed as he looked down at her. He pulled her closer to him, she wasn't giving into him, but she wasn't pulling away either.

"I know what you're trying to do." Kate said calmly.

"What's that baby doll?"

"You're trying to chase me away…but it's not going to be that easy. I know you Sawyer, and…"

"Shut up, you don't know me."

She stared back at him in hurt for a couple of seconds and then recomposed herself.

"Or maybe you do, because it takes a monster to know another monster."

Kate narrowed her eyes at him.

Sawyer tightened his grip on Kate's wrist. "I'm no angel, and neither are you. How convenient is it that you suddenly decide to change for the better when good ol' Jackass Shepard M.D. shows up."

Kate remained silent.

Sawyer brought his face closer to Kate's. "You're wasting your time here, not everyone can be saved."

_You live in a church  
Where you sleep with voodoo dolls  
And you won't give up the search  
For the ghosts in the halls  
You wear sandals in the snow  
And a smile that won't wash away  
Can you look out the window  
Without your shadow getting in the way?_

"I don't know what you thought you saw in me, but it was an illusion. I'm not what you think sweet cheeks." Sawyer pressed his leg against Kate's. "I don't care about anyone but myself."

"It sounds forced I don't believe you." Kate said stubbornly.

Sawyer allowed the dark side of him to take over. He forced himself to disregard Kate's feelings, and ultimately the conscious that he did have somewhere inside of him. No more being nice, he wanted the gun, and whether he wanted to hurt Kate or not there was no other way. "You wanna know what I think."

Kate stared back at him.

"I think that Jack's going to die first, and you wanna know why Freckles?"

Kate's mouth dropped, and her eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes. She forced herself to remember what Sawyer was doing, he was trying to get her upset. Kate composed herself, or at least tried to.

"Jack's going to die first because of you. A situation will come up when you have to either save him or die…and you know what you're gonna do? You're gonna run, and leave him, because deep down you're no better than me…"

"Shut up!"

Sawyer smirked at Kate's sudden break in determination. "See how easy it is to get under your skin." He placed his nose against hers.

Kate shuddered but didn't pull back. He was doing this purposefully, and she wasn't going to back down. She raised her hand to push him back, but stopped when she noticed that he wasn't really looking at her. From what she could see his eyes were half-closed, and he was smiling, but his eyes didn't match up, she saw sadness in them.

Before Kate could say anything else Sawyer pressed his lips against hers. Throwing her for a complete and utter shock, Kate released her grip from Sawyer's hand as he pressed his lips against her own. She pushed him back, but he wrapped his arms around her forcefully.

_You're so beautiful  
With an edge and charm  
but so careful  
When I'm in your arms _

Cause you're working  
Building a mystery  
Holding on and holding it in  
Yeah you're working  
Building a mystery  
And choosing so carefully

Kate pushed him away from her once again, Sawyer let go with a smile.

He grabbed himself, let go, and then raised his chin. "I've been meaning to do that for a while, was it as good for you as…"

Before he could finish Kate lashed out. Her hand went soundly across his face. Sawyer's head jerked to the right and his long dirty blonde hair splayed wildly around his face as he stumbled backwards.

Kate placed her stinging hand down by her side. Her stomach rose with every shaky and confused breath she took. She closed her eyes. That's what he wanted her to do, Sawyer had been feeding off of her emotions, and he wanted her to give him a reason to believe that she didn't care about him.

Sawyer placed his hand to his aching jaw. His smile had disappeared. "Now will you give me my gun."

"I didn't mean to…"

"I just want my gun, damn it Kate!"

"Why do you want me to hate you so much."

Sawyer forced himself up, and stormed away from Kate.

_You woke up screaming aloud  
A prayer from your secret god  
You feed off our fears  
And hold back your tears, oh  
Give us a tantrum  
And a know it all grin  
Just when we need one  
When the evening's thin_

Kate sighed and then looked around the woods. She didn't know what to do for him anymore. He was good at pushing people away, and he had even managed to get her to smack him even though she knew what he was doing. Sawyer was too complex, and it took a great deal of energy worrying about him. She closed her eyes, and then held her hands close to her body. Sawyer was loosing his will to live, and it was only a matter of time, before he tried to kill himself again. She had promised herself she wasn't going to cry, but she felt her eyes starting to grow watery. How was Kate supposed to help him, when he purposely pushed her away whenever she got to close.

_You're a beautiful  
A beautiful fucked up man  
You're setting up your  
Razor wire shrine _

Cause you're working  
Building a mystery  
Holding on and holding it in  
Yeah you're working  
Building a mystery  
And choosing so carefully

Sawyer rested his back against Taylor's bed. He pulled the miniature airplane out of his pocket, and looked back at it in anger and disappointment. He regretted kissing Kate the way he did, he just wanted her to get off his back. Sawyer placed his arms against his knees and kept his eyes focused on the toy plane. He lost his thoughts for a second as he glanced at the inscription on the white plane. It read, "KTKTKT"

"What?" He whispered to himself.

(Thanks everyone for reviewing. I'm sorry for writing another happy at the beginning but yet angsty chapter at the end. For everyone worried about Sawyer, I just thought I could provide some reassurance, he's not dying. I wouldn't be so cruel as to leave him so messed up, without giving him a chance for redemption.But one person is still dying, and I'll leave that up to interpretation. And as for Kate's "crazy admirer" in the woods, there is nothing supernatural going on here, because this isn't that type of story. But what he's up to, and why he wants Kate even sends shudders through my spine and I came up with it...lol. Also the "kiss" between Sawyer and Kate won't affect her relationship with Jack..because there was no feelings involved for either of them in that kiss...not saying that Sawyer doesn't still like her. Also I had this idea, and before I included it I wanted to ask you'll...if you don't want to answer this then you don't have to, but I was thinking that Jack and Kate will eventually have to go back to L.A. to deal with Sarah and Jack's baby which is going to be born in December...and I was thinking maybe Sarah could meet Claire...and somehow Claire helps her through the pregnancy because Jack's not there? Just thinking that Sarah might need a little more support than the Marshal...but I still dunno.

Rain 1657- No it's not wierd, I listened to Hallelujah on repeat while writing last chapter...if anyone's weird it's me. lol

Cohen 101- Yep, it's real time. Sawyer and Kate held Jack "hostage" in May of 2005, when I started writing this, and now it's October 2005 in the story...I did it this way so I can write about that holidays, next is Thanksgiving, which I can't wait to write and unlike this chapter I will find a way to make Thanksiving and Halloween happy times.

Nikki-da-latina- More angst...Yeah, I have the address and I will be swinging by soon, because you are truly talented when it comes to making creative art. Still missinf you on the forum though Sonia.

Also thank you to Kballgetlost, delee, sunny02, Oct, Charlielover1313, Clarkso04, Angel, and Orlando-crazy.)


	8. Body and Soul

I'm going to rate this chapter R, for mature themes. I do not own Lost or any of the characters.

Chapter 8- Body and Soul

_A smile crept across Jack's face as he watched Kate walk towards him. Her hair was swept up in an elegant bun and she wore a strapless white dress which flowed around her toned legs. The moonlight cascaded down on the beach in soft radiance and the scent of the salty Atlantic lingered in the air. Jack patted the pocket of his dark black pants and then adjusted his jacket. Tonight was the big night for him and Kate. Tonight he was going to ask her to marry him, and hopefully she would say yes. Jack's heart rate increased as Kate closed the distance between them, each step she took seemed to be in slow motion. The wind picked up and tossed Kate's loose tendrils around her angelic face. Jack swallowed down a wad of nervousness as she stopped in front of him. Her eyes burned with an emerald intensity, and rays of fire from the tiki torches surrounding them made Kate's delicate features glow with a bronze like glow. Jack opened his mouth to speak but no words came. _

_Kate blinked. The world stopped, and the wind caught the fire. A slow smile crept across her face, and she looked down._

_For the first time Jack realized that he was bearing a hole into her soul with his eyes. He grinned to himself nervously and then tried to ignore the warm sensation that was traveling through his body. Sand whipped around them as the wind shifted directions. Kate placed her hand on the pocket of Jack's black jacket. He exhaled and then looked up. There eyes lingered on each others' smoldering gaze for three seconds and then Kate spoke. The sound of her voice alerted Jack to his senses._

_"This is beautiful,"_

_Jack nodded in agreement, but they were talking about two different things. Kate was talking about the atmosphere around them bathed in foggy mist, and he was concentrating on her. Jack was mesmerized by the way her white lace dress graced her body lovingly, and the way her eyes shimmered every time she looked at him. "I think you look beautiful," Jack stuttered. He winced and then placed his hand to his forehead. If he planned on proposing to Kate, he had to get it together._

_Kate pulled off her high heeled shoes and tossed them carelessly onto the satin blue blanket. "I never liked wearing heels, but I thought I could wear them for you…just this once,"_

_The uneasiness Jack was feeling earlier was starting to wane. He glanced down at a red rose which he had brought for Kate earlier and then bent down to pick it up. "It's nothing special but…"_

_Kate gently took the rose from Jack. Her lips curled into a soft smile and then her eyes shifted towards him curiously. "Why do I have the feeling that you invited me here for more than just dinner?"_

_"I'm not too sure?" Jack avoided with a smirk._

_Kate playfully pushed him._

_Instinctively, Jack reached out for her hand, his fingers entwined between the crevices of her own, and he pulled her to him. He drew in slow breaths as he looked down at the woman he had fallen so hard for. "I did bring you hear for another reason."_

_"I thought so," Kate whispered. She was so close to Jack now that she could feel the electric attraction radiating from his body. His thumb caressed her hand before he let her go. "Before I met you I wasn't too big on the idea of commitment, because something about the "C" word scared me."_

_Kate smiled, "Are you about to give me a speech?"_

_Jack chuckled. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine how Kate would react to his proposal. The thought of her turning him down was enough to make him change his mind, but he was going to go through it. Jack tore his eyes away from Kate and surveyed the jagged rocks that poked outwards from the sand where the shore broke onto land. He needed to think over what he was going to say. Make sure he was able to express all the confusing but yet definite reasons for why he wanted to be with her._

_Jack sighed as he watched Kate gaze off towards the sea. His heart sunk at the thought of having to say goodbye to her. He truly loved Kate, and Jack knew that without her his life would go back to the way it was. And that was the last thing he wanted. Jack reached out his hand once more and stroked Kate's cheek, which felt like velvet to the touch. She closed her eyes momentarily and then looked back at Jack. "I love you Kate,"_

_Kate simply nodded._

_Jack felt himself dropping down to the ground. In seconds his knee was pressed against the sheet and the mound of sand underneath. With shaking hands Jack reached out for Kate's hand. He looked up at her and the words that he was having so much difficulty with before were now inspired by the nervous but yet hopeful expression she was giving him. Jack slipped his hand in his pocket to pull out the box which held her ring. _

_Kate's eyes widened as Jack opened the box to reveal a gold band. She glanced at him in surprise and then smiled widely._

_"I've never been good at coming up with the right words to say, and I'm sure this may be one of the worst proposals in history but I'm trying…"_

_Kate silenced Jack by placing a hand over his mouth. Seconds later she allowed her hands to stroke his cheek softly and then rest on his shoulders. "You're doing fine,"_

_Jack pulled the ring out of the box and then held it close to Kate's hand. "I've tried thinking over and over what I was going to say, I wanted this moment to be right, romantic and I even wanted to sweep you off of your feet."_

_"Well you're succeeding so far," Kate bit her lip, and then traced her hand underneath Jack's chin. "Yes," she accepted. _

_His mouth dropped and he looked up at her in surprise. His hazel eyes searched her lustrous olive saucers for signs of sincerity. _

_She wiggled her fingers in front of the ring and tilted her head to the side. "I'll marry you."_

"_I didn't even ask yet…"_

_Kate tilted Jack's head towards her and then bent down to give him a kiss on his soft lips. Jack closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Kate, he fought the instinct to pull her down onto the satin sheets with him. He groaned as Kate kissed him harder. Seconds later they broke apart and Jack slipped the gold band encrusted with a stunning diamond in the center on Kate's finger. She smiled from ear to ear, and wrapped her arms tightly around Jack's neck as he stood up._

_Jack kissed Kate on her cheek, and then nuzzled his face against her neck. The smell of her perfume was tantalizing and he couldn't resist but to steal another kiss. Jack then picked Kate up with ease. "What would've happened if I did have a speech planned out?"_

_"A speech?" Kate laughed._

_Jack blushed, "Well not a speech, but an incredibly sappy but yet truthful reason for why I want you to be my wife."_

_Kate grinned, "Well, we've went through the "sap" countless times, and I think I have a pretty good idea of how you feel."_

_Jack couldn't say the same for Kate. He knew that she loved him, but he wasn't sure how much. Kate was more guarded with her emotions than he was. He looked upwards at the night sky and then at the waves. Jack wanted to do something crazy, something fun, an action that was as far away from the old Jack Shepard as possible. He had just gotten Kate to agree to marry him, and he felt as if he was on top of the world. "What are you thinking?" Kate asked kissing him._

_Jack smiled as he sampled her lips. "I want to do something…something crazy."_

_"Jack Shepard and crazy…are you sure?" She laughed._

_Jack nodded. He let Kate down and then held out his hand. "Dance with me,"_

_Kate looked around, "Right here, on the beach without any music or…"_

_"Hey…last time I checked this was my dream." Jack replied with a sarcastic grin. He glanced towards the ocean once more. Kate stepped closer to him, and then reached for his tie pulling him closer. Jack looked down at her with desire._

_"You wanted to do something crazy huh?" Her smile was mischievous as she led Jack closer to the waves breaking onto shore. Little explosions echoed off the rocks as the waves crashed onto the sand._

_"Why are we going towards the…"_

_Kate jerked Jack's tie closer to her, he was immediately pulled up against her. "Take off your shoes."_

_Jack grinned. He narrowed his eyes at Kate in curiosity but he allowed her to lead him farther towards the sea._

_"I'm going to warn you one last time," Kate whispered in his ear._

_Jack's grin widened at the feel of her breath tickling his ear. She loosened her grip on his tie, as he bent down to pull off both of his shoes. Once his socks were off Kate latched onto his tie once more and continued to lead him towards the surf._

_Jack placed his hands on both of Kate's arms as they stepped into the cold waves. The water was like ice, but the feel of Kate's skin underneath his hands, was enough to distract him. She let go of his tie and then wrapped both of her arms around his neck. Jack clutched onto the white lace of her dress and brought her body closer to his. As she kissed him eagerly, her arms slowly dropped away from his neck and her hands gripped onto his arms. Jack was so caught up in each tantalizing kiss Kate placed on his lips that he didn't have time to react when she tripped him swiftly and then pushed him into the rolling waves. Kate laughed as he fell forwards, Jack reached out._

_Kate screamed with delight as Jack tugged her down with him. Water soaked through her dress, and her hair fell forwards in damp curls around her shoulders. Jack forced himself up, but Kate tugged him back down by his pants. Jack's pants dropped slightly revealing his boxers. Wanting to see more Kate tugged down on his pants harder. Jack turned around quickly which caused him to lose his balance. He fell into the colliding waves, and Kate stood up and wrapping her arms around his neck._

_As they laughed wave after wave knocked them down._

_Jack struggled to get his pants back up as Kate splashed him with the salty sea water. "I'm going to get you." He threatened light heartedly. _

_Kate crossed her arms and then leaned forward. "Then what are you waiting for?"_

_Jack forced himself up. The tux he was wearing now weighed down on him heavily. He unbuttoned his jacket and tossed it onto the sand. "Now I'm ready,"_

_Kate turned back towards the beach and started to run. Her hair flopped wildly behind her and her arms moved in perfect rhythm with her body. Jack pursued her, his feet pounded against the sand as he traced her footsteps. Kate made a sudden turn and dashed towards the right, Jack was quick on his feet. Like a football player he did a quick detour and rushed towards Kate. Seconds later Jack crashed into her, his arms wrapped around her small waist. She let out a scream as Jack tightened his grip around her. They both flipped over. Jack fell onto the sand shoulder first and Kate collapsed down onto him shortly afterwards. _

_Kate placed her hands against the sand and lowered her mouth down onto Jack's. He smiled in satisfaction and accepted her kiss longingly. She rolled over onto the sand with a smirk, and pulled Jack onto her. The top buttons of his white collared shirt broke loose; Kate slipped her hands inside the damp shirt and then massaged the skin on his chest. Jack placed his head against Kate's and closed his eyes. She kissed him on the cheek, and then forced him over her once again. _

* * *

Jack turned over on his side. He smiled to himself as he sunk deeper into the dream. Turning over onto his stomach, Jack splayed his arm out onto Kate's side. She wasn't there, so he grabbed her pillow and brought it close to his chest. He yearned for her now more than ever, and it wasn't just because of the dream. Jack knew that he had a deeper bond with Kate than she was willing to admit. He buried his face in the soft fabric of her pillow. Jack's body grew weak at the scent of her perfume, which was a mix between jasmine and vanilla, or maybe it was the candles that she liked to burn. Unconsciously Jack swung a leg over her pillow and wrapped his arms around it tighter. He was too in love with Kate to let her slip away.

* * *

Kate stepped into the room with Jack, and closed the door behind her. Without looking at Jack's legs wrapped around her pillow in a death like grip, she placed down her journal on the desk. A smile formed on her face as she traced the caramel leather coating. Jack's concern for her could be a little daunting at times, but overall the fact that he cared so much, made her feel alive inside. Before she had came across Jack she had been so empty, living life on the run, dodging Marshals and Bounty Hunters, and searching for a bigger purpose in life. Her eyes closed in pain. 

Suddenly deciding that she needed to change her recent train of thought Kate turned around. The sight of Jack clutching onto her pillow threw her off at first, but as she stepped closer to him she noticed that he was smiling. Kate's cheeks grew warm as she sat down on the bed. She watched him with an enamored expression and then traced her hand against Jack's cheek. "I guess I'll let you borrow my pillow for the night." Kate trailed her hand down Jack's arms and then stood up. She turned off the lights, and watched as the moon poured in through the foggy glass windows and listened as the wind whistled outside. Kate reached in a draw for a box of matches, she pulled one out and struck it against the side of the box, lighting a series of candles one by one. Kate blew out the match, and then settled into the bed next to Jack. Since she didn't have a pillow, she snuggled up close to him. Kate rested her head on his chest, and reached out her arms to wrap around Jack's body. Kate smiled once more and then laid an innocent kiss on his neck. Three minutes later she was knocked out.

* * *

_Kate thanked the nurse and then headed down the hall towards Diane's room. Her heart was in her throat, and her hands were shaking uncontrollably. Kate gripped onto the vase of flowers in her hand as she walked down the darkened hospital hallways. A cop was sitting against the wall with his face buried in a newspaper. Kate clenched her jaw nervously as she raised the vase to shield her face. Determination creased across her features as she walked past the officer. Once she turned the corner Kate looked around for Tom. Her mouth dropped when she Sawyer._

_The vase dropped down slightly by her side, and Kate turned her head curiously in his direction. Her eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes as she watched Sawyer walk over towards her. He wore a black button down shirt, with a pair of jeans and boots. A smile crossed his face as he stopped in front of her._

_"It looks like you're doin pretty good for yourself Freckles,"_

_"Why are you here?" Kate asked confused._

_"You know why sweet cheeks, whenever you're around someone is bound to get hurt and in this case it's deal old Doc, whoopee doo."_

_Kate looked around angrily. She placed down the vase of flowers on a counter close by, and then grabbed onto Sawyer's arm._

_"Do you take control of him like this too? Because if you do then I'm excited." He said with wide eyes._

_"I would never hurt Jack, and while we're on this conversation…you either."_

_"You know what I said earlier got to you doll, and you know why it did muffin."_

_"How about you stop with the nicknames," Kate barked._

_Sawyer yanked his arm out of Kate's grasp, and then pulled his hair back suavely with one hand. "We both know how this story goes, you come here to see mommy dearest, but unfortunately dear ol' mama is scared of you…"_

_Kate glared back at Sawyer warningly, but he continued to talk._

_"She screams, and then the hospital goes on guard because a fugitive is on the loose, but then if it ain't a miracle when lover boy Tom runs to the rescue…"_

_Kate slammed Sawyer up against the wall. She was visibly shaken, and her mouth was fixed in a permanent pout. "I didn't kill Tom!"_

_"Then why the hell are you carrying that plane around?" Sawyer growled fixing his shirt. He adjusted his collar and turned his head towards Kate menacingly. "What makes you think that the same thing ain't gonna to happen to Jacko? Just like Tom he done fell head over heels in love with you and how did ya reward him sweetheart?"_

_"You don't know anything, so just shut up!" Kate yelled. When she remembered that she was in a hospital she clamped her trembling hands over her mouth. _

_Sawyer smirked, "What are you gonna take of Jack's after he dies? That wedding ring,"_

_Kate felt her eyes start to grow teary. She allowed her eyes to close as she blinked away at the rapidly forming tears. "I don't have time for this…"_

_Sawyer grabbed onto Kate's arm and turned her back around towards him. "Would you really risk your life for that son of a bitch? I doubt it mamacita seeing how much you've done in the past to avoid capture."_

_Kate pushed Sawyer again one last time. This time he let her go. Without turning back around to face him Kate stormed away. _

_"Kate you have ten minutes with Diane before we have to send her to Radiology." The handsome doctor said as he rolled Diane's bed out towards her._

_Kate turned around. Her mouth dropped open in shock, and no words could describe the troubled thoughts that were now coursing through her mind. Jack walked over to her. _

_"Are you okay?" He asked in concern._

_Kate looked down at Diane. Her eyes widened in fear, and then she focused back on Jack. He reached out and placed his hand on her arm. Kate pulled away, but Jack reached out for her again. He scanned around the hospital and then gave Kate his complete attention._

_"What's wrong?" Jack repeated._

_Kate eased her arm out of Jack's. She knew where this dream was going, and she had to wake up. From the corner of her eye she watched as Sawyer stepped from around the corner. He shook his head in her direction and then smirked._

_Jack leaned forward, his eyes softened in concern as he stared back at Kate. _

_Before Jack could say anything else she turned away from him and started to run. The hospital was thrown into alert mode. Jack chased after her. _

_"I need your keys,"_

_"Kate,"_

_"Keys!" She screamed._

_Jack reached in the pocket of his lab jacket and handed Kate his keys without any further questions. _

_"Don't follow me," She warned. With that Kate took off, she pushed the doors open that led to the garage and sprinted towards Jack's car. Jack was on her heels. Kate disarmed the car and quickly opened the door, she lowered herself in, and started the ignition. Jack opened the passengers' door and sat down next to her. _

"_Get out!" She screamed._

_"No, not only is this my car, but I'm not going to let you just leave like this. We're in this together right."_

_Kate slammed her hands on the steering wheel in frustration. "Jack, please just get out!" _

_"I told you I was in this until the end, and I mean it." Jack leaned forward to catch Kate's eyes, but she wouldn't look at him._

_Kate shook her head, "Just get out Jack." Her tone was pleading and desperate. If she knew how this dream was going to end, then she wasn't going to drive. Kate bit her bottom lip as the hospital door was thrown open and police ran towards them._

_"Where you go, I go." He said defiantly._

_She couldn't control her foot as she slammed down on the pedal. The car screeched violently as Kate shifted the gear from reverse to drive simultaneously. She went full speed towards the exit, pressing the breaks on a hairpin turn and then speeding up again._

_Jack put on his seatbelt and gripped onto the door handle with one hand and Kate's arm with the other. "Kate, are you sure you want to do this."_

_"Yes, but I don't want you to get hurt. So get out!" Kate stomped her foot onto the brake pedal abruptly. Both of them were roughly jerked forward. She struggled to fill her lungs with air as she wiped her hair away from her eyes. _

_Jack glanced ahead. A cop was parked in front of the exit. His car was blocking them and his gun was drawn. "Step out of the car with your hands up!"_

_Kate turned to Jack one last time. Her expression spoke volumes, "I'm not turning myself in."_

_"I would never ask you too," _

_Kate raised her foot above the gas pedal and prepared to crash through the ticket booth while attempting to avoid getting shot in the process._

_"Get out with your hands held over your head!" The cop yelled. His gun was trained on the car, and he was safely sheltered by his door. _

_Fear registered in Jack's eyes, and his mouth was open in shock. "Kate, you're not going to…"_

_The cop started to call for backup. _

_"I have to go, Jack please." She pleaded one last time._

_Jack looked down, but refused to get out of the car._

_She pressed down on the gas pedal hard, the accelerator jumped helplessly as the car shot forward fast as a bullet. Kate opened her mouth to tell Jack to get down, but she was distracted when the cop pulled out his gun. Swerving to avoid the pelting bullets, Kate rammed into the side of the cop car._

_The impact caused Jack and Kate to jolt forward violently. Kate recovered quickly, she was tempted to glance at Jack and make sure he was okay, but the officer was shooting. She dipped down her head low by the wheel, and continued to make her escape. _

_The sound of crushing metal echoed throughout the air as Kate charged past the damaged cop car. She turned to check on Jack, but a car turning suddenly caused her to refocus her attention. Their cars rammed together and the windshield cracked in protest of the sudden trauma. Kate removed her shaky hands from the wheel and finally focused her attention on Jack. No!_

_Kate covered her mouth and tears pooled in her eyes at the sight of Jack. Blood dribbled from his nose, and his eyes were closed. "Jack, no, no, Jack!"_

_The sirens were approaching. Kate swallowed down a wad of nervousness. She could hear Sawyer's words echoing in her ears. See his wicked smile, and that look on his face like he knew her. Kate placed her hand against Jack's face. "Jack, please…"_

_The sirens were growing louder._

_The door was thrown open in seconds and Kate slowly let go of Jack's face. Tears were streaming from her eyes as she started to run. Kate hopped over the rail and then sprinted down the alley, Leaving behind Jack and a small black box resting on the floor next to his shoes._

* * *

Jack heard Kate screaming next to him. He jumped up with a start turning to face her. Kate's eyes were squeezed shut, and her face was twisted into an expression of fear. She slipped her hands form his arm and grabbed onto the sheets. 

"Kate," Jack said placing his hands around her arms.

"Jack!" She yelled.

"I'm right here," He said into her ear.

Kate placed her hands against his chest and tried to push him away, but Jack brought his hands underneath her and brought her closer to him.

"I'm right here," He repeated.

Kate's eyes opened. She stared back at him in disbelief, and then looked around the room. Relief seemed to wash over her the second she looked into his eyes.

Jack cupped Kate's chin in his hands, and brought her face closer to his. "It looks like you were having a nightmare, everything is alright now."

Kate's bottom lip started to tremble.

Jack held her tighter in his arms. His hands gently massaged her back getting caught in between some strands of her hair. Jack wiped the tears away from Kate's face with the back of his thumb. "I'm here,"

Kate glanced down at the pillow in between Jack's legs, and then let out a small laugh.

"Wh…What's so funny?" He asked in utter confusion.

As Kate wiped away at her tears she pointed to the pillow. Jack's eyes widened and he looked back at Kate in shock.

"I didn't put that there…"

Kate patted his shoulder, "It's okay,"

Jack removed the pillow and then placed it back down on the bed. "I guess I…" He looked down embarrassed, "I guess I just missed you."

Without responding Kate leaned forward. Jack watched her silently not sure what she was going to do. Seconds later her arms were wrapped around him in a life squeezing hug and her chin rested on his shoulder.

A smile crossed Jack's face. His eyelids closed and he allowed his body to rest against Kate's. Her heart was beating against his chest and her hair spilled over his skin. He clutched her tighter, and then stole a kiss on her cheek.

"I did have a nightmare," She confessed.

"I know," Jack said. He was surprised that Kate was still hugging him, but he had no objections, or plans to be the first to let go. Her hand slowly slid up the back of his neck and then into his hair. Kate massaged her fingers through his scalp.

"I didn't expect for this to happen."

"What?" Jack asked.

Kate leaned away from Jack. She glanced deep into his needy saucers and tilted her head to the side lovingly. "I didn't expect for my feelings to get this deep."

Jack eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes with genuine love. His breathing pattern had grown shaky, and he couldn't control how fast his stomach was rising against Kate's.

"I've tried to ignore my feelings for you, I don't think you understand the lengths I've gone to Jack."

Jack rested his forehead against Kate's shoulder, as he kissed the silky smooth skin right above her collar bone.

Her hands traced the reddened skin around his neck.

"Every time we kissed I would convince myself that it would end at that. I actually was able to make myself believe that a kiss was all I wanted…"

The air was thick, and the heater buzzed with a steady rhythm in the background.

Jack tore his lips away from her shoulder and then looked into her electric eyes which burned with a warm jade color. He drew in another breath as he listened to her.

Kate smiled, "This week we've been having a lot of trouble dealing with our feelings."

Jack nodded as he glanced down at the pillow.

"I don't know how else to describe it, but I'm in love with you." Kate buried her face in her hands. "I didn't think it was possible but I am. You make me feel weird inside when you kiss me, and when you look at me…"

Jack's smile widened and he passed her a look that was incredibly seductive.

Her cheeks grew flushed, and she had to turn away from him. "I'm making a fool of myself,"

Jack reached for Kate's hand and started to kiss around the edges. She linked her fingers inside of his and watched him with growing temptation. His lips felt like fire against her skin, and Kate couldn't help but to shiver each time his mouth grazed her flesh.

Jack paused. "Are you okay?"

Kate tore her eyes away from the way his lips moved against her skin. "I'm okay, but why do you care so much about me?"

Jack stopped kissing Kate's hand and stroked her hand with his thumb. "Because I love you,"

Kate looked down with a smile. "I don't want to hurt you."

Jack traveled back upwards to Kate, he brought his nose against hers and stared deep into her eyes. "Don't worry about me, let's just focus on you."

She brought her hands against his face and pulled him in for a kiss. Jack felt a sense of euphoria wash over him as his tongue navigated Kate's mouth. He felt her hand reached out for his back. Jack's body reacted to Kate's cold hands as she caressed his tense muscles. A groan escaped his mouth. He loved Kate so much, and his insides yearned to take their relationship to another level.

"I just want to let it all go." Kate whispered. She bit on the tip of his ear, and then trailed heated kissed downwards to his neck. "I want you to see the real me."

"I've seen the real you," Jack said raising his mouth from hers.

"No, you haven't. I'm not always this empty shell that's in need of saving. I like to laugh sometimes, and have fun…and you've managed to bring that side back out of me." Her hands traced circles across his chest.

Jack ignored the signals his body was sending him and listened to Kate. He cared what she had to say, because his main goal had been to make her happy. A smile crossed his face as he watched her. The firelight from the candles illuminated one side of Kate's features while the other remained in the dark. She was so beautiful. Jack thought mesmerized.

"I want to…" Kate swallowed down a wad of nervousness, and then looked back at Jack for help.

"You want to what?" Jack asked his voice was heavy along with his breaths.

Kate smiled, she shook her head. "Um…just forget it,"

Jack reached for Kate's hands and pulled them behind his head. "I want to get closer to you, but if you don't want to then I…" He looked away nervously and then focused back on Kate.

A devious smile was spreading across her features. Stray strands of her hair danced wildly in the air as she looked down at him. "I think I'm finally ready, are you?"

Jack nodded, "The pillow gave me away huh?"  
"Just a little," Kate cupped Jack's chin in her hand and tilted his head upwards so she could have full access to his lips. His hand traveled down her back and he slipped his hand inside her shirt. Kate felt her body grow weak with longing as Jack stroked the skin along her stomach, causing a series of goose bumps to rise . She shivered as his other hand slipped inside her shirt. Jack caressed Kate's sides, and then pulled his hands out so he could hold her.

Kate looked back at him surprised.

Jack leaned forward and traced his mouth against Kate's cheek, and then her lips. "For the record you make me happy too."

Kate grinned and then pressed her lips against Jack's. His breath caught in her throat, but he gave in regardless. Jack raised his leg and Kate propped her arm against it as she sunk in deeper to his kisses.

"We don't have condoms," Jack said against Kate's cheek as she rested her face against his. Her breath against his flushed cheeks sent tremors through Jack's spine.

"We don't, but Sawyer does,"

"How do you know that?"

"I'm guilty of going through his stuff, I was looking for the ring." Kate lied.

Jack stroked Kate's shoulder. "Sawyer will never give one to us, and I'm not going to ask him."

Kate stood up, Jack winced at the loss of her body heat. He reached out for her arm. "I don't want you to ask him either, because he'll want something in return."

"Sawyer's not even here, before I came in the room, Taylor asked him to go to the beach with her and Chloe, so we have the house to ourselves."

Jack sat up with an expression of disbelief. "We have the place to ourselves?"

Kate nodded, "I'm not sure for how long though, but yeah…it's just you and me."

"Hurry back then, I'll be waiting right here for you," Jack replied.

* * *

Kate walked through the den first. There were no signs of Taylor, Sawyer or Chloe anywhere. A small part of her was relieved because she really wanted to be alone with Jack. There had been so much tension between them lately, and she needed to be close to him. A smile crossed her face at the thought of how easily Jack's soothing manner had chased away all worries about her nightmare. He just had that affect on her, and that's why she had fallen for him. Kate turned back around to walk towards Taylor's bedroom. She felt happy right now, and she could finally understand why. 

Once Kate stepped into the room, she made a straight path for Sawyer's bag. She felt guilty for going through Sawyer's stuff again, but she wasn't going to sleep with Jack without protection. Kate pulled Sawyer's magnum condoms out and took one. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably as she zipped the bag back up and tossed it back under the bed. Kate stood up. She still couldn't believe that tonight she was going to sleep with Jack. Hopefully he wasn't too experienced because she wanted their first time to be special, and the last thing she wanted to do was disappoint him. Kate thought it over as she walked into Taylor's bathroom. Who was she kidding, Jack seemed to be on the same sexual level as her. He seemed to grow timid just at a simple touch.

Kate placed down the condom on the sink, and then stared into the mirror. She took in a deep breath, and then looked back at her reflection hopefully. "After you sleep with him, there's no turning back, you're officially committed and you can't run anymore,"

Kate closed her eyes. She already knew that there was a connection between them, but as far as commitment went she wasn't as attached to Jack as he was to her. Kate leaned closer to the mirror, and ran her hands through her thick russet locks debating whether to keep her hair down or to put it up. Eventually she decided to leave her hair as it was. She scooped the condom off of the counter and then reached for some of Taylor's perfume. Kate felt like she was being foolish, but she wanted so badly for this to be perfect. She needed it to be. Kate squeezed the pump and allowed the mist to drift onto her neck, clothes and her wrist.

* * *

Jack fluffed the pillows behind his back and watched the door in anticipation. He looked away nervously because he was eager to sleep with Kate, but yet he didn't want to be too obvious. Clearing his throat, Jack tried to concentrate on something else besides the door. Jack stared around the room, his eyes rested on Kate's journal first. A smile crossed his face at the thought of her writing about him. He knew that if he did carry a journal that she would be on every page. Kate had so many qualities that he loved in which he could write about. His heart started to beat rapidly as the door slowly creaked open. Jack shifted his body sideways, and tried to appear occupied with watching the candles flicker and sway. 

Jack could smell the sweet scent of perfume drift towards his nose. Kate smelled so damn good. He rested his arm against his leg which was slightly raised, and turned to look at Kate.

The world stopped as their eyes connected. Shadows from the candles danced on the walls, and Kate was bathed in a warm orange glow. Jack sat up eagerly. He couldn't help but to shake his head in disbelief. After loving her for so long, tonight was finally the night.

Kate looked down and then looked back up. "Could you come over here?"

"Yeah," Jack said quickly. He found himself crawling towards her across the sheets. Nothing else even mattered to him anymore, except for this moment. Once he reached the end of the bed, Jack swung his legs over and he was on the floor standing.

Kate waved the condom in her hand. "Magnum?"

Jack scratched his forehead while he tried desperately to hide the smile that had given him away. "Yeah,"

Kate blushed, she reached out for Jack's arm.

Jack clenched his jaw as Kate pulled him towards her. His eyes closed as Kate traveled her hand down his arm, pausing to place the condom in his outstretched hand. Jack opened his eyes, Kate had already started to kiss him. Her hand was planted against his chest, and he felt himself starting to rise in excitement.

Kate wrapped her arms around Jack's neck and then stood on the tips of her toes to get better access to him.

Jack stumbled backwards as Kate kissed him passionately. She pushed him backwards onto the bed. He stared back at her flustered and needy for more of her contact.

She reached for her hair with one hand and held her thick locks above her head. Jack gripped the sheets as he watched her slowly walk closer to him. She released her hair seconds later. Thick chocolate tresses spilled down her back as she reached for the bottom portion of her shirt.

Jack's mouth dropped as Kate pulled her shirt over her head. A pool of candles surrounded her figure as she swung the shirt over her head. Completely entranced by the sight of Kate's black bra he didn't have a chance to react when her shirt landed on his face. His head tilted back as he inhaled the sweet scent of her perfume. Jack raised his hand and pulled the shirt down to his lap. "Need some help?" He offered in an unsteady tone.

Kate nodded, "Yeah,"

He got back up and walked over to her like a puppy after his owner. Jack traced his hands along Kate's freckled shoulders, and then leaned forward to kiss her neck. She smelled like some exotic flower, and as he inhaled her scent with every kiss, Jack's arousal increased. Kate gripped onto Jack's back and slowly started to walk him towards the bed. He collapsed onto the bed with his arms outstretched. Kate rested her leg against the bed and placed both of her hands on Jack's shoulders. He groaned as she lowered herself onto him. Her skin was sweltering against his own, and every time her hands touched his skin he felt electric shocks zap his flesh.

The wind whistled outside in excitement, and tree branches scraped against the windows.

Jack traced the outline of Kate's shorts, her stomach was firm to the touch. He gave her shorts a gentle tug and started to pull them down her legs. Kate shifted her head to the right and started to side kiss Jack's mouth.

Her eyelashes tickled at his skin, and he started to drift off into another world as he felt Kate pull down his boxers. Jack was now exposed and the only thing that stood between him and Kate was the sexy black panties that fit snugly around her waist. Jack swallowed down a wad of nervousness as he started to slip her panties down. His hazel eyes shifted towards her alluring gaze. "If you don't want to do this then we don't have too." He would wait for Kate forever. Yes, he wanted this, but if Kate didn't, then Jack couldn't enjoy this moment.

Kate remained silent.

Jack felt himself swelling at the feel of Kate against him. "Kate, we don't have too…"

"I need for this to feel real."

Jack clenched his jaw as he looked down. He tried to get up so Kate wouldn't have to watch how excited he was, but Kate planted him firmly against the bed. She drew in a breath and then started to speak.

"I love you Jack, and just the fact that I can admit that aloud without feeling entirely ridiculous speaks volumes, I was unsure about you at first."

Jack placed his hands against Kate's face. He focused on her with a gaze filled with adoration.

"I'm not used to people looking at me like that," Kate confessed with a soft laugh.

"Like what?" Jack asked running his hands through her tousled locks.

"Like that, so in love, like I'm some kind of angel."

"You are," Jack said.

Kate laughed, "Funny,"

"I think so," Jack dropped his arms back down on the cinnamon colored comforter, and tried to ignore the second wave of need and desire washing over his anxious body.

"Maybe we should turn on some music or something just in case we're…"

"Too loud?" Jack finished.

Kate nodded, "Yeah," She crawled off of Jack and sauntered over to the radio. With a gentle flick of her wrist the room was flooded with an instrumental beat. The base bounced off the walls with soft rhythms of drums, harmoniously mixed in with chimes. Kate shrugged, and then walked back over to Jack. She reached for the condom which was still held tightly in his hand. Jack stroked her fingers softly as he opened it.

Kate turned away as Jack slid it on.

The room was engulfed in a sensuous vanilla scent highlighted by a pleasant underlying aroma of gingerbread cookies. Wax dropped onto the sides of the glasses that held the candles, and the fire leaped higher. The window was slightly cracked and a breeze wafted in causing the sapphire colored curtains to billow.

Jack held his breath as he and Kate became one. She gripped onto his arms, and her hands traced along the outer edges of his tattoos. Feelings of emotional ecstasy coursed through his body as he crashed into her. Kate dug her nails into his skin leaving temporary scars the shade of crimson. As he looked up into her eyes flashbacks of times they had spent together raced through his mind. Her mouth lowered over Jack's mouth and she started to kiss him feverishly.

Wax traveled further down the candles. The wind picked up outside and rushed onto their bodies. The beat of the drums picked up in the background and the wind chimes died. A piano intro lapped over the deep beat of the drums, and a soft but yet steady sound of poring rain captured the room.

Kate's hair fell over Jack's face as she leaned forward to kiss him. He felt as if his soul had become one with hers, after all this time, he was finally able to show her just how much he cared. Jack made sure to be gentle with her. A smile crossed his face as he looked back at her. Kate was happy, and his purpose was fulfilled. Jack stroked her face and brought his lips down more firmly on hers.

As Kate kissed him harder and trailed her hands against the outer linings of his muscles, Jack felt his body tighten and grow rigid. Serenity washed over him as he released all of his emotions, disguised in shades of desire, love and care for Kate.

Kate collapsed against Jack's chest. She now smelled strongly of his cologne, and the perfume she wore earlier was mixed in with the beads of sweat along Jack's chest and legs. They struggled to catch their breath, and Kate rolled off of him.

Jack sat up, he rested his elbow against the pillow and smiled back at her.

Kate's cheeks flushed a deep shade of scarlet, "What do you think of me now? Not the same angel anymore huh?"

Jack reached forward to tuck a strand of Kate's unruly hair behind her ear. Candlelight danced across her cheekbones, and illuminated her beautiful smile which Jack barely got the pleasure of seeing so often until now. He then traced his thumb along her lips. "Do you really want me to tell you what I think of you?"

Kate crawled underneath the comforters and nodded.

"I think that I want you to marry me." Jack whispered.

Kate laughed.

"I'm serious, I didn't think it was possible to fall any harder for you, but you proved me wrong. I've never felt the way I do now,"

"Never?" Kate asked.

Jack nodded, "Never," He pulled Kate into his arms and rested his head against her shoulders. "I love you so much it should be a sin."

"You don't want to marry me."

"Yes, I do." Jack said kissing her ear and then her cheek. "I put a lot on the line already, and truthfully I don't want any of it back, all I want is you," He leaned away from Kate and searched her eyes, "And all I could do is hope that you want me just as much."

Tears welled in Kate's eyes as she listened to Jack's incredibly romantic but yet sappy banter. She was scared that sleeping with Jack would cause her to create more distance between them, but he had proved her wrong. Jack had captured her soul and made her feel emotions that she never knew she had. "Jack,"

"Kate," He whispered.

"I want to marry you too…one day."

He placed his hands behind Kate's head and brought her face to his. "Tell me where I stand."

"What?" Kate asked.

Jack bit his lip. "Are we still just friends or…" He looked around the room a couple of candles had been blown out by the wind, but a few still burned with soft yellow halos of light. "Or are we um…together?"

Kate thought it over. Joy washed over her. Her smile spread slowly across her face, and she ran her fingers along the edge of Jack's jaw. "You're mine…and I'm yours."

( So Jack and Kate are finally together, Thanks so much for reviewing **Sawyerz babe, Sarah, Angel, Sunny102, Lindsay,** **Charlielover1313, Orlando-crazy**(thankyou for the compliment!) **Delee, Rain1657, Oct** (Stalker is right, and good guess on the KTKT), **Jillian, and Nikki-da-latina**, (Your work is so good, are you kidding me? I can't wait to see more.) School is really hectic so I will probably update again next Monday, take care.)


	9. Shiver

Chapter 9- Shiver

Edward Mars sat back in the stiff hotel chair, with a remote in one hand as he aimlessly flipped through television channels. He placed it down once he reached a crime alert station for the area of Virginia Beach, Virginia. Edward had no idea where Kate Austen was but according to some witnesses, a woman that fit Kate's description had been sighted with two men around the Virginia area. He clenched his jaw as he watched the mug shots of criminals flash against the screen. Kate had slipped through his fingers more times than he could count, but he wasn't going to let her get away. People like her didn't deserve to be free, they deserved to be miserable, confined, and if he had it his way, dead. A wicked smile crossed his face. But it wasn't his job to kill her; all he had to do was bring her to justice. His frosty blue eyes traveled around the hotel room, and then he glanced outside onto the boardwalk below. Couples strolled merrily together hand in hand, and kids laughed as they pedaled their bicycles on the stretch adjacent to the boardwalk. He stood up and walked towards the balcony door, the smell of the salty Atlantic wafted to his nose mixed in with crisp air. Edward reached into his pocket and took out a box of cigarettes while observing the picturesque setting.

"To think she could possibly be somewhere right under my nose." Edward shook his head in disdain. He took a drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke out into the darkness surrounding him. He knew that Kate had already worked her charms on the two men she was with. He grinned. If only they knew what kind of woman she really was, and what she was really capable of. Up until now he had no reason to believe that she would hurt them, but if her life or freedom was in jeopardy then he knew she would sacrifice them in a heartbeat. Kate was smart, attractive and not to mention dangerous. He knew what she was capable of, and that's why he had dedicated his life these last couple of years to finding her.

His phone rang inside. Edward carelessly tossed the cigarette over the balcony and then strolled back into the dimly lit room. He snatched up the cell and flipped it open. "Edward Mars speaking."

There was a pause, and then an overly cheerful tone spilled through the receiver. "Hello, so I finally get to talk to the man behind the fugitive,"

Edward paused where he stood. "Excuse me,"

"You did want to be reached at this number, correct?"

"Who am I speaking to?" Edward asked as he walked over to the drawer to pull out a small notepad on top of a bible, and a pen close by. "Can I have your name?"

"Kate,"

Edward looked up in confusion and then scratched his head in thought. "No, not her name, what is yours."

"Tom,"

Edward sighed. "Do you know you could get in a great deal of trouble for making prank calls…"

The guy on the other end chuckled. His tone grew low and eerie, "What makes you think this is a prank call? Are you trying to insinuate that the love Kate and Tom shared was a prank…are you trying to say that dead man she just slept with deserves her more."

Edward placed down the pen. He had dealt with more than his share of lunatics claiming to have spotted Kate Austen in order to get the 23,000 dollar reward, but up until now he had gotten nothing like this. "I don't think you've spotted her, I'm a busy man I don't have time to…"

"You think I'm lying…Edward?"

"I think we're talking about different people here, Unless you have some actual information for me to go on then I'm going to…"

"She sits with Caroline underneath the Eastern Glow, tar is on her heels and Dogwoods bloom in the fields, look for her there, but she might be gone."

"Your giving me riddles now? I don't have time for this shit." Edward pulled the phone away from his ear, and got ready to end the call.

"Wait,"

Edward hesitantly placed the phone back to his ear. His face was red with anger, and he was ready to give the psycho on the other end a slur of curse words, but he stopped himself remembering that he was supposed to retain a calm demeanor. He clenched his hands and then released his tension. "Where is she, if you think you know John Doe."

"I don't think I know, I do know. As long as I have followed Kate's story it would be instant death for me to not recognize my Katie when I see her in person. She's here, I'm watching her…and I'm watching him to."

"Who is him?" Edward asked sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Kate calls him Jack…but I call him _dead_."

Edward's mouth dropped open, he was starting to believe that this guy was serious. "Is there another man with them?"

"Tall, blonde hair, built…and his name is Sawyer."

"If you do in fact know whereKate is then why don't you tell me when there is money involved?"

"Desperate now aren't we Edward…tsk, tsk, tsk, what makes you think the 23,000 dollar reward is more important than Kate?"

"You called me to turn her in didn't you."

"That's where your wrong, why would I turn her in when all I want is to be with her, and who knew that when she and Sawyer killed that man, my wildest of dreams would've came true."

"Killed a man?"

There was a pause on the other end. "Oh I'm sorry, I guess I forgot to tell you." He chuckled, and then his tone grew serious. "They hit a man, and then Sawyer tossed the body into the river…funny, that he'll floating down that same river."

"You need help." Edward said cautiously. He stood up and then walked over to the hotel phone. "No one needs to get hurt."

"So you believe me now."

Edward declined to comment.

"They're with a woman and her child, I guess they don't give a shit about who's lives thereputting in danger. Well I gotta go it was nice chatting with you Eddie, but I have to take care of him."

"Take care of who?" Edward asked with concern.

"Jack." The phone died.

* * *

"Kate Shepard, I like the sound of that." Jack said with a smile.

Kate laughed and then playfully punched Jack in his arm. "Since you'll be _my _partner in crime, I only think it's fitting that you go by Jack Austen."

Jack glanced at Kate with a raised eyebrow. He opened his mouth to respond, but Kate leaned forward to give him a kiss. He suddenly lost track of what he was going to say. Kate leaned away seconds later, and then traced her hands against Jack's jaw.

"If I do get married one day…"

"You will… and it will be to me." Jack replied with a know it all grin which was more like Sawyer than him.

A smile crossed her face. Jack seemed cocky now, and maybe he had reason to be because she had just showed him how much she cared about him. They just slept together, and Kate felt closer to him than ever. "If I do get married…to you, then I don't see myself being called Kate Shepard, I'll either keep Austen, or you're going to have to change your last name to mine."

"You have a funny way of thinking."

Kate dragged her hands downwards and placed her hand on his chest. "Take it or leave it."

"I'll take." Jack said wrapping his arms around Kate and then pulling her to him. "Mr. Austen."

Kate's smile widened, "That's a nickname you can keep, it's a thousand times less sappy than Honey," She pushed Jack down onto the bed. Jack's arms flopped outwards against the ruffled sheets."I could go again."

Jack smiled excitedly, "I think I'm starting to see that _other_ side of you."

Kate trailed her hand down Jack's chest and then got on top of him straddling his waist. She rubbed her hands against his chest, and then moved upwards teasing the skin around his shoulders and neck.

"They'll be back soon." Jack whispered.

"I know," Kate said softly, she said collapsing against him. "I love you,"

"I see the "L" word has become easier for you." He ran his hands through Kate's hair and then planted a kiss on her cheek. "When we wake up in the morning are you going to deny sleeping with me?"

"Yes, if anyone finds out."

Jack scowled.

Kate kissed the top of his nose. "But I won't deny it to you, Sawyer doesn't need to know about this, and neither does Taylor."

"We're good at keeping secrets."

"I know I am," Kate replied.

Jack watched her curiously, but he had promised himself a while ago that he wasn't going to be suspicious of Kate's history anymore, all that mattered was she was safe, and that he loved her. He turned his head to the side as Kate rested her cheek against his. "I wonder where they went too."

Jack wrapped an arm casually around Kate's waist. "Are you really going to sleep on top of me,"

"Okay, I'll roll off…" Kate attempted to get off of Jack, but he grabbed her arm.

"I don't think you understood me, I wasn't objecting." He narrowed his eyes back at Kate playfully. "The heat's on low, and I'm cold."

"Me too," Kate said.

"But if you sleep on top of me, then I get your body heat…with the addition of the covers, so it works out better that way."

Kate bit her lip, "Are you going to sleep yet,"

Jack adjusted his body underneath Kate's. "No, because I want to talk."

Kate gasped, "Talk after sex? What kind of guy are you?" She laughed and then buried her head in the crook of his arm. "I was just kidding, but I'm not a comedian so…"

"I'm not a comedian either, and for the record I'm different than most guys."

"I know," Kate said wrapping her arms around Jack's neck and pushing herself upwards.

Jack smiled, "You should stop."

Kate grinned, "Because I'm making you excited?"

Jack chuckled and looked away as his cheeks grew bright red. "That's a way to put it."

Kate cupped Jack's chin in her hand forcing him to look at her, "You don't have to be shy around me anymore…Mr. Austen."

Jack laughed, "Kate Shepard."

Kate made a teasing angry expression his way. "Last time I checked I was the fugitive and you Sir, was my hostage."

"I haven't thought of you as a fugitive in long time, and I don't want to go back to that way of thought."

Kate looked away, and a saddened expression crossed her face briefly. "I am what I am."

Jack gently stroked the side of Kate's face, "You were a fugitive when I first met you, but that was before all of this, I think I know you a lot better than anyone chasing after you."

Her cheeks flushed with warmth as she looked down at Jack. By his expression Kate could tell that he meant every word of what he had just said.

"I mean it," Jack reassured.

"I know,"

* * *

He smiled in satisfaction. Edward was smart enough to put two and two together, and realize that Kate was hiding out in North Carolina. He flipped on the light switch as he entered the cellar. His boots creaked on the wooden steps as he walked down. The cellar was drafty and the wind whistled between the cracks in the wall. His favorite vinyl record was playing in the background causing the soothing sounds of classical tunes to invade the room, wash over him, and make him feel relaxed. He looked around for the red container that was marked with FLAMMABLE in bold letters.

The tune changed. He smiled at the song which always reminded him of Christmas. And he liked Christmas, because according to a website Kate's DOB was 12/25. He hummed to himself as he scooped up the box of matches. Christmas this year was going to be the best, because that's when he was going to take her. Too bad that Jack had to die earlier, he already had it planned out in his mind. Kate would go with him on Christmas, and then he would take care of her, and make sure she was always happy. And he knew that Kate would be happy, because he was as close to Tom as possible. No he wasn't _close_ to Tom…he was Tom, and Kate was going to fall back in love with him.

He reached for a list on his desk which read "Timmy's Wish List" up top. He crossed out Timmy and then he substituted Timmy for Tom. Underneath the title read, _1.) Get rid of Jack…ways to kill him? Want to make him suffer…fire. 2.) Sawyer…don't care for him too much, he seems to like to torture Kate so maybe I should torture him. Options for his disposal…bury him alive…I like that one. 3.) The blonde, she has to die by association along with the kid, and last but not least, before all of this I will take KATE._

"Well it looks like there will have to be a change of plans…Jack dies first, Bye bastard."

* * *

Sawyer and Taylor walked along the beach.

Taylor bent down to pick up a seashell, and then handed it to Sawyer. He looked down at the seashell with disgust and then raised an eyebrow in her direction.

"What are you giving me this for?"

"It's pretty, I thought we could collect some…fine," Taylor reached for the pink shell with hints of a white around the edges, but Sawyer pulled it back. "I thought it was dumb?"

Sawyer glanced down the beach where Chloe was skipping along merrily. "Who goes to the beach late at night like this?"

"Me and my daughter, I like the beach better at night. The waves are calm, and not to mention how beautiful it is when the moon shines down right on the water." Taylor tilted her head to the side. "I've always had a thing for beaches, it's just something about the atmosphere."

"I know you always liked em'," Sawyer said to himself as he tucked the seashell into his pocket.

Taylor watched him pocket the seashell with a smile. "So you do like it."

"It's for the kid…I'll give it to her for Christmas."

Taylor laughed and playfully pushed Sawyer away from her. "I think Chloe will appreciate that, so are you still going to be with us for Christmas?"

"I dunno, why don't you find one of them psychics and ask them."

Taylor looked down and then clasped her hands together. "I hope you're still here by then, I mean I know I'm being silly because you, Kate and Jack are running away from something, and I don't know what it is, but I do know that I like having you around."

"Bullshit," Sawyer groaned.

Taylor stopped in her tracks. She grabbed onto the edge of Sawyer's sleeve and then forced him to stop as well. "I want you to stay, but I understand that you can't."

"I don't get you ya know that. Why the hell would you want me to stay after the way I treat you?"

"How do you treat me."

"Badly." Sawyer said quickly.

Taylor shook her head, "Are you trying to convince me or yourself of that?"

Sawyer kicked at the sand, and then turned to walk towards the sea, but Taylor pulled him back towards her. "What do you want from me?" He groaned.

"I just want you to be okay."

"Then put a candy cane and a big ol' teddy bear in my Christmas stocking puddin."

"James," Taylor said softly.

Sawyer stared back at her in confusion. It took him a couple of seconds to process the fact that she had just called him by his real name. Sawyer allowed his arm to relax in her grasp. He looked down at the damp sand underneath his boots solemnly and then looked back into Taylor's clear blue eyes.

"I know what you're trying to do, and it's not working on me. You did the same thing in high-school but I always saw through the façade. You're not a bad guy Sawyer…"

"Yeah, I am."

Taylor shook her head, "No you're not."

"I don't have time for this…"

"If you're so bad then why did you send me money after you left Tennessee? You could've just left and never looked back, but you didn't."

"I left you when I said I would take you with me, and I only sent the money for six months, and then I stopped. What's so damn good about that?"

"I never cared about the money…I still have it you know."

Sawyer looked down.

"And you can have it…I guess I was just being selfish and I didn't want you to leave yet," Taylor gently swiped aside a strand of hair away from her eye. "So if it makes you feel any better then most of the money I used for the clothes is yours' anyways."

Sawyer struggled with the information Taylor had just given him. So there was a way out, they did have money, but then again he had given it to her. "That money is yours."

"No," Taylor said shaking her head.

Sawyer nodded, "I gave it to you, and I don't want it back."

"Don't be foolish, I'm going to give it back to you," Taylor bit her lip, and then sighed as she watched Chloe stand close to the waves and then run away as they broke onto shore. "Chloe really cares about you."

Sawyer groaned, "All this caring is makin' me feel like I'm stuck on a damn episode of Oprah, do I get a free car too?"

"No, I'm sorry." Taylor said with a smile.

Sawyer crossed his arm as a cold breeze blew past. "Why did you call me James?"

"Because I saw that letter, the one you had tucked away in your bag, I always knew your name wasn't Sawyer, and I wanted to ask why you went by it, but I never did and now…"

"Now you know," Sawyer grunted.

"I apologize for going through your stuff."

"I'm assuming you were looking for some clothes to wash ain't that right?"

Taylor nodded, "Well that's one reason, because you always wear the same clothes and you don't let me wash them, but I also was looking for something."

"Lookin for what?"

"That gun,"

Sawyer clenched his jaw, "So you knew about it too?"

"It was gone by the time I got to your bag,"

"Because Kate done went and hid it from me." Sawyer said looking away.

"You need to let it all go Sawyer." Taylor reached for his arm and slid her hand down to his. "I'm sure you've went through this with Kate, and I apologize for getting in your face when you don't want to talk but I…"

"You care dontcha." He had meant for it to come out in a nasty tone, but his gentle tone gave him away. Sawyer cursed himself under his breath, the truth was he was very vulnerable right now, and Taylor wasn't helping.

She looked back at him with big eyes. Sawyer felt that she really did care about him. He wanted to argue with her, but then again he needed someone to be there for him. Sawyer clenched his jaw as he felt himself leaning forward. He couldn't explain what was coming over him, except for the fact that a small part of him wanted to confide in Taylor and believe that she could help him put the pieces of his life back together.

* * *

"Are you hungry?" Kate asked.

Jack nodded, "Ice cream?"

"Hot chocolate," Kate suggested instead.

Jack nodded once again.

The power died, and the lights went out with a low buzz.

Jack sat up and Kate rolled off of him. There one knock at the door, then two knocks, and a couple more followed afterwards.

"You stay here," Jack advised.

Kate shook her head, "No way, I'm not letting you go out there by yourself." She grabbed onto Jack's arm and then pulled him back down onto the bed with her.

"I'll be fine, it's probably just Taylor, Sawyer and Chloe,"

"Taylor has keys," Kate pointed out.

"Maybe she forgot them." Jack suggested standing up once again.

Kate let her hand collapse onto the bed, as she watched Jack's silhouette disappear out of the room. A shudder traveled up her spine as she glanced outside. "Jack come back," Kate whispered standing up and following after him.

(Thanks everyone for the reviews last chapter! I was very pleased with the feedback on last chapter. It's really late and I have class tomorrow so I'm going to be quick. The guy after Kate his name is Timmy...he is not Tom, because Tom is dead. I'm going to try to update on Saturday...because I want to get Sawyer, Kate and Jack ready for Thanksgiving next Thursday...so I need to quickly pick up where this chapter left off! Thanks again...Peace.)


	10. Undone at the Seams

Chapter 10- Undone at the Seams

"Kate, just let me check outside," Jack asked.

"Are you crazy?" Kate asked seriously. She could make out Jack's head turning towards her in the darkness. He made a move to approach the door, but Kate grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards her. Jack underestimated her strength, even though she was just 5'5, and weighed less than him, she was stronger than she looked, especially when she had to be. "Let me check it out,"

Jack glanced towards the door. Kate's words had went through one ear and out the other. He was forced to focus his eyes back on her when she dug her nails into his arm. "If someone is really out there, then they would've killed us by now, just let me…"

Kate stepped in front of Jack as she slowly inched towards the door.

"Kate,"

"Shh," She whispered. Before she could move any closer, Jack was right behind her. He wrapped his arms around her small waist and then pulled her back. "Hey…"

"Listen to me Kate, go back to the room and lock the door."

"C'mon Jack, you're acting like Michael Myers or some serial killer is out there, it's not that serious…and if anyone should go into the room and lock the door it's you,"

"Me,"

"I have to protect you." Kate said very seriously.

Jack looked towards the door once again. They had gotten sidetracked. The door creaked as gusts of air caused it to open wider and then close. "Protect me?" He asked with a snort.

"Yes…"

"We'll talk about this later, just let me check it out." Jack sidestepped around Kate and reached out doorknob. Kate was still behind him, but she didn't try to stop him this time.

"Do you see anything?" Kate asked in a shaky tone.

Jack remained silent. He stepped out onto the porch, the house was blanketed in fog, and the porch was slippery with ice. He nearly tripped, but Kate lunged forwards and grabbed his arm.

"Be careful," She advised.

Jack turned around to face Kate, her eyes were heavy with concern and Jack couldn't help but to notice a quick trace of fear wash over her face. He slowly eased his arm out of Kate's hand and tried to usher her back inside. "You said it's nothing to worry about right."

"I did but…"

Jack slid his hand down Kate's arm and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "Then go ahead inside and…"

"Did you take the gun Jack?"

Jack blinked in confusion. "The gun? What gun Kate?"

She looked away quickly realizing that Jack still had no idea about Sawyer's gun. "Oh um…just forget it,"

Jack raised an eyebrow, but he decided to leave his curiosity alone. "Go inside,"

Kate groaned as Jack forced her in. He closed the door, and then walked around the porch. There was no way Kate was going to let him be outside by himself. Not only did all they have bad histories with woods, but she was still positive that someone had taunted her and Sawyer about the accident. Kate looked around the darkened den, she needed a weapon just in case someone was really out there, but now she wanted Sawyer's gun more than ever. Kate didn't like guns, but she felt like they needed something to protect themselves, because they were in constant danger.

Kate heard something tapping on the window. "Jack?"

There was no response.

She quickly reached out for a lamp, and then she paused realizing how paranoid she had grown within the last couple of days. Kate took in a deep breath, and watched as Jack walked around the side of the house. He was still shirtless, so she knew he was freezing. Kate ran to the back quickly, grabbed a sweater for Jack and then ran out the door. She looked around the side of the house where she had just seen him, and then Kate walked around the perimeter. "Jack, where are you?" Kate whispered. She then realized that if someone was after them then they would both be dead by now, so maybe Sawyer, Taylor and Chloe just didn't close the door before they left. Kate bit her lip. As badly as she wanted to believe that, she did remember the door being shut earlier.

"Jack!"

Kate heard the sound of cracking twigs and the crunching of autumn leaves in the background. She jerked her head around swiftly and then stared out into the dark abyss of the woods with wide eyes. Jack wouldn't go into the woods. He had no reason too. Kate took in a deep breath as she felt her legs start to grow weak and numb from the 30 degree temperature. She didn't like going into the woods late at night, because she always thought someone was in there watching her. Kate winced at the frightening thought. What if the Marshal had found her? But if he did, then why would he sneak around when he could arrest her on the spot. After giving it some more thought Kate ruled him out, and Sawyer's "friends" didn't seem to be the game type of people either, so maybe she was going crazy.

"Jack, where are you," Kate forced herself to walk. She held on tightly to his sweater as if the piece of clothing was him itself. "You're scaring me now, where are you?" Fear registered across Kate's face when she got no response, she saw a flash of light ricochet off of the trees in the forest. "Jack?"

Kate inched closer towards the clearing. She contemplated turning around and running back inside, but what if Jack had went in deeper. "1…2…" With each number Kate took a step. The light flashed once more. It looked like a flashlight but she didn't remember Jack grabbing a flashlight on his way out. Kate shook her head as she stopped in her tracks. She couldn't go any further. The light dimmed.

Kate's eyes widened in fear, she turned around to run back into Taylor's house, but someone grabbed her from behind. She tried to scream but a hand was clamped over her mouth. The other hand tightened around her arm and she was pulled towards someone.

"What is that?" Jack whispered in her ear.

Kate reached for Jack's hand around her mouth pulling it down by her waist in relief. "I don't know,"

"Go ahead inside and…"

"Stop trying to get rid of me Jack!" Kate exclaimed.

"Shh!" Jack said looking back at Kate with wide eyes. He pulled her behind him and walked towards the area where they had seen the light. Kate grabbed his arm, and promptly pulled the sweater over his head. He looked back at her incredulously, "I think getting a cold is the least of my worries,"

Kate pushed her way in front of him. "Now that we're "dating" if that's what you want to call it, you're going to have to deal with this,"

"I don't see the light anymore, maybe it's just someone playing games, think about it…if they wanted to kill us, then they would've done it already."

Kate bit her lip, "Let's still go check it out just in case,"

"Okay," Jack replied hesitantly. He watched Kate from the side of his eyes and then shook his head. "Why do you feel the need to protect me, I can take care of myself and you…"

"We'll talk about this later," Kate said quickly.

They came across the spot where the light had been shining. There were no signs of anyone close by, and everything seemed normal.

"Someone was just playing games," Jack concluded. He sighed and then looked around for the last time. "I don't think it's anything to worry about,"

"Let's just go back inside." Kate suggested.

"On one condition,"

Kate looked down at Jack's sweater which was pulled halfway down over his stomach, she smiled and then pulled it down all the way. "See how easily we get worked up,"

"Well with everything that we've been through, I think we have reason." Jack placed his hands on Kate's shoulders, "No more diving in front of me and trying to be the hero,"

"And let you hog all of the spotlight?"

"What can I say, I'm selfish. Let's see if we can find the circut box before Taylor gets back."

"It's in the attic,"

As they headed back towards the house, Kate couldn't help but to turn around one last time. They stepped inside and Kate quickly closed the door behind them. "Go ahead upstairs, get undressed and I'll bring the candles."

"What?" Jack said with a smile.

"I was trying to alleviate some of the weirdness of this situation," She placed her hand on Jack's arm, "But once again I'm not skilled in the comedy area, so I probably just made things worse."

"I have an idea,"

"Love to hear it," Kate said softly.

Jack smiled and pulled Kate close to him. "I heard Taylor say that she and Chloe put up the Christmas tree on December 1st."

Kate nodded, she smiled briefly at the thought of searching for the perfect tree with her real father, and then her thoughts faded. "I stopped celebrating Christmas after a while,"

Jack reached for Kate's hand and brought her towards the room, "Grinch huh?"

"I had a reason to be,"

Jack turned to look back at Kate, but she gave him a nonchalant shrug. "Maybe our situation might remain normal for a little longer, and Christmas won't be so bad this year." He chuckled, "Well after nearly getting run off a bridge by the "mafia", getting a bullet taken out of my arm by a nail filer…"

Kate winced, "Our first real contact."

Jack shook his head, "No, our first real contact was when Sawyer handcuffed us together in…Hailey's house."

"I think I liked you then,"

"Did you?" Jack asked with a smirk. It was amazing how quickly they were able to change topics, especially after being so shaken up before.

"I went through a lot that day…we all did." Kate reached for a candle on the floor and Jack grabbed the matches on the press. "You reminded me of someone I cared about."

"Cared about, do you not care about them anymore?" Jack struck the match against the box. An orange spark illuminated the room and flickered around as Kate brought the candle closer.

"He's dead,"

"Tom?"

Kate closed her eyes. "I know I brought it up but…"

Jack immediately sensed that Kate wanted to change the topic. "Tell me when you're ready, let's go find the circuit box, and then paint some Christmas ornaments."

"Paint some Christmas ornaments?"

"I figure that if Taylor is letting us stay here until we get back on our feet then the least we can do is make some ornaments for the tree, because we can't exactly pay her back yet."

"I know," Kate made her way towards the attic with the candle in hand while Jack followed close behind. "Is the door locked?"

"I locked it before we went to get the candle,"

Kate smiled, "Good,"

They took the stairs to the attic, and then Kate took Jack to the circuit box. Jack opened the box, and started to play around with the switches. A couple of seconds later the house was bathed in soft yellow light.

Kate blew out the candle. "Oh wow,"

"What?" Jack closed the circuit box and turned around to survey the attic, he stepped back in surprise. The floor was covered with boxes of small glass ornaments, and Styrofoam balls. "How big is the tree?"

Kate laughed, "I'll do one."

"You will?"

She nodded and then lowered herself onto the floor. "Just one," Kate reached for two Styrofoam balls, she handed one to Jack and then kept one for herself. "Glitter, paint or…"

"Lace," Jack teased.

"Lace? Where?"

Jack reached out and traced his fingers along Kate's shoulder. "Right there,"

Kate smiled, "Forget the Christmas ornaments, we can worry about that after Thanksgiving, I want to do something else."

"Me too," Jack planted his hands against the floor and leaned in to kiss Kate. She accepted immediately wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. "Did you want me to check outside one last time?"

"No, I just want you to stay right here," Kate said slipping her hands inside Jack's sweater and squeezing his sides, "I don't want to think about anyone playing tricks, or lights in the woods…I just want to focus on us."

Jack looked up. "Maybe I should check one last time."

"Not unless you want me to tie you up in the attic so I can monitor your every move."

Jack focused back on Kate with a charming smile, "Tie me up in the attic, while watching my every move, what kind of game are we playing?"

Kate smiled and placed her forehead against Jack's. She looked deep into his eyes and then leaned forward to steal a kiss. "I could go for another round,"

"I could go for three more rounds."

Kate's mouth dropped and she narrowed her eyes back at Jack as she shook her head. "We should've waited, because now…" She looked down and then started to work Jack's sweater over his head.

He grinned foolishly and then raised his arms. Kate leaned in closer and successfully pulled off the sweater.

"I have an idea. When I was a kid I used to lock myself up in my room hours at a time to paint, because I used to love painting, and it also relieved a lot of stress,"

Jack nodded. He listened to Kate as she spoke vividly about her love for painting. "I would've never guessed that you like to paint."

"I used too, but I haven't in a couple of years, well obviously because my lifestyle doesn't exactly give me vacation breaks." Kate laughed, "So can I paint you?"

"Sure,"

Kate tickled Jack's stomach. "Your body is going to be my canvas though."

* * *

Sawyer found himself bringing Taylor closer to him. He leaned forward and his eyes closed. The waves crashed onto the sand and sprayed droplets of sea water onto them. Sawyer clutched on tighter to Taylor's lavender coat as his nose rubbed against hers. He knew he shouldn't kiss her, because she was the last woman he wanted to lead on. Taylor was too sweet, he would corrupt her, and not only that, but he wasn't staying in North Carolina. Sawyer's troubled thoughts were silenced when Taylor placed her hands against his face. He opened his mouth to tell her not to kiss him, but it was too late. Her lips were soft, and inviting, and immediately he wanted more. Sawyer wasn't used to her kisses, soft and tender, and filled with love. That should've been enough motivation for him to push her away. Taylor honestly cared about him, and Sawyer didn't want to waste her time. With shaking hands he reached for her shoulder. "We should stop…"

She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "I'm sorry I just…"

"Forget it, I…" Sawyer looked down at his shoes, "I'm not a relationship kinda guy sweetheart."

"I know that, I just got so wrapped up in…" She blushed, "I'm so embarrassed, I'm sorry Sawyer."

"Don't be sorry," He grabbed onto her coat tighter. Once Sawyer realized that she had let him go, but he was still holding onto her he loosened his grip. "It's not your fault…" He searched around for a cocky comment, "It's not your fault that I have that effect on women, what can I say except for the fact that I'm mouth-watering."

Taylor nodded in embarrassment; she looked down as a gust of wind blew her hair out of place.

Sawyer clenched his jaw. He liked Taylor, but if he had it his way then she would never know that. "I think we should head back."

"Yeah," Taylor added quickly. She seemed to be debating whether she should say something or not. Her mouth opened and then she looked away.

"What d'ya got to say?"

"Oh nothing,"

"It's right on the tip of you're tongue, you know it."

Taylor waved it off, "Chloe, are you ready to go?"

"Are you and Sawyer ready," Chloe yelled back. She had obviously seen the brief kiss between her mother and Sawyer.

"Yes," Taylor answered quickly. She signaled for Chloe to join them and then turned around to head back to the truck.

Sawyer closed his eyes and shoved his hands into his pockets. A chilly breeze blew past snapping him back to his senses. Sawyer looked up to the sky, the moon beamed down with a radiant light down onto the Atlantic and the damp sand. He shook his head as he trudged towards the truck. Taylor turned around.

Sawyer stopped where he stood.

"I don't want things to be weird between us because of that, and don't go leaving right away because I scared you off."

Sawyer felt as if he needed to say another smart comment, anything to shield the side of him that did give a damn, and liked Taylor despite how he acted on the outside. But all he could muster was a shrug. "Don't sweat it Goldilocks, if we're bein' entirely honest here, then I've had better,"

Taylor looked away. She then looked back at Sawyer with a smile.

Sawyer could read her from here. He had hurt her, and she didn't want him to know that. Sawyer looked away. "Some people are incapable of love."

Chloe ran over to Taylor and grabbed onto her hand. "Mommy, it's cold! Can I please go turn on the car, put on the heat, and put in my favorite Christmas CD?"

Sawyer scoffed, "Christmas CD! Taylor tell me the kid is kidding."

Taylor handed Chloe the keys and then looked back at Sawyer in disappointment. "You'll love Christmas by the time we're done with you." Chloe said clapping her hands and then pointing at Sawyer. "Even the grinch turned good at the end of _How_ _The Grinch stole Christmas_,"

"Well this grinch is hardcore darling." Sawyer commented simply.

"No you're a teddy bear," Chloe retorted sweetly. Taylor placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder, "What mommy, did Sawyer tell you about the time he read to me?"

"No," Taylor said raising an eyebrow and then turning towards Sawyer in confusion and disbelief.

"I did not!" Sawyer protested.

"He did, and I didn't have anymore nightmares that night, and he even tucked me in." Chloe nodded her head with every word. She then turned around and ran back towards the car with her curls bouncing behind her.

Sawyer grimaced. "Pollyanna's telling you a lie, I never read to her."

"It's okay," Taylor smiled. She placed her hand over her mouth in order to shield the smile that was washing over her face. A laugh escaped, and Taylor's eyes widened. "I'm sorry,"

Sawyer raised his hands in the air, "What's so funny? You laughin' at me? What did I do?"

Taylor fanned herself, and then fixed her baby blue eyes back on Sawyer, "I think that's cute, you read to my daughter,"

"First of all I don't do cute…Second of all why are you still laughing at me woman?"

"I'm not laughing at you, I just…" Taylor wiped at some tears in her eyes. "I see you,"

"I hope you do, because I'm standing right here."

"Of course you are, I'm sorry about kissing you earlier, I just saw something in you for a second that reminded me of…" Taylor paused, "Reminded me of how you used to be, and how you probably still are behind all that gruff, anger, and pain."

"Done yet doll, 'Cause I'm tired, and all I want to do is close my eyes and crash onto my foldout bed."

"I'm finished,"

"Good," Sawyer walked past her. He turned around once he realized that Taylor was still standing in the same position looking down the beach. "You waiting for me to carry you back to the car or somethin?"

"No, of course not," Taylor snapped out of it and joined Sawyer. "I was just thinking about Thanksgiving,"

"What about it,"

"Usually we eat over at Cecile's house, Chloe's babysitter, but I guess we can't do that this year."

Sawyer looked down.

"They still haven't found her son, it's been a couple of weeks now." Taylor shook her head and then opened the driver's door. "Chloe we're going to see Cecile on Thanksgiving," Taylor said as she turned down Jingle Bell Rock on the radio.

Chloe nodded as she sung along.

"One problem beautiful, Jack, Kate and I can't go with you." Sawyer said.

Taylor placed her arm on the back of Sawyer's chair as she reversed out of the parking lot, a long strand of his hair caught in the Velcro cuff of her sleeve.

"Oww," He groaned.

"Oh I'm sorry," She shifted the gear back into park and then turned her arm slightly so she could gently free Sawyer's hair. "Did you want to get a haircut?"

"By you," He said sarcastically.

"Not necessarily, I know a guy in Nags Head that cuts hair, and I could give him a call if you want."

"I don't need anyone to cut my hair,"

"If it gets any longer, I'll be able to call you Tarzan."

Sawyer narrowed his eyes at Taylor, "Real cute,"

"I was just trying to make you smile,"

* * *

Kate tied her long chocolate locks up behind her head in a high ponytail. On one side of her was a small cup of water and on the other side was a tray of paints. She dipped the thin black brush she held in her hand in the water, and then sought out a shade of yellow. "You can't look,"

Jack rested his hands behind his head, and sat up straighter. He shivered as the paint touched his muscles. "That's cold,"

Kate smiled, "I'll warm you up afterwards,"

He grinned almost a little too excitedly, "I hope I get to paint you next."

Kate looked back at Jack with a devious glint in her sparkling green eyes. She kept his gaze as she trailed the paint across his chest and then down his happy trail stopping right above his belt.

Jack licked his lips.

Kate laughed.

"What?"

"Are you trying to be sexy?" She teased.

"Try? I thought I…" Jack shook his head, "You don't expect me to answer that question do you?"

Kate tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she dipped the paintbrush back into the water. She gave the brush a quick shake and then twirled the paint around in a glob of purple. "If I didn't think you were sexy then why else would I still be here?" Kate leaned the paintbrush closer to Jack's stomach, and then traced in big and uneven strokes. Kate's property.

Jack looked down, "Is that right?"

She placed her hand to his forehead and gently pushed his head back, "I thought I told you not to look."

"Sorry,"

"Uh huh," Kate traced her hands along the purple paint smearing the K in her name and then trailed her hand upwards leaving a purple streak all the way up to his chin.

"Are you marking me too?"

Kate nodded, "Yes," She tapped his chin twice leaving two purple marks right below his lips and then lowered her mouth onto his. Jack's breath caressed her cheek as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Kate pushed him back, "I'm not finished yet,"

Jack opened his eyes obviously still wanting more of her kisses. He sighed and then reached for the paint brush which Kate had dropped earlier and placed it back in her hand. "I'm your canvas,"

"A canvas that is perfect for relieving all of my worrying, stress, and troubles to." Kate glanced up at the ceiling and then nodded as she realized what she wanted to paint.

Minutes later Kate had left a painting of an island with palm trees, the sun, calm waves and two dots on the beach. "This is my dream."

Jack looked down at the quickly done painting of an island. Before he could get a good enough look Kate smeared the entire painting with her hands. "Hey, I was…"

Jack's mouth dropped in pleasure at Kate massaged the paint over his stomach and then his chest. Her hands created an electric like friction as she grabbed, pinched and massaged the paint into the hairs on his skin. Her hands traveled up to his face as she brought herself onto him. She squeezed his cheeks blurs of orange and green were left behind, and then Kate moved her hands up into Jack's hair.

Jack's stomach rose against Kate's as she leaned in closer to him. Her face inches away from his and her hands entwining the paint in between his scalp. "I'm going to need a shower after this,"

Kate licked the edge of Jack's nose, "We could arrange that,"

Jack sighed and moved his head downwards, trailing kisses against Kate's collarbone and then on her neck, gently sucking at her skin. "You're irresistible, you know that,"

Kate let out a low moan as she felt Jack wrap his hands around her waist as he flipped her over him. "We can't…"

Jack sloppily kissed Kate's mouth.

She dug her nails into his back.

Jack kissed her harder with pleasure. "We're not going to…"

Kate nodded, "They could come back anytime,"

Jack lifted up Kate's shirt and then trailed his hands around her stomach. He smiled back at her as he looked down at her belly button. "It's my turn,"

Kate bit her lip as she watched Jack draw circles around her navel. His touch caused shivers to run down her spine. And she couldn't help but to reach out for his shoulders as he lowered his mouth onto her stomach. Kate released one hand from around his shoulder and placed it to her mouth. Jack kissed her stomach playfully and gently bit at her skin. "You shouldn't do that," Kate replied with flushed cheeks.

"Why not?" Jack asked looking up at her with temptation as he lowered his mouth back onto her stomach.

"Because you're making me want to pick you up, drag you to the room, and then have my way with you," Kate said with a smile.

Jack planted his hands against the floor and brought himself up. He looked down at his chest which was smothered with paint, along with his arms, and he could only imagine what his face looked like. Jack reached for the brush and then lowered himself back down. His chin rested on top of her thigh as he traced the paintbrush with even strokes against Kate's firm stomach. "I'm drawing you and me."

"How cute," Kate smirked.

"Not really," Jack replied two minutes later. "My head is a little too big, and your eyes are way too large, it's pretty ugly actually," Jack said placing down the brush. He pulled up Kate's shirt a little further and then redirected his eyes towards her. "I'm not much of an artist,"

"It's going to take forever to get that paint out of your hair," Kate replied as she dipped her hands in some blue paint. "But I'll help after I have a little more fun with you…since you're my study for the night,"

Jack grinned as Kate pushed him onto his back and crawled on top of him, moving her hands upwards very slowly. His eyes closed as she placed a hand covered with blue paint on his cheek and moved her mouth towards his ear. "You're delicious,"

Jack was turned on.

Kate wrinkled her nose back at him cutely. "Why is it that I can't seem to behave myself around you?" Before he could respond Kate traced his lips with hers, teasing him, by moving her lips away and then bringing them back onto his.

Jack stroked her cheek, and then traced the freckles that graced her face. "If we don't stop now then you're about to be my dessert."

Kate grinned, "Who's objecting?"

* * *

Chloe jumped out of the car. "Sawyer are you going to read me another story tonight?"

"Not tonight rugrat." He closed the car door and walked towards the house. Sawyer reached for the doorknob and was surprised to find that it was open. He shook his head. "If I fall asleep before you, make sure the door is locked," Sawyer said to Chloe.

Chloe nodded, "I always do, so the boogeyman doesn't come in."

Sawyer smirked, "Uh huh, didn't your mama tell you that there is no such thing as the boogeyman, go on inside."

"Yes there is," Chloe said with a nod.

Sawyer glanced towards the car where Taylor was still sitting inside. "Unless you're talking about Jack, then I don't know of any other boogeyman."

"Jack's not scary!" Chloe exclaimed.

Sawyer wasn't going to argue with Chloe, because he knew the kid had a mouth on her like a grown woman. He placed his hand on her back and ushered her inside. "Go watch Sesame Street or Barney…or whatever you kids do."

Chloe turned around and walked into the kitchen. Sawyer looked after Taylor, he peered into the car to see what she was doing, and then decided to go inside after he realized that she was on the phone. Sawyer kicked off his shoes at the door, and made a beeline straight for the attic. He needed to be by himself for a little while and figure out how he was going to deal with the fact that he had just kissed Taylor. As Sawyer took the stairs he frowned at the thought of Jack and Kate, and what they were probably doing. He wouldn't put it past Jack to write some sappy ass poem for Kate, read it too her while they were surrounded by candles, and then beg her to spoon with him until the morning. Sawyer was finally starting to get over Kate, and he was glad, because he needed to let Kate go like a lot of things in his life.

Sawyer raised an eyebrow when he realized that the light was on in the attic and the door was halfway closed. Without hesitating he placed his hand against the door, and cracked it open. Sawyer looked between the small opening and his mouth dropped. Both Kate and Jack were sprawled on the floor in a compromising position. Paint was all over their bodies and Jack was shirtless. He clenched his jaw. Why the hell did he care? Sawyer felt his fists clench in anger, and adrenaline pump through his veins. His expression twisted into one of rage. Sawyer turned around and walked away. The kiss he had shared with Taylor earlier was now forgotten to him, and now all he could think about was Jack and Kate all over each other.

"I'm making you some cookies," Chloe said looking away from the television.

Sawyer ignored Chloe as he stepped into Taylor's room and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Taylor stepped out of the car. She watched in surprise as a man walked out of the woods towards her. Cautiously she backed closer towards the house, but still retained a pleasant expression on her face. "Can I help you?"

He shook his head, "Actually you can, I was shooting some deer in the woods, and I found something."

Taylor nodded waiting for him to continue. He stared back at her blankly making her feel slightly uncomfortable. "Well, what did you find?"

He dug around in his pockets and then pulled out a small object. "Is it yours?"

She gasped, "Yes, where did you find this?"

"In the woods…I was hunting as I said before and I saw it…it's a beautiful ring, and I'm sure the girl that it's for is equally as beautiful,"

Taylor raised an eyebrow. Why was he talking about the ring as if it wasn't hers? It was Kate's but how would he know that. Realizing that she was overreacting Taylor reached in her purse. "Thanks a lot," She handed him twenty dollars.

"I don't need your money ma'am,"

"Oh it's just twenty dollars, and besides I really appreciate you bringing this back to me,"

He took the money, "Well if you insist."

"You have a beautiful family,"

Taylor nodded. This guy spooked her out, but she refused to show her fear because she didn't want to offend him. "Thanks again," Taylor headed towards the door.

"You should really lock your doors,"

"What?" Taylor asked in surprise. Her eyes widened as she turned back around to face the man.

He smiled and then pointed to her door which was wide open. "I heard a story about a man being murdered in that house a couple of years back, supposedly his son did it."

Taylor shivered, "Thanks for the ring,"

"Oh no problem, I didn't mean to scare you,"

Taylor shook her head, "No not at all, Thank you."

* * *

Timmy watched as she disappeared inside. He wasn't too pleased with Kate tonight. He wasn't pleased at all. First she slept with Jack, and then she got in his way when he tried to kill Jack earlier. Timmy turned around and started to walk away. He had a new plan, he was going to allow Jack to live, and then kill him as Kate watched. He smiled wickedly to himself. But until then he could always change around the list. Timmy turned around to look back at the house. The blonde was sweet and she was innocent, but if he allowed her to live then he knew that he risked getting caught. He exhaled blowing his breath out into the chilly air. His new plan was ready. Blonde died first, then the child, Sawyer, Jack…and if Kate made him any more madder than she had done today…then he would kill her too. Timmy smiled to himself. He was going to play some chess to relieve his tension. His boots crunched against the leaves as he walked back towards his flashlight, container of gasoline, matches and rifle. They had no idea what they were in for.

* * *

Taylor locked the top lock. She glanced outside and sighed in relief when she realized that the strange man was gone.

"You're back," Jack said stepping into the den.

Taylor turned around. She smiled when she saw Jack with paint smeared all over his face, and some on his sweater as well. "You and Kate started working on some ornaments?"

"You could say that," Jack said with a nervous laugh.

Taylor suddenly remembered that she had Jack's wedding ring in her hand. She walked towards the kitchen signaling for him to follow her. Jack followed behind. "Someone found this is the woods,"

Jack stared back at Sarah's engagement ring as if it were gold. He reached out and held the diamond in his hand. "Oh my god,"

"Wouldn't it be nice if you asked Kate to marry you on Thanksgiving?"

Jack closed his mouth which had been agape for at least five seconds. He blinked in amazement. "I've been looking for this forever, because I wanted to ask Kate for so long."

Taylor clasped her hands together and stared back at Jack excitedly. "Kate loves you so much, I know she'll say yes,"

"I want to get her a different ring, this is Sarah's so I can't give this one to her." Jack sat down at the table and rolled the ring around in his hand. "I want to do this right, I paid a lot of money for this ring so I'm going to pawn it."

Taylor decided to ignore the fact that Jack had just said the ring belonged to another woman. She sat down across from Jack. "So you're going to get Kate another ring?"

Jack nodded, "Thanksgiving is in a couple of days so I have to act fast, do you know any shops around here?"

"I do," Taylor grinned, "Now I have to find the biggest turkey in North Carolina!"

"No, no, it's okay…"

"Are you kidding me! You're asking Kate to marry you, I'm pulling out all the stops this Thursday, first thing tomorrow we'll go sell the ring, and get Kate her own ring."

(Thanks everyone for reviewing last chapter. Timmy is one freaky dude isn't he...I made him up and he even scares me. I'm going to update on Thursday, and write a special Thanksgiving chapter. There will be no Timmy, because this chapter is going to be more on the non-angsty side, Sarah will be back, and an issue will arise will regarding her pregnancy, Jack's proposing to Kate, and somone other than Taylor and Chloe will find out about the three "Outlaws".

Jillian- lol...Jate smut. If I killed Jack then there goes the story...so I hope that's some reassurance.

Lindsay- I've been reconsidering the killing off someone idea. But someone is still going to get hurt very badly and Jack, Kate, and Sawyer's situation will get darker when Timmy/ wanna be Tom puts his plan into motion. Enjoy your vacation and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Cohen101- I don't know when Kate's real b-day is, but in this fic, Christmas works for me.

Thanks to Nikki-da-latina, NYR88, delee, sunny102, Oct, Orlando-crazy, lostfan, Jate is Fate 815, and Kballgetlost.)


	11. Just like Heaven

Chapter 11- Just like Heaven

The sun filtered through the window spilling golden beams of light through the window. It was cold too, and Jack didn't want to get up. He sighed as he snuggled up closer to Kate. She was so warm. He kissed her shoulder, and then nuzzled his head against the crook of her neck. Kate turned around to face him and wrapped her arms around his body. Jack sighed again, perfectly content with spooning with Kate for the rest of the day. He started to drift off, and then he remembered that today he was going to propose to Kate.

"You don't want to get up yet?" Kate asked groggily. She rubbed Jack's shoulders in attempts to make him warm.

Jack shook his head, "Not yet, it's too cold,"

"Cold, yes, very cold,"

Jack opened his eyes and then leaned in close to Kate's face. She looked like she was still asleep. "I'm going to go shower, and force myself to get up," He stole a quick kiss on her forehead, which made her smile angelically, and then pulled the covers back. Jack could smell the turkey roasting in the oven, along with the Virginia Ham. A sense of childish joy suddenly washed over him. The last couple of years his Thanksgiving's had been spent by himself or with doctors that he worked with, so this was new for him. Jack actually had something to look forward today. He pushed himself up and walked towards the door.

"I'm going to get up too." Kate yawned and then stretched out her arms. She forced herself to find the motivation to get up, and then swung her legs over the bed. "Come here."

Jack allowed his hand to slip from the doorknob as he walked towards Kate with a smile. She reached out for his hands and pulled him close. "Happy Thanksgiving,"

"This is nice," Kate replied.

"What?"

"Looking forward to today, I mean I don't usually celebrate Thanksgiving, because I never have a reason too, but today…" Kate pouted as she looked back at Jack's cheerful expression. Her finger traced his jaw, and then she slipped her finger underneath his chin so she could bring him in for a kiss. "Today I do have something to celebrate. I feel like I'm part of something, like I belong somewhere," Kate blushed in embarrassment, "Sorry,"

Jack's eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes, "No, sorry for what?"

Kate looked back up at him, "Being so corny."

"I don't care in a matter of fact, I find it cute." Jack wrapped his arms around Kate, and brought her closer to him. "I understand what you mean about the belonging, the last two Thanksgivings I ordered in chinese, watched football, and was in bed by six."

Kate's mouth dropped, "By yourself?"

Jack nodded, "My parents were always fighting, and my dad was drunk half of the time…so I never wanted to go over there. Being alone was better."

"Well, you're not going to be spending anymore Thanksgivings alone," Kate looked down at Jack's shirt as she started to unbutton it. "I'm starting to feel settled here,"

"Me too, but we'll have to leave sometime soon." Jack advised.

"I know," Kate sighed and then pulled Jack's shirt all the way off. "I guess I can deal with that, but if I had to leave you behind then I would refuse to go. I'm attached too much already."

"Me too," Jack said as he caressed Kate's cheek, and then walked around her to grab his towel which was hanging off the back of the door. "I'm going to get clean,"

Kate rested her back against the heater and watched as Jack pulled down his pants. "Strip,"

Jack looked up in confusion, "I'm sorry?"

"Take off your clothes," Kate said walking over to Jack. She smiled back at him seductively and then unloosed the drawstring on his pants. "Or we could take a shower?"

"I like the shower idea," Jack said.

"But don't think you're off the hook, you owe me a Thanksgiving dance,"

"I have something else for you," Jack ran his hands through Kate's hair and then looked towards the door. "I think we can both agree that you're better at stripping than me…I'll take off my clothes but…stripping?" Jack shook his head.

Kate reached for his arm and twisted it towards her. "I'm still kind of tired, so I could use something to wake me up. Something sexy."

* * *

Sawyer opened the washing machine and then peered inside. He scowled to himself. Look what happened when he tried to help out in the kitchen, Sawyer looked down at the coffee stain on his shirt and then pulled it off. He tossed it inside, and then got ready to close the machine. Sawyer glanced around the room, he hated doing laundry, but while he was in here why not? Sawyer sighed to himself as he picked up some of Taylor and Chloe's clothes and then tossed them inside with his. He double checked to make sure that all of the clothes were dark like his shirt, and then reached for some laundry detergent. As Sawyer dropped the cap, he bent down to pick it up, and then the door opened. He looked behind him, and then stood up. "Who's there?"

Taylor smiled back at him weakly, "What are you doing Sawyer?"

"A little laundry, you got any more dirty clothes sweetheart?"

"Oh Sawyer, you don't have to worry about the laundry. I will…" Taylor closed her eyes and then placed her hand to her nose. "Achoo!"

"Coming down with a cold?" Sawyer asked.

"No, I'm fine. I have to finish making dinner, so I'm not going to let this cold take me off of my feet." She then unsteadily turned around.

"Hold on there soldier, you go on back to bed."

"I can't."

Sawyer nodded, "Yes you can,"

Taylor placed her hand against the wall and then leaned forward. "I think I should be asking you the same question. You're washing laundry, and showing concern, are you feeling okay?"

"Haha, laugh it up Sunshine. Today I'm feelin' like Mr. Nice Guy, so take it or leave it."

"What about dinner Sawyer? I have a turkey in the stove, sweet potato pie and macaroni and cheese that needs to be made, a table to set, three adults and a kid to feed…"

"Hey," Sawyer said raising his hands. His eyes widened as he looked back at Taylor overwhelmed, "In your state you obviously can't do all that, so…I'll cook."

"Huh?"

"Yes, I said I'll do it." Sawyer said with a forced nod of confidence. He reached for the detergent and then poured some into the cap. Taylor sneezed again. "Hot chocolate or coffee?" Sawyer said as he concentrated on turning the machine on.

"As in the coffee that's on the floor?" Taylor said with a small smile.

Sawyer winced in embarrassment, "I'll clean that up after I finish loading the washer machine, what d'ya want hot chocolate or coffee? You never did answer me"

"Sawyer you don't have too…"

"That's it," He walked over to Taylor, and surprised her by picking her up in his arms. "You're gonna get some rest and I'm taking care of everything."

Taylor clutched onto Sawyer's arm. "Please don't burn the turkey,"

Sawyer looked around for Chloe, "One question though, does the little girl know how to cook a turkey, because she seems to know a lot more than me."

"There is a thermometer poking outside of the turkey, and you can always cut off pieces of meat as well to see if it tastes right." Taylor replied coughing. She covered her mouth, "I'm so sorry,"

"Don't be, just get some rest." Sawyer pushed the door open with his foot, and then rested Taylor down onto her bed. "I don't want to see you up until dinner is ready, so if you need anything at all then…" Sawyer searched around for something that would make noise. The only thing that he found was a shoe. "Throw this against the wall I guess if ya need something."

Taylor smiled weakly back at him, and then reached for the shoe. Her hand grazed his as she made him drop the shoe back onto the floor."Sawyer…"

"Take advantage of this. You know I'm usually in a bad mood 24/7, so when I'm offering to make stuff, even though I hate cooking, then you're either very special, or I'm having a rare anything goes kinda day."

Taylor propped her pillow up behind her head. "I thought I was immune to getting sick, but out of all the days, why Thanksgiving…" Her eyes started to close, and she reached outwards for her comforter.

"Here," Sawyer said softly. He reached for the comforter with both hands and then pulled it over Taylor. "I'm gonna try not to burn down the house," He stood up and then walked towards the door. Sawyer couldn't explain this feeling that had washed over him. He was actually in a good mood, even though he had every reason not to be. No use in trying to make sense of it. Sawyer watched as Chloe walked down the hall towards him with a can of cranberry sauce in her hands. "Morning," he said.

Chloe handed Sawyer the can. "Can I be your little helper? I heard you talking to mommy and you said you were going to finish cooking for her."

"Sure, I said it. But I'm no good at cookin', so don't be expecting miracles."

"With my help, I have great expectations," Chloe said with a nod. "The turkey is in the oven, the batter for the sweet potato pie is on the counter, and the peas are already busted, we don't have that much to do Sawyer."

"Come again short round? The peas are busted what are you talking about."

"My mom soaks the peas in the water, and then makes rice and peas, it's hard to explain but I'll show you how to do it." Chloe turned on the television to the Macy's day parade and then strolled into the kitchen. "Let's wash our hands first…"

"Aww, I almost forgot," Sawyer said snapping his fingers.

Footsteps approached from the den. Both Sawyer and Chloe turned around expecting to see Jack or Kate, but instead they saw a woman with a smooth coffee complexion ,dark brown eyes, and raven hair mixed in with strands of gray. She smiled at Chloe warmly and then looked at Sawyer in surprise.

"Umm…howdy?" Sawyer replied nervously.

* * *

Jack closed the bathroom door behind him and Kate. "Do you think anyone's up?" He asked.

Kate moved towards the shower and turned on the faucet. "Taylor probably is, but I'm not sure about everyone else,"

"Hmm," Jack pulled down his pants, and then his boxers.

Kate pulled back the curtains and motioned for him to get in, but Jack shook his head. "What are you waiting for?"

"You," Jack teased.

Kate pulled off her shirt. "There goes one item." She swung the shirt at Jack. He caught it easily and then folded it on the counter. She smiled as she watched him fold. "You're so tidy."

Jack nodded and then reached out his hand. "Are you mocking me?"

Kate shrugged, Maybe,"

"Shorts next," Jack replied pointing down to the black shorts Kate was wearing.

"Is this turning you on?"

Jack chuckled, his cheeks turned a shade of scarlet. "A little, can I have the shorts please?"

Kate placed her hands on her hips, "No,"

"Why not," Jack replied looking Kate up and down with his eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes. "Please,"

"Beg some more,"

Jack got down on his knees and then reached for Kate's hand. He felt like he was proposing, so maybe this was good for practice. "Am I really this desperate?"

Kate nodded and then leaned downwards to kiss his forehead, "Are you trying to propose to me?"

"No," Jack said quickly.

Kate pouted, "Oh, I know…I was just…" She smiled nervously and then pulled him up by his shoulders. "Let's clean you up." Kate pulled off her shorts and then her panties. "What are you waiting for?" She asked as she stepped into the shower.

"I was just thinking,"

Kate reached out for his arm and dragged him in. "You still have some paint in your hair from last night,"

"And you still have some on your face," Jack whispered.

Kate blushed as she reached for a bottle of Herbal Essences and then poured a small amount into her palm. "Could you turn towards me,"

"Sure," Jack replied. The hot water pounded onto his bare back from the shower head above, as he placed one hand against the wall, and leaned in closer to Kate.

"So what are our plans after dinner?" Kate asked.

"I was thinking that we could sit back, relax and watch the depressing specials that play every Thanksgiving…you know the ones that you always miss because you're alone, and the last thing you want to think about is the holidays," Jack closed his eyes as Kate started to work the lather into his hair.

"Sounds fun,"

"I was just kidding, I don't like those Thanksgiving movies, and besides I have plans for us later."

Kate pulled her hands away from Jack's hair and then raised her chin. "What kind of plans?"

"You'll see," Jack said as he leaned in to kiss Kate's neck.

Kate placed her hand against his chest and then backed him up against the opposite side of the shower. "I'm not good at waiting at least not when it comes to you,"

"You used to be," Jack replied as he ran his hands through her damp curls.

Kate smirked as she reached for a washcloth, "And then we slept together, and all of patience went out the window."

Jack picked up a bottle of body wash, "Patience, what patience?"

Kate laughed, "That's what I'm talking about,"

Jack wrapped his arms around Kate and then pulled her as close to him as possible. He gently massaged her shoulders which were slick with hot water relieving the tension and then lowered his mouth onto her collar bone. Kate's skin was soft and inviting against his hungry mouth. He smiled as her hands slid downwards. She felt his chest, his abs, and then her hands went further down. Jack moaned.

Kate smirked, "We have to hurry up."

"Can't we just stay in here all day?" He said tilting his head backwards.

"We could, but then they'll really start to wonder about us," Kate pressed her nose against Jack's and smiled at the expression on his face. "You still owe me a striptease,"

"Kate, c'mon," Jack said with an embarrassed grin. "Don't ruin the moment."

Kate cupped his face with her free hand, "I'm not kidding,"

"Well then I know what I want for Christmas,"

"And what's that?"

"You, in sexy black lace lingerie, heels, and hmm…if we're talking about Christmas, a bow around your waist, gold preferably."

Kate laughed, "It sounds like you've been thinking about this for a while now. Well if you want black lace, heels, and a bow…excuse me gold bow." Kate replied narrowing her eyes back at him.

Jack blushed. "Gold looks good on you…actually who am I kidding anything looks good on you, or lack there of."

"Then all I want on you is a bow…velvet…and nothing else."

"That can be arranged," Jack said.

* * *

"Hi, I'm Cecile," The woman said extending her hand to Sawyer.

Chloe nudged Sawyer who seemed to be in a state of shock. "She's really nice, Cecile won't bite,"

Cecile smiled down at Chloe, "That's right, I won't."

Sawyer shook Cecile's hand and then flashed a charming smile that he had used more times than he could count. His conman smile. "Hi, I'm Austin nice to meet you." He could see Chloe snap her head towards him in confusion, but she remained silent. "I came up from Dallas to visit my friend Taylor,"

"Oh, well nice to meet you Austin," Cecile said kindly. She clasped her hands together and then looked around for Taylor, "I called this morning, and Taylor told me that she wasn't feeling to well, so I thought I could come over here and help,"

"Sure," Sawyer said stepping back. He looked around for Kate and Jack. Cecile didn't think anything of him, but how was he going to explain them. "So how long are ya planning on staying."

Cecile looked back at him in surprise.

Shit. Sawyer winced, He didn't mean for that to come out as gruff as it did. Sawyer didn't know anything about this woman except for the fact that he was responsible for her son's death. So a small part of him felt like he owed her something. Sawyer shook his head. No, he didn't owe her anything. It was an accident. He looked down and then took in a deep breath. "I meant to say that if you're staying, Chloe and I could use the help,"

"Thank you," Cecile moved towards the cabinet and pulled out a box of cornbread. "The turkey is on, the ham is baking, what else needs to be done…right the macaroni and cheese."

Sawyer nodded, and stepped back as Cecile made a beeline towards the refrigerator. She pulled out a package of cheese, and some milk. "So Austin tell me about yourself."

Sawyer looked back at her surprised. He expected her to ignore him, and continue on cooking, but instead she gave him her attention. "Oh well I um…I'm a stock broker and I live in Dallas as I said earlier…I um…am not married," Sawyer scratched behind his head. "That's about all there is to know,"

Cecile nodded as she reached for a box of elbow macaroni in the pantry. "Did you go to school with Taylor?"

Usually Sawyer wouldn't be in the mood for small talk, but since he was being "good" today, why not. "We went to the same high school," Sawyer looked around for Jack and Kate once more almost expecting them to walk into the kitchen hand in hand. "So um…what do you do?" Sawyer said as he watched Chloe sit down and listen to their conversation.

"I'm actually a wedding planner…or at least I used to be before I retired," She gave Sawyer a small smile, "I've been looking for a reason to get back to work, I have too much time on my hands these days…and there's always enough to worry about."

"I don't believe in marriage," Sawyer commented.

"Why not?"

Because I don't believe in love, just lust. Sawyer thought to himself. When he realized that Cecile was still looking at him, he turned to face her. "Bachelor life has treated me too well for me to just abandon it like that," Feeling as if he had revealed too much of himself for his own good Sawyer excused himself from the kitchen. He walked towards Taylor's room, and pushed the door open. Her bed was empty.

"Hey," She said.

Sawyer's mouth dropped open when he saw Taylor standing in front of her press, "What are you doing up, I thought I told you to…"

"I heard Cecile. Sawyer I'm so sorry, I had no idea that she was coming over," Taylor said shaking her head.

"It's fine," Sawyer said lookingdown. "By the way my name is Austin and I'm a stock broker from Dallas,"

Taylor sneezed.

"Bless you,"

A smile formed on Taylor's face. "Wow, you really are in a good mood today. I'm telling you the holiday spirit is infectious, stay with us a little longer Sawyer, and I have a feeling you'll be collecting cans for the food drive with us."

Sawyer snorted, "Let's not go that far."

* * *

Kate dried her hair and then looked sideways at Jack who was shaving. "Going for the clean look?"

Jack nodded, "What about you?"

Kate ran her hands through her drying tresses. "I think I'm going to straighten my hair…try something different."

"You'll look good either way,"

"Thanks," Kate took the razor out of Jack's hand and then stood in front of him. "If I start going overboard just let me know okay."

"Overboard with what?" Jack asked raising his chin as Kate gently glided the razor underneath.

"I don't know, just let me know if you need a break from me."

Jack reached for Kate's hand. "A break?"

Kate nodded, "I'm still surprised myself at how I behave around you, so if you feel like you need a break from the kissing, painting and shaving…just let me know."

"I don't want a break," Jack teased.

Kate bit her lip, "I'm curious about something though, and I know I may be stepping over my boundaries so feel free to stop me if I go to far." Kate tilted her head to the side so she could have easier access to the tiny blonde, gray, and brown hairs hidden behind a layer of shaving cream. "You were with Sarah before I came along right,"

Jack nodded, "Yeah, I was."

Kate placed one hand on Jack's arm and leaned forward to rinse off the razor. He was still a little wet from the shower they just shared. Kate shook the razor and then went back to work on Jack's moustache. "Were you deeply in love with Sarah, or did you think you were before any of this?"

"I did love Sarah, but it was different." Jack looked down, and then back into Kate's eyes. He already knew where she was going with this. "What we have is different, I can't even explain it."

"Do you think that if say Sarah came back into the picture, you would go back to her?" Kate bit the inside of her cheek. She felt embarrassed for displaying the smallest signs of insecurity when it came to Jack. It was just that their relationship was something that she could've only dreamed of before, and she didn't want to lose it. Fairytale or not, Kate loved Jack, and she didn't want to have to worry about him going away. "I'm sorry, I'm not usually the type that needs reassurance, I guess I just…" Kate held the razor away from Jack's neck and placed her hand to her forehead, "I'm sorry,"

"A part of me felt like I was supposed to love Sarah, she was in a bad accident, and I was there for her, and during my father's breakdown she was there for me. We leaned on each other and then…" Jack shrugged.

"You were going to propose to her,"

"I was, but I had second thoughts, I was constantly debating if I wanted to take that step, because I loved her and I still do, but not like this. Sarah is different from you, so there's no comparison. What I feel for you is without a doubt true, pure and honest, but I'll prove all of that to you later,"

"What do you mean?"

"I'll show you later today." Jack said.

* * *

Sarah wrapped her arms around her body. It was in the early hours of the morning in L.A. and the sun was just starting to peek behind the clouds. She sighed as she turned off the kettle. It had been a while since the Marshal had contacted her with any news on Jack's whereabouts, but she hadn't given up hope since then. Sarah touched the sleeve of Jack's shirt in reminisce which she was wearing, and then her hand slipped down to her stomach. She was nearly eight months pregnant with his child. Sarah bit her lip. The thought of having to raise their kid on her own was daunting. With shaking hands she redirected her attention back towards the kettle. Sarah pulled a mug from the cabinet and set it down on the counter. All last night she had felt an uneasy feeling about the baby. Sarah paused as her thoughts shifted back to what she believed to be contractions earlier this morning. She knew that she should've called her doctor, but Sarah refused to believe that she was having contractions when she still had another month until she was due.

Sarah moved away from the counter and walked towards the phone. She was almost scared to call the doctor. Because this baby was all that she had left of Jack. Sarah sighed as she picked up the phone. As she dialed in the number, a flood of water rushed down her leg. Sarah gasped, "Oh no,"

The phone temporarily dropped from her hand.

She looked down at the liquid on the floor, and then placed her trembling hand to her mouth, "No," This couldn't be happening! The baby wasn't supposed to be due for another month. Thoughts of denial then started to fill Sarah's head. What if her instincts were right earlier, and something was really wrong with the baby. She tried to push back the paranoia as she picked the phone back up. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she dialed in the doctor's number. Maybe she was just overreacting? Sarah looked down at the water and then realized that it was real, and that she was going into labor prematurely.

* * *

Jack sat on the bed working on his proposal to Kate. He looked around quickly and then pulled the small box out of his pocket. Jack smiled in satisfaction as he opened the box and looked down at the stunning ring. He couldn't wait to slip it on Kate's finger. Jack closed the box and tucked it back into the pants of his khakis.

Kate stepped into the room. Her hair was now straight, and it looked as soft as velvet. She wore a silk maroon top, and a pair of jeans and with a pearl necklace that hung down past her neck.

Jack nodded in approval. He stood up and walked over to Kate, and trailed his hands through her silky locks. Her hair fell gracefully from his hands. "You look beautiful,"

"Thank you, and so do you," Kate straightened out his collar on his shirt, and then beamed back at him. "Let's go see if we can help Taylor in the kitchen."

Jack shook his head in agreement and together they made their way through the house. The smell of turkey, sweet potato pie, Virginia ham, and rice and beans lingered in the air. "Everything smells so good,"

"I know," Kate said.

They stepped inside and nearly did a 360 degree turn when they realized that someone else was over. But it was too late because she turned around from the macaroni and cheese that she was preparing and looked at them.

Kate quickly composed herself, trying to hide her fear.

The woman smiled, "Hi,"

"Hi," Jack said warmly.

Kate looked up at Jack. Good thing he was able to hold himself together, because she was too nervous to even speak right now. Jack's arm slipped around her waist pulling her closer to him.

"My name is Cecile nice to meet you,"

Kate looked down. Cecile. She was the mother of the cop Sawyer had killed. Kate looked back up trying to remain calm.

Cecile extended her hand to Kate and Jack. "I'm sorry I didn't get your names."

"Shepard," Kate said quickly.

Jack's eyes widened as he looked down at Kate.

"I meant…" Kate cleared her throat and then pointed to Jack, "His name is Ja…James Shepard."

Sawyer who wasn't sitting to far away looked up in surprise. His eyes narrowed at Jack and Kate.

"Nice to meet you James," Cecile said to Jack, "And your name?"

"Skyler," Kate lied easily.

After some brief discussion Cecile returned to cooking.

Kate tugged onto Jack's sleeve and led him into the den. "That was close, but I don't think she recognizes us, what do you think?"

"I don't think so," Jack said shaking his head. He sat down in front of the television and then Kate joined him seconds later. "I don't believe there's any reason to worry,"

Two hours later everyone sat down at the table and dinner was prepared. Cecile sat next to Jack on one side and Kate was on the other. On the opposite end of the table Sawyer, Taylor, and Chloe sat.

"This all looks so good," Jack said rubbing his hands together.

Kate smiled back at him. She was curious to see what surprise he had for her later.

Cecile started to speak, "First off I would like to say thanks to Taylor for allowing me to come over here and spend Thanksgiving, it's never a good feeling to spend the holidays alone, and I'm glad to be here. This year has been a little rough for me, and I'm not going to go into the details, because I know everyone wants to eat, but I really appreciate the company." Cecile passed pleasant smile across the table, "It was also a pleasure to meet you Austin, Skyler and James,"

Sawyer narrowed his eyes at Jack but remained silent. He could feel Taylor looking at him, but he ignored her. Sawyer looked down and cleared his throat. He wasn't feeling so nice anymore.

"Does anyone want to say prayer?" Taylor asked before sneezing. "I'm sorry,"

"Bless you," Cecile and Chloe said.

"Thank you, Prayer?" Taylor repeated.

Sawyer, Jack and Kate quickly looked elsewhere. Sawyer focused on the burgundy cloth on the table, Jack looked out the window and focused on the sun which was starting to set, and Kate picked imaginary lint off of her blouse.

"Kate?" Taylor asked.

Kate scowled but quickly forced a smile onto her face. She composed herself and then looked up. Everyone's eyes were on her. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and then focused on the napkin in front of her. "Um…I…" Kate smiled nervously. She was about to pass, because she hadn't prayed in so long and she didn't want to make a fool of herself, but she decided against it. "Okay um…"

Jack reached for her hand and Cecile's as well.

His touch calmed her. Kate turned to look at Jack and then bent her head in prayer. She had no idea what she should say. Jack gently stroked her hand with his thumb, easing her worries once again. "I would like to say th…thanks for the lovely food in front of us." Kate swallowed down a lump in her throat. "And also for the gift of being here today all together…" She paused. Kate nervously bit at her lip, she had no idea what else to say.

"Thank you for the strength to go on, and for the blessings that we have received…and the people we love. Amen," Jack finished.

"Amen," Everyone except for Sawyer said.

"I would like to add one more thing as well," Jack said looking around the table. He focused his eyes on Kate and then smiled back at her, "Ka…Skyler and I recently met this year, and I've really become attached to her, I have to say I am most thankful that we found each other."

An expression of adoration stretched across Kate's face as she listened to Jack.

"I love this woman," Jack professed.

Sawyer rolled his eyes, while Chloe, Taylor, and Cecile beamed in their direction.

Jack nodded and then focused back on the women that were watching him with expressions of amazement. His cheeks grew warm as he realized that it probably looked like he was about to propose to Kate right there. "Should I cut the turkey?"

* * *

One hour and thirty minutes later Kate and Jack were inside of Taylor's truck driving towards an unspecified location.

"Skyler huh?"

Kate smiled, "That was the last alias I used back in West Virginia, so why not. Where are we going by the way? You practically threw me over your shoulder, and dragged me out to the car."

"You didn't want to go?" Jack asked.

"Of course I wanted to go," Kate said playfully punching Jack's arm. She placed her head against the foggy window and gazed out at the gently rolling waves of the Atlantic hidden behind golden sand, and tall grass. "We're going to the beach?"

Jack pointed ahead, "Do you see the lighthouse?"

Kate nodded, "Its pretty, is that where were going?" She looked around for anyone on the beach, but relaxed when her search came up empty.

Jack parked the car and then opened his door. He grabbed a journal from the back and then patted his pocket. Kate watched him curiously, she made an attempt to open her door, but Jack was too fast. Before Kate could blink Jack was opening the door for her.

"Thank you," She said. It was freezing outside. Jack closed the door behind Kate, and then pulled off his jacket. He got behind her and slipped it on Kate's shoulders.

"Better?"

"Better," Kate repeated.

Jack made sure both doors were locked and then he reached for Kate's hand leading her towards the lighthouse. Jack smiled to himself. His nerves were getting the best of him. He took in a mouthful of air, and looked out towards the sunset. The sun was hovering in the sky beyond a mass of pink, blue and deep red colors. Jack's eyes then shifted towards the lighthouse which was quickly approaching.

"Do you have any idea why I brought you here?"

Kate shrugged, "Maybe to get out of after Thanksgiving dinner cleaning."

Jack chuckled, "Good guess, but no."

Kate looked down at the journal in Jack's hand, "What is that?"

"You'll see,"

Minutes later both Kate and Jack stepped onto the observation deck of the lighthouse. Kate crossed her arms as the wind blew past, bouncing off her cheeks, and also running through her hair. "The sunset is so beautiful it looks like a painting,"

Jack smiled at the mention of paintings.

Kate seemed to catch his train of thought and smiled as well. "So…"

Jack ran his thumb along the dark blue journal, and then handed it to Kate. "I wrote you a story."

Kate raised an eyebrow in Jack's direction. "A story?" Curiosity got the better of her and she opened the journal. Kate looked over the first page and then looked back at Jack. His eyes were fixed on the scribbled words on the paper. Kate then started to read.

_I'm not good at expressing myself when it comes to how much I care about her. Either my feelings don't come out at all, or it's too sappy. But she doesn't seem to mind. Words can't express the range of emotions that she makes me feel. She's beautiful inside and out, and there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for her. It seems like a dream to me, when I think about the last couple of months we have spent together. We shared so much, lost so much, and in the process grew closer together. There isn't a thing I would change about her, because I love Kate for Kate. She thinks she makes too many mistakes, but in my eyes that's what makes her beautiful._

_Upon our first meeting I was broken into pieces. I had no idea that when she took me hostage my life would have changed for the better. We immediately worked together, and we became partners. I tried to pretend as if I didn't care, or that I didn't love her but all of my attempts failed. I remember sitting at the airport in West Virginia, and I could've gotten away then, but I couldn't. Because her soft laugh was playing on repeat in my mind, and every time I closed my eyes I saw her beautiful face. I was already under her spell, and from then on I couldn't imagine leaving her behind again. That's why I'm doing this today, I don't want to wait any longer, I just want Kate to know how much she means to me. And I hope that when she looks up and sees me on bended knee then she'll say…_

Kate looked up. Her eyes widened as she watched Jack drop down onto his knees.

"I'm sorry about the cheesy intro…"

Kate couldn't even respond because her hands were shaking so much, and her legs were so wobbly that she felt as if she was about to fall. Tears welled up in her eyes as Jack reached for her hand.

"You know how special you are to me. I can't think of any other woman that I would rather spend the rest of my life with." Jack reached in his pocket for the box.

Kate gasped. A strong gust blew past. She was nervous, and shaking already as it was, and just when she felt as if she was about to fall, Jack placed his hands around her waist. She reached out for his shoulders, and attempted to steady herself.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked softly.

Kate nodded. "Yes, I'm fine,"

Jack slipped one hand free from Kate's waist as he opened the box. The quickly descending sunlight from up above seemed to seek out the diamond. The jewel inside the band sparkled brilliantly as Jack gently pulled it out of the protective case. He felt tears forming in his eyes as he placed the box down. "I love you Kate," Jack stroked Kate's hand tenderly. She was falling apart in front of him. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her lips quivered as she looked down at him.

Kate could kick herself for losing control like this. But she couldn't help it. Jack was proposing to her. She had waited for this moment for so long, almost as much as she had tried denying her feelings for him. Kate felt her insides grow weak as Jack brought her hand to his mouth. He planted a tender and loving kiss on her hand, and then looked back up at her. His eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes, which were lighter than usual because of the rays of disappearing light bouncing off of his face.

Jack squeezed Kate's hand tighter, and then took in a breath. "I was broken before you came along, and I desperately needed someone to pick me up, and then put me back together…"

Kate bit her lip. She sniffled as the tears continued to fall.

"Kate Austen, will you make me the luckiest man in the world and become my wife?" Jack asked.

Kate wiped at the tears on her face and slowly nodded. Her lips trembled, and she felt another wave of tears coming over her. "Yes!"

Jack's mouth dropped. He didn't expect her to scream like she did. His hands shook as he slipped the ring onto her finger. Jack stood up and wrapped his arms tightly around Kate. She buried her face in his shoulders and ran her hands through his hair. "I hope I just gave you all the proof that you need. I don't want to be with anyone else but you Kate, no one else."

(Thanks everyone for reviewing last chapter. I'll respond to all question by "reply" because I don't think we're allowed to in our chapters anymore. Also I'm going to take a little break, so no update this Monday, but maybe next Monday. Thanks again, and I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!)


	12. Shadows of You

This chapter contains heavy violence towards the end...so I'll rate this chapter R just in case. I also do not own Jack, Kate, or Sawyer. I only own my OC's.

Chapter 12- Shadows of You

"Kate, can I talk to you for a second?" Taylor asked knocking on the door and then stepping inside.

Kate looked up from Jack's journal, and then tried to hide the jubilant smile that was painted on her face. "Sure, what's going on?"

Taylor glanced down at the ring on Kate's finger and then clapped her hands together cheerfully. "Jack was worried that you would turn him down, but I knew you wouldn't,"

"Of course I wouldn't turn him down," Kate said with a grin. She brought the journal close to her chest, and then looked down thoughtfully. "I love him too much,"

Taylor nodded, "I know, and I am so happy for you and Jack. By the way I hope I get an invitation to the wedding."

Kate's smile widened at the thought of being Mrs. Shepard one day. "You're invited, but I hope you know that it won't be in America."

"I know," Taylor said with an all knowing wink. She looked around the room and then her expression grew serious. "I wanted to give you guys something to travel with. I talked to Jack about it, but he insisted that I give it to you."

Kate closed the journal slowly, and her eyebrows furrowed low over her green eyes as she focused on Taylor. "Give me what?"

Taylor pulled a folded envelope out of her pocket, and then slipped it into Kate's hand. "I figured that this would be enough to get by on for a little while,"

Kate's eyes widened in curiosity as she accepted the bulging envelope from Taylor. She pried open the top flap and then peeked inside. A gasp escaped her throat as she looked inside at the surplus of green bills. "We can't take this," Kate shook her head, and then handed the envelope back to Taylor.

Taylor sighed, "If it makes it any easier, it's not my money, the money belongs to Sawyer."

"How could Sawyer have all this money without us knowing?"

"Sawyer used to send me money a while back, and I never cashed it. This is his money, could you please take it, because ya'll need it more than me."

Kate swallowed down a lump in her throat. "Why would Jack tell you to come to me?"

Taylor conspicuously placed the envelope back down next to Kate's hand. "He said something about you being on equal ground with him, and that you should make some of the decisions."

"But…" Kate looked down at the envelope as if the money inside was forbidden. She knew that they needed money to get by on, but whether Sawyer had given Taylor the money or not it still belonged to her. "What about Sawyer, Did you try talking to him about this?"

"I did, but he wouldn't take it."

"Sawyer?" Kate asked in confusion.

Taylor nodded with a small smile, "Yes, he's not as bad as he lets on."

"I know," Kate said biting the edge of her lip thoughtfully and then looking towards the door. "Where is Jack?"

"Outside chopping firewood," Taylor responded.

"And Sawyer?"

"Watching a movie with Chloe,"

Kate nodded as she stood up, "I'm going to go talk to Jack, I'll be right back," She walked through the house, and then pushed open the front door. It was bitterly cold outside, and the dark sky was overcast as if snow was on the way. Jack was turned away from her, with an axe in his hands, and his head bent as he looked down at a log. She smiled, it was interesting watching Jack prepare firewood, because usually Sawyer did it.

"Damn it," Jack groaned.

"Having some trouble?" Kate called.

Jack turned around in surprise. He fixed his shirt which was bunched up towards his left shoulder, "I didn't know I had an audience,"

"You'd make a sexy lumber jack, you know that."

Jack smiled, "Is that right,"

Kate closed the porch door behind her and walked over to Jack. "I wanted to talk to you about something,"

Jack placed down the axe and then gave Kate his undivided attention. "Now that my ring is on your finger, you're stuck with me, no refunds,"

Kate snickered and then playfully punched Jack in the stomach, "Why would I want to return something so pretty?"

"Me pretty…ha, I think we got ourselves mixed up Kate,"

"I'm trying to be funny again Jack," Kate grinned. She reached for his hand and then pulled him towards the porch. "Sit,"

Jack lowered himself down next to Kate, and stretched out his arms so he could wrap them around her. "I hope you don't mind,"

Kate linked her hand in between Jack's, and rested her head on his shoulder. "Did Taylor talk to you about the money?"

"Yes she did,"

"Why did you tell her to come to me?"

Jack placed his chin on top of Kate's silky tresses, "Because I wanted to talk about it with you before I made any decisions, and if Sawyer is in the mood with him too."

"Well what do you think?" Kate asked.

Jack looked upwards and then exhaled blowing out a cloud of frosty air. "I think the decision is Sawyer's, because the money does belong to him, but if I had to decide then I would say we should take it."

Kate looked down as she started to tap her foot along the porch. "I agree, but Taylor has done so much for us, I feel bad for just constantly taking from her. I wish there was some way we could pay her back."

"Maybe one day we will be able too, but now we don't have much. Our main priority is to get you out of the country…well, you and Sawyer, so I think we should take the money."

Kate leaned away from Jack and stared deep into his hazel eyes, "You think?"

Jack nodded, "That's what I think, but it doesn't mean anything until you tell me what's going on in your head. Your opinion is important to me, and besides I'm tired of being in charge alone,"

Kate smiled, "So you're giving me some of your spotlight?"

Jack stole a quick kiss on her lips, "Yes,"

"Well," Kate placed her arms on the leg of her jeans, and then tucked her hair behind her ear. "We need to leave North Carolina soon,"

"I agree, and we can't leave without money,"

"So then it's settled," Kate said with a sigh.

"Yeah," Jack agreed.

They both sat in silence for a couple of seconds thinking over their decision. Kate glanced at Jack from the corner of her eye, his head was tilted to the side and his eyes were fixed on something. "What are you looking at?"

"It's flurrying,"

Kate looked around, and for the first time she noticed the tiny specs of white dots billowing in the wind. Her mouth dropped open in excitement, and she stood up. "Wherever we go next we have to make sure it snows," She teased.

Jack smiled, "Is that the kid in you talking,"

Kate nodded, "I love the snow," She closed her eyes and then tilted her head backwards while holding out her hands. "Join me Jack,"

"Is it okay if I just watch, and admire with a smile?"

Kate nodded and then twirled around like a child. "Go ahead and make fun of me,"

"You look to cute to make fun of," Jack placed his arm against his knee and then leaned forward to watch Kate with a smile. "I think we should leave tomorrow,"

Kate stopped spinning and then turned to face Jack, "Tomorrow?"

Jack nodded, and then stood up so he could walk over to Kate. "I like staying here in North Carolina with Taylor and Chloe, but I think we should leave before we put them in any danger."

Kate looked down. "Where would we going next?"

"Somewhere further south, until we form a solid plan."

"We don't have a car,"

Jack nodded, "That's why we need the money,"

Kate thought it over, "I guess your right," She collapsed her hands down by her sides and then walked over to Jack. "So we're going to leave tomorrow huh,"

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and mimicked Kate's frown. "I know you don't want to go, but I think we have jeopardized Taylor and Chloe's lives enough. We've been so safe in North Carolina that I was actually starting to forget about Sawyer's "hitmen" or whatever you want to call them…and I have a problem with that." Jack pulled his hand out of his pocket and held it outwards to collect the quickly falling flurries. "We shouldn't forget what those guys are capable of, they nearly killed us once and if given the chance they would try again."

Kate reached out for Jack's hand. "You're right, we should leave in the morning. Now we have to tell Sawyer, Taylor and Chloe,"

"I don't think Sawyer is going to take the news to well, because I know that he likes Taylor,"

"I know," Kate said with a small smile.

Jack clenched his jaw, "She brings out the best in him. And that's all I'm going to say on that topic."

Kate crossed her arms as she looked back at Jack, "You have to promise me something though Jack, before we start traveling again."

Jack looked up, "Anything,"

"Could you please try to get along with Sawyer, I have a feeling that without Taylor, Sawyer will be on your back every second he gets."

"I could get along with Sawyer if he treated me with respect and he hasn't up till now so I doubt we'll be buddies anytime soon."

"Fine, I'll try and mediate later," Kate linked her arm in Jack's and led him towards the door. "I saw strawberries in the fridge by the way."

Jack chuckled, "Sudden change of topic…but okay,"

"When we do get married, just know that strawberries and..." Kate paused dramatically and then looked back at Jack with a cute smile. "Fill in the blanks, Strawberries and dot, dot, dot is a way to my heart,"

"Chocolate," Jack filled in easily.

Kate stole a kiss on his cheek, "You know everything I like, but I'm still missing some information on you Shepard, what's your favorite food, maybe I could make a nice dinner for you one day,"

Jack held open the door for Kate. "Well let me see, I like macaroni and cheese, the kind from the box not the homemade kind."

Kate paused where she stood, and stared back at Jack in amusement. "You're kidding me right?"

"No I'm dead serious Easy Mac was the easiest dish for me to make after a hard day of work back in L.A." Jack turned around to close the door, and then paused when he thought he saw a shadow move in the woods. Kate's hands circled around his upper arm and she pulled him away from the door, and then pushed it closed. Jack ultimately decided to categorize the sighting as nothing too critical.

"By the way I wrote you a response in the proposal book," Kate said in a low tone and an alluring smile. "It's filled with sap, so it should be right on level with you,"

Jack grinned, "I have something to look forward to later then."

* * *

"What is this group meeting for?" Sawyer asked sitting down across from Jack and Kate. "I know you proposed to her Jacko, but what do I have to do with it."

"We didn't call you here for that," Kate replied.

Sawyer reached for Kate's hand and eyed the ring with a smile. "It sure is purdy isn't it." He narrowed his eyes back at Jack, "How did ya pay for it? Did you steal someone's wallet, hold up a bank, or take an old woman's purse because that's more your style Jacko."

Kate narrowed her eyes at Sawyer and then pulled her hand back, "How Jack paid for the ring isn't important."

Sawyer shifted his eyes back towards Jack, "So what do you got to say for yourself cowboy, you got the ring, the girl…what's next the world domination?"

Jack scowled, "Can we be serious for a second?"

"I didn't expect any otherwise from you serious James," Sawyer spat.

Both Jack and Kate gave Sawyer odd glances.

"Who is James?" Kate asked.

"Your boy toy," Sawyer growled.

Kate glanced at Jack and then remembered the alias she had given him earlier. "Oh right, but don't you think we're beyond code names here Sawyer,"

Jack continued to stare back at Sawyer oddly, as if he suspected something was wrong. Sawyer cast his angry eyes back at Jack, which caused him to look away. "We're leaving tomorrow," Jack said.

Kate glanced at Sawyer waiting for his reaction. She expected him to turn down the idea, but instead he gave a careless shrug. Kate placed her cheek against her hand and continued to look on in puzzlement. "Are you okay with that Sawyer?"

"What does it matter anyways, I ain't got no say in this damn situation," Sawyer leaned forward, "So I'm guessin' Taylor asked you two to take the money and ya'll said yes,"

"We didn't have a choice," Jack explained.

Sawyer nodded, "Fine, I'll be ready in the morning," He hoisted himself up and walked towards the door. "Kate, I got something for you,"

"About what?" She asked in surprise.

Sawyer opened the door, "You buried it instead of the…" He cleared his throat when he realized that Jack was hanging onto his every word. "Why don't you just come and get it."

Kate stood up, her bare feet walked across the cold floors as she joined Sawyer by the door. She turned to look at Jack who was watching her closely. "What's wrong?"

Jack shrugged and then settled himself underneath the covers, "I'll be doing crossword puzzles until you get back," He smiled jokingly, "Or reading me what you left in the journal."

"You can read that later, wait until I'm asleep or something." Warmth surged throughout her body as Jack nodded in agreement. He brought the covers over his head and then turned over on his side.

"We're doin' an even exchange Freckles," Sawyer declared as he looked at Jack underneath the sheets in disgust.

"An even exchange for what?" Kate asked looking back at the outline of Jack's body underneath the covers in adoration and then closing the door.

"I want you to give me my gun back, in exchange for that damn airplane of yours,"

Kate's mouth dropped open in shock. She tried to speak but no words came out. After a couple of seconds of trying to compose herself Kate managed to choke out. "Airplane?"

Sawyer rolled his eyes, "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talkin' about. The damn airplane you buried in that damn whole, when you took my gun,"

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked in mock surprise as she tried to figure out how Sawyer found out about Tom's airplane. "I don't have any toy airplanes,"

Sawyer's eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes. "Ya really don't know what I'm talking about?"

"No," Kate said slowly.

"Hold on," Sawyer disappeared into Taylor's room and then returned seconds later with a small object held tightly in his hand. "I was looking for my gun, the one that you took, and I found this," He grabbed Kate's hand and forced the airplane into her hand. "You remember now huh?"

"No," Kate said in a shaky voice. Her hand started to tremble as she looked down at the miniature plane. Sawyer let go of her hand. Images of Tom flooded her mind, Kate winced at the painful memories and then she planted the plane back in Sawyer's hand. "I didn't bury this there, I buried the gun Sawyer, where is the gun?" Without taking Kate let her emotions take control and she pushed Sawyer up against the wall. The plane fell from his hand and crashed onto the floor.

He stared back at her with wide eyes. "What the…"

"Do you think this is funny? Is this your idea of some kind of sick joke Sawyer? Because you know what Sawyer it's not funny!" Kate screamed back at him with tears filling in her eyes.

"Get your hands off of me! You're the one that took my gun, and put that damn airplane in it's place so why don't I ask you the same damn question, where the fuck is my gun Kate," Sawyer grabbed onto Kate's arm, and the anger that he had managed to control up until now exploded from his mouth. "Where is my gun Kate!"

"I don't…" Kate started with the tears still flowing.

"Where is it!" Sawyer yelled once again jerking Kate around roughly.

"Hey, what's going on here!" Jack stepped out of the room and practically ran over to them when he saw the way Sawyer was man handling a visibly shaken Kate. "Get your filthy hands off of her!"

Sawyer let go of Kate as suddenly woke out of his trance of rage. He backed away from her shamefully and then cast his cold aqua saucers on Jack. "I bet you got it, where the hell is it Metro?"

"He doesn't have it!" Kate yelled.

"Why dontcha let your boyfriend answer that question," Sawyer snarled hatefully in Kate's direction. He approached Jack dangerously and then stopped inches away from him. "Where is it boy?"

Jack glanced at Kate in concern and then looked back at Sawyer enraged. "Whatever you're looking for Kate doesn't have it,"

"She did have it." Sawyer snapped.

"What is it?"

"A gun,"

Jack looked at Kate once again, who was focusing on something on the floor as if it would jump up and bite her. He pushed Sawyer aside and walked over to her. "What is it?"

"Nothing," Kate said quickly, she stormed past Jack and disappeared back into their room.

"What did you do to her?" Jack asked angrily.

Sawyer smirked, "What did I do? Wouldn't you like to know asshole, get the fuck out of my face."

Jack clenched his fists. The sight of Sawyer grabbing Kate's arm played in the back of his mind as he walked back over to him. He narrowed his eyes at Sawyer as he brushed past. Jack stepped back into the room with Kate, and closed the door behind him. "Are you okay,"

She was looking down at her hands, and her straightened chocolate locks were covering her beautiful green eyes. "I thought Sawyer was trying to be vindictive and hurtful to me intentionally, but he couldn't have because he didn't know about it," Kate said as she leaned forward to bury her face in Jack's waiting embrace.

Jack kissed her head tenderly, "Did it have to do with the airplane on the floor?"

Kate nodded, "Yes,"

Jack brushed his cheek against Kate's forehead, "Does it mean something to you?" He felt Kate place her hand on his chest and then slowly push him away. Jack looked back at her hopefully, he wasn't sure what the significance of the airplane was to her, but he was willing to listen. A tear slid down Kate's cheek and Jack wiped it away with his thumb.

Kate straightened up. "I'm fine,"

"Are you sure?" Jack repeated for the third time softly, because it was obvious to him that Kate was far from fine.

Kate cleared her throat. "I should go and apologize to Sawyer,"

"No you shouldn't, I don't like the way he treats you. If anyone should be apologizing to anyone then it's him." Jack reached out for Kate's hand and leaned in close to talk to her. "When he gets like this, I've learned its best to leave him alone."

"I slammed him up against a wall!"

"And then he grabbed you! Don't you see something wrong with that? I had to use all of my self control to stop myself from punching him. No one touches you like that Kate, not me, not Sawyer, no one!"

"Calm down," Kate said calmly.

Jack took in a deep breath and then looked down at the floor. He could feel his cheeks invade with rage, and his foot was tapping nervously on the soft carpet. "I'm sorry,"

"We're all on edge, you don't have to say sorry," Kate wiped her hands against her light brown khakis and then forced herself up, "Something isn't right,"

"What do you mean?"

"Sawyer had a gun, and I took it from him because…" Kate bit the edge of her lip as she looked back at Jack's troubled expression. She didn't really see the need to explain to Jack how suicidal Sawyer had been within the last month. "I buried his gun in the woods, and he said that he went to look for it, but he didn't find it."

"Did you consider the fact that he could be lying?" Jack asked.

"Why would he lie, there is no reason for him to," Kate placed her hand to her forehead as she started to pace, "He said he found the…in there,"

"The airplane," Jack filled in.

Kate nodded her head with much trouble. She crossed her arms nervously and then glanced around the room as if the walls were about to close in on her. What if there really was someone in the woods that night after the accident. Kate froze in fear at the thought alone.

"Kate?" Jack said in confusion.

She snapped out of it, "Yeah?"

"Take me to the place where you buried the gun, I want to check it out for myself," Jack grabbed his coat from the back of the closet, "A gun can't just disappear into a thin air. Have you went back to the spot where you buried it recently?"

"Not yet," Kate said shakily as she watched Jack sit back down on the bed to put on his shoes, "We're not going out there,"

"The gun is still out there Kate I know it, we don't have to bring it back, but Sawyer's playing with your mind, he's trying to make you feel guilty for something…"

"Jack do you hear yourself?"

"Kate, I don't want to argue with you." Jack said standing up. "How about you tell me the direction of where you buried the gun, and if there are any landmarks around the area so I can find the spot easier."

"Jack, there is something in the woods,"

"I'll be okay, and if we're going to start moving again we need some kind of defense. Now that I think about it I have you to protect, and it would be foolish of me to travel unarmed."

"You hate guns," Kate pointed out.

"Then I'll find it and let you hold onto it, I'm going out there Kate," Jack walked over to the draw and pulled out a flashlight. "You don't have to come,"

"I'll go," Kate whispered.

"If you don't feel comfortable coming with me, then I want you to stay here."

"But if I don't go then I'll worry about you non stop so I have to go,"

* * *

"You're real slick you know that," Sawyer replied as he pushed Taylor's door open. She looked up from the laundry she was folding, "This is your shirt,"

Sawyer accepted the shirt from her and held it close to his chest. "I wanted you to keep that money," He was still angry from the confrontation he just had with Jack and Kate, but he was trying to forget about it.

Taylor shook her head, "I don't need it Sawyer, but you do."

Sawyer pulled his hair back with one hand and then lowered himself down onto her bed. "I'm tired of travelin' with those two,"

Taylor stopped folding and gave him her undivided attention, "Why?"

"They got their own lives and I got mine, I don't want to be answering to anyone, and I definitely don't want anyone worrying about me. I think it's time I separated from them." Sawyer nodded his head slowly, "I don't need em', and they sure as hell don't need me."

"I don't want you to leave at all,"

Sawyer looked up slowly, his eyes connected with the piercing clarity of Taylor's cerulean eyes. He drew in a breath, and then forced himself to look down troubled. He didn't want to leave either, because he cared about her and even the kid. Sawyer placed his hand to his forehead and leaned forward. "Why do you say things like that?"

"I guess I wasn't thinking, it um…it slipped out," Taylor swiped her bangs aside and then focused back on her laundry. "I want you to go with Jack and Kate,"

"I don't need em." Sawyer repeated.

"You need someone. The thought of you being all alone out there with all this baggage on your shoulders, and no one to confide in scares me."

"Don't be scared, 'cause I'm not," He replied with a determined expression.

"Of course you're not scared Sawyer, because you don't care whether you live or die." Taylor reached out and placed her hand on Sawyer's shoulder. "I'll worry about you regardless, but even more so if you're on your own."

"How about if I send you little cards," Sawyer tried to joke weakly. His joke quickly fell flat because his tone was dead and there was a certain sadness in his eyes. "I need a cigarette,"

"Could you talk to me for a little longer?" Taylor asked softly.

Sawyer patted the pocket of his jeans where a pack of cigarettes waited to be smoked, and then allowed his hand to collapse onto the bed. "Fine then Sunshine, talk,"

"I was really happy that day I saw you on the street. You know when your car broke down."

Sawyer nodded, "Bad luck,"

Taylor looked down sadly, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Not because of you, but um…ah, shit. I didn't mean it like that." Sawyer looked around the room awkwardly unable to rest his eyes on Taylor. "I'm glad I saw you again…but yeah, we're leaving first thing in the morning." The mood was getting to heavy for him, so he forced himself up.

"I know how angry it makes you that Kate doesn't love you the way she loves Jack." Taylor stated.

"What the hell does that…"

"Sawyer let me finish, I'm not going with this where you think."

* * *

"I'm just going to tell Taylor that we're going to step out," Jack said reaching outwards to open the door. He stopped however, when he heard Taylor and Sawyer arguing. "What is it now?" Jack whispered to Kate.

Kate raised an eyebrow in concern, even though her eyes were fixed on the airplane abandoned in the corner. Jack tried to open the door again, she quickly snapped out of it and grabbed Jack's arm. "Hold on a second,"

"I don't give a damn about Kate! As far as I see it, the girl ain't my responsibility, if she dies her blood isn't on my hands, it's all on his." Sawyer snorted loudly, "James or Jack or whatever the hell he wants to be called these days, I'm done with them both! Especially her! I'm done!"

"Sawyer, you don't mean that." Taylor scolded.

Jack turned to look at Kate who seemed to be taking Sawyer's comments without any trouble even though he knew otherwise, "How about we just go,"

Kate nodded, "Yeah, let's just go."

Seconds later Kate and Jack were both outside walking through the darkened forest. Bare trees hovered ominously above their heads and the moon was hidden behind a mass of gray clouds. The flurries had now ceased, but a thin coating of precipitation and ice now covering the scattered leaves and dirt remained.

Kate stepped over a beached tree branch in the soil and then turned around to check on Jack. He was right behind her, so close that she could feel his chest rise every time he took a breath. "You don't have to be so close you know," She said in a somber tone. Sawyer's harsh words weighed down on her more than she expected, and the sight of the airplane made her think about Tom. Kate was going through a period of emotional exhaustion.

"You were scared about coming out here earlier, so I want to provide you with a little reassurance," Jack stepped over the branch and then reached for Kate's hand, "Nothings going to happen."

"I know," Kate said with a shiver. "I just don't like woods, I never have." She looked around cautiously and then focused back on Jack. "I buried the gun somewhere around here,"

Jack looked around the ominous setting. He pointed the flashlight in the direction of the trees causing golden beams of light to bounce off tree barks and twisted branches. "Do you remember where you buried it exact…"

The sound of crunching leaves overtook the concentration in Jack's mind. He jerked around suddenly in fight or flight mode with his flashlight pointed in front of him and Kate. Jack trained his eyes on the dark abyss around him and Kate. His breath highlighted the night air in cloudy smoke as his breathing pattern increased. Jack quickly switched the flashlight to his other hand and then reached behind him for Kate's hand. "Did you hear that?"

"I heard it," Kate replied shakily with fear apparent in her eyes.

Jack swallowed down a wad of nervousness in his throat. He gripped Kate's hand tighter as he continued to train the shaking flashlight on the darkness around them. The light dimmed. Jack looked down at the flashlight in fear. "The battery might die soon, where did you bury the gun Kate?" Jack asked as calmly as possible underneath the circumstances.

"We should go back," Kate said quickly as she turned around to walk back to Taylor's house. Her hand was still inside of Jack's protecting grasp, and he wasn't budging. "You heard that right!" Kate screamed. "Something or someone is out here with us let's go Jack, Now!"

"We did hear something, but it could just be a deer. We need some kind of protection whether we're planning on using the gun or not." Jack reasoned. The light dimmed once more, and then the battery died. "No, not now!" Jack slammed his hand against the flashlight and then groaned when it refused to turn back on. He looked up at Kate in defeat and then nodded, "Okay, we'll go back,"

The wind whistled loudly, and a branch snapped somewhere behind them. The forest suddenly grew darker as the silvery light of the moon disappeared behind the clouds once again.

Kate turned around startled. She stopped walking and then trained her eyes on the shadows behind them. Her mouth dropped open in sheer horror at the sight of someone running towards them. Jack's name was on the tip of her tongue, but at the moment she was gripped with fear and she couldn't move.

Jack heard the quickly approaching footsteps. He glanced behind them, and his face twisted into an expression of fear. It was too dark to make out a face, and the person was running to fast towards them as well. Within seconds Jack was knocked off his feet, and he fell backwards onto the ground with a hard thud. Jack's head snapped upwards as it collided with the hard ground. He lost his consciousness briefly and came back to when he started to experience a sharp pain crushing through his scull. Jack opened his eyes weakly to make out the back of a rifle being slammed down repeatedly onto his face. He yelled in agony, and his hands flew up to his bloody nose. Jack's thoughts were scrambled together, and his mind was lost in a fog at as he struggled to free himself from the recurring trauma to his head. Kate was screaming behind him. The sound of her voice forced him to keep up the struggle, but he was down, unarmed, and even worse barely conscious.

The back of the rifle crashed into Jack's face again. The salty taste of blood flooded his mouth, and he cringed in pain as a boot crashed down onto his stomach. Jack threw his head back as he felt his bones being crushed underneath the weight.

"Stop!" Kate screamed.

Kate. Tears streamed down Jack's face as he tried to force himself up. He had made a vow to protect her, and he wasn't going to let her down. The boot crashed down onto Jack's chest once again knocking the wind out of him. His vision started to grow blurry, as the excruciating pain started to take over his bruised and battered body. The last thing Jack remembered before being kicked in the side once more was the cold sensation of the rifle being pressed against his face.

Kate struggled to pull herself upwards. She had been thrown to the side like a rag doll, as soon as Jack was attacked. Kate frantically searched for a weapon to use against the man, she heard Jack groan in agony. Tears streamed from her eyes as she watched the man attack Jack viciously. She wasn't going to let him kill Jack. She would rather die trying to save his life. Without thinking Kate forced herself up, and ran towards the attacker full force. She tackled him to the ground, and then started to wrestle with him. In his hands he held a rifle, and as Kate tried to grab it from him, he positioned the gun towards her and then slammed the end into her stomach. Kate threw her head back in anguish, and a blood curling high pitched scream escaped her throat. She was then tossed backwards off of the attacker, and her body crumpled lifelessly to the damp ground. Kate's breathing was labored, and she weakly watched as the man got back up, he looked down at her, and then stalked back over to Jack. His combat boots came within centimeters of her face as she watched him. "Ja…" Tears streamed down her face as she weakly tried to call out Jack's name, but she didn't have the energy.

"Get up, Get the hell up!" The attacker yelled at Jack. Jack tried to crawl away but the attacker slammed his foot down on his back violently and then bent down to kick Jack in the back of the head. "I said get up!"

Kate started to cry harder. "Stop! Leave him alone!" Dirt covered her hands as she struggled to force herself up. The pain that was surging throughout her stomach was unbearable, and a coarse cough escaped her lungs as she tried to scream again."Someone help! Help!"

"Shut up!" The attacker directed at her

Kate screamed again as she heard Jack whimper in pain. With all the strength she could muster Kate threw her head back and let out the loudest, high pitched, gut wrenching scream she could manage. Horror washed over her face as she watched the attacker point the rifle at Jack's head. Her arms started to shake uncontrollably as she hoisted herself up for the third time. Every bone in her body ached and screamed as she got back on her feet. Kate was drained and devoid of energy, but she wasn't going to give up, she had to save Jack.

The gun was aimed at an ailing Jack, and the attacker started to pull back the trigger.

Kate wasn't going to give up, as long as she was alive she wasn't going to allow him to hurt Jack. Using all of the strength she had left, Kate threw herself onto him. The man started to swing around wildly. Kate wrapped her arms around his neck and tried to choke him. He grabbed for her arms, and tried to pull her off of him, but Kate held on tighter. The gun dropped from his hand and he started to stumble around blindly. Kate's eyes widened in fear as she realized that he was backing up against a tree, before she had a chance to get off of his back, he rammed her against the rough bark. Another tortured scream escaped her throat as her back cracked nosily, and she collapsed off of him slumping to the ground.

"Why do you keep doing that! What is wrong with you Kate!" He yelled.

Through the excruciating pain Kate was able to realize that he had addressed her by her first name. She looked back at him in fear, her eyes were wide and glued to the back of his head. For the first time she started to realize that she hadn't seen his face.

"I'm trying to help you out here, save you from him." He whispered maniacally.

Kate tore her eyes away from him, one hand clutched her aching stomach, and the other scrambled around in the damp mud and leaves for a weapon. She felt the cold surface of a large rock underneath her hand. Kate weakly grabbed for it.

"Not so fast!" Swiftly he turned around and brought his foot down onto her hand.

Kate bit the inside of her cheek in order to keep the scream that was begging to be released under control. She grunted and then squeezed her eyes shut trying to tolerate the immense pain her body was in. Her thought shifted to Jack. At the thought of him, her eyes opened and she looked at him fearfully.

"You don't really love him ya know."

Kate struggled to fill her lungs with air. She glanced past the dark green pants and boots of their attacker in order to witness Jack struggling to get up. Her mouth dropped open in shock. No Jack! Just don't get up, please!

"What's wrong, I'm not trying to scare you, Tom would never hurt his beloved Kate,"

Kate tore her eyes away from Jack. Her breathing rate decreased, and goose bumps started to form along her arms. She could swear that he had just mentioned Tom's name in addition to hers once again, but that couldn't be. Her eyes widened in terror as he brought his face closer to hers. Something inside of her snapped, and she lost complete control. Kate turned her head away from him desperately and shuddered violently once his face was close enough for her to get a good look at him. His face terrified her, she couldn't look at him, she didn't want to. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she tried to break away from him.

"How could you move on from Tom so quickly? After what you did to him."

Kate gasped and then looked back at his face once more. Trepidation gripped her soul, and she lost control once again. Loud screams echoed throughtout the frigid night air, and she turned her head away from him. His hand gripped her shoulder, and Kate pulled at his arm, kicked outwards, struggled anyway she could to get away from him.

His hair was cut short and it was a dark shade of brown. He touched her again. Kate quivered in fear.

"Get away from me!" She screamed.

"Tom is here,"

Kate screamed. No, this wasn't happening. Tom was dead. He was dead. Tears streamed down her face as she looked back at the man who obviously wasn't Tom, but resembled him freakishly. He forced himself onto Kate, and grabbed her by her waist.

"Don't touch me! Get off of me, Jack! Jack!" Kate screamed for Jack even though she knew he couldn't save her because she was frightened to death, and in a state of shock. She struggled with the Tom look alike but he was too strong. He wrestled her to the ground and then pinned her hands behind her head.

"You shouldn't be scared, I won't hurt you." He stood up and then reached in his pocket for a cloth.

Kate's eyes widened in panic as he brought the cloth downwards onto her face. From behind him, Jack staggered towards them with the shovel in his hand. He was clearly out of it, but his eyes were fixed on Kate in horror. She could tell what he was thinking, Jack was trying to save her, but he was clearly in bad condition.

"Not so fast!"

The weight shifted off of Kate and then the"Tom" look alike, barreled the gun handle across the side of Jack's face.

The impact caused Jack to violently jerk to the side. His arms flailed wildly as his head snapped to the right, and he fell down to the ground in a lifeless heap.

"Ja…Jack," Kate stammered trying to get to him, but it was too late. The cloth was placed over her mouth, she gagged, and struggled, but her attempts proved futile. A hand rested behind her head as her eyes slowly fluttered closed. The last thing she saw before she sunk into the black abyss of darkness was Jack, lying there lifelessly, so helpless, so in need of saving, but as far away from her as possible.

(Thank you so much for the reviews last chapter! Same goes as last time I'll answer all reviews still...I miss answering them here, but if anyone has any question ask away, and I'll answer. Jillian, by reply is in the review section, it's underneath the users names that signed in and I click it, and I can respond to their question. Hope that clears things up.)


	13. Abandoned

Chapter 13- Abandoned

Jack struggled to lift himself up off of the ground. His body ached, and it felt as if every bone in his body had been broken. Kate. Jack winced in pain as his thoughts shifted back to her. He dug his hands weakly into the dirt, and tried once again to hoist himself upwards, but his body gave out underneath him. Jack collapsed onto the damp ground, causing his chest to throb with pain at the rough impact. His eyelids started to close, and the world around him started to grow dark. Thoughts of Kate haunted his subconscious thoughts once again causing him to reopen his eyes. He wasn't going to give up, and he couldn't because he loved Kate too much. Jack had promised to protect her, and if he failed on his promise then he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself. Kate represented everything in Jack's life worth living for. She brought sides out of him that he didn't know that he possessed, and he didn't want to go back to the life he had without her. Jack grunted in agony as his muscles pulled and stretched in protest as he tried to hoist himself back up. Warm blood dribbled from his nose, and he could feel the sharp throbbing sting from his lip which seemed to be bust open. Once again Jack fell to the ground, breathing in the dirt. If he couldn't force himself up, then he would crawl. Jack dragged his body across the damp mud. Whenever he felt the urge to give up, he thought about Kate being all alone with the lunatic that had attacked them. Fear gripped his soul, and pain overtook his weak body, but his love for Kate was stronger than both.

As Jack continued to dig his hands into the loose soil, and drive his tired body forward, his hands grazed across something small, and solid. Jack paused to reach out for it. His arm burned with objection as he reached forward to pick up the tiny object. Once he had the item in his hand he looked down at it through swollen eyes. It was the engagement ring that he had given to Kate. Heart wrenching agony traveled up Jack's spine, and he felt his sanity start to slip further away from him. A loud yell escaped his throat as he threw his head back; expressing the tortured state he was in. "Kate!"

Jack gripped onto the ring tightly. Kate was the only woman he truly loved, and he would be damned if he would let anything happen to her. He felt himself starting to feel light headed and woozy again, but he refused to give in. "Not now, hol…hold on Kate," He stammered. Sweat dripped down his face as he continued to push his ailing body onward.

"Jack, we heard screams from the house, what the hell happened!"

Jack recognized Sawyer's voice behind him, but he was too ashamed to look at him. Regret gripped his soul, because he had been caught off guard, and allowed Kate to be taken. What kind of man was he? Jack bit the inside of his cheek as he felt himself start to fall apart. The soreness surged throughout his body once again, causing him to feel vulnerable to passing out any second. But his disgrace was too heavy. Why couldn't that man have taken him, instead of Kate? Jack struggled some more. The last thing he remembered before blacking out was Kate trying to protect him. She had attacked that man, and he had attacked her back. Kate was probably in worse shape than him. "Kate," Jack groaned weakly.

Sawyer was now kneeling beside him with one hand on his back. "Don't move, you're in bad condition…where is she, where is Kate."

Jack didn't know how to respond, so he kept to himself, and continued to weakly bring himself closer towards the direction he believed Kate had been taken to. Sawyer stopped him. "Get off of me!"

"What happened? I can't do nothin' about it until you tell me." Sawyer said with a shaky voice, it was obvious that he was trying to hold his emotions in, but he was failing. "Damn it! What happened out here, who attacked you and where is Kate!" Sawyer exploded.

Jack collapsed against the ground. His body wore out, and his eyes slid closed.

* * *

Sawyer looked down at Jack with mixed emotions. Jack was hurt, and a part of Sawyer knew that he needed to get him to Taylor, but then again Kate could be in even worse condition, and Sawyer cared about Kate a hell of a lot more than Jack. He kept his hand on Jack's back as he looked around for Kate. "Kate!" He yelled.

Sawyer's eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes when he got no response. He had to find Kate, Jack was his second priority. Sawyer looked down at Jack, and tried to tell himself that he didn't give a damn about him, and it didn't matter if he died right there. But all he had to do was take two steps before he realized that he couldn't leave Jack all bloody and bruised on the ground. Sawyer quickly dropped down onto his knees and brought Jack to sit upwards, and after some difficulty he managed to swing him over his shoulders. Sawyer grunted at the extra weight as he lifted himself back up, and walked unsteadily back to Taylor's.

"I have...Kate." Jack started to mumble completely out of it.

"Save you energy," Sawyer responded quickly. He walked as fast as he could back to Taylor's house, hoping that Chloe was in bed so she wouldn't have to see Jack like this. Jack started to slide down Sawyer's shoulder, so he quickly pulled him back upwards while reaching out for the door. Sawyer had to drop off Jack and then find Kate right away. Regret was still heavy on his mind after the things he had said about her before she went missing.. He opened the door out of breath and searched around for Taylor.

"Taylor, where are you." Sawyer said looked around dazed. Jack was starting to get heavy again, and he had to fight the urge to drop him down onto the floor, and search for Taylor without the extra weight.

"I'm here Sawyer, what's wrong?" Taylor said as she stepped from the back. She cast her sapphire eyes on Sawyer at first and then at Jack swung over his shoulder, "Oh my god! What happened to him?"

"I found him in the woods, I don't know what happened but he's alive." Sawyer looked around worriedly, "Watch him for me will ya, I need to find…"

Taylor ran over to Jack, she opened his eyes to check his pupils, and then leaned forward to make sure he was still breathing. "Set him down for me," Tears were welling in her eyes, but she struggled to appear as calm as possible. "Whe.Where's Kate?"

Sawyer clenched his jaw, and swallowed nervously. "I don't know,"

Taylor placed her shaking hand underneath Jack's head, "What do you mean you don't know Sawyer, she was with Jack! Where is she? Did you look for her?"

"I couldn't find her!" Sawyer exploded angrily back at Taylor. The pressure from the situation was making him crack. Sawyer buried his face in his hands. He didn't want to deal with this shit right now. He didn't want to care about these people, or yell at Taylor, he just wanted to be alone. What was he supposed to do? What if the people after him had found him again, and what if they were the ones that had taken Kate. His heart started to pound furiously, dangerously close to ripping out of his chest. "I'm going after her,"

"Sawyer!" Taylor exclaimed.

"She's out there somewhere."

"What makes you think they won't attack you like they did Jack? Look at him, he's in bad condition. I don't want the same thing to happen to you. I'm calling the cops, Sawyer you can't go out there alone,"

"I'm leavin."

"Sawyer, please," Taylor begged.

Sawyer looked down with his jaw clenched. He knew he had to go after Kate, because he felt obligated to try and save her. His guilt increased as he looked down at Jack, and then deep into Taylor's scared eyes. He felt obligated to keep them all safe. "Lock the door, and dontcha open it for anyone else but me."

"Sawyer!"

"Keep Chloe close by, and watch him. Keep that door locked ya hear me." He repeated. Sawyer opened the door and then disappeared outside leaving Taylor looking after him in alarm.

Trepidation gripped Sawyer's soul as he looked around the dark woods. Kate could be anywhere. He wasn't sure how he planned to help her without any kind of defense, especially if the people he was in trouble with were after him. Sawyer looked down as he shook his head. Too many people had died because of him, and it was time that he put an end to it, he had to draw the line at Kate. As Sawyer trekked deeper into the forest, he couldn't help but to worry about Taylor back at the house all alone. Handling all of these emotions at once almost made Sawyer feel disgusted with himself. He didn't want to care, but yet he did. That's why he was setting himself up for death, trudging through the forest after Kate, unarmed, and with visions of death imminent in the back of his head. Sawyer thought about turning around to make sure Taylor had locked the door, but he had to believe that she was going to be okay.

* * *

"I have to get to her," Jack said weakly as he tried to get up.

"Don't move Jack," Taylor said placing a warm cloth to his forehead as she tried to clean around the cuts. She then reached for a bottle of peroxide and some cotton balls. "Sawyer went after Kate, he's going to bring her back."

"I just let him take her," Jack said bitterly as he tried to lift his body up again. The muscles in his lower back, groaned and ached in agony, but he ignored the pain still trying to get up.

"Jack, please," Taylor begged. She placed her hands on his shoulders and then gently brought him back downwards. "You're still bleeding, and you have a lot of open wounds that I need to stitch up," Taylor cleaned his cuts with the peroxide, and then worked on stitching him with what she had available to her. "What you really need is to see a doctor," Her blue eyes rested on the door in worry as she talked to Jack. What if something happened to them? And how would she know if they needed help? As these questions raced through her mind, Taylor glanced at the phone debating whether she should call the cops or not.

"Mommy, what happened to Jack?" Chloe asked in a small voice as she came behind Taylor.

"Chloe, go back to bed," Taylor said trying to avoid her daughter's question. She placed her hand on Chloe's lower back and then ushered the little girl back towards her room, "Jack just had a bad fall, but he'll be all better in the morning."

"Can I help you? Can I ask him if hot chocolate will make him feel better?"

"I'll make him some. But in the meantime, why don't you go back to sleep okay honey."

Chloe looked down at Jack sadly, "He looks like he is in a lot of pain. Did someone do that to him?"

Taylor bit her lip as she saw tears starting to form in her daughters eyes, "No,"

"I heard Sawyer say that Kate was missing…where is she? And where is Sawyer?"

Taylor opened her mouth to comment, but no words would come out. She looked down at Jack who was drifting in and out of consciousness, and then looked away. "Everything is going to be okay, just go back to sleep."

"Where are Kate and Sawyer?"

"They'll be back,"

"I think heard Kate screaming." Chloe said shaking her head, she sunk down to the floor and then clutched the teddy bear she held in her hands tighter. "I was sleeping, and then I woke up to the sounds of screams. It sounded far away, but I still heard them." Chloe bit her lip, "I think it was Kate,"

Jack opened his eyes, "Kate,"

Taylor wiped at the tears that had formed on Chloe's cheeks, "It's going to be okay, it was probably just a bad dream."

"What if it wasn't, and what if they're hurt?"

Jack forced himself up and this time he was successful, which surprised both Taylor and Chloe. "They're not going…" He winced and grabbed his rib cage as a sharp ache gripped his body. "They're not going to get hurt,"

"Jack," Taylor said with wide eyes. She leaped up and carefully placed her hand on his lower arm. "You're in no condition to go back out there,"

"I let him take her," Jack repeated in disdain. "It doesn't matter what condition I'm in, I have to get Kate back," He opened the door and limped out into the night air. He nearly fell but he caught himself by grabbing onto the porch rail. "Kate is out there somewhere, and I'm going to find her," Limping and holding his hand close to his ribs which felt cracked and bruised Jack stumbled out into the woods. Jack loved Kate, and he had to get her back no matter what the cost.

* * *

Kate slowly opened her eyes. She looked around her in confusion. Where was she? What just happened? Realization started to wash over her as she looked around the cold basement. Miniature flying airplanes hung from the ceiling, and her mug shot had been copied over and over and taped to the walls. Her eyes widened in fear, and she started to grow terrified when she realized that she was tied to a chair with rope. Who was this crazy man that had tied her up, and how did he know her name. Kate shuddered when she remembered what he had looked like, he resembled Tom closely. A gasp escaped her throat when the basement door opened. Kate worked on loosening herself from the rope, but it was tied to tightly so she only succeeded in increasing the pain that shot through her wrists. Kate focused her eyes on the floor, as he stopped right in front of her and then cupped her chin in his hand.

Kate tried to jerk her head away from him, but his grip strengthened and he dug his hands deeper into her skin. She grimaced and then squeezed her eyes shut. "What do you want from me?"

"I admire you," He said eerily.

"What," Kate said pulling her head away from him. "You don't know me,"

"I do, I know that you're a fugitive, and I know why too,"

Kate shifted uneasily in the chair as he squinted down at her with darkness in his light eyes, "You're sick," she spat.

"I heard about your story on the news once. I remember thinking that you don't look like a murderer even though you are."

Kate's swallowed down a lump in her throat nervously. She looked away with tears in her eyes as she tried to ignore the truth.

"I saw something in you that reminded me of myself," He continued as he touched her leg and then gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Don't touch me!" Kate screamed.

He let go, and then stood up in anger. "The name is Timmy by the way, and if you had a fan club, then I would be your biggest fan."

Kate shivered at his statement.

Timmy paced back and forth with a sick smile. "This is a small world isn't it…never in a million years would I have thought that I would run into you…after all this time, of idolizing you…"

"Idolizing me, what the hell is wrong with you!" Kate cried.

Timmy nodded, "Yes idolizing you, I was touched by your story, you had a rough childhood like me." He cackled to himself and then looked down, "I bet you're glad she's dead after the pain she caused you."

"Who's dead" Kate asked cautiously as she looked back at Timmy in disbelief.

"Oh, you didn't know…Diane passed away a couple of weeks ago." He nodded in thought and then turned back to Kate, "The news was nothing big, but I found it on a crime website underneath your name, Austen,"

Kate looked down in remorse allowing the news to sink in. "She's dead,"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter, none of it matters, except for the fact that I'm here now, Timmy is here,"

Tears stained her cheek, as Timmy came closer to her. She just wanted to be with Jack, make sure that he was okay, and get away from this man. Timmy dropped down in front of her once again.

"Did you really love the doctor?"

Kate remained silent.

"Do you think you love him like you loved Tom?"

"You don't know anything about Tom,"

"Sure I do, he was your childhood sweetheart that you recently killed in a car accident, if you ask me personally, he's the only person that you ever truly loved, and that's why I admire him. But I don't like the doctor, I've watched you with him, and I don't believe that you love him."

"I do love Jack," Kate said through gritted teeth as she looked back at Timmy.

"No you don't."

"Just because you researched my life for your own sick and twisted purposes doesn't mean that you know anything about me."

Timmy slammed his hands down on the arm rests of Kate's chair startling her. "Fine then let him find you, all I wanted to do was help, but obviously you don't want it. The Marshall is very close by…and I have a feeling the longer you resist me, the quicker he's going to find you." He stalked over to a rifle resting in the corner. "Maybe I am crazy, but when I want something I go after it and get it." Timmy picked up the rifle and then checked the ammo, "I'll be right back after I finish the job,"

"Finish what job!"

Timmy smiled, "Just be ready when I get back…oh right, you're going to have to wait for me, considering that you're all tied up." He chuckled to himself evilly.

"What are you doing with that rifle?" Kate asked wearily.

"I'm going to go finish off the job that I started and kill me a doctor."

"Don't touch him!" Kate screamed as she kicked her legs outwards and fought to free herself from the rope tied tightly around her wrists. "Just leave him alone, and I'll go with you, please…just don't hurt him."

Timmy's eyes softened as he looked back at the disaster that was Kate in front of him. His gun dropped down by his side and he walked over to her slowly. "You'll go with me if I don't hurt him?"

"Yes, just please…" Kate's head slid downwards and she started to cry harder. "If it's me that you want, then just take me…but let Jack live,"

Timmy brought his face closer to Kate's.

She turned her head away from him, as he brought his face uncomfortably close. Timmy stroked her cheek, and then brought his lips close to hers. "Jack, would die anyways if he stayed with you. People like us don't change, we put ourselves before others, and if you gave it time you would do the same to Jack. Abandon him, when he got in your way, and keep on running selfishly without looking back."

Kate bit her lip in order to conceal the comments that were on the tip of her tongue. Before she could react Timmy pressed his lips against hers. Her stomach lurched violently in disgust, and she screamed, but her screams were muffled by his mouth. She kicked her legs wildly in protest, her knee caught him in the stomach and he doubled over in agony.

"Bitch!" He yelled.

Kate's eyes widened as he jumped up. Within seconds the back of his hand was across her face. Her head jerked to the right, and then dropped weakly. Kate struggled with the rope that held her prisoner, as she tried to ignore the burning sensation that now occupied her face.

"You like to test me, and make me angry. I never planned on hitting you, but you kicked me. I don't like to be kicked!" Timmy gingerly picked back up his rifle, "I'm going to take care of them before we leave,"

"Don't touch…."

Timmy pointed the rifle at Kate causing her to close her mouth.

"Don't touch who? The doctor? The damn fcking doctor! He's dead, I'm going to kill him first, and then I'm going to bring him back here…bring his body to you, and see what you think. So you can let me know if I did a good job." Timmy smiled wickedly.

"You're crazy! Don't touch him, or I'll kill you myself!" Tears flowed down her face steadily, and her body was shaking with fear.

Timmy shook his head as he lowered the rifle, "Just be thankful that I gave the blonde back the ring, I thought it would be a peace offering before I started taking them out one by one."

Kate lowered her head.

"The good die first, and then I'm going to kill Sawyer. I'll save him for last, because he's just like us, his heart is black, and filled with darkness. So he'll be the final sacrifice." Timmy started to walk up the stairs. Kate screamed after him, but he closed the door and then smiled. Now it was time to have fun.

* * *

Jack heard footsteps approaching. He stopped, and then looked through his swollen eyes for any signs of movement. A figure walked towards him with a rifle drawn. Swallowing nervously Jack limped over to a tree, and sought refuge behind the towering structure. He winced in pain as he lowered himself downwards. His legs felt weak and wobbly, and his energy was depleted, but he knew he had to keep going. The figure stopped walking, and the whistling stopped.

His eyes widened in horror as he observed the figure. Jack expected the man to walk over towards his direction, but instead he remained where he stood for a couple of seconds and then he started to whistle again, and then walk. Jack watched him closely, and five minutes later after he was out of sight, Jack grabbed onto the tree gathering all the strength he could muster to pull himself back upwards. He stumbled back towards the direction the man had came from, and walked for at least a minute until a small house came into view.

* * *

Kate squirmed around as she tried to free herself for the millionth time that night. She stomped her foot angrily in frustration. Kate had to free herself; because she had to get to Jack in time. Nothing else even mattered. Just him. Kate screamed as she brought her right arm upwards, the rope cut deep into her flesh and the warm sensation of blood dripped down her wrist. She tried harder, growing more frustrated and desperate as the pain increased.

Footsteps echoed through the basement from upstairs. Kate struggled harder, biting her lip as her skin grew rawer from the expertly tied rope. The basement door opened and then the light turned off.

Kate gasped.

"Kate?" Came a whisper.

Her mouth dropped open in shock. It couldn't be. Tears started to flow again, at the sound of Jack's voice. "Jack!" She screamed.

"Kate!"

"I'm here, I'm here, Jack help me! He's crazy, he'll be back! Please get me out of here!"

"I'm going to get you out…" Jack grabbed onto his stomach as another pain shot through him. He flipped on the lights looking around for any traps, and then his eyes rested on Kate. "Kate," He whispered to himself. Jack half stumbled, and half ran down the stairs towards her. "I'm so sorry, I…" He fell to the floor.

"Jack!"

Jack weakly pushed himself back upwards. "I'm sorry I let…"

"Just get me out of here," Kate pleaded.

Jack forced himself back upwards with trembling arms that felt about as strong as spaghetti noodles. He got behind Kate and then examined the tight knot around her bound wrists, he didn't have the energy to untie it himself, so he frantically searched around the freezing basement for something sharp.

"There's a knife over there," Kate said motioning her head towards the right.

"Where?" Jack asked grasping onto the back of her chair for support as beads of sweat started to fall down his face. His eyelids started to grow heavy but Jack forced himself onwards. "Where Kate,"

"By the guns Jack, hurry!"

Once Jack found the knife he staggered back over to Kate, and then fell down to his knees. He brought the rope into his shaking hands and placed the knife underneath so he could cut away at it. Once Kate was free, she jumped up from the chair.

"I thought he was going to hurt you, I'm so glad you're okay, I'm so glad." She wrapped her arms around him tightly, and then kissed his bruised face.

Jack nodded weakly as he struggled to fill his lungs with air. "Who is he Kate," His eyelids started to close, and he felt himself starting to fall backwards.

"Jack, not now," Kate said wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "I have to get you out of here, before he comes back."

As Kate stood up, Jack slowly stood up as well.

"Grab the gun," He stammered.

Kate nodded, and grabbed onto Jack's hand tighter as she picked up one of the guns that were placed carelessly underneath the photo copied mug shots of her. Kate shivered as she looked at them, and then checked the safety on the gun.

"I'll hold it," Jack said slowly.

"No, I got it," Kate turned Jack towards her as they continued to walk, and looked at him in pain. "You're barley conscious how did you get out here?"

"I don't know, I just knew I had to save you," Jack rested his head on Kate's shoulder as he felt himself starting to grow lethargic. "Life doesn't make sense without you, at least not anymore,"

Kate gripped the gun tighter. Jack was starting to grow heavier on her shoulders. He fell forward but Kate caught him. "Jack," she whispered shaking his shoulders.

"Oww," He moaned.

Kate placed her hand to her forehead in worry. "Oh god, what are we going to do? And how am I going to get you out of here?"

The door opened.

Kate gasped, and then quickly got back up. She swung Jack's arm back around her shoulder and then grabbed onto his shirt as she struggled to bring him back down the stairs.

"It hurts, Kate don't move me…ahh," Jack groaned.

"I know it hurts, and I'm going to take care of you as soon as we get out of here okay," Kate said tearfully. She planted a quick kiss on Jack's swollen eye, and then looked towards the door. Kate rested Jack down on the ground and then reached for the gun turning off the safety.

* * *

Taylor gently ran her hands through her daughter's curly hair as she hummed softly to her. Chloe was sleeping in her lap and her hands were tightly gripping onto Taylor's sweater. Taylor sighed, because she hated seeing her daughter so frightened. But at least now she was asleep so she could leave the worrying to her mom. Taylor closed her eyes as she tried to chase away the disturbed images of something horrible happening to Jack, Kate, and Sawyer. She had to have faith and believe that they were okay.

The door opened in the back.

Taylor sat up in alert mode, and the tiny blonde hairs rose on her neck. She turned around to look behind her in fear, with wide darting eyes. Sawyer wouldn't come through the back door, and neither would Jack or Kate. What if it was the same person that had attacked Jack? Fearfully Taylor quickly picked Chloe up in her arms, and stood up with her eyes targeted on her room.

"Stop where you are,"

Taylor gasped and held onto her daughter tighter. She looked down at Chloe who was now awake and looked back at her scared. "Hide behind me,"

"Mommy, I'm scared," Chloe whined with tears forming in her eyes.

"Hide behind me okay, and don't move." Taylor begged. She placed her daughter behind her, and then turned to the gun man with her hands up. "Take what you want, we don't have much, but whatever you want you can have, just please don't hur…"

"I said don't move!" He narrowed his eyes menacingly at Taylor and then targeted his gun at a vase on the mantle. He pulled the trigger, and the piercing explosion from the gun shattered the silence.

Both Taylor and Chloe screamed. Chloe grabbed onto the legs of her moms pants and buried her face inside.

"Where are they?" He growled. When Taylor didn't respond he stepped dangerously closer. "Where is the damn doctor, and your little boyfriend…where are they?" He spoke slow and maniacal.

Taylor looked around her to make sure that Chloe was still safely hidden behind her. She blinked rapidly as the armed man stepped closer. "Please, don't hurt us…"

"Shut up!" He barked.

Taylor closed her mouth and the room was filled with Chloe's cries.

The armed man raised his gun, and directed it at Taylor. "Any last words before I kill you?"

(Thank you every one for reviewing last chapter! You'll are great, and I think next chapter might be Timmy's last, he's a little too crazy for me...lol, thanks again.)


	14. Shades of Yesterday

Chapter 14- Shades of Yesterday

As Kate held Jack in her arms her eyes drifted around the darkened cellar. She could make out tiny airplanes suspended from the ceiling eerily with tiny white strings. Her lips started to tremble at thoughts of Tom, but she struggled to control it. Kate realized that she couldn't fall apart now, because she had to hold herself together for Jack. She swallowed down wad of nervousness and despair as she clutched onto Jack's shirt tighter. Her mind was being cruel, and every time she closed here eyes she saw the motionless and blank expression painted on Tom's face after she had killed him. Kate squeezed her eyes shut and then placed her trembling hands over them in attempts to hide her tears. She couldn't understand how this man could look so much like Tom. Her Tom, who was innocent, and caring, and who would never hurt a soul. Kate forced herself to shake all thoughts of Timmy out of her head. She didn't want to think about him anymore because when she saw him, she saw Tom. Kate winced in pain as she flashback to the night she had kissed Tom before going to see Diane in the morning. As Kate shook her head in desperation to forget she reached out for Jack's hand. He seemed to realize her distress so he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. No she didn't want to remember. Not here not now! Kate removed her other hand from Jack's chest and placed it over her eyes as the tears started to steadily fall.

Jack's head stirred in her lap as he looked up at her. "Kate,"

Kate quickly wiped at the tears on her cheek and then leaned forward to kiss Jack on the forehead. She was okay, she was fine, everything was going to be alright. Kate looked around for the gun which she had placed nearby, once she found it she focused back on Jack, and then tenderly ran her hands through his short brown hair. "You're safe," The need to protect him was stronger than ever. Because Kate knew that if she focused all of her attention on Jack, then she could forget about this nightmare.

"Did he hurt you?" Jack asked nervously. His eyes were wide and filled with worry as if he already knew Kate's answer. "Kate, what did he do. Please tell me that he didn't…"

As Jack spoke Kate saw herself as a child. She saw herself running to Tom after Wayne would come home from work angry, and waiting to take his frustrations out on her or her sister. Tom had kept her safe until he left and then she was on her own. Kate's bottom lip started to quiver as she remembered how hard it had been after he left. She thought that she could never be happy again, and deep down she always felt as if she didn't deserve to be.

Jack laced his hands in between Kate's trembling hands and then brought them to his lips comfortingly.

Kate shivered at the touch of his lips against her clammy hands. "He didn't touch me!" Kate yelled shocking Jack.

His head jerked towards her in surprise and then he loosened his grip on her hands. Jack's face was now clouded with uneasiness and concern. Just as he was about to open his mouth to speak to Kate a sharp pain surged through out his upper chest. Jack winced and gritted his teeth together.

Kate allowed herself to snap out of it for a second, and protectively brought Jack closer to her. "Try to stay still,"

"I'm fine, I just need to walk around a little bit and gather my strength" Jack placed his hand on the floor and then tried to push himself upwards.

"Jack, stop!" Kate whispered harshly in his ear.

"He's going to come back Kate, we can't just sit here and wait for him."

"Yes, we can," Kate said in a shaky voice. She wiped at her tears and then reached outwards for the gun. Her hands traced along the cold forbidden metal as the thoughts raced through her head. She had killed before so she could do it again. As her stomach started to heave with every sob that escaped her throat Kate bowed her head down in sadness.

"_I love you Katie," She heard Tom say._

Kate placed her hands over her ears and tried to shake Tom's innocent and caring voice. How could she go through with this and kill someone that looked just like Tom. Someone that collected toy airplanes and looked just like her childhood love, but yet wanted to inflict harm on her and the ones she loved.

Jack reached for the gun in Kate's hand as he tried to sit up. Something was definitely wrong with her, and he needed to know what it was. "Kate let me…" Jack eyed the gun carefully as he tried to take it.

"Stop Jack, please." Kate murmured.

"Kate," Jack pleaded softly.

Kate attempted to tug the gun away from his hands, but surprisingly Jack was able to hold on. She tried cried out in defeat as he continued to try and take the gun. "I'm the murderer not you…just let me hold it. Just in case he tries to hurt you again." Kate paused to take a shameful look away from Jack. She hated when he looked at her like this. Because she knew during times like these he could truly see the person she was.

"You're not a murderer." Jack stated point blank.

Kate declined to respond to his latest comment. She just looked away, watching as the airplanes gently swayed from side to side, and listened as the wind blew from outside. Kate was haunted by her past, and no matter how hard she tried to pull herself together, she couldn't. She just found out her mom died, and that didn't make this situation any easier. Kate bit her lip as her thoughts suddenly began to be too much again. No one stayed in her life. Everyone died. And as she looked back at Jack through red puffy eyes, she feared that eventually he would die too. And then Sawyer would die, and then she would be all alone again.

Jack closed his eyes in pain as he brought himself upwards. He then proceeded to place his hand on Kate's face, wiping away every tear he could catch. "I'm okay, I just needed some rest but I'm good. What's wrong sweetheart?" Jack asked affectionately.

Kate shook her head, "Don't call me sweetheart, because I'm anything but sweet."

Jack looked down in surprise but still kept his hand on Kate's soft cheek. He swallowed nervously and then looked around the basement in awe and then turned back at Kate. "How does this guy know you?"

Kate reached for Jack's hand on her face and placed it down on her leg. If she tried to answer his question then she knew nothing she said would make any sense. Kate placed her hand to her mouth, as she tried to snap out of the bewildered state that had suddenly overcome her.

Jack reached out for the staircase rail in attempts to hoist himself upwards. His arm shook and trembled as he brought himself to stand up. Jack looked down at Kate who still sat on the floor indian style, with her face buried in her hands. He was worried about her, because he had no idea what she was thinking. "We have to get back to the house because Taylor are alone."

"Where is Sawyer?" Kate asked standing up as well. Sadness and loss was still painted across her features. Her usually lively jade eyes, were now dull and devoid of happiness.

Jack wanted to talk to her so badly. Beg for her to tell him what it was that troubled her so he could get rid of it or at least try too. He looked down at the gun in her hand. Jack didn't want to kill anyone, but if Kate's life was put in danger again, then he would have to protect her at all costs.

Kate gripped Jack's shoulders with tears brimming in her eyes. "Where is he Jack? Why isn't he with them!"

"Because he went looking you," Jack replied looking down at the floor. He took a step forward and then grabbed onto Kate's shoulder as his legs nearly gave way underneath him. Kate wrapped her arms around his waist and steadied him.

The floorboards gave way upstairs and the sound of approaching footsteps sent Kate into alert mode. She released her grip from around Jack's waist and then forced him behind her as she then pointed the gun towards the door. Her hands shook violently, and the air was so thick in the basement that it suddenly became hard to breathe.

"Katie," She heard Tom say in the back of her head. Her thoughts flashed back to the night they had buried the box of childhood memories. She saw the tape, Tom's favorite baseball hat, and his airplane.

Kate shook her head in desperation.

"Katie," But this time the voice belonged to Jack. She saw his reassuring smile, and then him bend down to propose to her. Kate squeezed her eyes shut trying to chase away the images so she could concentrate on the door.

_I'm not good at expressing myself when it comes to how much I care about her_

Jack's proposal continued to play over in her head as she tried to concentrate. The gun was shaking in her hands violently, and she couldn't hold the damn thing still.

_Words can't express the range of emotions that she makes me feel. She's beautiful inside and out, and there's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for her_

Kate could hear Jack behind her talking, but she couldn't make out his words. Tears streamed down her cheek at the thought of something horrible happening tonight. She had this feeling that she couldn't get rid of.

_There isn't a thing I would change about her, because I love Kate for Kate. She thinks she makes too many mistakes, but in my eyes that's what makes her beautiful._

Tears started to stream down her cheeks once again. The creaking from upstairs stopped, but her mind was still very much alive alternating her thoughts between Tom, Jack and Timmy.

"Kate," Jack said placing his hand on her arm and running his hands against downwards until he could reach for the gun.

"I thought I heard something," She said frantically pulling the gun away from Jack again. Paranoia was starting to eat away at her subconscious. Something was going to happen tonight, she just knew that someone was going to get hurt with Timmy on the loose. Kate just wished that he would go away.

"I'll lead the way," Jack offered as he slowly made his way in front of Kate. Although his body was still soar and bruised he soldiered on, because he knew that he had to for Kate. Jack planted both of his hands on the staircase for support and started to take careful footsteps upwards. He soon noticed that Kate wasn't following after him, Jack turned around to rest his eyes on her. He clenched his jaw as he realized that she was looking up at the airplanes hanging from the ceiling. "Kate, what's wrong."

Kate wrapped her arms around her body and looked back at Jack in sorrow, "I'm being punished."

"What?" Jack replied in surprise. He stopped moving and then turned his body back towards Kate. "Why would you say that?" Jack stepped down one step and then cautiously down another. Soon he was back on the ground with Kate. Jack placed his arms on her shaking arms and tried to make sense of the situation. He knew that Kate had just went through a great deal of trauma, but for some reason she seemed to be blaming all of this on herself. "We'll talk about this after we get you out of here okay,"

"He looks just like him, and he collects planes." Kate whispered softly as she pulled herself away from Jack. "I killed Tom, and I'm not supposed to get away from that, or forget."

Jack's eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes, "Kate, this has nothing to do with you or Tom. It's just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time." As he watched her struggle with this the realization that something deeper was going on inside her came to him. The strength that he had been lacking before was suddenly starting to return to him. Jack stumbled over to her, and then placed his hands on her trembling shoulders. He hated seeing Kate like this, and it was even worse for him because he didn't know how to help her.

"I deserve this." Kate cried.

"How do you deserve this? Kate, please just let me get you out of here."

"I killed him Jack, and then I tried to move on. I was so happy with you and..."

Jack squeezed onto her shoulders tighter, trying to wake her from the trance she was lost in. "What do you mean you _were_ happy with me? I'm not going anywhere I'm still here. And I'm not leaving your side." Jack brought his face against Kate's and tried to get her to look into his eyes. But she was looking everywhere else but at him. "Kate," He pleaded.

"How does something like this happen? Jack, he looks just like him!" Kate cried.

Jack then understood why she was so shaken. So Tom did have something to do with this. He didn't know what to say. Jack looked around at the airplanes suspended from the ceiling and then clenched his jaw. Kate was right, how does something like this happen? But he didn't want to worry her any further so he simply held her in his arms.

"I shouldn't be falling apart right now, he's out there somewhere and he's going to be back soon." Kate sobbed burying her face deep into Jack's torn shirt, and muffling her words. "He'll be back, we shouldn't stay here,"

"We're leaving, but I need you to give me the gun Kate. You're not going to shoot him." Jack replied placing his hands on Kate's cheeks and giving her an honest look of care. "You're in no condition,"

"And neither are you," Kate spat back.

Jack slowly reached for the gun.

Kate closed her eyes as she felt him close his hands over her shaking hands and then reach down for the gun. Thoughts of Tom raced through her mind again. She saw him the night they had buried the "box of memories", and then the time she had kissed him earlier this year before she killed him. The thoughts flashed through her mind again and again daring her to forget.

Kate cringed as Jack started to ease the gun out of her hands.

Tom's face flashed into her subconscious. She saw him laying in the car, blood running down his face, and his eyes closed. He was so still and motionless. Tom was dead. And then she saw Jack lying in Tom's place like she had in that dream.

Kate screamed throwing her head back. She couldn't control her emotions anymore, because the post traumatic stress from watching Jack get severely beaten, to seeing Timmy's face, and then flashing back to Tom's death was too much. God, it was just too much.

Jack grabbed Kate as she fell forwards onto him. She was fighting with him, screaming at the top of her lungs, trying to shake the nightmares that had taken over her soul. He was frightened because her outburst was so sudden and unexpected. His hands gripped onto her shirt desperately trying to calm her, but she wiggled out of his grasp. Jack reached out for her wrists bounding them to his chest as she continued to fight. He was starting to see a glimpse of everything that Kate held inside of her. Jack nearly fell to the ground as Kate tried to escape his arms. He felt her pull at his shirt, and struggle violently but he refused to let her go. "Kate, what is it! What is it!"

Kate collapsed against him in tears. She was still distraught, and in a frenzied state as she grabbed onto his shirt, holding onto it tightly as if the second she let go he would disappear.

Jack kissed the top of her head, trying to calm Kate anyway he could. He wasn't going to ask her to explain her breakdown to him, because obviously the situation went deeper than he could've ever imagined. Something had struck a chord within her, and Jack wasn't going to question it any further. "It's okay," He whispered in her ear.

"I deserve this, after everything I did, everyone I hurt." Kate sniffled as she tried to pull herself together. "I was never meant to be happy, and I don't deserve to be either,"

Jack pulled the gun out of Kate's reluctant hand. "You do deserve to be happy you hear me." Jack cupped her chin in his hand and sighed in relief when Kate looked back at him. I'm not going to let him get anywhere near you. He's not going to hurt you." Jack felt the aching and the pain start to pass. He needed to protect Kate, and get her through this. So he didn't have time to worry about himself. Jack glanced towards the basement door and then circled his hand around Kate's thin wrist. "I'm going to get you out of here okay,"

Kate nodded, "I don't want to see his face again…he reminds me too much of Tom." Kate covered her eyes with her hand, and then let it slide down to her mouth. "He's not Tom, Jack I'm sorry for losing it."

"He's not," Jack assured with a shake of his head. He gave Kate's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You don't have to apologize to me."

"I hate being so weak," Kate cried helplessly.

Jack gathered her in his arms, "Just lean on me okay,"

Kate looked up at Jack through blurry eyes. It was amazing how together he seemed to be now after coming to her in such bad shape. As Kate looked into his calm eyes and relaxed her body against his she tried to settle down. Maybe the main reason for her panic attack was her fear that something would happen to him. Kate shook the negative thoughts away, even though a part of her believed that she was cursed, and this fairytale that they had would end soon. "I'm fine," Kate lied.

"No you're not," Jack ran his hands through Kate's tangled locks. "You don't have to lie to me, I know you well enough by now."

Kate looked down, "I'm scared,"

Someone stepped through the basement door. Both Jack and Kate jumped. Instinctively Jack released Kate and then pointed the gun towards the tall figure in front of him. He lowered the gun seconds later when he realized that non other than Sawyer was staring back at him in alarm.

"Hold that trigger cowboy, I ain't the boogeyman." Sawyer said signaling for Jack to drop the weapon with both hands. He glanced behind Jack, and his eyes softened when he realized that Kate was standing behind him. "I was worried about you Freckles." Sawyer looked down uneasily and then focused his eyes back on Jack. "Did that bastard hurt her?" He asked as he balled his fists.

"I don't know," Jack said worried as he looked behind him at Kate to try and read her blank expression.

"Where is he?" Sawyer growled enraged. "I'll show him who he's messin' with. Make him wish that he never stepped foot near her. Where the hell is he?" Sawyer was yelling now. His face was red with rage and his nostrils were flared. "Jack, did you see him, and if you did which direction did he go off to." Sawyer looked down at the gun in Jack's hand. "Gimme that, I'll find him myself."

Jack made no attempts to hand the gun to Sawyer. "It was just one guy, and I don't know where he is."

Sawyer looked around the house wearily. "He just left Kate here like this?"

Jack nodded, "Yeah, and I don't know why."

Kate moved from behind Jack, and then looked back at Sawyer. "Go back to Taylor and Chloe, make sure they're okay. We're fine."

Sawyer didn't think Kate looked fine, but she was with Jack so he would look out for her. "Taylor and Chloe are alone, Sassafrass is right I gotta get back to them." As he made his way back up the stairs he tried to hide his fear. If something happened to either one of them he would never be able to forgive himself. "Watch her Doc, and if you see that bastard kill em'."

Those were Sawyer's last words before he disappeared through the door.

Kate tugged on Jack's sleeve, "You should have given him the gun. What if he comes after him? How can Sawyer protect himself?"

"We'll go after Sawyer, after I make sure that you're okay…are you really ready to go back out there?"  
Kate nodded. "I'm fine,"

Jack circled his arm around her waist and then led her up the stairs slowly.

* * *

Timmy aimed the gun at Taylor daring her to move as a sinister smile crept across his face. "Come here,"

"What?" She said with wide eyes.

"I said get over here, what's so difficult about that." Timmy narrowed his eyes back at her in anger when she didn't follow his orders right away. He lowered the gun down by his side and then stalked over to her. He was sadistic, he had always been, and the look of fear stretched across the pretty blonde's face made him want to hurt her more.

Timmy grabbed her roughly by her arm and smiled to himself as the child fell onto the floor.

"Mommy!" Chloe screamed in tears.

Timmy cringed at the sound of Chloe's shrieks and then he pointed the gun at her. "Shut up."

"Please, just let her go!" Taylor begged trying to reach out for the gun.

Chloe closed her mouth and then placed her small hands over her mouth.

Timmy took the gun off of Chloe, and then trailed it through Taylor's hair. "There is such a thing in this world as being too trusting."

Taylor looked down at Chloe hopefully, trying to make her believe that it was going to be okay. Although she was scared Taylor had faith in Sawyer, and she believed that he would come back. "What do you want?"

Timmy chuckled evilly. "What do I want, well it's quite simple actually "

Taylor bit the inside of her cheek as Timmy jerked her in front of him and then pulled her back roughly.

"I never expected to meet her. She's a fugitive you know, Kate Austen is wanted for the murder." Timmy paused to look over Taylor's shocked face. "She could fool anyone with that innocent smile of hers. She's fooled all of you I can see."

Taylor watched as Chloe balled her legs up to her chest and then wrapped her arms around them. She wanted to go over to Chloe and protect her, but the hardest thing was to watch her daughter suffer without being able to do a thing about it. All she could do for now was to follow his orders and hope that Sawyer would be back soon.

"Have you ever shot a gun before?" Timmy snarled.

"No," Taylor said leaning away from him fearfully as he brought his face closer. "He's going to come through the door any second now."

Taylor's eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes as she watched the door in trepidation. She sensed that he was talking about Sawyer. Taylor watched nervously as he aimed the gun towards the door. If only she was strong enough to take him.

"Turn off the lights," Timmy said to Chloe. He pointed the gun at her and then motioned it towards the lamp.

"I'll do it." Taylor offered. She shook her head signaling for Chloe not to move, and then tried to get towards the light, but Timmy grabbed her by her arm and then pulled her back towards him. "Look precious, I told the girl to do it, you keep on disobeying me, and you'll see what happens."

Taylor swallowed nervously as she watched Chloe get up and walk towards the light bravely. "Who's coming?" She asked in a whisper without taking her eyes off of Chloe.

"Golden boy," Timmy replied. "I believe you call him Sawyer,"

Chloe hesitated as she turned off the light, but Timmy pointed the gun at her once again, and then darkness clouded the room.

Taylor shivered in fear as Timmy pulled her back towards him. "Why are you doing this?"

Timmy ignored her plea and placed the gun he held in her hands. "Have you ever fired a gun before?"

She didn't respond. Taylor tried to drop the gun, but Timmy squeezed her hand over the cold metal. She winced in pain as he forced her to place her fingers on the trigger. "Stop, please…"

"When he comes back…shoot him,"

"No!" Taylor exclaimed in horror. She looked back at Timmy in fear who stared back at her with a delusional expression on his face. His greenish-blue eyes glinted with an unbridled madness, and a sick smirk still accompanied his features.

Timmy stared back at her for a while longer. He didn't say anything he just stared. "Shoot him when he comes through the door,"

"I will not, No, I'm not I…"

"Do it!" Timmy yelled back at her. He released his grip from around the gun in her hand and then pulled another gun from out of his holster.

She cried in fear as he pressed the edge of the gun against her head. "Please, just take whatever you want, or let my daughter go!" Taylor screamed with tears coursing down her face, and her body shaking violently.

"What about you?" He asked moving the edge of the gun through her straight honey locks. "You would rather die for him?"

Taylor looked down at the gun with anxiety. She had never held a gun in her life, and there was no way she was going to fire it. Taylor didn't have it in her to kill anyone. Especially not Sawyer who she cared about so much about. She couldn't do it and she wouldn't. Timmy moved his gun down towards her back with one hand and then used his other hand to raise her arm as the door slowly opened.

All eyes shifted towards the door. The wind spilled in from outside causing the fire in the hearth to blow out. And then a hand appeared on the door as they pushed it open.

"Taylor?" Sawyer said stepping inside unaware of the setup. He looked around the dark house first, and then his eyes rested on Taylor. "What the…" All he saw was the gun in her hand pointed at him. Sawyer's breathing grew labored as he tried to make sense of the situation. "Taylor?"

"Don't move!" Timmy yelled stepping from behind her.

Sawyer's mouth dropped open in disbelief. He clenched his jaw as he looked back at Taylor. He could see that she was scared. God he had to do something. Sawyer considered his options as quickly as possible, what could he do with two guns pointed at him. He knew that Taylor wouldn't shoot him, but from what he could tell that man had a gun behind her back as well. He swallowed nervously as his eyes then shifted to Chloe who watched him from the corner with panic in her eyes. Sawyer felt his heart rate start to increase as he looked back at her. That look that Chloe had on her face terrified him, because he knew it all to well.

"Shoot him!" Timmy yelled.

Sawyer watched as Timmy forced Taylor to aim the gun at him, because she kept on disobeying him. Suddenly a feeling as if he was already dead started to wash over him. Sawyer tried to shake it, but as he watched the gun lower and rise in front of him, his life started to flash in front of his eyes. He saw himself hiding under the bed the night his parents died. Sawyer slowly looked towards Chloe once again in a daze.

Her eyes reminded him so much of his. He could sense her fear, and the need to protect both Taylor and Chloe became stronger than ever. "What is it that you want Chester? You want me, take me, but leave them out of this." Sawyer said through gritted teeth.

"Karma is a bitch isn't it?" Timmy asked with a wicked grin. He then looked down at Taylor, who Sawyer was watching in pain. "Is it possible that you got some feelings for her?"

When Sawyer didn't answer Timmy, he grabbed Taylor by her shoulders and then shook her violently. She screamed and Sawyer started to run over to them, but Timmy stopped shaking her and then trained his gun on Sawyer. "Make another move and I'll shoot you where you stand asshole."

Sawyer tried to catch his breath as he tried to formulate another plan. The sight of Taylor with her hair disheveled and covering her face as tears fell down her cheek tore a hole into Sawyer's soul. "Let her go." He growled.

Timmy released his grip around Taylor slightly.

Sawyer slowly inched towards Chloe. He tried to get her to look back at him. Relief washed over his face as she finally placed her eyes on his. He could see that she was scared but yet there was bravery behind her look which Sawyer admired. Sawyer gave her a small nod to signal that he wasn't going to let anything happen to her.

Timmy fired a shot.

Sawyer dived to the ground as the bullet ricocheted through the silent night air. He hit the ground with a hard thud as the window behind him shattered. Glass exploded down onto him like drops of rain.

Taylor and Chloe screamed.

Before Sawyer had a chance to recover Timmy ran over to Chloe and picked her up in his arms. The sounds of her screams caused Sawyer to propel himself upwards in record time. He wasn't going to let this man hurt them. Sawyer watched angrily as Timmy trained the gun on both him and Taylor simultaneously.

"Please, don't her!" Taylor cried holding her hand to her mouth.

Sawyer walked towards Timmy. He didn't care if he got shot anymore, but he couldn't just stand there and watch as this man threatened Chloe's life, and he wasn't going to just stand around either. "Get your damn hands off her!" Sawyer growled.

Timmy pulled the gun on Chloe. "Stop right there, or I blow her head off."

"Sawyer, stop!" Taylor screamed.

Sawyer stopped where he stood as he watched Timmy pull Chloe further away from both him and Taylor. He closed his eyes as a feeling of anger washed over him. He refused to give up. "Just let the kid go. You want me…take your shot, I won't fight ya…just…" Sawyer clenched his jaw and looked down with a shake of his head. He was no do-gooder, far from it, but he cared about them too much to let them die over him. "You wanna clear shot, take it." Sawyer said holding his hands in the air. "I'm the bad guy here not them."

Timmy loosed his grip from around Chloe's arms, but still held the gun to her head. "And to think you almost got away with murder."

Sawyer looked down in shame as Taylor cast her frightened eyes on him. He clenched his jaw trying to forget that Darren the cop he had run over was a friend of Taylor's. Sawyer swallowed hard as he looked back at Taylor, who stared back at him with her mouth agape.

"Tell her what you did," Timmy responded obviously getting a kick out of this.

Sawyer narrowed his eyes back at him, but kept his mouth shut.

"Or do you want me to tell her about the man you hit with her car, and then sent down the river to be fish bait? What's better for you?"

Sawyer couldn't find the right words to say, he watched nervously as Timmy brought the gun to Chloe's cheek. God, he hated himself for not being able to do shit right now. Sawyer clenched his fists as he looked at Chloe. He didn't want her to know that he had anything to do with Darren's disappearance because for some reason he cared what she thought of him. Sawyer looked down and a strand of his dirty blonde hair fell into his eyes as he tried to stall his confession.

"Tell them, you were riding in the truck with Kate, not paying attention and then he stepped out onto the road and then…slam, crash, you hit the poor guy." Timmy smiled. "Kate tried to save him, and the girl had a breakdown in the process, but you…you selfish, heartless bastard, you just watched…"

"Shut the fck up!" Sawyer yelled angrily.

Chloe jumped at his outburst.

Sawyer winced forgetting temporarily that she was listening to every word he said. He then looked at Taylor in shame, and then scowled when he realized that she wasn't even looking back at him. But what did he expect. Sawyer had kept the truth from her even when Cecile, Darren's own mother was with them on Thanksgiving. Maybe he did deserve to die, Now that the lie was officially over, and Taylor saw him for the person he really was and had always been.

"What do you think of him now?" Timmy challenged.

Taylor gave no response.

"Now it should be easier for you to kill him. Pick up your gun, point it at him, and shoot him." Timmy directed.

"No," Taylor said. She shifted her eyes which were puffy and red from crying to Timmy and then she shook her head defiantly. "No,"

"Then I'll count. By the time I reach zero if you haven't shot him yet. Then I'll shoot him myself, and then I'll shoot your daughter and then you dear…and after I'm finished here then I'll find the doctor break his neck…and then take Kate with me,"

"You're sick," Taylor said through chattering teeth. The temperature was dropping inside the house from the front door still being open, and the loss of heat from the fire.

"Ten, nine…"

Taylor cast her eyes at Sawyer in fear.

"Eight,"

Sawyer stepped forward and then Timmy started to count faster.

"Seven, Six, shoot him…NOW!"

Taylor screamed as Timmy fired a bullet right past her head. A vase shattered on the mantle.

Sawyer took action and ran full force towards Timmy, the seconds seemed to pass slowly as his feet pounded on the floor. He had no time to think about what he was doing, he just had to do it. He thought about bringing Chloe into his arms and protecting her as he watched Timmy aim the gun at him. The door widened behind him and he heard the sound of footsteps entering the house. Jack and Kate had just stepped in.

Timmy fired a shot.

Time passed even slower.

Chloe gasped and shielded her eyes with her hands.

Jack wrapped his hands around Kate's waist and pulled her to the floor as she screamed for Sawyer to get down. They collapsed onto the floor, Jack fell on top of Kate pinning her down to the ground in protection. The sound of the bullet rang through their ears like the sound of a war gong.

Taylor heard the gun go off. Her head slowly turned to the right and she watched as Sawyer approached Timmy with his hands stretched outwards ready to fight. She raised the gun and pulled the trigger once she realized that Timmy had dropped Chloe.

The bullets pierced through their flesh. Both guns dropped.

Timmy fell against the wall clutching his chest, while Sawyer was knocked off his feet by the impact of the bullet that had pierced through his chest. He hit the floor hard and the wind was knocked out of him.

Chloe ran over to Taylor in hysterics as Timmy stumbled around with his hand clutching his chest. Taylor watched him with tears in her eyes as he continued to aimlessly stumble around. Through her tears she searched for Sawyer. "Saw…" His name wouldn't come out of her lips because they were shaking so much.

Sawyer struggled on the floor in a great deal of pain. He closed his eyes as the bullet started to settle deeper into his chest. A yell escaped his throat as he grabbed onto his chest with shaking hands. He pried at his shirt trying to see how deep the bullet was. Needing to get the lead out of him which was causing him so much pain. Timmy fell next to him, dead on the spot.

A shiver crept up Sawyer's spine as his vision started to grow blurry. He started to thrash about on the floor, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe! Sawyer groaned as he opened his mouth widely trying to fill his lungs with air. He started to choke and gag. Sawyer squeezed his eyes shut weakly. Kate was screaming in the background, and Jack was trying to comfort her. His eyelids closed. He was so thirsty now, and so weak. So weak.

Jack ran over to Sawyer's side. He pulled off Sawyer's shirt to see where he had gotten shot. Jack clenched his jaw when he noticed that the wound in Sawyer's chest was bleeding profusely at the moment. "Help me sit him up, I need a gauze pad and an elastic bandage, we have to get him to the hospital there is no time to waste." Jack paused as he watched Chloe run into the other room to try and find what Jack asked for. "We can't remove a bullet that deep." Jack leaned forward to look at Sawyer, "Hold on."

Sawyer's skin started to grow pale. "Don't mo…" He coughed and then he started to shake his head feverishly. "Don't move me." He opened his eyes and then closed them. They were all dizzy. Jack's face was blurring together in front of his eyes. Someone reached out for his hand, Sawyer thought it was Taylor but he couldn't be to sure.

Chloe returned with half of the supplies from the bathroom in her hands and then placed them down by Jack.

"Thank you," Jack directed to Chloe quickly working on cleaning the blood around the wound on Sawyer's chest, so he could apply the gauze pad and then the bandage.

Sawyer started to shiver. His teeth chattered, and then his eyes started to roll back in his head.

"What's going on Jack?" Taylor asked with tears.

"He's going into shock, we have to get him to the hospital," Jack said.

Sawyer started to shake more violently. Jack pinned him down to the ground and then signaled for Taylor to call 911. Jack knew that Kate couldn't be on the scene when they arrived, he turned to her to tell her to go, but Sawyer started to go into a series of convulsions.

"Sawyer!" Jack yelled to him.

Sawyer shook his head. Hearing him but not having the energy to respond back.

Jack motioned for Kate to leave. "You have to go before they come…"

"Let…me….die…." He mumbled but Jack wasn't listening to him. Jack and Kate were talking. He was so cold. His temperature was dropping, and he knew that it was almost over. His sad pathetic excuse for a life of conning, self-hatred, and revenge was almost over.

"Help me hold him down Kate!" Jack begged as Sawyer lashed out in agony screaming at the top of his lungs as the pain started to intensify.

Kate ran over to Jack and Sawyer. She dropped down onto her knees and then placed her hands on Sawyer's shoulders. Tears welled in her eyes as she watched and listened to Sawyer suffer. He was in bad shape, and she was scared he would die. Kate squeezed her eyes shut as Sawyer started to mumble something about wanting to die.

Jack looked down, "His heart rate is increasing, and he's suffering from shortness of breath."

Kate looked back at Jack with tears in her eyes, "What does that mean?"

"He's bleeding internally."

Sawyer stopped moving and his head turned limply to the side. The last thing he saw before he slipped into the black hole of nothingness was Taylor standing behind Kate. He tried to fight the sluggish feeling that was leading him towards death so he could tell her sorry. Apologize to her for leaving her alone those years back, and even worse for lying to her about her friend that he had killed. But he didn't have the energy to tell her any of this. His breathing rate started to slow as the earth started to slip away from underneath him. This was how he knew it would be…he always knew that he would die alone. Leave this world a hated man that everyone would be glad to see gone. People like him didn't get second chances, and he knew that it would be better off this way. No one would miss him, and he didn't want anyone to for that matter. Sawyer just wanted to die so all the pain he had endured throughout his life could finally be over.

(Thank you everyone for reviewing last chapter! I want to say thank you individually so badly, but I can't because of FanFic's new rules so I'm probably going to send out some "thank you" replies if you guys don't mind, because I do appreciate all of your kind reviews. This week and next week is midterms, so it may be two weeks until the next update, but we'll see. Take care :)


	15. Prelude to a Kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own "Lost" or "Spiderman" and "The O.C." which inspired an idea for this chapter.

Chapter 15- Prelude to a Kiss

Sawyer shifted uncomfortably in the seat that he sat in.Four days had passed since he had been shot and he was lucky to have walked away with only minor injuries. Sawyer looked down at his shirt, and then ran his hand over the hidden scar that remained from surgery. He scowled at the thought of Taylor having to pay his hospital bill. She had done enough, and he didn't want her to have to do anything else for him. Sawyer clenched his jaw as he looked outside. Specks of white powder now drifted down from the skies blanketing the cars below. If he was in a good mood then maybe he could admire the scenery, but not now. Sawyer slouched down in the chair and crossed his arms as he debated whether he should leave or not before Taylor came to pick him up. His thoughts were interrupted as he focused his aqua gaze on a nurse who came in to bother him every couple of seconds. Sawyer groaned loudly hoping that she would take the hint and stop trying to put him in the Christmas spirit.

"How you feeling sugar?" She asked kindly.

Sawyer scowled. He didn't like being called sugar, like he was some kid. "I'm fine,"

"You don't sound it."

"I'm in a hospital surrounded by sick people, what do you expect me to be singin' Christmas carols, and dancing around on rooftops like a jackass because it's gonna be a white Christmas?"

The nurse paused for a second and then glanced outside the window, "Well lookey there it is snowing. My kids are going to have a field day tomorrow."

Sawyer watched as she started to make the bed. He felt guilty for a second and then allowed the brief feeling to pass. Sawyer looked away from the nurse and then shifted his eyes towards a clock above the television. He scowled when he realized that _Miracle on 35th street_ was playing on mute.

"So do you have any plans for Christmas? I'm sure a handsome fella like you has a beautiful woman waiting at home."

Why wouldn't this lady just stop talking to him? Sawyer shifted in his seat once again. "Christmas is just like any other day, there ain't nothing special to it."

"I'm sure she has something planned then." The nurse replied as she fluffed the pillow and then gave Sawyer a smile. "Would you like me to turn up the volume? _Miracle on 35th street is on_, and that movie is a classic."

"I hate it," Sawyer growled.

"Oh, okay,"

"And before you go Betty, what do you mean by _she_ probably has something planned?"

"Oh I'm sorry. I assumed that the woman that came here everyday was your girlfriend, and that she was picking you up."

"She isn't my girlfriend," Sawyer mumbled as he watched the fog accumulate on the glass windows. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire" was playing in the background and every now and then the sound of joyous laughs would tune out the music. All this happiness was making him sick. Sawyer hated Christmas.

"Excuse me,"

Sawyer shifted his eyes towards the door as a figure stepped in behind the nurse. Well shit, it looked like his Christmas had officially gotten worse. Sawyer clenched his fists as he stared back at the man who he only needed to run into once to remember his face forever. He was still wearing the same sneaky smirk that Sawyer had remembered first time he met him.

"I believe we have met before Mr. Ford,"

Sawyer rolled his eyes, "I don't think we have boss, can ya give me a formal invitation, 'cause I don't think I know you."

The man turned around to face the nurse, who seemed ready to throw him out if Sawyer asked. "We're fine," He glanced down at her name tag, "Carol, we're fine." He repeated in a sterner tone.

Carol glanced at Sawyer, "If you need anything honey just let me know."

Sawyer smiled briefly at Carol for the first time that night. He had been rude to her all night but yet she still insisted on calling him sugar and honey. Maybe it was because she was in the Christmas spirit which he was obviously lacking. Sawyer glanced back at his guest, "Is there somethin' I can help you with?" He asked even though he had no intentions of confessing a damn thing.

"So I see you got a little booboo,"

Sawyer snarled in the man's direction and then he remembered that he had to play it cool. "Yeah, I got shot. But I'm doin' just fine."

"I see that you are, good thing it was nothing to serious." The man looked around for a chair, and once he found one he pulled it up towards Sawyer. "Do you mind if I…"

Sawyer opened his mouth to protest, but the man had already sat down. "Make yourself at home,"

"You're a hard one to track down,"

"I come and go as I please." Sawyer remarked placing his hand to his stomach. "Why you been followin' me anyways?"

Edward smirked, "Don't play games with me. You know why I've been following you."

Sawyer shrugged, "Actually I don't."

"Where is she?" Edward asked in a low voice as he narrowed his eyes back at Sawyer.

"Mrs. Claus? I heard she and Santa wanted to get in on real quick before he pulled the all-night shift. So why dontcha ask him."

Edward chuckled and then his face grew drastically serious. "I'm not in the mood for jokes so why don't you level with me. I've been looking for her since May, and who knew that I would get a break under these circumstances. She is so close that I can practically smell her. Where is she? Where is Kate Austen?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do." Edward challenged.

"What makes you so confident that I know something? I was with her for a short amount of time. The girl likes to run so she could be anywhere. I have no clue where she is."

Edward looked away.

"She could be dead for all I know." Sawyer added.

"You're a liar,"

"Last time I checked there was money involved. Do ya really think I would keep her safe when I got the chance to better myself? 23,000 is a lot of money, and she sure ain't worth that much."

Edward looked back at Sawyer, "She isn't worth that much, because you better believe if there was an award out for your arrest…she would turn you in faster that a person with a winning lottery ticket."

Sawyer didn't believe that. But he had to play along with Marshal. "She probably would. But I don't know where she is, and you know what I don't even care."

"Do you know if she is still with him?"

"Still with who?" Sawyer asked.

"Jack Shepard." Edward filled in somewhat irritated.

Sawyer focused on the door, "I don't know," He repeated.

Edward leaned forward placing his hands on his knees, "I'm sure Jack would like to know how his girlfriend is doing. Maybe if he knew everything that she's been through then he would turn in Kate and go back to Sarah don't you think?"

Sawyer remained silent because he knew the Marshall was like a shark after blood, so he had to keep his cool. "How about when you find him, tell him I said Hi,"

"So you really have no idea where they're at."

Sawyer nodded, "What did I just say for the last five minutes…no, I dunno."

"I'm sure Jack would like to know about the baby." Edward whispered in an eerie voice.

Sawyer looked away. Jack never said anything about a baby so the Marshal was just screwing with him.

Edward stood up and then reached for his coat, "Well if you do see Jack then why don't you fill him on the news I just told you. I think he deserves to know about his child because surely his own flesh and blood is more important to him than a fugitive."

"Just bein' nosy here, but what happened to this kid of his?"

Edward pulled on his jacket as he opened the door, "His girlfriend Sarah went into labor early and had a miscarriage. She lost their baby. So if you see him just let him know, so it can bring him back to his senses."

Sawyer stared back at the Marshall almost at a loss for words.

"You have a Merry Christmas, and I look forward to seeing you around James,"

Before Sawyer could say anything else, Edward closed the door behind him.

"Shit." Sawyer muttered under his breath.

The door opened once again and Sawyer looked up angrily ready to attack. His face softened when he realized that Taylor was looking back at him.

"Hey," She said as she dusted some snow off of her jacket.

"Hey," Sawyer muttered. Not only did he just have a run in with the Marshal who wanted Kate dead or alive, but he was tired of dragging Taylor into their problems. "You didn't have to come here you know,"

"Then who would pick you up?" Taylor reasoned.

"I'd find a way…you've done enough already," Sawyer replied as he turned away from her. Every time he looked at Taylor now he saw the fear in her eyes from that night, and he hated seeing her so scared. Sawyer closed his eyes as he tried to shake the image. "You've done too many favors for me already."

"Are you ready to go?" Taylor asked ignoring his last comment.

"You don't have to pretend that it's all okay. I let you and Chloe down." He was so worked up now that he couldn't even force himself to look into her eyes. Sawyer tried to stop but he couldn't. He hated himself for dragging Taylor and Chloe into this, and he also hated the fact that the Marshall was so fucking close to Kate. "Just leave. You've done enough for me."

"Are you finished yet?" Taylor asked obviously struggling to remain her ground.

Sawyer clenched his jaw as he looked down in defeat. "I hate myself for not being able to do shit that night. And you should hate me too."

"I don't hate you." Taylor replied.

"You should, because everyone else does. Not that I'm complaining because it's better to be hated than liked." Sawyer realized that he was rambling now so he closed his mouth.

Taylor sighed and then reached for Sawyer's arm with shaking hands. "Things are starting to go back to normal now, Chloe and I moved back home from Cecile's house."

"What about Chloe, how is she doing?" Sawyer asked with difficulty.

Taylor glanced back at him in surprise, because of the blatant concern he was showing for Chloe. "She's okay,"

"I let her down,"

"Sawyer, this wasn't your fault." Taylor said as softly as she could muster. "You need to stop blaming yourself for everything."

Sawyer pulled his arm out of her grasp suddenly. "Just leave me here, I'll find a way out. Go Taylor."

"Where will you go?"

Sawyer shrugged, "I just want to be alone. I don't want to be involved anymore, I don't want to care. I just want you to turn around and never look back."

"Sawyer…"

"Listen to me," Sawyer's face was now a vibrant shade of red. "If I stay with you long enough, then I'm going to mess up your life, fuck it up like mine," He reached out for Taylor's arm and pulled her towards him, "Now you tell me, do you really want Chloe to be around me anymore now that you know everything I have done. Why don't you just make this easier and go."

"I'm not," Taylor said remaining her ground.

"You killed someone because of me right in front of your daughter."

"Sawyer please," Taylor warned.

"Because of me you're going to have to live with that for the rest of your life."

Taylor let go of his arm and then stepped back as she shook her head back at him. "I've been trying to forget about it Sawyer. Do you think it is easy to deal with that? I know I killed that man and I'm going to have to live with that for the rest of my life. But he threatened my daughter's life as well as yours' I didn't just do it for you."

"I wish he had killed me. One less bad guy for this world to deal with."

Taylor crossed her arms, "Are you seriously going to do this on Christmas Eve?"

"Pretend as if I don't hate myself…no, because I do. I don't even see why you waste your time on me…I'm not worth it, so just go."

"Some people actually do love you, you know that."

"Well those people are just wasting their time because I don't know what love is…never had, and don't plan on learnin'."

"I remember when you did." Taylor said as she sat down on the edge of the bed still deep in thoughts about Timmy.

Sawyer scoffed, "You going to bring that up, I hadn't seen you in so long and I thought…" His words froze on the tip of his tongue as he looked back at Taylor's solemn expression. Sawyer cleared his throat and tried to shift his thoughts back to the Marshal. He could deal with his guilt later, but now he had to figure out how he was going to tell Kate that she was close to being caught, and Jack that Sarah could've been pregnant.

"You meant it that night Sawyer," Taylor looked down at her clasped hands and then at her leg which was nervously shaking. "I shouldn't have brought that up. I'm sorry. Let's go."

"No,"

Taylor walked back over to Sawyer and then linked her arm in his. "You're not spending Christmas Eve here alone, I know you want me to hate you and turn my back on you, but I'm not. In all honesty we kind of need you back at the house because we're low on spirits despite my façade. Chloe and Kate really miss you…and I think even Jack misses someone to argue with."

Sawyer sighed as Taylor helped him up. "You'll regret bringing me back. I'll be like the grinch hovering over you when you're opening presents."

"A very handsome grinch," Taylor said in a small voice.

Sawyer couldn't read her thoughts even if he tried. He knew that Taylor was putting on an act for him because there was no way she could be doing so well after what happened that night. "You know everything about me now, so why do you still want to help me?"

Taylor decided to ignore his question as she focused on a tree in the corner. "That is a beautiful Christmas tree,"

"A U.S. Marshal is here looking for Kate, he tracked us down."

Taylor snapped out of it and turned to look at Sawyer with alarm in her eyes, "What?"

* * *

"What are you doing Jack?" Chloe asked as she came into the kitchen with him. 

Jack looked up from the mixing bowl filled with cake batter which he was stirring. "Hey Chloe,"

"Hey," She said walking over to him with a curious expression hidden behind her sad eyes.

"I'm trying to make a cake for Kate, because tomorrow is her birthday."

"Really," Chloe asked as she gave Jack a small smile. "Can I help?"

"Sure," Jack placed down the bowl and then looked around for a pan. "Do you know where Taylor keeps the cake pans? And how are you doing by the way?"

"I'm doing okay, I guess. Mommy says that Sawyer might come back today. I'll be happy when he's back because I missed him so much."

Jack bent down on one knee to place his hands on Chloe's shoulders. "You've been incredibly brave through all this, and I just want you to know that if you need anyone to talk too…I'll always be here for you."

"Thank you Jack, I appreciate it." Chloe said wrapping her arms around him, and then resting her head on Jack's shoulder.

Jack smiled to himself as he returned Chloe's hug . He had always wanted kids of his own, and it meant a lot to him that he could be there for Chloe anyway possible.Chloe patted Jack's back, "We have to hurry up, because Kate might wake up any second." She moved away from Jack and then walked over to the bottom cabinet. "Cake pans are right here and…" Chloe then pointed towards the top cabinets. "And the non-sticking spray stuff is up there…oh and we have frosting in their too."

"Thank you," Jack said reaching in the top cabinet for the non-stick spray and chocolate frosting. "We won't need this until later so…"

"It's snowing outside, you know what would be really pretty."

"What?" Jack asked as he handed the batter spoon to Chloe, and then started to spray the pan with non-stick spray. "You like batter right?"

Chloe nodded as she licked the spoon. "I love it,"

Jack smiled as he watched Chloe, she had been so sad the last couple of days so he was relieved to see her smile. "What did you ask Santa to get you for Christmas?"

Chloe moved to the sink to wash off the spoon. "I asked Santa to get me a baby brother."

Jack smiled, "Oh…really."

Chloe nodded, "But I know Santa won't be able to get me a little brother just yet, so I just asked Santa to give my gift away to someone else that needs it more than me. All I want is for everyone to be happy."

Jack paused, "You don't want anything?"

"I have all I could want." Chloe replied. "What did you ask Santa to get you?"

Jack smiled at the thought of asking Santa to get him anything at his age. "I have everything I could want as well."

"You have Kate. You two make each other so happy…I hope when I get older, I am happy like you two." Chloe pulled out a chair and then sat down. "When you and Kate have babies can I take care of them?"

Jack smiled as he turned on the oven and then lowered the pan inside. "Um…sure,"

"You would be a good dad." Chloe commented.

Jack felt himself blushing. At once he didn't think he would be a good dad because of his own daddy issues but since Kate had come along he was starting to see otherwise.

"I never knew mine, but mommy says that he was a great guy. She loved him a lot. And I kinda wish that I knew him." Chloe admitted. "Anyways, why were you outside earlier for so long…I saw you playing around with Christmas lights on the roof."

"I made a message for Kate up there…I just thought it would look nice with the snow and all."

"Can we make her a card too?" Chloe asked with wide eyes.

Jack nodded, "Sure,"

"And can we make Sawyer one too!"

"I don't see why not," Jack added.

Before Jack and Chloe left the kitchen, Chloe ran over to the stove and grabbed her stool by the sink so she could set the timer. "We can't burn Kate's cake on her birthday."

"No we can't…"

"Jack, does Kate believe in Santa Claus?"

Jack smiled, "No,"

"Would she like it if you dressed up as Santa Claus? Do you think that would make her smile because she hasn't smiled in so long…and I want her to smile again. Even though everything is kind of sad right now."

Jack wanted to see Kate smile too. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well we have this old Santa Claus costume up in the attic that my mom's friend used to wear on Christmas Eve when I was younger. How about you dress up for Kate? She might laugh at you but I think she would like it."

Jack felt his cheeks flush red again.

"But she could use a laugh…and I think she would love you for making a fool out of yourself just to cheer her up on her birthday."

"I'll make a fool out of myself for her…but will it make you happy too?"

Chloe nodded, "Yes,"

Both Jack and Chloe headed into the den to make cards for both Kate and Sawyer. "I hope you don't mind if I multi-task," Jack said.

Chloe shook her head, "No, go ahead I'll just work on Sawyer's card first."

"Ok," Jack said as he affectionately patted Chloe on the head and then moved towards the Christmas tree to remove a bag from underneath. As he made his way back towards Chloe he couldn't help but to glance at the spot where Timmy had died. Jack clenched his jaw as he thought back to that night. Just four days had passed, and the first two nights they had all stayed with Cecile, but then Kate started to have panic attacks, so Jack decided to come back with Kate. He lowered himself back down onto the floor and then glanced at the fire in the hearth. Jack couldn't help but to notice how put together Chloe was after all of this.

Chloe watched as Jack started to pull out the little boxes. "They're shiny,"

Jack smiled. "That they are. And I know what you're going to ask next so I'm just going to go ahead and answer." He pulled out a silver locket from the bag, followed by a piece of paper. "I'm going to put gifts in some of these boxes, and in others I'm going to put little notes…just words that tell Kate how much she means to me. I'm a fan of the all things sappy, at least when Kate is involved."

Chloe smiled, "I know, but I'm sure Kate loves it."

"I feel like it is too much sometimes though."

"But you love her so it isn't."

"You're a very wise six year old." Jack commented with a smirk.

Chloe giggled, "Thank you."

* * *

Kate slowly opened her eyes. For some reason she expected Jack to be curled up close behind her, but surprising he wasn't. She sighed to herself as she forced herself up. Christmas wasn't even here, but yet Kate was already miserable. She never did like Christmas. Kate placed her hand to her head as she looked outside solemnly. It was snowing, and the grass was coated in a thin sheet of glistening snow. She stood up and walked over to the window. Everyone seemed to be slowly recovering from the trauma that was Timmy, but Kate was still shaken about the whole episode. Every time she closed her eyes she still saw Timmy's face, and how much he resembled Tom. Kate bit her lip, as she reached in her pocket to pull out the airplane that Sawyer had given her right before Timmy had shot him. She knew that she shouldn't be holding onto it, but the airplane reminded her so much of Tom. Kate closed her eyes. Was it so much to ask for her to be happy for once in life? She had Jack and she loved him so much, but yet the emptiness inside of her would always remain, and Kate knew that Jack would get tired of her one day. She lowered herself down onto the window ledge and then looked down at the plane. Kate turned it over slowly in wonder, and then turned it back towards her so she could fly the plane in the air. Her face dropped in sadness as she thought about Tom and then Diane. They were both gone. And they had died all alone because of her. Kate dropped the plane, and bent her head in despair as a wave of emotions started to take over her. She wrapped her trembling arms around her body as she struggled to console herself. 

"Silent Night" started to play outside of the room.

Kate wiped away her tears and looked up in surprise as the door opened. Chloe stepped inside and then signaled for Kate to follow after her. Kate's eyebrows furrowed low over her eyebrows as she stood up in curiosity. All the lights had been turned off outside of the room but Kate could make out the soft glow of candles bouncing illuminating the walls. Kate immediately realized that Jack was behind this, but she couldn't allow herself to be excited, because her heart wouldn't let her. They had all been through so much, and there was no way that she could smile and pretend that it was all going to be okay. Even though she wanted to for Jack, she just couldn't.

"Don't forget to pick up the boxes on the floor," Chloe pointed out.

Kate looked down in surprise to see at least ten golden boxes with velvet bows leading the way to the open patio door. The snow was starting to fall at a steadier pace and the grass was now barely visible. It was truly beautiful outside. Kate sighed to herself as she bent down to pick up the first box. Why did Jack always do this to her? Why did he always try to cheer her up when she didn't want to be cheered up?

Kate hesitated before untying the velvet bow, and then she pulled off the top. Inside was a small piece of paper. Kate pulled it out and then read it. "This is your day and you deserve it. I can't tell you how many times, that smile of yours brightened up my day…so I wanted to do something special for you. It may be a little stupid on my part because it's snowing. But you mean so much to me that I don't care…just hurry up ok. It's going to get slippery soon. Open the next box Kate."

Kate had no idea where Jack was going with this so she focused on Chloe in confusion. "Okay? What's going on here?"

Chloe shrugged and then turned towards the kitchen, "I have to go check on something really quickly but I will be back!"

Kate watched after Chloe for a little longer and then picked up the next box. She didn't hesitate this time to pull off the ribbon. Kate gasped when she looked down at the beautiful silver charm bracelet. Her mouth dropped open in awe as she admired the bracelet. She trailed her hand beneath the tiny heart that hung delicately from the silver loops and examined the inscription. It read in small cursive words, "Jack's girl." Warmth started to invade her cheeks and the earlier feelings of sadness slowly started to drift away. Kate picked up more boxes which exposed more notes until there was only two more boxes left.

Chloe had returned now.

Kate picked up the second to last box and then opened it quickly. This one contained a letter as well that read. "Just one more box, and then you get to get a good laugh at me. I've really made a fool of myself this time, and I doubt I'll be able to top myself this time. But it's okay. I love you, so check the next box…sweetheart."

Kate bit her lip in order to hide her smile. She practically ran to open the last box which was situated right by the edge of the door. Kate brushed off some snow which had fallen on the box and then opened it. She sighed in relief when she saw the engagement ring Jack had given her a couple days back. Tears of relief welled in her eyes because she thought she had lost it. Kate put the ring back on her finger with shaking hands.

"He's waiting for you," Chloe replied reaching for Kate's hand and taking her outside.

Kate wiped the tears away from her eyes as she stepped outside into the white wonderland. Her emerald eyes shifted around the bare trees which were coated with glistening snow and then at the rest of the backyard. Jack was no where to be found.

"Kate!"

Kate slowly turned around. She squinted through the falling precipitation almost unable to believe her eyes. Either Jack was being incredibly foolish or unbelievably romantic at the moment. Her hand shifted to her mouth as she watched him in awe. The wind whistled and the snow shifted its steady fall to the east. Kate wrapped her arms around her body and shivered as she kept her eyes trained on Jack. "Oh my god Jack, get down from there!"

"Hold on, Chloe now!"

Kate watched as Chloe ran inside and then all of a sudden an array of lights illuminated the area around Jack's feet. The roof was lit in beautiful gold, green, and red lights and in the middle of the roof was a heart. Kate's mouth dropped in disbelief. She was speechless, completely and utterly shocked.

"I love you Kate Austen!" Jack yelled like an idiot.

Kate stared back athim in awe. Jack was going out of his way to make her smile, he wasn't even behaving like his usual calm self .She was flattered, and swept off her feet. Kate placed her hand to her mouth as she tried to hide her smile. "Jack…" Katesaidas she wiped away the last ofher tears.

Jack beamed back down at her, "Now you can laugh at me. That's what I'm up here for."

Kate nodded her head up and down as she kicked at some snow beneath her feet. "I'm not going to laugh at you…even though you're dressed up as Santa Claus,"

Jack blushed. "Even more reason to laugh."

"You did all this for me. I'm speechless, the charm bracelet is beautiful…but my ring is even more so. I thought I had lost it." Kate wrapped her arms around her body and shivered as a cold breeze blew past. "You spoil me more than I deserve to be."

"You dese…woah…" Jack's foot slipped on a hidden sheet of ice beneath the accumulating snow on the roof.

"Jack!" Kate screamed holding her hands outwards.

Jack fell onto his back hitting the roof with a hard thud, and then sliding downwards. He yelled as his body was propelled forward andgrabbed onto the saftey rop around his waist as itjerked him back upwards. Jack groaned to himself as the safety rope then caused him to sway from side to side he and then hit his back against the wall. God, he really made a fool of himself this time. Jack looked down and then closed his eyes as he tried to catch his breath which had been knocked out of him by the fall. When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Kate staring back at him with her mouth agape.

Kate watched him nervously with her hand held to her heart. "Jack, are you okay? You scared me to death."

"I should've known better than to be on the roof while it's snowing, but I just wanted to do something for you, no matter how ridiculous it was." Jack shook his head in disappointment as he tried to pull himself upwards, but instead he ending up falling against the wall again. "Um…when you get a chance would you mind helping me down?"

"Are you okay Jack?" Chloe asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah I'm fine, but how about we keep this between us." Jack asked trying to ignore the feeling of embarrassment coursing through him.

Kate smiled back at Jack.

It had been four days since he had last seen that smile. So maybe making a fool out of himself wasn't too bad of an idea.

"Chloe how about you go back inside, it's getting cold out here. I'll make sure Jack gets down okay."

Chloe nodded sensing that Kate wanted to be alone with Jack and then disappeared back inside.

Kate looked after her and then slowly turned back around to face Jack. "I've been really down the last couple of days, because so much has happened…"

"I know but…"

Kate placed her hand on Jack's lips to silence him.

Jack closed his eyes as he allowed himself to relish in the feel of Kate's soft fingers against his lips.

"You're going to be the death of me Shepard."

Jack opened his eyes and then focused them back on Kate. She looked so beautiful right now. Flecks of snow were hidden inside of her curly locks and her cheeks were rosy and begging to be kissed by him. He tried to break free of the trance that Kate had induced on him, but his attempts only seemed to be proving futile. "How am I going to be the death of you?"

"This has been done before you know." Kate said removing her hand from over his lips and then stroking his jaw with adoration.

"What has been done?" Jack asked obliviously.

"Upside down kisses."

"Oh…god, do you think I did this on purpose? I mean I wanted to make you laugh, but I didn't intend on making this big of a fool out of myself. This was an accident I didn't mean too…"

Kate silenced Jack by placing her lips against his nose, and then placing down a tender kiss. "I thought this was going to be just like any other Christmas. And with everything that's happened I didn't see how I could enjoy this day…and I didn't want too. But you always do this to me, and I love you for being able to cheer me up."

"I'm glad I could help." Jack whispered in Kate's ear as she turned her face away from him. He groaned as his lips traced her delicate earlobe, and then she turned back towards him causing his mouth to graze her rosy cheeks.

"I'll take you down in a second, but now you have me curious." Kate placed her hands on both sides of Jack's face and then stared deep into his eyes. She knew this was right. Jack was right for her, and he had always been. Kate's eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes as she brought her mouth closer. How could he love her, put up with all of her craziness, and choose her out of all the women in the world. Her eyelids slowly fluttered shut as she felt Jack's breath tickle her lips seconds before they kissed.

The snow started to fall even steadier, but neither Jack nor Kate noticed because they were so lost in the moment. Small flecks of white powder descended onto Kate's long eyelashes and then slid down her cheeks as she tasted the longing, and eagerness hidden behind the affectionate kisses Jack was giving her. Kate stood onto her tipee toes so she could have better access to Jack's mouth. Whenever they kissed she felt as if all of her worries were eased off of her shoulders, and that everything would be alright. Kate needed to feel that security right now. She gripped onto Jack's face a little tighter as she bit his bottom lip. He groaned quietly but he continued to kiss her back.

Jack opened his mouth wider, and allowed Kate to explore every crevice of his mouth as he did the same to her. He breathed in her air as he adjusted his head to the side. The feel of her mouth against his, and the way her hands were stroking his cheek caused a warm sensation to travel through his body despite the freezing temperatures around them. Jack just wanted to live in this moment forever.

Kate leaned away a couple seconds later as she still held onto his face. She was out of breath and gasping for air.

Jack still craved more and he was still lost in their kiss. His lips were puckered outwards and his eyes were still closed.

"Jack…"

"Just one more." Jack replied.

Kate couldn't help but to giggle.

Jack smiled but kept his eyes shut. He had managed to make Kate giggle. He wasn't sure how she would be in the morning, but right now all that mattered was that she was okay.

"Just one more, and then…"

Before Jack could beg Kate to kiss him once again she placed her lips on his silencing all of his thoughts.


	16. Born to Run, Part 1

Chapter 16- Born to Run, Part 1

"Thanks for everything Jack," Kate said as she lowered herself down onto the bed next to him.

Jack looked up from the note he was reading and then placed it behind his back as he accepted a kiss from Kate. "Never again am I going on a roof dressed as Santa Claus when it's snowing."

"I thought it was cute," Kate wrapped her arm around Jack's shoulders casually and then rested her head against his. "I feel a little better now,"

"Just a little?" Jack asked in a low voice as he linked his hand inside of Kate's.

"Well Jack, considering everything that's happened."

"I know," Jack replied quickly as he squeezed Kate's hand tighter. "It was really nice seeing your smile again. I missed it."

"Well I'm not sure when it's coming back," Kate sighed.

"Do I have to dress up as Santa again?"

Kate laughed, "And risk Sawyer seeing you?"

"I don't care if Sawyer sees me." Jack said letting go of Kate's hand and then turning to face her. "How was the cake by the way?"

"I didn't have any yet,"

Jack smiled, "Really?"

Kate nodded and then ran her hands over Jack's short brown hair. "I wanted you to be there when I cut it, and besides you have to take the first bite."

Jack grinned, "Are you worried that your going to get sick from my cooking?"

Kate smiled again.

Jack brought his body closer to Kate's and then wrapped his arms around her body. "I think I got some egg shells in there,"

"Really?"

"I'm just kidding. I can bake a cake Kate, and besides I had a little assistance. Chloe helped me." Jack added.

Kate closed her eyes. "She's such a good kid, Taylor is lucky."

"Yeah," Jack said looking down at the sheets.

"I don't think I can stay here anymore Jack. I need to leave."

Jack looked up surprised. But didn't say anything because he understood why Kate felt that way. He swallowed down a lump in his throat as he propped his arm up on the bed. "Then we'll leave, but we don't have a car,"

"There is a used car dealership up the road. All we need is something cheap, as long as it drives that's all that matters." Kate bit her lip deep in thought. "I feel guilty for taking all of the money Sawyer had given Taylor before…but we have to go."

Jack nodded once again. "We will, after all we did talk about this before."

Kate's green eyes widened and she glanced at Jack as her heart rate increased. She blinked as images of Tom flooded her subconscious.

Jack clenched his jaw. "I'm sorry,"

Kate shook her head, "It's fine, I just…" Her voice trailed off as she leaned forward to massage her forehead with her hands. "I don't want to think about it."

"I know," Jack sat up and then got behind Kate so he could massage her back.

"I'm okay Jack," Kate reached for his hands and dropped them down by his side. "How about we get some cake,"

Jack's eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes as he watched Kate's eyes start to brim with tears. He took in a deep breath as he gently stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"I'm okay," Kate said kissing his hand.

Jack looked away in pain. Even when he got her to smile, he knew the sadness would always be there, and Jack knew that he couldn't release her from that. His hand dropped down onto his leg as Kate forced herself upwards. "So were going to leave tomorrow."

Kate nodded, "Yeah," She held out her hand to help Jack up. He accepted and pulled himself upwards. Together they walked into the kitchen with Jack's arm wrapped around Kate's shoulders.

Jack smiled as he watched Chloe place the last candle on the cake. "Oh I didn't know we were using candles,"

Chloe giggled, "What is a birthday cake without candles. Besides Kate has to make a wish and then blow them all out." Chloe pulled out a chair for both Kate and Jack and then sat down across from them.

Jack flipped off the light and then joined Kate and Chloe at the table.

"You can light them Jack," Chloe said handing Jack a box of matches.

"Okay," Jack replied taking the box from Chloe and then lighting the candles quickly. After he was finished he placed down the box and then turned to face Kate. "You ready to make a wish?"

Kate didn't feel like making any wishes. Because she knew that she didn't deserve any good to come her way. She sunk down in her chair and then shifted her eyes towards Chloe. The six year old stared back at her with big bluish-green eyes which resembled Sawyer's so closely. Kate got side tracked for a minute as she observed the uncanny resemblance until Jack rested his arm against hers.

Kate snapped out of it. "Right a wish," She leaned forward and closed her eyes. Maybe she wouldn't make a wish. Kate squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to make it look as if she was making a wish.

_I wished to be happy._

Kate shook her head. She didn't deserve it.

_I wish that I can be okay, and that Sawyer could be okay. And that I can finally be happy with Jack._

Kate felt her lips start to quiver. But she managed to control it. There were so many things she could wish for, but she didn't want to make any wishes for herself. Instead she would rather make a wish for Jack and Sawyer, and hope that they would find happiness. Kate opened her eyes and then looked at Jack. How could he be happy with her? With this life that she was forcing him to lead. This crazy life on the run that made no sense.

Jack was looking back at Kate with an encouraging smile.

She looked away from him and then blew out the candles.

Chloe clapped her hands together. "May all your wishes come true."

Kate forced a smile in both Chloe and Jack's direction. "Thanks for the cake you two, I really appreciate it."

Jack kissed Kate on the cheek. "Happy birthday Kate,"

Kate closed her eyes as she accepted Jack's kiss. "Thank you,"

"I love you," He said after another kiss.

"Me too," Kate added quietly.

"Hey, save that for later," Chloe said handing Jack a dull knife and then plates too hand to everyone. "Let's have some cake."

Kate nodded in agreement. She felt bad that they had to leave Taylor and Chloe after such a big trauma, but it wasn't a good idea to stay with them for any longer. Kate looked back at Chloe with difficulty. She was so young, but yet her innocence had been taken away the night Sawyer had gotten shot and Timmy died right in front of her eyes.

"Here you go…a nice big piece of chocolate cake," Jack said placing down a plate in front of her.

"Oh thanks Jack," Kate said as she tried to change her trail of thought.

Chloe reached for her fork and dug in, "Mmmm….this is very good Jack you did a good job,"

"I couldn't have done it without your help," Jack replied giving Chloe a thumbs up.

She returned it to Jack and then focused back on her cake.

Kate also felt guilty about taking Jack away from Chloe. He had been so good with her, especially after Sawyer had got taken to the hospital. Jack had stayed up all night with Chloe and he had done his best to reassure her that Sawyer would be okay, and that no one else was coming to hurt them. Kate had fallen asleep in Jack's arms that night as well, and somehow he had managed to console both her and Chloe. He was truly amazing. And the next morning when she had woken up, Jack was still awake looking over both her and Chloe. Kate knew that he didn't get any sleep that night. Jack was just that good.

"Mommy still hasn't called yet," Chloe said quietly. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a small cell phone. "She said she would call when she got close to the house with Sawyer."

"He'll be here," Jack assured.

Chloe let Jack's words sink in and then nodded. "He will,"

Kate watched as Chloe placed the phone back in her pocket.

"Are you that scared of the cake?" Jack asked motioning towards Kate's untouched cake with his fork.

"Oh no, I just um…" Kate looked back at him and shook her head. "I'm out of it, I'm sorry."

"Here," Jack sliced off a piece of the fluffy vanilla bread topped with rich chocolate frosting. "Just try a little bit."

Kate tucked her hair behind her ear as the piece of cake came dangerously close to her mouth. "Are you feeding me now?"

Jack looked down embarrassed. "I'm sorry,"

"No it's okay,"

"I mean you can I just…" Jack closed his eyes.

"It's fine," Kate opened her mouth, "Go ahead,"

"No I don't have to, I just was being silly again."

Kate reached for Jack's hand and then brought the fork to her mouth. She smiled at the taste of the cake. It was surprisingly good.

"How is it?" Jack asked as he rested the fork down on Kate's plate.

"Good," She said with a smile.

Later that night Jack found himself back in the room. He had washed all the dishes and cleaned the table, and now he was looking over the letter that Kate had written. Jack smiled to himself as he read it. He didn't want Kate to catch him reading it, because she had written it just before Timmy had attacked them, and Jack didn't want her to have a relapse now. Especially when she had been in such a fragile state the last couple of days.

Jack turned the letter over in his hands and then placed it down on the bed. He knew that Kate thought he was better than her, because she described him as the "perfect man" in the letter and that bothered him. Jack knew he wasn't perfect, he was far from it. And it didn't feel good to know that Kate thought of him as better than her. Jack clenched his jaw. They were going to have to talk about that at some point, but not now. The door opened and Jack looked up.

Kate stepped in and closed the door behind her. "Hey,"

"Hey," He said placing the letter behind his back.

"I'm going to take a shower, and them I think I'm going to get some rest."

"Okay," Jack nodded. "I'll wait up for you,"

"You don't have to."

"Just in case you need to talk, I will," Jack offered crossing his hands over his stomach. He reached for a crossword puzzle on the press and a pen. "I'll just do these until you're finished."

"I'm really going to have to start paying you for the talks." Kate said as she reached for her towel, a bra and panties, and a button down plaid shirt of Jack's.

"My services for you are free,"

Kate smiled and then blushed, "Okay…I'll be back."

Jack nodded, "I'll be up." He watched as she disappeared out of the room and closed the door behind her. Somehow he had to find a way to make Kate understand that she was the one that fixed him. Jack picked up his pen as he focused on the crossword in front of him. He would just have to focus on that tomorrow, because right now he had to concentrate on how they were going to break the news that they were leaving to Chloe and Taylor.

Five minutes later Jack had already finished most of the crossword, it wasn't challenging enough for his liking, but then again he was working from Chloe's puzzle booklet. Jack smiled to himself at the thought and then placed down the book. He glanced towards the door expecting Kate to walk in, but the door remained shut. Jack needed something else to occupy his time. He stood up and then walked towards the closet. Maybe he could pack since they were leaving tomorrow. Jack pulled out a small suitcase which Taylor had lent them, and then moved towards the drawer to remove the small amount of clothes that they owned. He was interrupted by the sound of a car pulling into the driveway.

Good. Sawyer and Taylor were back. Jack placed down the folded clothes in the open suitcase and then walked towards the window. He pushed back the curtain and then looked out expecting to see Taylor's truck.

What?

Jack quickly moved to flip off the light switch. He didn't recognize this car. It wasn't Taylor's truck. Jack held his breath as the door to the white Toyota Corolla opened. A shiny black boot stepped out onto the gravel followed by another, and then a man stepped out. He looked around cautiously and then closed the car door behind him. He took a step towards the house and then paused to look around once more. He seemed to be debating whether he should come up to the porch or not.

Jack's eyes widened in fear as he watched the man start to walk towards the door once again. He seemed to be looking for something. Jack knew that there was a Marshal looking for Kate and a part of him feared that this guy outside was the Marshal. Shit. Even though he wasn't sure, Jack wasn't going to take any chances.

He dashed towards the bathroom, and opened the door as soon as Kate was stepping out. She looked back at him in surprise but didn't say anything. Jack tried to ignore the fact that she was naked. He could admire her later, but now was definitely not the time.

Kate reached for a towel as Jack continued to look back at her in awe as he tried to force the words out of his mouth.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked as she wrapped the towel around her waist.

"Someone's here,"

"What?" Kate asked searching Jack's eyes with fear. She walked over to him and then grabbed onto his shirt. "What do you mean? Who's here?"

"A man, he has a Toyota Corolla, and he's by himself." Jack glanced towards their room. "I think he could be the Marshal that's looking for you."

Kate's mouth dropped, "How did he find me? It can't be him."

The doorbell rung.

Kate gasped. She looked back at Jack pleadingly. "If he finds me then I'm going to jail!"

"No you're not," Jack placed his hands on Kate's shaking arms and then he motioned down to his shirt. "Get dressed. He's not going to come in here."

"If he thinks I'm in here then he will," Kate said as she moved her hands towards Jack's arms.

The doorbell rang once again.

Jack reached for Kate's clothes on the bathroom sink and then handed it to her. "Just get dressed, I'll take care of everything."

"Jack…"

"Kate!" Jack exclaimed.

Kate clamped her hand over his mouth. "Shh!"

"I'm sorry just please…" Jack looked towards the door and then focused back on Kate. "I'm going to go and get Chloe,"

Kate nodded and then started to get dressed.

Jack lingered for a little while longer and then ran into Chloe's room. He found her beside her bed. She turned around to face him in surprise. "What's wrong Jack?"

"I'm going to need you to come with me," He tried to sound as calm as possible but Jack knew that it wasn't working.

Chloe stood up without asking any questions and allowed Jack to quickly lead her into the room he shared with Kate. Kate was waiting for them in there. Jack closed the door behind him, and then walked over to Kate. "Did you see him?"

"I can't see anyone," Kate whispered shakily.

Jack got behind her and then peered outside. "Do you recognize that car?"

"No," Kate responded.

The figure stepped off of the porch and then started to approach the window. Both Kate and Jack held their breath as the shadow approached closer and closer. The figure stopped walking and both Kate and Jack allowed themselves to hide in the shadows.

The footsteps echoed throughout the silent night air as he approached again. He walked slowly and in a steady rhythm. And then a shadow appeared in front of the window.

Kate gasped, and Jack grabbed onto her arm pulling her away from the window. It was him, it was the Marshal. She had seen his face briefly.

He placed his hands against the window then and peered inside.

Jack signaled for Chloe to get off of the bed and come over to them. Chloe did as she was told and ran over to Jack and Kate.

Jack and Kate hid behind the curtain as the knocked on the glass. He lingered there for a while and then his footsteps were heard walking back towards the door.

Kate placed her hand to her rapidly beating heart. "How did he find us?"

"I don't know, but he…"

Jack stopped talking when he heard the doorknob start to turn from outside. "He has no jurisdiction to come in here, he won't."

"No he would," Kate said moving back towards the window. She placed her hand against the glass and then peered outside. Surely enough the Marshal was trying to get in.

The front door opened a little too easily.

Kate, Jack, and Chloe turned towards the locked room door in shock.

He was inside the house.

"Shit." Jack muttered under his breath.

Chloe looked up at him in fear. She reached for Jack's shirt and then grabbed onto him tightly in order to keep from crying.

Kate's eyes opened in fear as she looked around frantically. Her breathing pattern had grown ragged and she feared that she was about to faint. Kate opened her mouth wider trying to gather oxygen into her lungs. The Marshal was going to get her, after all of the running he was finally going to get her. Tears streamed down her face as she heard the footsteps approach.

"1…2…" Kate bit her lip as she struggled to keep her gasps quiet. She couldn't control it. Kate clamped her hand over her mouth but her stomach only started to heave harder with each attempt begging for more oxygen. Kate then tried to hold her breath until she was red in the face.

"3…4…" Kate cried under her breath.

The footsteps drew closer and closer to the door. Something crashed to the floor.

Kate nearly screamed but Jack lunged outwards and placed his hand on Kate's mouth as he wrapped her tightly in his arms. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to think of any possibility to get out of the house. But all she could think about was feeling the cold metal of the handcuffs on her wrists and then having to say goodbye to Jack forever.

The thought of having to say goodbye to Jack terrified her more than loosing her freedom. Kate shivered as she felt Jack let her go.

"Jack," Kate whispered in fear.

He moved towards the closet quickly and then reached for a pair of scissors. Jack's hands were shaking violently as he walked back towards the window. He glanced towards the door, and then focused back on the window. Slowly he started to pull the window up. Inch by Inch, as each footstep grew closer. The door was locked but the Marshal had easily gotten through the front door, so there was no telling how long it would take for him to get in there.

Jack focused on pulling up the window as quietly as possible with the uttermost concentration. The window squeaked loudly.

Jack dropped his hands down by his sides. And they all listened in silence. As they waited to see which direction the next footsteps would come from. He glanced at Kate and then at Chloe. The silence was so loud. The clock in the room ticked eerily, and the wind from outside blew against the shutters and the wind chimes. It was almost too much to take.

Panic started to overwhelm him. Jack struggled to maintain his cool. He didn't work well under pressure; and he had to get Chloe and Kate out of the house. He waited in anticipation for the next footstep, but it didn't come. Shit. Jack reached for the edges of the window again. He pulled it up slowly but it didn't budge.

His heart skipped a beat.

Kate slowly cast her eyes on Jack's troubled expression, and her eyes widened when she noticed a brief look of defeat.

Jack focused on Kate and then shook his head. "It's okay," He whispered.

"He'll be in here in any second!" Kate mouthed fearfully.

The doorknob turned.

Kate, Jack, and Chloe focused on the doorknob in terror.

It turned halfway around, and then all of a sudden it stopped.

Kate backed up against the wall.

And Jack started to try and pull the window up as quietly as possible. He could feel the pressure weighing down on him. Mental images of Kate being sent away to jail flashed into his subconscious. And then the thought of Taylor going down with them for aiding a fugitive haunted his thoughts. He couldn't let that happen, and he wouldn't!

Kate's eyes were trained on the doorknob. She didn't realize it but she was holding her breath again. Goose bumps started to form along her arms, and she could feel her hair standing on end. How did he find her? How!

The doorknob turned again. This time it was more violent. He turned again and again, and again.

Kate clamped both of her hands against her mouth. Tears of horror streamed down her face. She was on wits end, and she couldn't take it anymore. How could one person handle so much in such a short period of time? He seemed to suspect that someone was in the room because he started to twist and turn the doorknob more aggressively, and it appeared as if he would be in the room in seconds.

The window budged once again as Jack got it to open wider. This time the squeak was louder than before.

The turning stopped, and then there was the sound of footsteps walking away from the door.

"He heard you," Kate said with dread.

They suddenly heard the Marshal step out onto the porch and then he started to walk towards the window.

"Oh migod," Kate said as she backed away from the window.

They heard the screen being messed around with as if someone was trying to knock it down so they could get inside.

Kate dashed towards the door.

"Kate!" Jack said out loud. He watched in shock as she opened the door and ran out of the room. He scooped Chloe up in his arms and ran after her.

"Don't follow me Jack! He wants me not you!"

"Stop!"

Both Jack and Kate stopped in fear.

The Marshal stepped inside with his gun drawn and looked back at the expressions on their faces with a sadistic smirk. "Merry Christmas Katie."

(Thank you everyone that reviewed last chapter. I hope everyone has a happy and safe new year:)


	17. Born to Run, Part 2

Chapter 17- Born to Run, Part 2

"I said Merry Christmas," The Marshal repeated as he stepped further inside. He raised his gun and then signaled for Kate to get up against the wall. "Put your hands behind your back where I can see them, and don't try anything tricky because I won't hesitate to fire." He then cast his cold blue eyes in Jack's direction. "Consider yourself lucky that she's not your problem anymore, now you can get back to your life with Sarah." The Marshal turned to look back at Kate who was suspiciously looking around the room. He immediately suspected that she was up to something so he ran over to her and grabbed her arm.

Kate grimaced in pain.

"Don't hurt her!" Jack yelled letting Chloe down to the ground, and starting to walk over to them.

Edward turned to look at Jack warningly, "I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and I'm letting you off the hook. And you know why that is, it's because she's smart. Miss Austen here plays with people's minds and then screws them over. Too me you look like a decent guy who got sucked into her mess against your will. I'm giving you your life back. Go back to L.A. and be with your fiancé."

Jack looked at Kate. He had a feeling that the Marshal was talking about Sarah. Jack tried to search for the right words to get Kate off of the hook, but he knew there was nothing he could say that could help her now. Jack still didn't even know what Kate had done before he met her. He swallowed down a wad of nervousness in his throat. It seemed as if there was no right choice for him to make right now. What could he possibly do? Attack the Marshall, and then end up getting shot right in front of Chloe? Or even worse sit back like a coward and watch as Kate gets taken away to prison. His troubles weighed heavily on his mind as he watched the Marshal pull out his handcuffs. Jack clenched his jaw. Although, he still cared about Sarah, he couldn't go back to her, his heart was with Kate.

"Justice must be served, even to you Katherine." He grinned wickedly as he tightened his grip around Kate's arm while he used his other hand to keep the gun on her. "She's a runner you know. I got her once when she was trying to get away to see her daddy…"

"Shut the hell up!" Kate yelled.

_Daddy?_ Jack didn't know much, but he did know that Kate didn't get along with her father. So why would she go to see him? Jack shook his head. He didn't care about what the Marshal had to say. Although, a part of him felt that he should know, Jack didn't want too, because he felt as if he knew Kate better than anyone else.

"Now how did you manage to convince him…a spinal surgeon to stay on the run with you this long?" He glanced down at the plaid button down shirt Kate was wearing and then at her bare legs. "Oh I think I know now."

"You pig," Kate growled.

The Marshal shook his head, "You have the right to remain silent anything you say…"

"Don't read me my rights," Kate interrupted. Her legs were shaking uncontrollably, but she knew that it was either fight or flight. She closed her eyes as she felt the Marshal clasp one handcuff tightly around her thin wrist. She looked up at the ceiling first as she tried to shake her fear. After Kate felt as if she had gotten herself somewhat together she searched for anything to attack him with. Jack was going to think she was crazy after seeing what she was about to do. And she didn't want him to be afraid of her, because she loved him so much, but honestly she had been scared of herself the last couple of days. And Chloe, Kate bit her lip as she looked at the child. She didn't want Chloe to see her at her worst. But Kate had no choice. The Marshal leaned close to Kate and then whispered in her ear causing her to loose her train of thought. "No one loves a murderer."

"Get the f…"

"Watch your mouth," The Marshal growled as he dug his nails into Kate's flesh. "Does the Doc know about that potty mouth of yours?"

"You have no right to barge in here unannounced without any reason to search this place." Jack pointed out obviously searching for a reasonable way to help Kate.

"Oh…but I do now. Let's just say that somehow your scatterbrained plan to escape by cutting the screen window open with a pair of scissors worked," Edward paused to laugh sadistically.

His laugh was shrill and filled with hate that made Kate's blood run cold.

"If Kate did escape then I could've gotten in trouble, but now that I got her in my custody I'm off the hook. But before I tighten the last cuff around your wrist why don't you take one last look at him."

"I don't have to take one last look at him." Kate snarled with tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"And why is that? Do you think that he's going to come and visit you at some maximum security prison while you're waiting to get fried in the electric chair? Stop living in a fairytale, and wake up," The Marshall slammed Kate against the wall.

"Stop manhandling her! She's not resisting arrest!" Jack yelled feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. How was he supposed to get Kate off of the hook this time, it didn't do them any good if they were both sent to jail. Jack clenched his jaw. He would just have to find a way to get her out. Shit, was he actually accepting that fact that Kate was going to jail. Jack bit his lip in thought, If Kate did go to jail then he doubted that they would even post bail for her. What was he supposed to do? He needed Kate in his life, like he needed oxygen. No matter how pathetic it sounded Jack knew that it was true.

"What's happening?" Chloe asked clearly frightened.

Jack looked down. He always knew the right words to say to ease Chloe's anxiety, but not this time. "I…" Jack shook his head dismissing any other words that might come out of his mouth and focused back on Kate.

Kate eyes rested on a fire poker close enough for her to grab. If she made a move for it then she knew that she would have to be quick because the Marshal would shoot her in a heartbeat. "I give up," Kate lied.

"Of course you do, because I'm not giving you any other choice." Edward said as he got ready to snap the last handcuff on Kate's other wrist, but he was interrupted when Kate turned to look at him. "What do you want?" He growled.

"It's freezing outside can you at least let me put on a pair of pants," Kate said innocently. She knew that he wasn't buying her act, but she couldn't come up with anything smoother because her mind was in overdrive.

The Marshal wrinkled his nose in disgust at Kate, and the deep lines in his forehead became more apparent. "Are you kidding me?"

Kate shook her head, "No, I'm serious."

"Why should I spare you your dignity, after the way you made me chase you around the whole damn country for the last couple of years. Frankly I don't give a shit if you freeze to death."

"I'll get her some pants," Jack volunteered figuring that Kate was trying to distract the Marshal.

Edward glared at Jack but didn't object when he disappeared into the back.

"He doesn't love you. You tricked him into feeling that way."

Kate glanced towards the fire poker once again. She wished that Jack would take Chloe outside and wait for her out there, because Kate had a pit feeling deep in her stomach that things were going to get ugly. The second cuff was still hanging loosely behind her back. Her plan was working so far, if only she could find another way to distract him long enough to get over to the weapon.

Jack walked back in slowly.

Edward turned to him, "Want to dress her too?"

Jack clenched his jaw.

Kate signaled for Jack to talk to the Marshal in order to keep up her game of distraction. If Jack didn't think she was a monster after seeing what she was going to do to the Marshal then Chloe definitely would. As much as it pained her to do it, Kate knew that she had too. Her life, her freedom, and her relationship with Jack was on the line.

* * *

"What do you mean a Marshal showed up here looking for Kate?" Taylor asked frantically as she tried to get Sawyer to look her directly in the eyes.

Sawyer gazed around the hospital wearily.

"Sawyer?" Taylor pleaded.

He sighed and then focused back on her, "A Marshal was here, and he was looking for Kate. There is nothin' else to know. "

Taylor looked away as she placed her hands to the side of her face. "This is crazy,"

"That's why I am trying to figure out why you keep on helping us out. I let you off the hook but you keep on comin' back." He reached for Taylor's arm and pulled her away from a group of nurses who seemed to be eavesdropping in their conversations. "We don't need no more favors from you. And shit, can't they mind they're own damn business?" He growled.

"I know them. They all work with me," Taylor replied as she allowed her hand to slip to her cheek. "We have to warn Jack and Kate,"

"And tell them what? That leatherface is in town and he's looking for himself a fugtive? All that's goin' to do is worry them, and they can't do shit without a car." Sawyer said as he tried to ignore the worried tone his voice had now picked up.

"We can get them one."

Sawyer laughed, "How the hell are we gonna get them a car in the middle of the night without drawing attention to ourselves and riskin' Jack and Kate getting caught?"

"Cecile has a car that she doesn't use, it belonged to her husband that passed away two years ago and she's been trying to find good use for it."

"I don't want nothing to do with that woman." Sawyer muttered.

"Sawyer," Taylor scolded.

Sawyer turned away with a clenched jaw. The last thing he wanted to do was be reminded of that woman's son every time he got in the damn vehicle. He had dealt with the consequences of his actions that night already, and he didn't want to deal with the thought of an innocent man's blood on his hands again. "I just…"

"Kate needs to get away."

"Do you know what you're risking by helping us out? Why don't you just let me figure out what to do…"

"Keep your voice down!" Taylor reprimanded as she reached for Sawyer's sleeve with shaking hands.

Sawyer closed his mouth because for a brief second he found comfort in her touch.

"Taylor!" A voice called down the hospital corridor.

Both Taylor and Sawyer turned around to watch as a doctor approached. He appeared to be in his early to mid thirties, and he had pale blue eyes and dark brown hair which he wore slicked back.

Sawyer lowered his eyebrows over his eyes as the man stopped in front of Taylor. "Hey, I haven't seen you in awhile." He said smiling back at her with what looked

Like sympathy hidden in his eyes.

For a second Sawyer temporarily forgot about their situation. He watched angrily as the doctor placed his hand on Taylor's arm. Sawyer opened his mouth to speak, but then he caught himself. He wasn't in a relationship with Taylor first of all, and then again he was about to leave so it didn't matter. Right now the only thing he needed to focus on was getting Kate out of North Carolina before the Marshal got to her.

"How have you been?" The doctor asked.

"Good," Taylor replied as she looked towards the exit.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he gently massaged her arm.

Sawyer had had enough, the jealousy which he didn't know he possessed was starting to kick in. "We should go."

"We should," Taylor agreed. She gave him the doctor a smile which looked sincere but a little contrived for Taylor's tastes. "It was nice seeing you Ryan, but I have to go."

Sawyer felt Ryan's eyes glaring back at him. So he looked up. This guy didn't even know him but yet he was already looking at him wrong. Instinctively Sawyer clenched his fists ready to fight. But then he remembered the situation they were in. Sawyer forced himself to look away and so did Ryan.

"If you ever need anyone to talk to then I'll be there in a second."

"Okay," Taylor said nodding because she had a feeling Ryan was referring to what happened with Timmy. News traveled fast in small towns in the south like this one.

Now Sawyer was really starting to get angry. Who was this Ryan guy to her? He didn't like this doctor, and it said something because within two seconds of meeting him Sawyer already hated him more than Jack when they first had met.

Ryan glanced at Sawyer once more and then decided to extend his hand. "Hi, I'm Doctor Ryan McCarthy and I work here with Taylor, I don't think I caught your name."

Taylor sighed because she knew that they had to go.

Sawyer narrowed his eyes back at the doctor. He thought about not shaking Ryan's hand, but they had to leave and they didn't have much time for games. "Sawyer," He muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me? Didn't quite catch that what did you say?"

"Are you deaf?" Sawyer snapped.

Ryan straightened his back and then raised his chin. He adjusted his lab jacket and cleared his throat snootily. "Well Taylor the offer still stands as always."

"Thanks Ryan," Taylor replied politely as she followed after Sawyer who was already storming out of the door.

* * *

The Marshal took the pair of jeans from Jack's outstretched hands and then snickered. "Doesn't she have any of her own clothes?"

Jack looked away. He definitely wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"So how are we going to do this?" Edward asked in a low voice.

"Can I dress myself? I can't do too much with your gun trained on me." Kate replied turning around to look at him. The sight of his wicked face made her stomach churn.

"I still don't trust you any further than I can throw you, how about he helps you out." Edward beckoned his head towards Jack. "The last close contact you have with him before the lie is over once and for all."

"I can do it," Kate repeated.

"Well I'm not going to let you." The Marshal snapped as he tossed the jeans back in Jack's direction.

Kate watched quickly as the Marshal lowered his gun. He was clearly distracted because he was keeping his eyes trained on both Jack and Kate. Jack stepped forward.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Edward snapped.

Jack picked up Chloe, "I'm taking her outside because she doesn't need to see this."

Kate thanked Jack underneath her breath. She gave him a brief smile as he walked out.

"It's all over." The Marshal rubbed in. His face was still turned towards Jack as he spoke. Kate took action and quickly slipped her arm out of Edward's grasp which had loosened. He turned to her with his mouth agape and tried to train his gun back on Kate. But she had already kneed him in the stomach. He doubled over and then fell to the floor.

On the way down he latched onto Kate's leg. She screamed in surprise as she fell to the hard ground. A grunt escaped her throat as her back broke the fall. Edward was now on his knees frantically reaching out for his gun.

Out of no where Jack ran back into the house. He dived down, grabbed the gun and held it down by his side as he started to back away.

"Give that back if you know what's good for you. I'm letting you off the hook, don't ruin your life over this wretched woman. Surely, your freedom is more important that her!"

Kate kicked him in the stomach forcing him to let her go.

"Bitch," Edward growled as he clutched onto his stomach.

Kate forced herself up and then reached out for the fire poker. She didn't want to do this, but she had to. Kate bit her lip as she stepped back. She raised the fire poker in her hand and then stopped when she saw Chloe looking back at her from the door. Tears were welled inside of her big eyes and she looked so sad and scared. Kate hated to see Chloe like this because she was so young and innocent.

The Marshal stood up.

Kate gasped and stepped backwards focusing all of her attention back on him. In her hands she held the cold steel which she wasn't sure if she could hit him with.

"You wouldn't dare." He challenged.

"Jack take Chloe away from the door." Kate said shakily as she started to back away from the Marshal.

"I'm not going to leave you." Jack protested.

"Now Jack!" Kate pleaded.

Jack lingered for a little longer as Kate suspected but then the Marshal turned around to face him.

"If she wants a fight then I can give her one, she's right take the kid and let us handle this like adults,"

Kate stepped back cautiously as the Marshal sneered back at her.

"If you think I'm going to let you get away after all of the crimes you committed then you got another thing coming precious. I'm not leaving without you."

"Then I guess you aren't going to leave at all." Kate threatened as she tried to find the courage within her to swing at him if he came any closer. Images of Jack flashed into her mind. She saw his smile, and then she heard his laugh echoing in her ears. Kate needed him in order to keep her sanity.

The Marshal lunged forward like an animal that had just been released from a cage and grabbed a fistful of air as he tried to wrap his hands around Kate's neck. "I won't miss next time," He warned as he got ready to pounce again.

Kate fell backwards and hit the fireplace. She groaned in agony as her shoulder rammed into the hard bricks. There was no time to recover from the pain because the Marshal took advantage of her brief period of weakness and attacked her. He wrapped his hands around her neck tightly and rammed her against the wall in attempts to make her release the welcome. But Kate held on so tightly that he knuckles were turning a dark shade of scarlet.

"You want to kill me? You want to kill me huh?" He chanted eerily as gripped his hands around Kate's neck tighter. "My orders were to bring you in dead or alive,"

Kate winced as he squeezed his hands around her neck tighter. She saw Jack at the door, and he was yelling something but Kate couldn't hear him. Her vision was starting to grow blurry as she gripped her hands on the fire poker tighter.

Fight or Flight. Fight or Flight.

"He's going to leave you. He doesn't love you." The Marshall leaned in close enough for his lips to almost touch Kate's cheek. "Now he knows what type of woman you are. He's been too blinded by your phony charm up until now. But I'm releasing him and letting him off the hook."

"He loves me…" Kate choked out.

"Like Tom loved you before you killed him?" The Marshall growled.

Kate shivered at the mention of Tom's name. How dare he bring Tom up right now after everything that's happened these last couple of days. How dare he! She raised the fire poker behind his head using the little bit of energy she had left. He was so set on strangling her that he didn't notice.

"He'll see that just because you're pretty on the outside doesn't mean a thing, you're ugly on the inside." The Marshall opened his mouth wide to suck in some oxygen as he continued his assault. "You will not get away this time, you…"

Before he could say another word Kate rammed the steel pole into the back of his head. A primal like scream escaped his lungs as he collapsed onto the floor holding onto the back of his head.

"You can't get away from me, I got you now! You walk out that door and I'll get you." He yelled as he kept his hands firmly planted on the back of his head. His hair was now drenched in blood, and his blood was starting to stain the floor.

Kate stood frozen in shock as she looked down at the fire poker which was still clutched tightly in her hand. She had made him bleed, and she didn't regret it. Maybe she should finish him off here, that way she wouldn't have to run anymore. Kate raised the weapon in her hand. He deserved to die. His only purpose in life was to torment her, and make her realize all of her shortcomings. She didn't want to deal with him anymore. Kate wanted him gone. She wanted to be able to relax for once, and as long as he was around she would never be able to settle down. Every instinct inside of her body told her to finish the job.

"No you're wrong. I will get away from you. I always do." Kate brought the fire poker down. Confused emotions of relief, pleasure and disgust washed over her as she hit him over and over again. Kate knew that she had officially lost her mind, but there was no turning back now. It had to be done. The Marshal had to die.

* * *

Jack turned around to look at Chloe as he ran inside. He had asked her to wait for him out there and thankfully she did. Terror washed over him as he watched Kate beat the Marshal over and over with the fire poker. He was struggling on the ground, and it looked as if he was loosing consciousness.

"Kate stop!" Jack yelled horrified. He ran over to her and wrapped her up in his arms.

"Let me go!" Kate screamed.

Jack was reminded of the time Kate had lost it when they were in Timmy's basement. They couldn't afford for that to happen now because they had to leave. "Kate, we have to go."

"He's going to keep coming after me. I just want to be free…I just want to forget and…" Kate allowed Jack to ease the fire poker out of her hand. And as it fell to the floor Jack realized that no matter how hard he tried he understand Kate he would never be able to, at least not anytime soon. She held so much inside that every traumatic incident only seemed to drive her further and further over the edge.

"I don't want to go to jail," Kate said frantically.

Jack knew that Kate didn't want to go to jail, and a part of him also knew that she didn't want to kill the Marshal either.

Edward started to move around on the floor.

"She'll never be free…" He groaned. "I'm going to get her…turn her in…" He rested his head against the floor and closed his eyes. "Go with her…and I'm coming after you too." He directed to Jack.

Kate tried to pick up the fire poker again but Jack held her tightly in his arms. She wasn't herself and the last thing he wanted was for her to live with another murder on her hands. She collapsed into his arms.

"Kate?" Jack said fearfully.

He picked her up in his arms and ran towards the door. They had to go before the Marshal came back too, and came after them. Jack had no idea where they were going to, but he knew they had to get away.

Chloe looked back at him and then at Kate with tears in her eyes.

Right now Jack didn't know what to do or say. All he could do was run as fast as he could with Kate in his arms and Chloe right behind him. He was in deep and now he was officially a criminal along with Kate. Surely his love for Kate meant enough for him to risk it all, but everyday he worried about her more and more, because Kate's behavior seemed to be growing more and more erratic each day. Jack was terrified for her, because if it wasn't obvious to him before it was now. Behind Kate's smile was some horrible secret that had prevented her from having a normal life. It was more to it than just being a fugitive. There was something deeply wrong with Kate and it crushed him that he had no idea what it was.

* * *

Taylor parked her truck in front of Cecile's house. All the lights were off.

"It looks like she's sleep, how 'bout we leave." Sawyer suggested as he looked around the quiet street for any unwelcome guests.

"We can't," Taylor grabbed her purse. "I'll be back, Jack and Kate need a car."

Sawyer grabbed Taylor by her arm, "I don't want you doin' anything else for us you hear me. Just call Jack and Kate and let them know that he's here and we'll figure out what to do from there. We don't need you anymore."

Taylor looked away. "I came this far without knowing the truth, do you really think I'm going to turn my back on you guys just because I know the truth now?"

Sawyer groaned, "Any normal person would. Look where your caring got you. The second we leave your life ain't gonna fix itself. Everything was good until we came along and fcked it all up."

Taylor opened the door and stepped out, "I don't need to hear this,"

Sawyer refused to let go. The reason he was so angry at Taylor really had nothing to do with her, but it was him. He hated himself for letting it go that far. Taylor and Chloe should've never gotten this involved with them. His jaw tensed at the thought of Chloe. He knew that she had to cry when she was alone. She was just six but yet she had seen more that most people do in a lifetime. And it was all his damn fault. Sawyer looked away in disgust. He didn't want to care, he never did. But no matter how much he fought it. He did care. Fuck, he did care. Sawyer swallowed as he felt his hand grip onto Taylor's arm tighter suddenly not wanting to let her go. He knew that as soon as he left her, her life would be destroyed. And she would be left to pick up the pieces all on her own. Sawyer looked back up, and his heart ached as he saw the tears fall down Taylor's cheeks. He could've killed himself for doing this to her, but he couldn't be selfish now. Sawyer looked away once again with difficulty. He felt as if he could cry. But he refused to shed a tear. Crying showed a weakness that he didn't care to possess. The only time he had really cried was after his parents had died, and he wasn't going to do it again. Because he needed to believe that he was immune to emotion and caring.

Taylor pulled her arm out of Sawyer's grasp. "No matter what, I grew close to all three of you…and I don't care what happened in the past. We can't change it."

"If Kate gets caught then we're all going down." Sawyer commented as he looked down at his hands. He cared about Taylor more than he wanted too.

"I'll be back," Taylor said as she wiped away her tears. She looked around and then walked towards the front door.

Sawyer sat back in the chair. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were fixed on Taylor's petite figure as she made her way through the chilly night air towards the door.

He didn't want to leave her like this, but he had too.

Sawyer clasped his hands together.

Before he had turned into this masochistic shell she had always been there for him, and he had swore that he would do the same for her. But he was Sawyer, and he didn't keep promises. Sawyer closed his eyes, feeling somewhat humane after all, when he realized that he wanted to stay.

* * *

Taylor struggled to contain her emotions as she waited for Cecile to open the door. She knew that it was best if Sawyer left deep down, but a part of her wanted him to stay. Taylor bit her lip as she felt a second wave of tears come over her. If only he knew how happy she had been when she spotted him with Kate and Jack the day their truck had failed on them. She hadn't seen him in six years since the night he came back to town, and then left. Taylor looked down as she tried not to think about it.

Sawyer's charming smile haunted her thoughts.

Taylor shook her head.

His piercing blue eyes invaded her soul she could feel them on her now.

"Please," She whispered under her breath as she tried the door bell once again. Taylor had thought about telling him the truth. A part of her felt that he deserved to know, but then again she didn't want Sawyer to feel trapped. Taylor closed her eyes as the thoughts continued to flow. And even worse she didn't want him to feel obligated to stay. The door opened and Cecile looked back at her in worry. Taylor took in a deep breath as she tried to force all of the thoughts of Sawyer out of her head. Sawyer could never know that Chloe was his daughter.

(Thanks everyone for reviewing last chapter. I promise a break is coming because I know it's been really crazy lately. But Jack, Kate and Sawyer are spliiting up for a little bit. And Jack and Kate are heading to Kentucky, while Sawyer will stay in North Carolina for the time being:)


	18. Saying Goodbye

I don't own "Lost" or the characters used in this story. I also do no not own "Brown Eyed Girl" which belongs to Van Morrison.

**AN**: I just wanted to thank everyone that reviewed last chapter. Your feedback really means a lot to me, and I just want to thank you'll for sticking with this story even when it gets a little crazy.

Chapter 18- Saying Goodbye

3 hours had passed since the Marshal had come, and now he was gone. Kate looked down at Jack's watch which seemed to be begging for her attention. Every second that passed by the damn thing ticked louder and louder and it was driving her crazy. She brought her legs close to her body as she looked around the dark shed. A rake was pressed up against the wall in the right corner and a lawnmower was against the door. Kate bit her lip in worry. Jack wrapped his arms around her and then she rested her head against his chest. Kate was emotionally and physically exhausted and she needed a break from all of this stress. The last couple of days Kate had been living her life in paranoia. She couldn't sleep because every time she closed her eyes she saw Timmy, The Marshal or even Wayne, and she was so tired. Kate winced at the mention of all the people that haunted her. She wiped a tear away from her eye as she felt Jack rest his cheek against her forehead and then plant down a soft kiss. Kate gripped onto his tee-shirt for comfort as she tried to close her eyes. Her stomach was growling and she felt so weak. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the only thing she had eaten in a while was the chocolate cake Jack and Chloe had made for her, and she hadn't even finished that.

"Sawyer and Taylor will be here soon." Jack said.

"But what if he's still out there?" Kate asked worried.

"I'm almost positive that he's gone. I heard him get inside his car and drive towards that direction." Jack said signaling south with his hands. "He would be an idiot to stick around here after breaking in like that."

"But if he suspects that I'm still around here…"

"He can't do much about it. You beat him pretty badly Kate." Jack whispered in Kate's ear so Chloe wouldn't hear him.

Kate looked down. She did give the Marshal a pretty severe beating and the thing about it was that she didn't care. "We have to get out of here,"

"We will," Jack said quietly.

Kate nodded as she rested her head back against Jack's chest. He rested his chin on top of her disheveled chocolate curls and then looked around the darkness as he caressed Kate's shoulder.

"You haven't been taking care of yourself," He said in a worried tone.

"I have,"

"How could I not have notice how bad it was, you fainted back there Kate."

"Jack, please don't lecture me right now." Kate begged.

Jack gave in and closed his mouth. He looked at Chloe who was standing by the door and looking outside through a small crack in the door. "Are you okay?"

Chloe turned towards him, "No,"

Jack clenched his jaw because the tone in Chloe's voice broke his heart. He held out his hand and then when she reached for it he pulled her towards him. "No one's going to hurt you."

"But you're leaving," Chloe said in a quiet voice.

Kate sat up. Jack was unbelievably good with Chloe. She on the other hand wouldn't know what to say.

Jack looked at Kate who was moving away from him and then focused back on Chloe. He wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to say because it was true, they were leaving.

Chloe sat down on the ground and then rested her hands against her cheeks as she looked down. "I don't want you to leave,"

Kate looked away. All of this was almost too much to take. She wanted to stay just to make sure that both Chloe and Taylor were okay, but then again Kate knew that staying would only make matters worse. Kate bit the inside of her cheek as she watched Chloe wipe away a tear with her balled fist.

As Kate expected Jack went over to Chloe to comfort her. Jack's attempts only seemed to upset the child even more.

Kate wrapped her arms around her body, as a feeling of sadness started to overcome her. Her heart beat weakly at the sight of Jack holding the little girl in his arms. Chloe looked at Kate through tear filled eyes.

"What if something happens?" She cried quietly into Jack's shirt.

"You don't have to worry about us, because we'll be okay."

"No, if I don't see you everyday then I will worry." Chloe cried harder.

Kate stood up and turned away from the sight in front of her. She closed her eyes, and tried to shake the image, but the only thing Kate saw was Chloe witnessing Timmy getting shot. Her eyes opened quickly and then she placed her hands over her mouth. Kate swallowed hard at the troubling thought. There was no way Chloe would be able to sleep without having nightmares, if Kate couldn't. Kate bit her lip as she turned around to look at them. She sniffled as she felt a sob starting to come. God, she didn't want to leave them behind. Kate tilted her head to the side as she tried to get herself together. Chloe was such an amazing child, she was smart, sweet, and so innocent. Kate wiped a tear away from her eye. Well at least Chloe used to be innocent until her innocence was taken away from her when they came along. Kate looked up towards the ceiling as the air in the shed suddenly started to grow thick.

"Who will watch after you?" Chloe asked.

"I promise Chloe, that we'll be okay," Jack reassured her as best he could.

Chloe pulled away.

Jack smiled back at her, and tried to signal truth in his warm hazel eyes. He used his thumb to wipe away the child's tears. Unfortunately it didn't help that he was crying as well. He had wanted kids all his life, and there was something about being with Chloe that forced this parental instinct out of him that he didn't know he possessed. She needed reassurance because she was scared, and Jack wanted to be there, but it killed him that after tonight he might never see her again. He drew in a mouthful of air as he looked down at the cold cement underneath his feet.

"I'm going to miss you," Chloe said as she wiped away her tears that kept on falling.

"I'll miss you too,"

Chloe looked down with quivering lips, "Will you come back to…" She wiped away some more tears, "Will you come back to visit us?"

Jack nodded, even though he had a feeling that they would never be able to come back. He hated himself for having to lie to Chloe, but unfortunately there was no other choice.

"You don't have to lie to me," She said in a small voice as she backed away from Jack.

"I'm not lying to you," Jack said placing his hand against her cheek which was rosy from the cold weather outside. "I promise we'll come back."

Chloe nodded. "It's going to be so much scarier without you here,"

Jack looked back at her in concern.

"I get so scared at night that he'll try and come back." Chloe sat down next to Jack. "I get so scared because mommy and I will be alone, and anyone can hurt us now."

Kate went over to Jack and Chloe in tears. She felt herself starting to get a headache from all of the crying but she couldn't help it. "No, he's dead."

Chloe shook her head, "No he's not."

Kate dropped down onto her knees and then placed a hand on Chloe's back. She knew that Chloe had been scared inside all of the time but she had been so good at hiding it until now. "Listen sweetie, that man is dead."

"Every time I close my eyes I see him, and I'm so scared." Chloe placed her hands over her eyes and then looked away in sadness. "I felt safe when you guys were here, because it felt as if nothing else would come. Jack, you're so nice, and whenever I'm scared you're right there," Chloe said as she looked back at Jack with tears streaming down her face. "You always knew how to make me feel better."

Jack wiped at the moist tears on his face. Chloe was so mature that he sometimes forgot how young and vulnerable she was, but it was clearer to him now more than ever.

"And Kate…" Chloe pulled at her pajamas as she tried to stop crying. "I stopped playing with my barbies when you came along." Chloe forced a smile, "Because they don't talk back at tea parties…and none of them are as pretty, and kind as you."

Kate's mouth dropped open in disbelief. It amazed her that Chloe still thought so highly of her after witnessing what she had done to the Marshal. Kate had to look away as Chloe started to cry again. This was like some horrible nightmare that Kate couldn't wake up from. How could she take Jack and Sawyer away from Chloe, and Taylor. How could she after they had been through so much. Kate stood up, and then walked towards the door.

"Kate," Jack called.

Kate turned around slowly as one hand slowly pushed open the door. "Stay here Jack, they need you more than I do."

"Kate," Jack tried to reason.

Kate bit her lip. "I can't take you away from Chloe. Look at her, she's so scared, and she needs you." Kate looked up as she wiped away the last of her tears from her eyes. "After everything that she's been through you can't leave her. She's just a child Jack, and she's already dealt with so much."

Chloe quickly tried to get herself together once again, but her attempts weren't working.

Jack rubbed Chloe's back as he tried to comfort her.

"I'm okay," She said in a small voice.

Kate glanced outside for the Marshal in fear and once her search turned up empty she stepped outside nervously.

"Kate!" Jack yelled.

"Jack," Kate said with a sigh. "He's gone, I'm going to go inside and get changed…and then I'm going to leave, but I have to go on my own."

Before Jack could say anything else Kate had closed the door behind her.

"You can't let her," Chloe replied.

"I know, but you never told me all of this, Chloe, why didn't you tell me how scared you were."

Chloe looked down, "I didn't want to worry you, because you needed to take care of Kate." She bit her lip, "I thought it was mean of me to take away your time with Kate."

Jack shook his head, "No,"

* * *

Kate ran back into the house. She had to be crazy for going back inside, but she had to grab some cash and at least a pair of clothes before she could set out on her own. She got a sour taste in her mouth at the thought of being all alone. Kate clenched her jaw as she quickly stepped around the Marshal's blood which now stained Taylor's once clean floor. She had to be fast because knowing the Marshal, he would probably get some stitches and then come straight back. Kate pushed open the door to the bedroom she used to share Jack. Her eyebrows furrowed low over her puffy eyes at the scent of Jack's cologne which lingered in the room. Kate grabbed the suitcase that Jack had started to pack and then quickly zipped it up. Once she had it in her hands, she made a beeline straight towards the door. Jack stepped in with Chloe right behind him. 

She looked down. Jack had been like a father figure to Chloe, and now that she thought about it so had Sawyer. Kate knew that she couldn't take them away from Chloe, no matter how much she was in love with Jack, she couldn't be selfish this time. "You don't need to follow me,"

Jack looked down at his ring on Kate's finger.

"Kate, Jack's going with you." Chloe said looking down at the carpet with wide eyes and then looking away.

Kate's heart beat weakly.

"I'll be fine, I'm sorry for crying." Chloe whispered. "I know you have to go, and I understand."

Chloe let go of Jack's hand and then walked over to Kate with her dirty blonde curls bouncing behind her with each step. She reached for Kate's hand and then led her towards Jack. Kate looked down in confusion as Chloe reached for Jack's hand as well, and then brought both Jack and Kate's hands together. "It'll make me sadder if I know that you two aren't together."

Kate dropped the suitcase in her hand and then placed it down on the ground. "I can take care of myself,"

Jack knew that Kate couldn't take care of herself at least not lately. They had all been through so much and he knew that she needed him there for her.

A car pulled into the driveway followed by another.

"Oh god," Kate said quickly stepping inside.

Jack sighed in relief when he realized that it was just Taylor, but he wasn't sure who was in the other car. He raised an eyebrow in confusion until he realized that it was only Sawyer. Where did he get that car from?

Kate knew that it was time for the moment that she had been dreading. They couldn't just sit around and wait for the Marshal to come back, it was time to say goodbye. She sighed as she watched Taylor turn off her car and then run towards them.

"You guys have to leave!" She said urgently.

"We know," Jack replied with a small nod, and a guilty tone. If only he could have the comfort of knowing that Taylor and Chloe would be able to pull their lives back together after they left.

Taylor stepped inside and then she placed her hand to her mouth when she saw the trail of blood on her floor. She stared for a while in shock until she snapped out of it. "Wh…" Taylor stepped aside as Sawyer came in right after her. "What happened?"

"He was here," Kate said looking at Sawyer who automatically knew who she was talking about.

"Where did he go?" Sawyer asked with wide eyes.

"Probably to the hospital, because I kind of attacked him." Kate said in a whisper.

Jack wrapped his arm around Kate's lower waist. "I attacked him…Kate you don't have to lie for me."

Kate looked back at Jack in confusion.

Jack ignored the awkward look that Kate was giving him. He had lied because he knew how guilty Kate felt already about leaving, and he wanted to take some of the pressure off of her anyway he could.

"Cecile is allowing you guys to use her husbands car, ya'll should leave before it's too late," Taylor sighed as she walked over to Chloe. She placed her hands on her daughter's shoulders and then looked back at Jack, Kate and Sawyer sadly.

"Taylor, I don't think I can tell you how much we appreciated you opening up your house to us." Jack felt as if he could mentally kick himself for the inappropriate thank you speech but he didn't know what else to say.

Taylor nodded.

Sawyer placed his hand on Kate's shoulder, "You okay?"

Kate had to look at him twice, because for a second he sounded like Jack asking her that. She managed to get out a weak "yes" and then ask him the same.

"One bullet isn't gonna to take me down, so don't worry about me." He placed his hand to his chest, "Apparently Mr. Psycho had bad aim."

Jack turned around to look outside. He didn't want to leave, but they had to. "Taylor thanks again."

"You're welcome Jack," Taylor brought her hand right beneath her eye and the wiped away a stray tear. "At least let me give you guys some food to travel with,"

As Taylor quickly turned around to head into the kitchen Sawyer followed after her.

He wasn't sure what to say but he knew that he needed to leave her with more than just a goodbye. She quickly brushed past him muttering a sorry as she reached in the cabinet for a bag of chips. Sawyer clenched his jaw as she closed the cabinet and then moved around him to take a 12 pack of cherry cokes from below the bakers rack.

"Hey," He said.

Taylor leaned forward pressing her hands against the table. Sawyer could see that her arms were shaking, but he couldn't read her expression because her hair was covering her face.

Sawyer turned around. Maybe he should just leave it at goodbye. Why should he lie and tell her that he was going to coming back again when he knew that he wasn't.

* * *

_It was a hot day in Tennessee, one of those days when Sawyer preferred to drive around without a shirt. He had a cowboy hat on top his head which he had stolen from the mart just because it had been laying around. Sawyer smiled to himself as he pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. It felt good to be back in the south, even if it was back in Tennessee where he had more bad memories than good. He beeped his horn loudly as he drove past some attractive looking women with their shirts tied in a knot around their upper chest revealing their slims waists and short skirts. As he passed them he grinned, that was one thing he loved about the heat, women got naked easier. Sawyer chuckled to himself as he turned up the radio. He reached beside him for a bottle of Jack Daniels and took a sip, he paused when a familiar song came on. A smile tugged at the edge of his lips as he turned up the volume with his other hand._

_"Well shit," He said with a laugh. Sawyer placed the open bottle of Jack Daniel's between his legs and then tapped along with the beat on the steering wheel. The song that was now filling his rented car was "Brown-Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison._

_Sawyer tilted the cowboy hat low over his face as he bobbed his head along with the beat._

_"Looking for a good time sexy!" Some random girl screamed at him._

_Sawyer ignored the woman because he was currently preoccupied with another woman at the time or at least thoughts of her. Sawyer decided that he was going to stop by and see if she still lived in her parent's old house, which he was almost positive that she did. He pulled off the hat quickly and then checked his hair._

_Sawyer chuckled, "Looking sharp Ford," He shook his head as he pulled back on the hat. Sawyer knew that she wasn't in to alcohol so he rummaged around in his jean pockets for a piece of gum, once he found one he popped it into his mouth. Sawyer turned into the driveway of the small house minutes later. There was nothing outwardly special about the one story house, but she had managed to fix it up real nice to make it look like something. An assortment of flowers was sprouting up from the ground and bees were buzzing around them playfully. Sawyer wasn't sure if she was home so he went back to the truck. He turned up the radio as loud as it could go. If Taylor was here then she would come out, because Sawyer knew that "Brown Eyed Girl" was her favorite song._

_When he didn't see her, he started to walk around to the back of the house. Sawyer spotted her a little ways away from the house sitting in a chair amongst a field of grass and painting the scenic setting of mountains behind a flowing creek. She turned around once she heard the music blasting._

_Sawyer felt like a jackass walking towards her without a shirt and a cowboy hat, but if she found that sexy then he wouldn't feel as much of an ass. He paused and then titled the hat in her direction. _

_Her mouth dropped open._

_At first Sawyer couldn't tell whether she was shocked or excited to see him, or maybe it was both, he couldn't be too sure. But it became obvious to him the second she jumped up._

_"Sawyer!" She screamed._

_He smiled to himself. His heart was beating like some lovesick fool because he had missed this girl so much. Sawyer looked down in order to hide his cheeks which were probably an embarrassing shade of red, and the dumbass grin on his face that made him feel like a goof. Why did Taylor always have this effect on him? Sawyer looked back up, and watched as Taylor ran towards him. She looked exactly the same as he had last seen her._

_Taylor ran towards him with her golden hair flying wildly around her angelic face, and the long brown skirt she wore flowing gracefully around her legs. He didn't know that she had missed him this much. Seconds later she was in his arms._

_Sawyer nearly fell backwards as she crashed into him. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck in a life squeezing embrace and her soft hair was now pressed against his cheek. His stomach rose slowly against her own as he held her. "Boy, didn't know ya missed me that much,"_

_Taylor beamed back at him as she wiped her hands on his arms._

_"Sorry I'm all sweaty it's like a damn desert out here with this heat."_

_Taylor smiled, "I thought I was hallucinating when I saw you coming up here without a shirt and that cowboy hat," She said as she traced her hand along the edge of his hat._

_"I got it for a five finger discount down at the mart,"_

_"Some things never change…and…" She placed her hand back on his shoulder as she realized that "Brown Eyed Girl" was blasting from the cars stereo. "I love that song!"_

_"I was drivin' down the road and it came on, and damn if I wasn't about to drive past your house until I heard it."_

_"So it made you stop and decide to say hi to me?" Taylor asked tilting her head to the side cutely._

_Sawyer shoved his hands in his jean pockets as he looked around nonchalantly. "I thought I could stop by and pick up some of your southern cookin' before I got back on the road."_

_Taylor grinned, "Well I'm glad you stopped by, look at you Sawyer!"_

_"What?"_

_"You look good!"_

_Sawyer shook his head, "No I think you got us confused baby."_

_Taylor nodded as she examined Sawyer's toned body. "You look great, you really do. So what brings you back to Tennessee during this drought?"_

_"Some business I had to take care of."_

_Taylor reached for Sawyer's hand, "Well come on inside! I'm sure you're hungry. I can imagine what you've been living off of since last time I saw you."_

_"Beer and porkrinds." Sawyer answered._

_Taylor laughed. "So what else have you been up to?"_

_Sawyer quickly turned off the car, leaving his keys still hanging from the ignition. Afterwards he closed the door and then followed Taylor inside. Her house was immaculately clean, but he didn't expect it to be any other way because he had always thought she would be the perfect wife. Not his wife, but a perfect wife to another man. Sawyer scowled. Okay maybe he didn't like the thought of her marrying another man. But then again he knew that he was never getting married. As soon as he entered the kitchen he was hit with the smell of fried chicken. Sawyer smiled in satisfaction as he sat down. He kicked off his boots and then leaned against the table. _

_"I've been in the north a little too long, and I've missed your cookin." _

_Taylor turned around. "Of course you did."_

_"And I missed you too."_

_Taylor laughed, "You didn't miss me," _

_Sawyer's blue eyes widened in excitement as Taylor pulled out a pitcher of her Iced-Tea from the fridge. She made the best iced-tea he had tasted around these parts._

_"I think you like my iced tea more than me." She commented with an innocent smile._

_"Maybe," Sawyer replied back in his slow southern drawl. "So you tell me what exactly have you been up to Sunshine?"_

_"Well, thank God I'm finished with school now and I'm working at a hospital not to far from here. And you?"_

_"Same ol', same ol"_

_"What's that?"_

_Sawyer accepted the mug that Taylor handed to him and then he took a sip. "If I told you, then I might have to kill ya,"_

_Taylor raised an eyebrow back at Sawyer, "Hmm…then don't tell me."_

_"So why don't you tell me why you were so happy to see me?"_

_"I missed you that's all."_

_It felt good to be missed Sawyer had to admit that. "Also I got a little something for you, but I'll give that to you later,"_

_"When are you leaving?" Taylor asked quietly._

_Sawyer smirked, "You ready to see me go already?"_

_"No, I just…" Taylor shook her head and then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're welcome to stay as long as you want."_

_Sawyer would take her up on that offer if he could, but he had business he had to handle, and money he needed to make. Taylor was a nice girl, and he cared about her more than any other woman he knew, but she was too good for him. _

_"Cornbread or rolls?" She asked._

_Sawyer snapped out of his thoughts, "As long as it has butter on it does it really matter Sunshine?"_

_Taylor laughed, "I guess not,"_

* * *

"We have to get you something to eat," Jack replied in a caring tone. 

Now that everything seemed a little calmer Kate could admit that she was exhausted. She gripped onto Jack's shirt as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "I think Sawyer might stay,"

"What?" Kate asked.

"I can tell by the look on his face that he feels the same way as we do. He doesn't want to leave them behind."

Kate looked down in trouble. "But how will Sawyer's staying behind help them?"

Jack looked back at Kate in concern as she leaned away from him. "They need to feel safe. After everything that's happened I'm sure a male presence would ease some of their worries."

"But Sawyer can barely take care of himself." Kate reasoned as she searched Jack's eyes in fear.

"Kate…" Jack started.

"What if tries to…" Kate stopped when she realized that Jack still had no idea about Sawyer's near suicide attempt.

"He'll be fine. Sawyer will have Taylor to lean on if he does decide to stay, and she'll have him."

Kate looked away, "I just feel like I should be there,"

"Kate if he does decide t stay then you can't." Jack pointed out as he cupped Kate's face in his hands.

"I know," Kate murmured.

"I'm sure if Sawyer does stay then he'll come back to join us after he makes sure that Chloe and Taylor are okay. I think Sawyer is stronger than he plays off."

"Jack, I don't think so." Kate reached for Jack's hands. "I know he should stay, but. I care about him."

Jack looked down.

"I care about him, but I'm not in love with him. Sawyer is like family to me, and I don't think I could forgive myself if something happened to him."

Jack raised an eyebrow, "Forgive yourself?"

Kate closed her eyes and then breathed in the frigid air around her. "We should get going before the Marshal comes back." She took a step towards the house, but then she started to feel lightheaded.

"Woah," Jack quickly caught Kate in his arms.

Kate placed her hand to her forehead and then allowed Jack to steady her back on her feet.

"You also need a good sleep,"

Kate doubted that she would be able to get that, at least not for the next couple of nights. "Thanks Jack,"

"For what?" He asked softly as he looked up and down the highway.

"For holding me up," Kate whispered as she wrapped her arm tighter around his shoulders.

"That goes with the description,"

"Of what?" Kate asked as she tried to ignore the severe paranoia that was telling her the Marshal would be back any second.

"It goes with the description of being your fiancé." Jack replied with a smile.

For a second Kate's sadness was replaced with a brief feeling of joy, that was right, she was his fiancé. Over the last couple of days she had been so tormented that she hadn't been able to think about the happy moments that she and Jack had shared together recently. Like him proposing to her on top of the lighthouse. Kate's cheeks flushed with warmth as she grabbed on to him tighter. "If Sawyer does stay then just promise me you won't make me go alone."

"No, I'm going with you," Jack said as he helped Kate up the stairs and then opened the door so she could step inside first. "You can tell me to leave you alone as much as you want, but I'm going to be a pest. I'll go crazy with worry if I let you leave by yourself,"

"Jack and Kate," Chloe said as she came into the den with them.

Jack looked down at her sadly. "Yeah,"

"I wanted to give you something so I wouldn't have to worry as much." She opened her palms and then handed Jack a necklace with an angel hanging from it.

Jack gently took the necklace from her, "Thanks Chloe,"

"Whenever I'm sad she always cheers me up, and also makes me feel safe. I asked her to do the same for you."

"Chloe we can't take her," Jack said kindly.

"It's okay…because my angel knows that she has to protect my new family." Chloe reached for Jack's hand and then closed it over the angel necklace, "She won't let anything hurt you, just keep her safe for me."

* * *

Taylor handed Sawyer a grocery bag filled with snacks. "This is for the road, I figured I could help out a little more, and here…" She then handed him the 12 pack of cherry cokes, "Those are for the road too." 

Sawyer looked into the bag. The first thing he noticed was a bag of porkrinds, he was tempted to ask her where was the beer, but he held his tongue. As usual during times of uncertainty he felt the need to go into joke mode, but he knew that now wasn't the right time. Sawyer cleared his throat as he tried to figure out how he was going to say goodbye to her. He wanted to hug her, but he was scared that if he got to close then she would see right through him, and realize how much it pained him to leave behind both her and Chloe. Ultimately he decided that he would just say goodbye, Sawyer opened his mouth but before the words could spill out an alarm/radio which was sitting on the counter turned on by itself. Sawyer raised an eyebrow in confusion and then stepped back when he realized that the song that was now playing was "Brown Eyed Girl"

Taylor turned towards him looking equally confused but she didn't say a word.

* * *

_After dinner Sawyer had spent at least two hours mowing the lawn for Taylor. She had told him over and over that he was her guest so he should relax, but Sawyer wasn't feeling too lazy so he took the job. Ironically it took him longer to finish because he stopped frequently for alcohol breaks, after all he had a full bottle of Jack Daniels in the car calling out for him. By the time he was finished Sawyer was drunk, it had to be the heat, but he wasn't entirely sure why he had succumbed to the alcohol so quickly. As he stepped back inside Sawyer looked up at the sky, the blazing sun was now starting to disappear behind a mass of clouds and the sky was starting to turn gray. Sawyer smirked, it looked like it was going to rain._

_"You took a really long time," Taylor said with a smile._

_Sawyer looked at his chest and then at his arms which now boasted a nice tan. "It looks like it's going to rain,"_

_Taylor turned around to glance out the window. "Well look at that. We've been in a drought this whole month but as soon as you show up, it decides to rain."_

_Sawyer chuckled as he walked towards the back of the house. "I guess I'm good for something then." _

_"You're not leaving now are you?" Taylor called from the den._

_Sawyer shook his head as he opened her room door. He needed a shower. At first he had planned on leaving that same day, but not only was he drunk enough to drive off a bridge without knowing it, but he also wanted to spend some more time with Taylor. He missed her so much. Sawyer glanced towards the bathroom, but something else caught his eye he spotted a stack of white envelopes that looked familiar. He picked up the first one and then opened it. He placed it back down when he realized that it was the cash that he had been sending Taylor the last couple of months. Why wasn't she using it? He had a lot of money from all of the cons that he had done recently and he wanted to help her out. Sawyer sighed as he looked around the room. But then again what did he expect? Taylor never cared much about money, and not to mention she had always been independent. _

_He felt a headache start to come on. Sawyer rubbed his temples as he leafed through Taylor's CD collection, as he suspected Van Morrison was on top. Since Sawyer was feeling somewhat in a playful mood probably due to the alcohol and the arid heat, he pulled out the CD and then located a stereo close by. _

_A couple of seconds later "Brown Eyed Girl" was turned up to the max. He didn't care anymore if he made an ass out of himself, he just wanted to be able to enjoy this last day with Taylor because he doubted that he would ever see her again._

_"Sawyer? What on earth?" Taylor called from the den._

_Sawyer grabbed his stolen cowboy hat on her bed and then walked out into the den. "You wanna little show?"_

_Taylor turned away, "Show? What kind of show…I'm almost scared to ask."_

_Sawyer grinned, "Just so you know, I'm a little tipsy right now." He held up his hand to show Taylor, "Just a little bit."_

_She laughed._

_"So I'm leavin you tomorrow, but I got one little problem."_

_"And what's that?"_

_"I don't wanna go…because…" Sawyer started to tap his foot along with the beat and then started to bob his head._

_"I think you're more than just tipsy!" She exclaimed._

_"You embarrassed yet!" Sawyer yelled._

_"Not yet…"_

_Sawyer tilted his head to the side and then smiled charmingly flashing his dimples. "Gimmie a microphone,"_

_"What?" Taylor asked confused._

_"Oh shit, you gonna make me miss the chorus," He reached out for Taylor's hand and then pulled her close to him. "Let me use your hand."_

_"I can smell the alcohol on your breath so strong…"_

_"Hey where did we go, Days when the rains came. Down in the hollow, Playin' a new game," Sawyer sang off tune._

_Taylor placed her hand to her face in order to hide her smile as Sawyer continued to sing. "If it's not the alcohol then it's the heat getting to you."_

_"Ya think." Sawyer said as he brought Taylor's hand to his mouth and then planted down a soft kiss. "Our hearts a thumpin' and you My brown eyed girl, You my brown eyed girl." Sawyer sung. _

_"I have blue eyes, you must be singing to another woman."_

_Sawyer shook his head, "I'm talkin' about you." As he started to sing again he brought his lips closer to Taylor's. "My brown eyed girl," He finished._

_Taylor smiled back at him, "What would you do if anyone found out about this?"_

_"I'm too drunk to care right now," He then rested his head against Taylor's and then wrapped his arms around her waist. "Did you want a little dance to go along with the song?"_

_"Sawyer…" Taylor started._

_Sawyer let go of Taylor and then started to stumble around the place drunkenly. He pulled off his cowboy hat and then tossed it in Taylor's direction. "How is that for sexy baby?"_

_Taylor placed her hands to her cheeks, "You should relax before you hurt yourself,"_

_As Sawyer continued to dance around the house crazily, rain started to pour from the heavens above._

_Taylor gasped and then looked outside. Sure enough rain was pouring down steadily onto the thirsty Tennessee landscape. Sawyer stopped and then placed his arm against the wall in order to stop the world from spinning. He watched as Taylor ran outside with a squeal of excitement._

_Sawyer smirked to himself. Maybe he would be embarrassed in the morning, but he wasn't right now. He walked towards the door slowly and then watched with a smile as Taylor pulled up the windows to his car. She joined him back at the door. "Here's your keys,"_

_Sawyer grabbed her arm and then gently caressed her skin with his thumb. "I have to leave tomorrow,"_

_"I know," Taylor said looking away sadly._

_Sawyer pulled her inside and then closed the door as the rain started to beat heavier against the porch. "I didn't realize just how much I missed you until now."_

_Taylor pushed back Sawyer's bangs and then checked his forehead for any signs of a fever. "Now I think you're sick,"_

_"Why?" He asked taking her hand and placing it against his chest._

_Taylor shivered, "Because you've never talked to me like that, or any woman for that matter."_

_Sawyer leaned forward to silence Taylor with a soft but yet passionate kiss. "And if I told you I loved you could I blame that on the fever too."_

_Taylor closed her eyes as she rested her forehead against his. "If you told me that you loved me, I don't think I would believe you."_

_"You should," Sawyer walked Taylor towards the couch and then trailed kisses across her forehead and then down her face. Her nose was small and beautiful and her cheeks were damp with the taste of rain that hadn't fallen in days. He felt his heart beat weakly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Sawyer found Taylor's lips again. He knew this wasn't right. How could he sleep with her, and then leave her the next day. Sawyer clenched his jaw as he felt his body start to react to feeling her so close to him. She was different from all of the other women he slept with. There was something so pure and innocent about her that he didn't want to tarnish._

_"If I told you that I loved you then would you believe me?" Taylor asked._

_"As far as I know you have never told a lie to me."_

_"Then now you know," Taylor traced her hand along Sawyer's strong jaw, "I've dated other guys since you left, but none of them have compared to you,"_

_Sawyer tried to lean away from Taylor's kisses, but he couldn't because whenever their lips touched he got this feeling as if he could change his life around, and maybe be something someday. The thought alone scared him, but as long as he stayed in this embrace with Taylor, it all seemed so possible._

_They both fell to the floor. But Sawyer knew that he wasn't going to force Taylor to do anything that she didn't want to, if she was another girl then sure, but not her._

_"Do you want to…" Sawyer had to bite his tongue because he didn't recognize the words coming out of his mouth._

_"Yes," She said and then cupped Sawyer's face in her hands. As she kissed him his lungs filled with her oxygen leaving him feeling weak and craving more._

_For the first time Sawyer felt as if he wasn't in control of the woman, but instead as if the woman was in control of him. _

* * *

Sawyer turned off the radio. "I um…" 

Kate and Jack stepped into the kitchen with Sawyer and Taylor.

Sawyer scratched his head as he contemplated his decision to stay. What was he thinking? How could he expect to help out Taylor and Chloe if he did decide to stay?

"Bye Kate and Jack," Taylor said giving them both warm hugs.

"We'll keep in touch," Jack promised.

"I'd appreciate that," Taylor responded back as she wrapped her arms around her body.

"Sawyer are you coming with us?" Jack asked.

Sawyer snapped back into reality. He clenched his jaw as he finally made a decision. "I'm going to stay,"

Taylor turned to Sawyer in shock, "What?"

Sawyer looked at Kate, "For now I'm going to stay. I can't leave at least not yet."

Kate looked down in understanding no matter how difficult it was to accept Sawyer's decision.

"If you'll let me stay," Sawyer added in Taylor's direction.

She nodded. "You're always welcome to stay here Sawyer, you know that."

Chloe came in behind Jack and Kate and then looked at Sawyer hopefully, "Are you staying with us?"

Sawyer tore his eyes away from Kate who looked really saddened by his decision. "Yeah, I'm going to stay,"

Chloe smiled back at him.

Sawyer didn't like feeling this way. Like people actually wanted him around, it was all very odd and new for him at the same time.

"We should get going then," Jack hugged Chloe. "Thanks for the…angel."

"You're welcome," Chloe said back.

Jack went to Sawyer next. "Take care," He held out his hand to give him a handshake.

Sawyer hesitated and then shook Jack's hand, he came closer as if he was going to hug Jack, but then he whispered, "Take care of Kate, even though I know you will I just thought I should say it."

Jack nodded in surprise. "I will, you just take care of yourself okay." He patted Sawyer on the back and then stepped back.

Sawyer looked down but didn't say anything else. He stepped aside Jack and then went over to Kate. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Kate agreed and stepped out into the den with him. "So um…what did you want to talk about?"

Sawyer looked down at his shoes, "It's not easy for me to do this,"

Kate bit her lip in order to keep it from quivering. "I'm worried that if we leave you here…" Kate shook her head and then turned her back towards Sawyer.

"I can't leave them here alone."

"I know, but who's going to look out for you."

"I can look out for myself."

"No." Kate turned back around to face Sawyer with tears in her eyes. "No you can't, I don't think you understand how much we care about you."

"Kate," Sawyer said feeling extremely awkward.

"Just promise me that you'll take care of yourself,"

"Don't worry about me."

"Sawyer," Kate pulled him into a hug.

Sawyer was hesitant to wrap his arms around her until she whispered "goodbye" in his ear. "What are you trying to do to me?"

Kate pulled back as soon as Jack stepped out.

"It's okay," Jack said giving Kate an understanding nod as he walked towards the car Cecile had lent them.

"I guess he's in a good mood," Sawyer added.

Kate wiped away a tear, "You gave him a hug,"

"I didn't hug that man."

Kate took in a deep breath as she pulled away , "I'm going to be calling you as much as possible."

"Why,"

"Because I'm going to miss you so much Sawyer." Kate said as she placed her hand on Sawyer's arm. Kate blinked away the tears at the thought of never seeing him again. Why did she have this horrible feeling that he would die before she saw him again. Kate placed her hand over her mouth as she felt the tears coming on again.

Sawyer stood there like a robot for a couple of seconds unable to decide what to do until he finally gave in. He pushed his tough image aside and hugged Kate back tightly. "I'll be fine,"

Kate buried her face in Sawyer's shirt. "What am I going to do without you?"

Sawyer clenched his jaw as he looked down at Kate with difficulty, "You got Jack, you'll be fine."

Kate leaned away from him as she tried to force a smile onto her face. "I guess I should go, before the Marshal comes back looking for me."

"Bye Kate," Sawyer said stepping away from her with his eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes in concern.

Kate waved at him as she stepped off the porch slowly. Taylor and Chloe stepped behind Sawyer and watched as Kate walked towards the car with Jack. Kate felt as if she was leaving a piece of her heart in North Carolina but there was nothing she could do about that.

Jack leaned across the seat to open the door for Kate. She got in and then closed the door behind her.

"I know we'll see him again."

Kate nodded, "I hope so."

"Take a deep breath," Jack said as he beeped the horn before he pulled out of the driveway.

Kate took in a mouthful of air. "It'll be okay won't it?"

Jack reached for Kate's hand after switching the gear back into drive. "It will, because I'm going to take care of you."

Kate watched as Jack placed Chloe's necklace around the rearview mirror, and then turned back towards the window. She placed her hand against the window as she watched Sawyer, Taylor and Chloe grow smaller and smaller as the car traveled farther down the road.

Kate could feel disgusted with herself for crying so much later, but now she just wanted to cry. She leaned forward and placed her hand against her face as sobs spilled out of her mouth. Jack rubbed her back soothingly, but she couldn't be calmed down at least not now. Because Kate felt as if she had just lost Tom again, because Sawyer was part of her family, and she didn't have the safety of knowing that she would see his smile or hear his laugh ever again.


	19. Some Hearts

**AN**: Thanks Kristen, Angel and everyone that reviewed last chapter. This is the last one before school starts back up, so I'm not sure when is the next time I will be able to update but hopefully it will be sometime next week. Since the mood has been so heavy the last couple of chapters this one is all about Jack & Kate and then making up for some lost time. Fluff alert, and this chapter is rated PG-13/R for mature themes:)

Chapter 19- Some Hearts

Kate slowly opened her eyes. She looked around in confusion, because she didn't recognize this room. Pictures of waterfalls, and beautiful mountainside landscapes were adorned on the walls, and a table sat next to a window with the shades drawn. Kate sat up in puzzlement and then placed her hand to her disheveled hair. A yawn escaped before she could clamp her hands over her mouth. How did she get here? The last thing she remembered was driving in the car with Jack. Kate's eyes widened suddenly at the thought of Jack. She looked around the room once more. Kate pulled the covers back and then stepped onto the soft maroon carpet beneath her feet, and then placed her hands on her hips as she looked around.

"Jack?" Kate called out as she took a step forward. Her foot came in contact with Jack's boxers which were folded on the floor along with a pair of jeans and a sweater. A smile crossed her face as she bent down to pick up his clothes. She must've knocked them down while she was sleeping. As Kate placed down his clothes on the satin comforter, Jack stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. A smile crossed Kate's face, because she couldn't explain it, but she felt so much better than she did yesterday.

"You're smiling," Jack replied in awe.

Kate nodded and then looked down as she tucked a loose curl behind her ear. "I feel a lot better than I did yesterday. Where are we?"

Jack walked closer to Kate. "This place is called Lake Lure, we're still in North Carolina, but I thought we should stop here for a couple of nights."

"A couple of nights?"

Jack nodded, "A blizzard is headed this way and the last thing we need is to get stuck in it." He sat down on the edge of the bed and then reached for his boxers first. "How did you sleep babe?"

Kate smiled, "Babe?"

Jack grinned, "I'm just happy to see you smile that's all." He patted the spot on the bed next to him. "I was worried I would have to do something embarrassing to see that smile again."

Kate wrapped her arms around her body. "And I knew you would, that's why I realized I needed to get my act together."

Jack bit his lip. "You have every reason to feel the way you did after…"

Kate sat down in Jack's lap and then wrapped her arm loosely around his neck which was still wet from his shower. She smiled in satisfaction as Jack closed his mouth. His hazel eyes were more vibrant than usual and his face glowed with a red undertone. Kate leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. "I just wanted to say thank you again."

"For what?" Jack asked softly.

Kate smiled at the feel of Jack's breath brushing across her lips. At that moment she realized that it seemed like years since she had last kissed him. Her other hand slid down his chest, and then Kate gave his firm abs a pat. "You know what."

"What?" Jack asked as he leaned away from Kate so he could look into her emerald saucers.

"I don't want to cry anymore, do you know how much I hate crying?" Kate said turning her body around so her legs were now pinning Jack against the bed and her body was against his.

Jack grinned, "Compromising position we're in."

"Do you mind?" Kate asked running her hand through Jack's dark brown hair which was starting to grow out, and then tracing her hand along his soft lips. Kate tilted her head to the side as she cupped Jack's chin in her hands. "I don't even remember walking into this place."

"Because you didn't," Jack said as he rested his head against Kate's shoulder.

Kate smiled as she kissed his earlobe. "Then how did I get in here? Did you carry me?"

"Yeah,"

Kate laughed.

Jack stared back at her in amazement. "Are you really okay, or are you just playing with me."

"Well, I'm feeling better lets just put it that way, and besides you worry about me so much you never get to take care of yourself." Kate pushed Jack backwards. As he fell against the bed Kate reached for his hands and then pinned them behind his head. "Maybe I just needed to get away from that atmosphere,"

"Me too," Jack whispered.

Kate kissed his nose. "I feel so safe with you here, and…" Kate planted another kiss down on his cheek and then against the edge of his lips. Her eyelids closed, and then opened as she fought the urge to pull off his towel. She needed to talk to Jack first, and let him know how much she appreciated him for sticking with her through all of this. "I was worried about Sawyer more than anything before I left."  
"I know," Jack said as he looked at Kate's lips.

"But you know what I realized. Taylor cares about Sawyer as much as I do, and she'll watch over him. They can be there for each other, and Chloe, she loves Sawyer so much as well."

"Chloe seems to bring out the best in him."

Kate smiled in thought. "You were so good with her,"

Jack looked down. "Was I?"

Kate's eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes as she traced her hand along Jack's jaw. "Are you kidding me? You were like a father figure to her. You're definitely something special Jack, and I know how lucky I am."

Jack swallowed down a lump in his throat as he looked around the room. "You still haven't eaten yet,"

Kate shook her head as she brought her head to rest against Jack's as she laughed. Her chocolate curls covered his face, and her long eyelashes tickled at his skin. "Even when I try to give you nothing to worry about, you worry."

"It's in my nature,"

"I know," Kate slowly said pushing herself off of him.

Jack sat up and then leaned forward pressing his arms against his legs. "I thought we should get some groceries before the blizzard comes in."

"Sounds good to me,"

Jack smiled, "Great,"

"Okay," Kate turned around to look around for some clothes. "So where did you hear about this blizzard,"

Jack slipped on his boxers and then pulled the towel from around his waist. He then stood up and pulled the curtains back to reveal a gloomy setting hidden behind majestic mountains and a river in the background. "On the way here the meteorologist was talking about four feet of snow over the next couple of days."

"Four feet!" Kate exclaimed.

Jack nodded, "Yeah, we could be here for a while." He closed the curtain back and then focused back on Kate who seemed to be deep in thought about something. Still sensing that she wasn't as happy as she claimed to be Jack placed his hand against her cheek. He didn't ask her if she was feeling okay for the sake of being redundant, but instead whispered. "It's just us now, and forgive me for sounding selfish but I've waited for this for a while," Jack's jaw grew tense as he stroked Kate's lips. "I have waited," He whispered.

Kate reached for his hand and kissed it. "Me too, I'm going to get ready before we get snowed in,"

"Okay,"

"But before I go," Kate wrapped her arms around Jack's neck, "Give me some sugar,"

Jack laughed, "Some sugar,"

"Your lips," Kate smiled in satisfaction and her eyes closed as she pressed her lips against Jack's. His kiss was soft and gentle, and filled with passion. God, she loved him so much. Kate gripped onto Jack's wet skin tighter as she pressed her lips harder against his. Her lungs filled with his air as he tilted his head to the side. Jack placed his hand on Kate's lower waist and leaned forward bringing her downwards with him.

Kate laughed and then moved her lips away from Jack's.

Jack was still very caught up in their kiss and as Kate pulled away his lips grazed her cheek. He smirked as he looked back at Kate and then at her leg which was wrapped around his waist. "I got you,"

"Now that I'm feeling better, you're feeling frisky huh?"

Jack grinned, "Frisky, when am I ever feeling frisky?"

Kate laughed, "Frisky,"

Jack playfully wrinkled his nose, "Frisky," He repeated.

Kate pushed his face away with her hands. "You're making me feel like I'm in too much of a good mood, maybe I'm bipolar want to check me out?"

"You're not bipolar," Jack said as he pulled Kate upwards. "Now I won't distract you anymore I just…" Jack ran his hands over his wet hair.

"You just what?"

"Just let me see that smile of yours one more time."

Kate smiled back at Jack flashing her innocent dimples and a mouthful of pearly whites. "There, are you scared that it's going to go away or something."

Jack reached outwards for Kate's hand and then entwined his fingers in between hers. "You're smile is too beautiful to just go away."

Kate gave Jack's hand a firm squeeze and then let go. "Okay, I'll try and hurry up."

While Jack waited he quickly got dressed. Kate's kiss still lingered on his lips, and her smile was flashing in the back of his mind occupying all of his thoughts. Jack was amazed by how strong she was. Even though Kate thought that she cried too much, Jack had to applaud her for holding her head up, and keeping the will to continue on despite all of this. He even thought that she was stronger than him. The bathroom door opened and steam spilled out into the room. Jack turned around slowly and rested his eyes on Kate who was dressed already with a towel wrapped around her hair.

"Just give my hair a couple more minutes and then I'll be ready," Kate said as she pulled off the towel and then started to work on drying her hair.

"Let me help," Jack offered. He took the towel from Kate's hand and then started to run it through her damp curls. "Your hair smells good," He brought his nose forward and inhaled the floral scent. "Is that hotel shampoo?"

Kate nodded, "This place is nice, and Jack…" Kate tugged at his shirt and then pointed in the corner towards a jacuzzi that was in the corner. "How much was this place?"

"Not that much because first of all we're off season, and also this was all they had left. It was pretty reasonable I promise." Jack ran his hands through Kate's hair and then applied the towel back.

"I got it, thanks," Kate smiled as she piled her hair into a messy bun on top of her head with a clip around her wrist. "I'm ready,"

Jack reached for Kate's jacket which was hanging around the edge of the chair and then handed it to her. "How about we get some food first, and then we go grocery shopping?"

Kate nodded, "Sounds good," She linked her arm inside of Jack's and together they strolled out of the motel together. She looked around nervously fearing that the Marshal was waiting right outside for them. "What if…" Kate closed her mouth when she realized that talking about the Marshal would put a damper on their time alone.

"What if what?" Jack asked.

Kate kissed him. "Nothing, I was just thinking aloud that's it."

* * *

After getting something to eat Jack and Kate headed to go to the grocery store. Kate cautiously looked around before stepping out of the car. "What if someone recognizes me?"

Jack's eyes scanned the nearly empty parking lot, and then glanced inside of the store where the business seemed just as slow. "It seems as if most people are already inside their homes waiting for the storm."

"Better for us then," Kate said.

They entered the store and the sound of elevator music bounced off of the walls. Kate watched as Jack went to grab a cart. The first thing he picked up was a newspaper, and then he turned around to face Kate. "Did you want any magazines or anything?"

Kate shook her head as she took the cart from Jack. "You shop I'll push,"

Jack picked up a couple magazines for Kate anyways. Nothing really seemed to suit her interests so Jack just grabbed the Oprah magazine because he was under the impression that all women liked Oprah, and a bridal magazine. Jack smiled at the thought of Kate in a wedding dress. After placing the newspaper and the magazines in the cart, He walked over to the fruit section and Kate followed after him with her arms rested the handle. "Peaches?" He asked her.

"Yes, and strawberries."

"Good Idea," He grabbed a plastic bag and reached for six peaches.

Kate abandoned the cart for a couple of seconds and reached for a container of strawberries with whipped cream on the top. She placed it inside and then followed after Jack who was already making his way over to the juice section.

They spent about forty-five minutes looking around the grocery store until they were almost positive they had everything they needed.

Jack looked everything over, "Checkout?"

Kate glanced around and noticed an elderly couple with a box of condoms hidden behind boxes of cereal, and ground beef. She smirked and then turned to look at Jack who was staring at the box as well in surprise. "Maybe we forgot one thing."

Jack quickly tore his eyes away from the box and then stared back at Kate with a playful smile. "I thought we had everything we needed. What did we forget?"

"I um…" Kate tilted her head back towards the elderly couples cart as a little kid with red hair and freckles stepped behind them. His eyes were fixed on a pack of baseball cards in his hand. "You know what I'm talking about." Kate whispered at Jack.

"No I don't." Jack responded with a grin.

Kate rolled her eyes.

Jack leaned closer to her and then whispered in her ear. "I already picked those up."

Kate's mouth dropped open in astonishment. "When?"

Jack kissed Kate on the cheek and then started to place their groceries on the belt. "While you were debating whether you wanted to dye your hair or not,"

Kate slowly nodded, "Sneaky I see,"

Jack shrugged, "We could be stuck in a hotel room for a couple of days, so I thought why not."

Kate winked back at him, "That's good enough logic for me," She reached across his arm to help him place the groceries on the belt. "Chocolate, roses…I didn't see you pick up any of this stuff up either," As Jack started to ring up the items on the self checkout, Kate rested her hands against his back, and then leaned against him. "I needed this,"

Jack smiled, "Me too,"

* * *

Before heading back to the motel Jack and Kate decided to check out the view Lake Lure had to offer. Jack parked the car in the scenic overlook lot and then turned around to face Kate. "You like this place?"

"It's beautiful," Kate said breathlessly. She looked up at the sky which was overcast and then down at the river rushing through the valley below. Kate opened the door, and within seconds she was peering down at the majestic mountain drop below her. Jack came behind her and then wrapped his arm loosely around her shoulders.

Kate bit her lip as she looked out at the setting. It really did feel as if she could start over. She tilted her head to the side. Now that she thought about it, time alone with Jack was probably the best thing that she could've asked for. Kate smiled to herself at the thought of having Jack all alone.

"What are you thinking about?" Jack asked grinning.

"I'm thinking about stripping you out of your clothes," Kate teased.

Jack blushed, "You are feeling frisky today."

Kate shook her head and then turned around so she could sit down on the stone ledge. "I'm just glad that we have this time together."

"Me too," Jack said as Kate brought him closer to her. He cupped her chin in his hands and then smiled back at her. "It's starting to rain we should get back,"

"We should," Kate traced her hand along Jack's wrist and then grabbed his hand, "But I don't want to go back just yet,"

Jack wiped away a couple stray rain drops that landed on his forehead. The rain started to fall lightly and then it started to pick up. The rain fell down on them in a steady pace. It had come so quickly that they didn't have time to run back to the car. "Let's go!" Jack exclaimed.

Before he could head back to the car Kate reached out for his upper arm. He turned to her in surprise. Kate took in a deep breath as she watched the rain slide down his face and lips. She then grabbed onto his drenched shirt and pulled him towards her. "I'm not scared of a little rain,"

"Freezing…."

Kate placed her hands on either side of Jack's face, and trailed her fingers along the small hairs on his face. Seconds later she leaned forward. The rain was freezing, and she could swear that it was starting to hail as well, but none of that mattered. Kate had thought Jack would push her away, but his arms slowly wrapped around her waist. Kate brought her lips onto his and then closed her eyes in satisfaction. His lips were soft and welcoming and she could taste the rain on them. Kate opened her mouth wider allowing Jack's tongue to have easier access to her, as she pressed her body against Jack's taking in the comforting feeling he always gave her.

"Ka…" Jack tried to say.

But Kate didn't want to stop kissing him.

"Ka…" Jack started again. He tried to pull away, but her lips were too succulent and soft, and he couldn't remember the last time she had kissed them like this. Jack's heart was beating so fast that he was sure that it would rip from his chest. The warmth in his cheeks increased as he felt Kate glide her hand across his lower back. Somehow he managed to pull his lips away from the wet and tender kisses Kate was spoiling him with. "Kate…"

She massaged his cheeks with her thumb and bit her lip. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't apologize. I enjoyed every second of that. But we got to get out of this." Jack grabbed Kate's hand and together they ran through the hail and rain as it started to fall harder.

Kate laughed as Jack opened her door and then quickly helped her inside. She leaned across the seat to open his door.

"Thanks," Jack said as he ducked inside. "Now are you ready to go back?"

Kate nodded, "Yeah, I need to get out of these wet clothes."

Jack started the engine and then smiled to himself. "Let's hurry up and get back in that case."

* * *

Thirty minutes later they arrived back at the motel. Jack dashed inside with three grocery bags in his hand while Kate ran after him. The hail was coming down harder, and the rain was now starting to change over to a mix between sleet and snow. Jack took the keys out of his pocket and opened the door.

Kate placed down the groceries on the table situated right next to the window, and then she pulled back the yellow and green plaid curtains. Jack had already started to take off of his jacket, and then he bent downwards to take off his shoes.

Kate kicked off her shoes with ease. "You need some help Doc?"

Jack smiled up at her, "How could you tell?"

Without answering Kate walked over to Jack. She pushed him backwards, and he backed into the wall. Her lips twisted into a devious smile as she looked him up and down. "I've heard that you haven't been taking care of yourself lately."

Jack blushed.

"You worry too much about your fiancé, and she appreciates it, but…" Kate leaned forward to kiss Jack's neck. He let out a sigh as her tongue flicked across the heated skin on his neck. Kate's lips traveled upwards as she started to unbutton his shirt. Her fingers caressed the hairs on his chest, as her mouth tasted the skin along Jack's strong jaw and his chin. Once his shirt was completely unbuttoned Kate traveled her hands across his chest, and then moved them upwards to his shoulders so she could pull the button down shirt off. The shirt fell to the floor in a careless heap. Kate stood on her tippee toes as she placed her mouth against his and her leg in between his own. Jack's hand found its way onto her arm. She shivered because his hand was cold. Kate leaned away and then placed her hand against Jack's mouth. "I never get the chance to be there for you."

"You're here for me now." Jack whispered softly.

"I am…" Kate rested her forehead against Jack's. "This morning I woke up feeling like the luckiest woman in the world, and I don't have to tell you why that is do I?"

"I can tell you why I'm the luckiest man on earth but then again I don't want to be repetitive."

.Kate pulled Jack away from the wall, and then jumped into the air. She wrapped her legs tightly around Jack's waist and then circled her arms around his neck. Jack held her close to his body as he stumbled towards the bed. "Someone's excited," Kate said looking downwards.

Jack blushed, "I didn't know that you could tell,"

"Of course I could," Kate replied as she placed another soft kiss on Jack's lips. He brought her down onto the bed. Kate's legs were still wrapped tightly around his waist causing him to fall downwards onto her. "I want you so bad right now,"

"I want you too," Jack said breathing heavily. His stomach rose up and down against Kate's as he caressed the side of her face. "Are you sure…"

Kate pushed Jack over her and then straddled his waist. "You don't have to always ask me if I'm sure." She then pulled her shirt over her head, "Besides I need some Jack therapy right now." Kate grinned devilishly and then tossed her shirt across the room.

Jack licked his lips.

Kate threw her head back as she laughed. She leaned forward and then kissed his mouth, and then his nose. "You're so sexy you know that."

Jack flipped Kate back over him and then pinned her down to the bed. He silenced her with a kiss and then ran his mouth along her face until he could gently nibble on her earlobe.

Kate let out a low moan, and pressed down on his shoulders as his mouth traveled down to her neck. Jack's kisses were teasing and only increased Kate's desire to have him wrap his arms around her and send her to the height of ecstasy. She fumbled around with his belt buckle, and then pulled his pants down his legs. Jack finished the job and then kicked his pants off.

Kate massaged the back of his neck, and then maneuvered her hands through his dark brown hair. His touch tickled her skin causing goosebumps to rise in his fingers path. She was starting to feel dizzy with a sensation of euphoria as Jack pressed himself harder against her. Kate squirmed from underneath Jack's body as she felt his excitement increasing. The room was so hot right now that she could see sweat starting to form along Jack's hairline. Jack was now working on taking off Kate's pants, as he pulled them off he smiled back at her.

Kate tapped his nose in adoration and then turned her head towards the window. Through the curtains which were billowing around from the hot air spilling out from the heater Kate could make out what looked like snow. The feel of Jack's mouth on her neck distracted her causing her to turn back towards him. She kissed the top of his head.

Jack pressed his nose against Kate's skin as his lips traveled back up towards her mouth. "Hold on one second."

Kate took Jack's lips inside her mouth greedily once again.

"You have to stop kissing me like that," Jack said with a smirk.

"Why?" Kate teased.

"Because I have to put on a condom before we end up with a little Jack running around the place."

Kate smiled, "Or a little Kate,"

Jack nodded, "That would be cute. But not yet." He pulled himself off of Kate with much hesitation and then placed his hands over his boxer briefs which were sporting a very noticeable tent.

Kate crawled up to the top of the bed and then looked down at her bra. She smirked as she watched Jack pull down his boxer briefs. Jack turned around and then smiled in embarrassment.

"Believe me you have nothing to be embarrassed about Shepard. Nice view by the way."

Jack raised his chin as he walked back towards the bed. He dropped down onto the bed and then crawled up to the top next to Kate. She stared back at him deviously, and then pulled back the comforters so he could get underneath. Kate glanced towards the heater once again, because it was so hot.

Jack pulled her close to him and with shaking hands he unclasped her bra with ease.

"You're getting better at that." Kate teased completely forgetting about the stagnant heat in the room.

Jack pulled Kate onto him. The air was thick around them and the feel of Kate's stomach against his own increased his arousal farther. Sweat dripped down his chest as Kate adjusted her body on top of his. Jack swallowed down his hesitations and went for Kate's panties pulling them down her legs. The feel of her body on top of his, and the way her legs were tangled inside of his was driving him crazy. .

Kate got off of Jack and laid down beside him.

Jack sat up in uncertainty. "Are you okay? Did I do something?"

"No," Kate whispered. She looked down at the sheets and then at the apparent concern that was registered in Jack's caring hazel eyes. "I just don't want to be on top."

Jack smiled. "Okay," He took a deep breath before he brought his body onto hers. She was small underneath him, and he was worried that all of his weight was pinning her against the bed making her uncomfortable. "You sure you want me on top?"

Kate dug her nails into Jack's back and then massaged his muscles. "Yes, Jack, yes,"

Jack brought his lips down onto Kate's mouth as he entered inside of her. A subtle pain coursed through his body as Kate's nails dug into deeper into his flesh. Her skin was hot and sticky stuck underneath him. Jack's heart rate increased as he moved inside of her in slow and steady rhythms. He kissed Kate silencing her moans. She bit his lip as Jack started to pick up pace. Kate wrapped her legs around Jack tightly and as she felt the heat in the room start to increase. She let go of Jack's back because her hands were starting to slip on his sweat and then she gripped the sheets.

Jack grunted and then rested his head against Kate's chest as his body stiffened ready for release. Kate tilted her head towards the ceiling as her breath was knocked out of her body. All she could hear was the noisy buzzing of the heater and the sound of Jack's grunts as they both reached their peaks.

Kate let go of the purple sheets, and placed her hands against Jack's chest. She touched his hair, his skin, and the sweat on his body.

"Kiss me," He said as he starting to slow down.

Without hesitation Kate leaned upwards to kiss Jack. He turned his head to the side, and rested his arms against Kate's arms as he leaned in deep for the taste of her mouth.

Seconds later Jack collapsed against Kate. He took in deep and shallow breaths as he looked down at her. Jack smiled and then kissed her cheek. With his hands he pulled her tangled and damp chocolate curls away from her face. Kate opened her eyes, and then wrapped her arms around him. Jack rolled over onto his back and then clasped his hands over his stomach as he looked up at the ceiling. "I needed that,"

Kate sat up and then rested her head against her hand. "Me too," She pulled the covers upwards, and then moved closer to Jack wrapping her arm around him and then resting her head on his chest. "Can we just stay like this for a little while longer?"

Jack nodded as he gently caressed her arm. "There's no where else I would rather be right now." He leaned forward to kiss Kate's forehead and then closed his eyes. "I love you,"

Kate closed her eyes as well. And allowed the steady rhythm of Jack's chest rising up and down to lure her to sleep, "I love you too Jack,"


	20. Touch

**AN:** Thanks to everyone that reviewed last chapter. Your feedback means a lot, and I really appreciate you guys. Also thanks to Jessica for betaing this chapter and future ones, and Sophie for helping me come up with ideas. This chapter is pure Jate fluff once again, so I hope no one is getting tired of the fluff yet. Sawyer isn't in this chapter once again. But I promise he will be in the next, and if everything works out then the next chapter will be next Monday, and it will be a Valentine's Day chapter…so that means more fluff.

Chapter 20- Touch

"So how are we going to pass time in here?" Jack asked as he looked up from the newspaper he was reading. His head was resting on Kate's shoulder, so he was now looking up at her as she read a magazine.

Kate smiled fondly to herself as she entertained thoughts of how they idle away the hours and amuse themselves. Instead of answering his question right away Kate leaned forward to kiss the edge of Jack's nose. "I thought you were already passing time by doing crosswords in the newspaper…old man."

Jack sat up and rested his arm against the bed as he passed Kate a sarcastic grin. "Old man? Why am I an old man now?"

Kate shrugged and playfully rolled her eyes at Jack. "Reading the newspaper late at night, falling asleep while watching C-SPAN, taking naps during the day." Kate raised her eyebrows in Jack's direction as she shook her head at him. "If I didn't love you so much then I would be bored."

"You were watching C-SPAN with me the other day…and for the record it's good to stay up to date with all that's happening in the world." Jack closed his mouth when he noticed the teasing smile that Kate was giving him. "Don't smile at me like that, because you know I have an argument."

Kate's smile widened as she reached for Jack's hands, "Are you getting mad at me? I was just kidding." She ran her hand along Jack's stomach. "You know haha, funny, trying to make you laugh."

"I'm not mad at you," Jack declared."And for the record I can have fun. You'll see if we're stuck in this room long enough." Jack looked down at Kate's hands and then massaged his thumb in circles across her skin. "You know I can be daring, adventurous, and fun under the right circumstances."

"Jack, I'm just kidding. I don't know any other guy that would get up on a roof when it's snowing dressed as Santa. I can do without the C-SPAN and the newspapers, but you keep me interested, I'm never bored especially when we're alone together."

Jack's cheeks flushed with warmth as Kate wrapped her leg around his waist. "So what are we doing?"

"We could sit around and talk, go outside and play in the snow, or we could make use of the candles and condoms you brought from the store." Kate beamed back at Jack as she playfully hit his arm. "Oh, I almost forgot that it's almost time for your nap. So I guess that I'll have to entertain myself."

"You've got to stop that Kate. I'm not boring."

"No, you're not." Kate got up and walked over to the window. It was dark outside now, but she could still see the steady snow showers descending from the skies. Kate placed her hand against the window as she looked out. The glass was cold to the touch, and covered with fog. Kate wiped away the steam as she peered out at the vacant street which was buried underneath snow, and then at a car which had been deserted down the road. Although she liked being alone with Jack in this blizzard, she felt trapped in the motel room and she wanted to get out. "It's beautiful outside, come and look Jack."

Jack walked over to Kate and then peered outside as well. "You look like you want to go outside and play in it."

Kate turned around and nodded. "I do, I want to get out of this room and get some air before we're really stuck in here."

"Well it is going to snow all day tomorrow, but tonight we can still get outside without having to be dug out." Jack thought it over and then decided to go along with Kate's idea. "Get dressed; we'll go outside if that's what you want."

Kate looked down at Jack's boxer briefs, "As long as you promise to get back in those as soon as we're finished out there."

Jack grinned, "Yeah I will, but only if you promise to get back in that." His eyes traveled up and down the sexy black lace lingerie gown that Kate was wearing. "I can't keep my eyes off of you."

Kate pulled at the elastic strap on Jack's boxers and it snapped back against his skin. "Ditto,"

Jack licked his lips, "We've been behaving very bad."

"Badly," Kate corrected.

Jack chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Kate's waist. "You're correcting me now too, I think we're like an old married couple."

"I don't have a problem with that, but do you?" Kate asked as she traced her hands along the muscles in his back.

Jack brought his lips down against the soft skin along Kate's neck and then planted down soft kisses in his path. "I wrote you something while you were sleep,"

"You've been writing a lot lately," Kate whispered as she allowed the feel of Jack's soft lips against her skin to send her into the grip of ecstasy. He brought her body closer to him as his hands slid across the finely woven lace of her gown. "Were you always this big of a writer?"

Jack gently sucked on Kate's neck, inhaling her perfume and tasting the sweetness of her skin on his tongue. The more he got of her, the dizzier he started to feel so he had to pull away. "I couldn't write before we happened. I tried to because I always thought it was good for release, but the right words never came to me."

Kate smiled, "Then how come you're so good at it now?"

Jack blushed modestly, "I'm not good at it."

"Yeah, you sure know how to make a girl feel special with romantic notes and poems. It's hard to believe that you weren't born a writer." Kate stood on her tippee toes as she wrapped her arms around Jack's neck. "So when did you become such a romantic?"

Jack tucked a strand of Kate's soft russet curls behind her ear. "I'm not a romantic,"

Kate grinned, "You're such a romantic. I, on the other hand am not, but when I'm around you, I just loose my sense of reason and start acting foolish. But…" Kate kissed Jack, "It's a good kind of foolish."

Jack's skin grew warm everywhere Kate's mouth touched him. "I was never a romantic, at least not until I met you." Jack let go of Kate and then reached for his pants as he sat down on the bed. "Let's go outside mess up that snow a little, and then come back inside and…"

"Play," Kate finished with a smirk. She reached for a sweater and pulled it over her head, followed after with a pair of jeans. Kate was looking forward to playing in the snow, just because it felt good not to have a care in the world for a least one day.Jack opened the door for her, and she stepped out into the bitter night. A cold gust of air grazed her cheeks, and caused her to bite her tongue as she tried to adjust to the sudden change of temperature.

Jack rubbed his hands together in attempts to get warm, as he stood back and admired Kate. Her eyes were as big as a child's who had just seen snow for the first time, and it made him happy to see her so relaxed. Jack knew that Kate deserved this, and he was willing to do anything to make sure that Kate was distracted from facing all the problems that had plagued her before. Jack leaned forward to gather a fistful of freezing snow into his hands.

"Hey,"

Jack looked up in surprise. The snow that he had gathered dropped from his hands as he looked up to see what Kate wanted.

"Surprise!" Before he could react Kate hurled a fistful of snow at his face.

Jack stumbled backwards as the ball of snow hit him squarely in the face. "So you like to play dirty." He wiped the snow away from his eyes and then looked back at Kate. "I'll give you a five second head start."

Kate motioned for Jack to come closer. "Show me what you got, baby. I don't need a head start."

"One," Jack counted trying to ignore the fact that Kate had just called him "baby." But he was failing miserably. He smiled and then looked down.

Kate placed her hands on her hips as she stepped closer to Jack, "Two,"

Jack laughed to himself as he reached downwards for another fistful of snow, "I have good aim, and just because I love you doesn't mean you're not going to get it."

"Three," Kate counted for him.

Jack tossed the freezing ball of snow from side to side, "I see you're going to make this easier than I expected."

"Maybe," Kate gripped onto Jack's sweater and then leaned in close. She was pleased to see that he immediately stopped counting. Kate had him right where she wanted him. She brought her leg behind his cautiously and then she tripped him with one swift movement. Jack fell backwards onto the snow reaching outwards, he grabbed Kate's arm and pulled her down onto him. He was laughing hysterically, and Kate couldn't help but to laugh as well. Jack tried to get up but Kate pinned him to the ground and then reached for another handful of snow.

"Don't you…" He started to say. But before he could finish Kate stuffed the snow down his shirt.

"Kate!" He yelled.

With that she jumped up and started to run away from him. Kate knew that Jack was going to try and pay her back for the last trick she pulled. The cars outside were now completely buried underneath the snow, and Kate couldn't even tell which one was theirs'. The snow was pretty deep and it wasn't as easy to run as she had expected."Heads up!" He yelled.

Kate ducked behind a car as Jack hurled a fistful of snow at her. As she dropped down, the snow ball hit the trunk of the car, and then fell down beside her. "You've got horrible aim!" She exclaimed with a grin. Kate pulled herself upwards and then grabbed some snow in her hands. It was too cold outside for her, and not to mention her hands were freezing. "I give up,"

Jack was bending down with his back turned towards her. He turned around and then dropped the second round of snow that he was collecting to throw at her. "You better be thankful I'm a gentleman, otherwise, you wouldn't be so lucky."

Kate looked down and then smiled back at him as she tilted her head to the side. "I give up, and I guess I am lucky that you're a gentleman because you could get me right now if you wanted to."

"I know I could, but I won't." Jack crossed his arms and then looked back towards their room. "Why don't we go back inside and get warmed up?"

Kate followed Jack's eyes towards their room, and then she focused back on him. Small flecks of snow covered his face, hanging off his eyelashes, and gracing his lips and cheeks. "Actually," Kate placed her free hand behind Jack's head and then pulled his face closer to her. "I'm sorry that I threw that snow in your face, I really shouldn't have."

Jack raised an eyebrow, "You don't sound sorry."

Kate smiled back at him devilishly, "You know me too well," As he brought his lips closer to hers, Kate pulled back and then threw the snow in she held in Jack's face. She ran off laughing back to their room.

Jack ran after her.

Kate reached their room completely out of breath she pushed open the door and then ran towards the back. Jack stepped inside while still wiping the snow away from his face. He kicked off his shoes, and then narrowed his eyes back at her. "You play dirty, and I was trying to play nice, but I guess I can't do that when you're involved."

Kate expected Jack to chase after her but instead he quickly pulled off his damp clothes and placed them on top of the heater. "No chase?"

Jack shook his head, "Are you hungry? I can make us something to eat."

Kate walked over to Jack and then playfully hit him. "You're just scared to get beat up by a girl,"

Jack grinned as he pulled out a package of paper knifes and everything he needed to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. "PB&J sound alright to you?"

Kate leaned against him, "Sure,"

The lights flickered in their hotel room. Both of them looked around the room and then let out a joint sigh when the power remained.

"I swear the power better not go ou…" Before Kate could finish her sentence the lights dimmed once again and then blackness took over their room.

"I think it just did." Jack responded.

* * *

An hour later all of the candles Jack had brought earlier were spread across the room. He struck the match across the box, and a spark of orange light illuminated the room. Jack looked up at Kate and then smiled.

She watched him in a trance like state, as the burning flame reflected in his light eyes, and highlighted his handsome features. "This would be really romantic if it wasn't so cold,"

Jack nodded in agreement as he started to light the candles. "Yeah, unfortunately the heat goes out with the power."

Kate stood up and walked towards Jack. She watched as he lit the last candle and then brought the match closer to her lips, with his eyes fixed on the billowing flame. "You can't blow it out?"

Jack grinned, "You blow it out."

Kate clicked her tongue. "Fine then, be difficult." She shivered as Jack placed his hand on her wrist gently. Kate looked into his eyes, and her heart skipped a beat as she recognized the genuine love he felt for her. His touch was teasing, and left her vulnerable with desire. And she could feel his labored breaths rush across her lips as he waited for her to blow out the match. Kate's eyes traveled around the room. Candle after candle was lit, and the flames were dancing. They were jumping so high that Kate wouldn't be surprised if a spark leapt onto the carpet.

Jack blew out the match, and then tossed it towards the trashcan.

Kate had expected him to miss, but sure enough it landed inside. She focused back on him and then gave him an impressed nod. "I'm still looking for a flaw in you."

Jack looked up towards the ceiling as he ignored Kate's last comment. "It looks like our shadows are dancing up there,"

Kate looked up as well, "It does, good thing you decided to pick up those candles, otherwise we would be in the dark. But unfortunately it's still cold in here" She flinched as a chilly gust swept underneath the door.

Jack walked towards the bathroom. Two seconds later he came out with a towel. Jack placed the towel in front of the little opening in front of the door. "Is that a little better?"

Kate nodded. "A little,"

Jack surveyed the room, looking around for any other cracks that could let cold air in. After his search turned up empty, he walked back over to Kate. Jack wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her into a hug. "I'll keep you warm,"

Kate closed her eyes as she rested her cheek against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, and let out a small sigh as Jack kissed the top of her head. "I feel like we're dancing now."

Jack looked down at his feet which were rocking back and forth. He chuckled, and then Kate looked up at him. Her olive saucers burned with an irresistible intensity as if she had suddenly got an idea. "What are you thinking?"

"I know how we can stay warm."

Jack glanced towards the bed, and then he placed his hands underneath his chin liking the idea of going for another round. "Sure," He started to pull off his shirt, but Kate reached for his hands. Jack paused and looked back at Kate in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Not sex, Jack."

"Oh," Jack blushed.

"Bad boy,"

Jack grinned at Kate's comment. But she took him by surprise when she pulled his shirt off anyways. Jack crossed his arms. "I thought we weren't having sex?"

"We aren't."

Jack tilted his head to the side and then looked at Kate as if she were crazy, "Then baby, what are we doing?"

Kate smirked, "I love it when you call me baby, because baby sounds so funny coming from your mouth. But anyways what we're doing is getting warm, and having fun."

"What kind of fun?"

"I've always wanted to be in a blackout, but in the summer not the winter." As Kate talked she walked in a circle around Jack. "And now that we're in one, I'm trying to figure out what we can do to stay entertained and then it came to me." She paused in front of him and ran her hands along his dark brown hair ruffling it a little bit. "Remember that time in North Carolina when 'Life is a Highway' came on in the car, and you and I just went crazy? We sung off key, played imaginary instruments, and had fun."

Jack nodded fondly as he flashed back to that day. He saw Kate singing at the top of her lungs while her head rested against the seat, and her hair in her face. "How could I forget?"

"Well, we're here now all alone with nothing else to do, and I've never seen you dance before outside of the car."

Jack smile disappeared and his eyes widened when he realized where Kate was going with this. "Kate…"

"C'mon Jack, give me a sexy boxers dance!"

Jack blushed in embarrassment. He was shocked that Kate would ask him to dance of all things. First of all he didn't even like to slow dance. Jack had no rhythm, or coordination, and he was positive that he had two left feet. Jack raised his hand and then shook his head. "No Kate, I can't do that."

Kate playfully pushed him back and then placed her hands on her hips. "Why not?"

Jack looked back at Kate pleadingly. "Because I…" When no excuses came to him right away Jack had to look down. He placed his hand over his mouth as he thought.

"I'm not asking you to ballroom dance. It doesn't have to be anything fancy…just, um, something sexy."

He shook his head in Kate's direction and then gave her an "you have officially gone crazy" look. "First you ask me to dance? And then you ask me to do something sexy? Kate, I love you, but…"

"Not that much," Kate filled in with a hint of exaggerated anger. She turned away from him, "Fine, I guess I'll just get back to my magazine, and you can get back to the Business part of the newspaper." Kate stifled a yawn, "Boring,"

Jack took in a mouthful of air, and then looked around the room. God, was he really going to do this? He swallowed down a wad of nervousness in his throat. Well, there were worse things that he could do than making a complete ass out of himself. Jack placed his hand to his forehead and wiped away beads of sweat that started to form along his hairline. He was going to do it. "Fine,"

"Yes! Sexy boxer dance!" Kate squealed.

Jack shook his head, "On one condition though, I don't dance until you do. Give me a show first Kate and then I'll…" Jack thought it over, "Make a fool out of myself."

"Okay," Kate walked over to Jack and then placed her hand against his chest as she walked him towards the bed. "Don't think about what you're doing, just dance, act crazy. No one is here but us." She pushed him down to the bed, and then raised her hands above her head.

Jack watched her with his heart in his throat. Kate really didn't seem to mind dancing like this. He was nervous, because he didn't like to dance, and not to mention dancing randomly during a blackout. His clenched his jaw as he felt his hands start to grow clammy. Why again was he so tense? Jack suddenly lost his train of thought as he watched Kate shake her hips from left to right. Damn she was good at dancing too, or at least he thought she was. Jack's eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes. When exactly did she learn how to dance like that? His stomach rose up and down faster as he watched Kate move across the floor like a vision that he could've only imagined in his dreams. There were no rules to this dance she was doing. Kate was just having fun. Her brunette locks bounced around her shoulders and face freely as she spun around the floor. Kate was smiling, and she looked so radiant. Jack slowly found himself standing upwards. He didn't know why he was walking towards her, but he just couldn't sit still and watch as she danced like this.

The candlelight bounced off of her features. Soft beams of yellow light highlighted her striking mug, as she moved in and out of the shadows with grace and ease. Jack slowly approached Kate. His eyes were locked on hers. And he couldn't help but to wonder why every time he looked into he eyes he felt as if he was falling in love with her again. When she reached out to touch him, Jack looked down at her fingertips which seemed to be burning a hole into his flesh. Her laughter echoed in his ears, as a feeling of happiness that nothing in this world could shatter washed over him. Kate was laughing, and she was actually happy. Jack thrived on her happiness, so he felt good now.

However he still couldn't bring himself to dance. But Kate was holding Jack's hands tightly as she whirled around the room. He trailed after her. Jack began to grow dizzy as shades of orange and gold mixed together as they went around the room. Kate threw her arms around him and pressed her lips on his.

Jack accepted her kiss gratefully. This kiss was different from any other she had given him all day. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed her lips harder against his. Jack's lips parted and Kate slipped her tongue inside of his mouth. He ran his hands through her soft curls as he tried to make her forget about his part of the deal.

"Now show me what you got,"

Jack kissed Kate again.

"Don't try to distract me with…"

Jack sampled Kate's lips once more with a feverish passion. A sense of relief washed over him as her hand dropped down and then clutched onto his side. Her legs were growing wobbly and shaking against his legs. Jack was surprised that he still had this affect on her even though they had tasted each others lips so many times already.

"Hey!" Kate exclaimed, pushing him away.

Jack looked back at her innocently with flushed cheeks, widened eyes, and parted lips still craving some more of Kate's mouth.

"You're bad, very bad. You're trying to make me forget. Start dancing, because I kept up on my part of the dare now it's your turn. This night isn't passing by any faster, so show me a good time, Jack,"

"Kate, I am a horrible dancer. I'm a doctor not a dancer." Jack asserted.

"And I'm a fugitive, but I can still move around somewhat. C'mon Jack," Kate begged as she placed her hands on his shoulders to give him a brief massage, "Loosen up, and then just do what your body feels is right."

Jack looked up towards the ceiling as Kate rubbed his shoulders for a little while longer. "Why else do you want me to dance besides passing time?"

Kate smiled, "Because I like to exploit you for my own purposes, and I'm a very bad fiancé."

Jack grinned, "Exploit me? Nice choice of words."

Kate shook her head as she looked down. "I also have another excuse, while you were reading the newspaper and watching C-SPAN, I had more chocolate than I should have and finished off the rest of your soda. So I'm kind of hyper."

"I see," Jack responded.

Kate hit him, and then pushed him towards the center of their room.

"You like manhandling me today too?" Jack said.

Kate nodded, "Can I blame that on the soda and chocolate too?" She crossed her legs and then leaned against the bed with a satisfied grin. "I'm ready whenever you are Chippendales."

"Whoa, I'm not stripping. So you can get that out of your head."

Kate laughed, "Of course you aren't."

Jack shook his head, "I'm not." He looked around the room and then a couple of seconds later the only action he managed to do was tap his leg.

Kate bit her lip to keep from laughing. "What seems to be the problem?"

"I don't have any music, and I can't just dance without any music. You're asking too much you know that."

"Well, I can't help you there. But just use your imagination and pretend that music is playing in the background. C'mon Jack!"

Jack scowled as he started to bob his head. "You're making this up to me later."

"Sure, now show me something sexy and I promise that you won't regret it." Kate leaned forwards and rested her arms against her knees. "Okay, if it makes it any easier make me want you."

Jack closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and then tried to find a way to force Dr. Jack Shepard to the back of his mind. There was no way that he could dance by himself, so he was going to find a way to get Kate on the floor with him. Jack opened his eyes and smiled back at her. He started to tap his feet, and then nod his head. Kate looked bored. Jack dropped down onto the floor and then acted as if he was playing a guitar.

Kate laughed.

Jack blushed.

"What the hell?" She said.

"You said it's okay to make a fool out of myself." Jack pushed himself upwards and then walked around the room. He moved his shoulders from side to side and slightly raised his arms, but he wasn't feeling that comfortable, so they dropped. "I can't dance and I warned you, so if you want your memories to be scared for life because of my dancing then…"

"Loosen up in your waist area, and move your arms a little bit because…"

Jack walked over to Kate and reached for her hand. He pulled her up to him and then tilted her backwards. Kate gasped and grabbed onto his back as her foot slid across the floor. "Dance with me, I can't do it on my own."

"Okay," Kate said as Jack pulled her back up. She reached for his hands and together they started to dance. Kate shook her head along with the imaginary beat that filled her mind. It felt so good to have fun, no matter how crazy this idea was, it felt good.

Jack was beside her. His body was so close, and he seemed to be loosening up as well. He still couldn't dance, but Kate was impressed that he was trying to for her. She watched as Jack did some odd move; she laughed out loud before covering her mouth. Jack fell to the floor.

Kate was laughing so hard now that she was crying. She placed her hands over her stomach as she doubled over, and then fell on the floor next to him, who was giving her a very serious glare. She stopped laughing for a second so she could hug Jack. "I wasn't laughing at you I was just…I love you Jack, don't be mad."

Jack sat up. "You were what?"

Kate pressed her face against his as she started to laugh again, "What was that move you did? I swear you looked like a chicken with its leg cut off."

Jack smiled. "I told you I couldn't dance."

Kate helped him up, "You can't, but you did look good doing whatever it was that you were doing."

Jack wrapped his arms around Kate and then pulled her down onto the bed with him, "So don't ask me to dance anymore. Because now that you've seen what I could do, you should be afraid."

Kate nodded in agreement, and clasped her hands over her stomach as she looked up at the ceiling. They were silent for a couple more minutes but Kate couldn't stop thinking about Jack's dancing. "Show me that move one more time."

"Kate," Jack sighed.

Kate wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes as she laid down on his chest. "I'm just kidding. I've had enough dancing for one night."


	21. Flying High

AN: I've been gone for a long time, and I'm so sorry but I've had a bad case of writer's block with this story, but I'm pretty sure that's over. Thank you so much for the reviews guys, you'll are truly awesome. This chapter is dedicated to Merx as a belated b-day present, so I hope it's good enough:) I posted this last week, but I wasn't sure if anyone really noticed so I'm reposting. Thanks Orlando-crazy, and delee for reviewing!

I do not own "Lost" or the characters mentioned in this story except for my OC's, everything belongs to ABC, and I also do not own "Flying High" which belongs to Jem.

* * *

Chapter 21- Flying High

Jack concentrated on the newspaper in front of him as Kate snuggled up to him. She wrapped her arm around him, and then rested her cheek on his chest. Jack smiled to himself as he looked down at Kate's curly hair. Since they had been alone it felt as if they had gotten so much closer. Jack tilted his head backwards and slowly rolled it around his shoulders as he felt a dull ache in his back.

Kate sat up. "Tired?"

"I'm not going to sleep until you do." Jack replied. He placed down the red marker in his hands and stretched his arms outwards. A yawn escaped his throat in the process. Jack pointed to his back, "I just have this little ache in my back that's all."

"Oh, well let me help you with that. I've been told that I give an excellent massage," Kate replied with a warm smile. She pulled the covers off of Jack and then instructed him to lie down on his stomach.

"Who told you that you that you give an excellent massage?" Jack asked as he placed the newspaper down next to him. He looked back at Kate curiously as she got on top of him. "Seriously,"

"What, are you starting to get jealous because you think I give random guys massages?" Kate teased. She lifted Jack's shirt over his head and then tossed it onto a chair by the window.

"I'm not jealous I just wanted to know who told you that."

"I was kidding. I was just trying to persuade you into a massage so I had to come up with a sales pitch first, something like the massages Kate gives are better than no other," She giggled to herself. "I swear I'll have my act together in the morning there must be a lack of oxygen in this room or something because I can't stop joking around."

Jack crossed his arms and rested his chin on top of his hands. "It's okay,"

Kate placed her hands on Jack's back and then started to give Jack a massage. She glided her fingers across his muscles with expertise, relieving the stress and tension that was built up inside. Kate leaned forward and then kissed his cheek. "Someone had a busy day huh," She replied with a teasing grin. "With all the dancing, and the snowball fights I can't blame you."

"Let's make a deal," Jack sat up. He turned over and then placed his hands around Kate's waist. She let out a squeal.

"I'm ticklish there,"

"Sorry," Jack replied with a smile.

Kate got off of him and sat down on her side of the bed. She pulled her hair onto her shoulders, and then cast her emerald eyes back on Jack. "A deal?" Kate smirked. She raised an eyebrow as she stared deep into Jack's hazel eyes which were illuminated with golden light from the candles around them. The power was still out, and the room was starting to get colder. Kate shivered and snuggled up closer to Jack.

"How about we forget about the whole dance thing,"

"How do you expect me to forget that?"

"C'mon Kate,"

Kate shook her head, "It wasn't that bad Jack, It was quite sexy actually."

"Excuse me?" Jack replied with a laugh. He placed his hand underneath Kate's chin and tilted her face up towards his. "You laughed at me when I fell to the floor. I looked like one of those people that people just gawk at during weddings for having the audacity to bust a move."

"Bust a move, oh Jack." Kate grinned as she rubbed the back of his head. She was trying not to laugh, but then she thought about the 'legless chicken' maneuver that sent Jack to the floor. Before she knew it her self control had failed her and she was laughing out loud. Kate buried her face in his tee-shirt as she tried to muffle her laughter.

"You're a horrible liar," Jack said in playful disdain as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She latched into his shirt as she lifted her head up. Her cheeks were still rosy from laughing so hard, but she had managed to regain her composure slightly. "Are you okay now?"

Kate cleared her throat. "I'm good,"

"You're good," Jack repeated with an arched eyebrow.

Kate hit him playfully, "Yes Jack, I'm good. I promise I won't ever laugh at you again." She crossed her fingers behind her back, because she knew eventually he would do something to make her laugh again. Kate cupped his face in her hands and leaned forward so she could kiss him. "You can't help it, but don't worry even though I'm laughing at you, I promise it's out of love."

Jack reached for Kate's fingers and gently pried them off of his face. "How come I can't help it? I definitely don't consider myself as a funny guy."

"Because you try so hard to retain your 'doctor status' around me, and then I start goofing around at least on my better days…and you know that you can't resist but to join in."

"Well you're my fiancé I can't just sit around and watch. I feel obligated to join in, and I guess if I'm going to make a fool out of myself then there's no one else I rather it be in front of than you." Jack sensed that they were about to get into a conversation about love, but he didn't mind.

"Remember that upside down kiss?" Kate brought up randomly.

"Oh god…Kate," Jack placed his hand to his face in embarrassment. His cheeks were now a shade of bright red and a nervous smile had clouded over his face.

"I thought it was cute," Kate cooed. She smiled to herself as she gave Jack's hand a gentle squeeze as her thumb massaged his skin. "Can I tell you something?"

"You can tell me anything," Jack took the newspaper off of the bed, and then tossed the marker down on the floor with it. "I can finish looking at wanted ads later tonight, let's talk."

Kate bit on her lip thoughtfully. She then tilted her head to the side, and a strand of her curly auburn locks fell into her face. "This might sound a little weird, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're an amazing guy."

Jack smiled to himself. "That doesn't sound weird at all I could disagree though."

Kate laughed to herself and closed her eyes. "God, I sound so pathetic,"

"No, you don't," Jack gently tucked a strand of Kate's hair behind her ear, and then rested his hand against her cheek. Her skin was so soft to the touch. "I danced for you remember, that's the only pathetic thing I can think of tonight."

"I thought we weren't going to bring that up,"

Jack frowned, "Oh yeah, and I made that rule up too."

"Silly doctor," Kate teased in a childish voice.

Jack scratched the back of his head as he looked down. It was unbelievable how good this time alone had been for them. He had pretty considered himself a straight shooter, someone that didn't like to joke at all before he met Kate. And now here he was dancing like an idiot, and writing love poems. If that wasn't love then he wasn't sure what was. Because Kate had changed him. Maybe if he told her that, then she would feel more at ease with opening up more to him, but then again Kate already knew how he felt.

"I really loved Tom, Jack,"

Jack flinched at the mention of Tom. Kate was so happy now, and he feared that if they talked about Tom, then that would bring up thoughts about Timmy. He took in a deep breath, and prepared himself for the worst.

"Through thick and thin Tom was there for me. I had a pretty rough childhood, my mom was never there, and my…Wayne, was an ass. I hated him, and I even wished that he would die." Kate paused to wipe a tear from her eye, she didn't feel the need to tell Jack the whole story but she felt as if he deserved something. "Tom was my only escape back then, and when he died I thought that all hope was lost, because Tom was the only one that cared. I'm a fugitive you know Jack,"

Jack nodded, "I know," His tone was still soft and caring.

Kate smiled to herself as she searched Jack's hazel eyes. "Tom was still there for me as well. Most people would have turned me into the authorities, but not Tom, he was my friend to the end, and I thought after he died that not only had I lost my best-friend, but all hope as well."

Jack continued to look back at Kate in understanding, because he got her. Although, he was only running because of her, Jack could understand how lonely it could be to live life on the run and alone. Jack could only imagine how many nightmares Kate had repressed over her lifetime, and now that he was there to love her and listen she could let it out. Since Kate was so guarded the fact that she was even opening up to him meant a lot…it actually meant the world.

"When I first met you, there was something about you that reminded me of…" Kate hesitated. She exhaled and tore her eyes away from Jack's before she decided to continue. "You reminded me of Tom,"

"Is that a good or bad thing?" Jack asked cautiously.

"I'm not sure…"

Jack looked down. How could he help her get over Tom, if he reminded her of him, which meant that it was nearly impossible to help Kate get over Timmy.

"But…" She caressed his arm.

There was hope. Jack focused back on Kate. He was mesmerized by the way her skin glowed with a subtle bronze color, and the way wisps of her chocolate curls danced around her face. "But?"

"Even though you reminded me of Tom, I didn't fall in love with you because of that. You made me feel safe, and I'm not used to feeling safe, especially when I'm handcuffed to bed, and being chase by gunmen through the woods."

"You felt safe then?"

Kate nodded, "We made a pact remember. Sawyer was really rough back then, we were just his 'hostages' and we agreed to help each other out."

"I remember,"

"You didn't even question me about jumping into your car. And you even tried to talk Sawyer into letting me go, and that struck me because you didn't know anything about me."

"I didn't then, but I did fall in love with you when we were in West Virginia. I still didn't understand you because there were so many things about you that I didn't know. That's why I left."

"You came back though,"

"I did, and it was because I wasn't ready to let you go. We were all at tough times in our lives, Sawyer had people that wanted him dead and still do, I was about to propose to Sarah out of obligation, and you…"

"Had just killed one of my dearest friends, on top of other things." Kate passed Jack a weak smile. "Life was bad then, and I guess if I didn't have you then it would still look that way. And what I'm trying to say is that I'm…" Kate swallowed down a lump in her throat and then placed her hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry I just want you to know how I feel, and it's hard for me to express myself Jack. I know I've told you so many times that I love you, which is true. But 'I love you' is just words, and this…this is why I love you." Kate bit the inside of her cheek.

_You can't know, oh no  
you can't know  
how much I think about you, no  
It's making my head spin_

"I never used to write before we met, I used to try and write poems for Sarah. Most of the time the poems were about how sorry I was for working too much, or missing dinner, but I couldn't write any about love." Jack let go of Kate's hand and then wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He sensed that there might be too much pressure on her, so he wanted to alleviate some of it by telling her how much he loved her and why. "This may sound cliché, but I seriously thought I was incapable of love. The only passion that I possessed before we met was work. I always worked, and up until then I couldn't imagine living my life any other way."

"If we were in a normal situation do you think you would go back to working as much?"

"I would work, but would I work that much, no way." Jack tilted his head to the side and looked back at his beautiful fiancé. "You make me feel alive inside, just being near you, and looking at you every morning gives me a purpose outside of working. I'm honored to be a part of your life Kate, and I want to show that everyday. You deserve flowers every morning, breakfast in bed, poems…I try my best, because I know this is real. I want to be a romantic, and I need to because I don't want to lose this."

"You're going to make me cry," Kate wiped underneath her eyes quickly, "And you know what happens when I cry. One thing leads to another and then I start acting hysterical."

"And when you go 'hysterical' I don't love any less. When I say that I love you Kate, that doesn't mean that I love one part of you. You take me for my seriousness, my dancing, and I've heard, not saying that it's true, but I've heard that I have a habit of taking charge when it's not always needed. And you accept me for that."

_Looking at you  
and you are looking at me  
and we both know what we want  
hmmm, so close to giving in_

* * *

"Harlequin?" Taylor asked as she eyed the novel Sawyer was reading.

Sawyer quickly placed down the romance novel in his hands. He wasn't reading the book, but only getting to the good parts…the sex parts. Sawyer folded down his page and then tossed the book aside. He focused on Taylor, and waited for her to question him about the book.

"I thought you didn't like those kinds of books,"

"I don't, I just got some extra time on my hands, and I needed something to entertain me. But this book ain't doing the job no ways. Samantha is too much of a good girl for my liking." Sawyer yawned to himself and then crawled up to the edge of the couch. He fluffed his pillow, and then pulled the covers back so he could get underneath. "Is Chloe asleep?"

"She told me that you said you were going to take her to the park tomorrow." Taylor replied softly. She reached for a throw pillow and then brought it closer to her body.

Sawyer closed his eyes. "You shoulda told me how good Goldilocks was at Monopoly, because she kicked my ass Taylor."

Taylor smiled, "She's been playing Monopoly forever, and it's her favorite game."

Sawyer cracked open one eye. "Before we even started the game she told me that she wanted me to take her to the park…Can you believe that? The kid was already makin' demands and she hadn't even seen my skills yet."

"You make her so happy." Taylor whispered. As she thought about Sawyer's effects on their daughter she ran her hands through the braided strings that dangled from the pillow. When Sawyer left she wasn't sure how Chloe was going to handle it. Taylor loved Chloe more than anything, and she would always do everything in her power to make sure that she was happy, but lately it was Sawyer that had been bringing smiles to Chloe's face.

"Well she makes me hap…" Sawyer paused. His eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes when he realized what he was about to say. "She's a good kid, I like her,"

Taylor brought her legs onto the couch opposite Sawyers', and rested her chin against the pillow. He deserved to know the truth, Sawyer deserved to know that Chloe was his daughter, but she couldn't tell him. Taylor bit her lip as she stared into the fire that was swaying in the hearth. She sensed that Sawyer wanted to leave soon, and even though she knew life would be hard after he left, she wasn't going to keep him.

"I'm not big on thank yous, but I owe you one. Thanks…I guess for letting us stay here. You don't have to say anything, but I appreciate everything you've done for us." Sawyer then passed Taylor a shrug, "That's all I got, I'm sure Jacko could've said a better thank you, but I…"

"You're welcome Sawyer,"

Sawyer closed his mouth, and nodded in Taylor's direction. He was about to tell her that he planned on leaving. His bags were already packed and waiting for him underneath her bed. He was leaving tomorrow.

"If you're going to leave Sawyer…" Taylor closed her eyes. She didn't want him to leave. But she couldn't keep him, Sawyer had always gone wherever the wind took him, and now he needed to be somewhere else and she had to understand that. She could cry now, but she didn't want his pity. She just wanted him to remain in Chloe's life after she had been through such a great deal of trauma, but that wasn't going to happen. "If you're going to leave then you should go before Chloe wakes up."

Thoughts of Chloe drifted into Sawyer's mind. He had walked out on a lot of people his in his life, left them by the railroad tracks when they needed him the most, because he didn't like attachments. Sawyer bit down on the inside of his cheek so hard that the bitter taste of blood filled his mouth. No matter how much he cared for Taylor he had walked out on her once before, but he had yet to walk out on Chloe. It did make sense to leave before Chloe woke up…but she was just a child, and she was so happy before he came along, with Timmy and the Marshal. Sawyer squeezed his eyes shut as he mentally pictured the look of fear in Chloe's eyes the night he had been shot. How could he leave her and Taylor.

"We'll be fine Sawyer. I know it doesn't make any sense to act as if everything will go back to normal as soon as you leave because it won't, but we're strong. Chloe is an amazing child, she's so strong, and very mature beyond her years. She'll understand why you had to leave."

Sawyer sat up. His heart was racing. If he stayed then the guys after him could possibly find him and then kill them all, but if he left then he would probably never see Chloe or Taylor again.

"Sawyer, when Jack and Kate left I knew that you would eventually follow after them. I was prepared for you to leave, and I'm thankful that Chloe and I got to spend some extra time with you before you left." Taylor placed down her pillow and then stood up. "I'm going to get ready for bed. If you decide to leave tonight then just let me know and we'll work out something before Chloe wakes up."

Sawyer watched as Taylor walked towards the back of the house. He sat up in the couch as he pulled the covers back. His feet were on the floor within seconds and his arms rested against his legs as he debated whether he should get up or not. Sawyer then turned to the right to glance at Chloe's room where she was sound asleep.

_Feel so nice  
oh yeah you feel so nice  
wish I could spend the night  
but I can't pay the price  
oh no, no_

* * *

Chloe couldn't get to sleep because every time she closed her eyes she saw Timmy. He still scared her and even though he was gone now, she still saw him every night before bed time. Chloe grabbed her covers and brought them closer to her face as she started to feel a little scared again. The safety of knowing that Sawyer was still with them eased her fears. She knew that he would leave soon, but she prayed that he would stay a little longer. Because he was incredibly awesome. Even though he didn't like cartoons he watched them with her, and one time she even managed to make him have tea time with her. Chloe opened her eyes and she looked around the room. Shadows hovered in every corner, but Sawyer would keep them away, although he tried not to care, Chloe knew that he did care.

"I know Sawyer has to leave because Jack and Kate is his family, but I don't know what I will do without him God. The shadows in my room will seem scary again, and I'll be sad…and I don't want to be sad." Chloe sat up and looked out the window. The hail was starting to fall heavier and it sounded like golf balls were pounding down on the roof.

"Please don't leave Sawyer," Chloe whispered into the dark room.

_But I'm flying so high  
high off the ground  
when you're around  
And I can feel your high  
rocking me inside  
it's too much to hide_

* * *

Kate stared back at Jack. She had stepped out of her comfort level and filled him in on more than she had planned. Of course it all had to sound crazy to him, since she pretty much compared him to Tom. Maybe she shouldn't have opened her mouth in the first place, even if Jack deserved to know the thoughts that were racing through her head. Although Jack, reminded her of Tom in some ways, he wasn't Tom and she realized that. Kate sighed, and then looked down at the sheets between them. Her hand traced along the blue fabric and then around the red lining around the edges. She hoped that Jack would say something because the silence was driving her crazy.

Kate shivered as a cold gust of air swept from underneath the door. How lucky were they to be trapped in a motel room without power. Her teeth were now starting to chatter, so she balled up underneath the covers. The comforter wasn't providing much warmth, so she felt exposed to the bitter temperatures that had overtook their once toasty room. Kate rested her head against her pillow and watched as Jack got up. He walked into the bathroom and came out with a towel that he placed it in front of the door and then joined Kate back on the bed.

Kate closed her eyes. She shouldn't feel this way because Jack seemed to appreciate it when she opened up to him, but it was so hard.

"We had a good talk," Jack replied. He laid down on Kate's pillow and then wrapped his arm around her body. "Until the power comes on I'll keep you warm."

A smiled tugged at the corners of Kate's mouth as she reached for Jack's hand. He kissed her cheek softly and then buried his face in her hair. Kate giggled as she felt his breath tickle the back her neck. She turned over on her side to face him. "We're going to get through this right?"

"You mean are we going to survive?" Jack asked softly.

Kate nodded.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

The lights flickered on.

Kate sighed. She didn't want Jack to move away. She was comfortable like this, with his arms wrapped around her, and his body as close as possible. He made her feel so safe. Kate expected him to get up, and go back to the wanted ads that he had been focused on most of the night. "The power's back on,"

"I know," Jack scooted closer when he noticed that she had moved away. "No more work tonight for me, I'm pretty sure I have a plan for tomorrow."

"Pretty sure?"

"Sure enough," Jack smiled as Kate placed her hand over his head. Her hand moved in slow circles as her fingers sifted through his dark brown hair. He let out a sigh and then brought his head onto her lap.

Soon afterwards Jack had drifted off to sleep, leaving Kate alone to listen to the steady of hum of the heater, and the television which was turned down low. Kate reached for the remote and turned off the television. Now all she could hear was the barely audible sound of air rushing in and out of Jack's nose as he slept. Kate kissed him on top of the head. "Love you,"

* * *

Sawyer changed into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. The mirror in the bathroom was glaring back at him, begging for him to look at his reflection. But Sawyer didn't want to see himself, because there was no choice that was right in this situation. He couldn't stay and that was the end of the story. He opened the door, and then slowly trudged towards Taylor's room. He couldn't fix their lives, he couldn't change what had been done, and eventually Chloe would realize that he wasn't as good as she thought he was. Sawyer would rather leave before it was too late, he didn't want to put them in any additional danger, and not to mention he was starting to feel like he belonged with them. And that made him feel uncomfortable, because he didn't belong anywhere.

Sawyer stepped into Taylor's room. She was standing by the window with her back turned towards him. Her arms were wrapped around her body, and she looked so thin. So fragile like she could break in any second. Sawyer looked down with difficulty. He felt like a coward for leaving her here like this. He wanted to stay, but he couldn't. Sawyer clenched his hands so tightly that he felt as if the circulation had been cut off. He was doing the best he could to keep his act together, but it didn't help that Taylor brought out the 'human' side in him that he didn't know he possessed. Sawyer took a step forward and then he stopped when he heard a sniffle.

Taylor was crying but she was trying so hard to keep it to herself. Sawyer suspected that she didn't even know he was there. Once Sawyer managed to regain some of his composure he walked towards her. He tried to figure out a good way to say 'goodbye', but then he realized that there was no good way to tell her that he was leaving. Sawyer reached outwards and his hand rested on her shoulder. She shivered.

There was silence between them.

_I know, oh yes (here)  
I know that we can't  
be together  
but, I just like to dream  
It's so strange  
the way our paths have crossed  
how we were brought together_

Taylor turned to face him a couple of seconds later. There were no visible signs of tears on her face, but her eyes were red and puffy. She pulled her bangs casually into her eyes, "Allergies,"

Sawyer nodded.

"So…" She clasped her hands together and flashed Sawyer a warm smile. "Here's what were going to do. I'm going to give you the keys to my truck and you can take it to the bus stop, and leave it there and…" Taylor paused. She took in a deep breath, and then looked away as her bottom lip started to tremble.

Sawyer's eyebrows dropped low over his eyes. He was sorry for doing this to her. And he would be sorry for the rest of his life. Taylor gently pushed him aside as she walked across the room. Her arms were wrapped around her body again. But Sawyer knew that didn't do any good. She tried so hard to keep her composure and her strength just because she didn't want him to stay, but Sawyer knew that if he stayed then that would ease her somehow.

But why did she care so much? Why did Chloe and Taylor place him up on this shrine that he didn't deserve. His whole life was a lie, he cheated and used anyone he could in order to get ahead. He didn't deserve them because the only thing he was worthy of was misery. But they didn't deserve to be as miserable as him. After he left they should be able to go back to their quiet and happy life, where Taylor picked Chloe up every afternoon from school, and Chloe's biggest concern was finishing her homework before dinner.

This wasn't right for him to just leave like this.

_Back to earth  
where did you take me to  
I know there's no such thing  
As painless love  
well it'll catch us up  
and we can never win_

"Here are my keys. I'll get a ride with Cecile to get my car in the morning."

Taylor reached for Sawyer's hand and placed her keys inside his palm. Sawyer closed his eyes as her hand lingered on his. When he left he would go back to his old life. Jack and Kate were out of the picture, and he didn't want to be with them any longer. They had each other, and he didn't want to be a third wheel. He would just go back to being lonely, and angry as hell at the world. Because he was comfortable with that life, when people hated him, they didn't expect a damn thing from him and he could live with that. Sawyer opened his eyes.

Taylor wasn't even looking at him, but instead at the wall she looked so lost.

Sawyer opened his mouth to say bye but the words wouldn't come out. So he was just going to leave. His eyes were now trained on the ground as he made a step towards the door. But he stopped because he couldn't just leave without saying goodbye to Taylor. Sawyer reached for her arm and pulled her towards him. "Believe me you'll be glad after I'm gone."

Taylor shook her head. She tried to ease her arm out of Sawyer's grip but he refused to let go. She feared she was going to cry again, and she was usually so good at masking her emotions. "Bye,"

Sawyer continued to stare back at her, he was feeling things that he didn't want to feel. He should leave before she fell apart in front of him because it would be better that way. Taylor didn't need him to comfort her, and he couldn't because he was in no place to tell her that it would be okay.

"I just…"

Sawyer pulled her closer to him. His hands were shaking as he took her in his arms. Let her go. Let her go. Leave, just walk away. But he couldn't because he could feel her stomach rising up and down against his. Taylor's hand was against his chest and she was trying to push him away, but he continued to hold her. His actions didn't make much sense because he knew in reality that he had to go. But yet he couldn't, at least not yet.

"I'm fine," Taylor held her hands up in the air signaling that she wanted Sawyer to let her go. "I just get a little overwhelmed sometimes, but I'm fine. We're going to be okay, and our lives will return back to…" Taylor had to turn away. She was lying, how could their lives return back to normal, her six year old daughter had witnessed a man die right in front of her eyes. Nothing would ever be the same. She didn't want to cry again, but she couldn't because Chloe was going to be devastated when she found out that Sawyer had left. "Where am I supposed to start, how do I fix this Sawyer?"

Sawyer looked down.

"It's not your problem it's mine. My goal as a parent is to make sure that my child is okay, I thought I was doing a good job of protecting her, but I wasn't ready for this…how do I make her feel safe again, when I don't even feel safe." Taylor took in a mouthful of air as a flood of tears fell down her cheeks. Sawyer was just watching her, he looked remorseful, but there was nothing he could do for her, so she had to let him go, no matter how much she needed him. "I'm sorry for falling apart like this, I just try not to think about what happened that night. I managed to block it out of my mind. But now the memories have flooded back to me and I'm forced to deal with them."

Sawyer lifted his thumb up to Taylor's cheek and he wiped away a tear. There were no words that he could say to make her feel better, but he did care. He cared way more than he wanted too. She shivered in his arms. At least for this moment he could protect her. Sawyer leaned forward and allowed his hand to drop down to her chin. A kiss couldn't solve her problems, and it sure as hell couldn't solve his, but if Sawyer believed in anything it was Taylor. Everyone had their moments of weaknesses, and this was her moment but she was so strong especially when it came to Chloe. Maybe if he told himself that enough then he would start to believe it.

"Sawyer…"

He kissed her gently. She was the only person that never judged him. He was a coward for walking away, but she would never call him out on it. Taylor had faith in him, and that scared the shit out of him because he knew that he would let her down, because that was his nature. Sawyer placed his hand on her lower back and pulled her in closer. He could taste the saltiness of her tears on her lips, and for a second he considered staying. Because she was worth staying for, but at the same time the longer he stayed the more susceptible Chloe and Taylor were to becoming targets.

_But ohhh  
I feel so alive  
ohhh  
Just wanna hold you  
hold you so tight_

* * *

Kate twirled her engagement ring around her finger as she flipped through the book Jack had written his proposal in. Her cheeks flushed with warmth as she read over the entries. It was amazing to read his thoughts and see how he reacted to her even when she had been all over the place. His love was truly unconditional and that made her feel good. Really good. Kate closed the book and pushed it towards the middle of the table. She brought her legs up onto the chair with her and relaxed against the heater. Warmth surged through her body as she watched Jack. The covers were halfway on him, and the rest was on the floor. He was a 'bed hog' so his legs were stretched out over the whole mattress, and he was sleeping on her pillow while his was on the floor. Kate smiled to herself. The more time they spent alone together, the harder she fell for him. He was so perfect and she couldn't wait until the day when they could stop running and be together in a normal situation. Kate tilted her head to the side and she listened to Jack snore softly. She watched him for a couple more seconds until she decided to join him because he looked so peaceful.

Kate pulled back the covers slightly and then eased Jack's leg over to the other side. She then placed his arm over by his side. "You have to share the bed with me," Kate laid down on the bed and pulled the covers over her. "Night Jack," she looked at him and for a second expected him to say goodnight but he was really knocked out. So Kate turned away from him and slept on her side.

A couple of minutes later the bed gave way on Jack's side. He turned off the lights, the television, and adjusted the heat.

Kate opened her eyes but decided against letting Jack know that she was still awake. Jack let out a sigh as he came back onto the bed slowly; he was obviously trying not to wake her. Kate looked through the corners of her eyes but she couldn't see Jack behind her because it was too dark. But she felt his arm ease around her lower torso as he reached for her hand. "Goodnight baby,"

"Night Jack," Kate mouthed as she allowed herself to drift off.


	22. The Death of James Ford

Chapter 22- The Death of James Ford

_"Wake up honey, wake up." _

_James slowly opened his eyes. He had been in a deep sleep, and he was startled to wake to the chaos around him. His mom was standing right over him, and through the darkness he could see the tears spilling down her cheeks. James sat up with fear apparent in his innocent blue eyes. He was scared because he didn't have any idea what was going on. Someone was pounding at the front door, and it sounded as if they would get in any second. _

_"Open the damn door!" He yelled._

_James' mom pulled back the covers back and quickly helped her son out of bed. "Sweetie, I'm going to need you to hide underneath the bed and not come out for any…"_

_"Open the damn door, before I knock it down!"_

_James reached for his mom's hands which were on his face. "Mommy, what's wrong?"_

_"Get under the bed James, he'll think you are still with you're grandparents." His mom said in a rush without answering his question._

_"Mommy?"_

_"Either you let me in, or I'll knock down this door! I mean it, I'll knock it down."  
James scared eyes shifted towards the door once more. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins and his breathing pattern was labored and shaky._

_"I love you," His mom said._

_"I love you too mommy,"_

_She passed him a brief smile that was tainted with pain and fear. After she quickly ran her hands over James' blonde hair she ushered him underneath the bed. "Don't come out for any reason unless I tell you to do so. James, you stay under there."_

_James nodded his head up and down in trepidation. He rested his hands against the cold floor, and brought his legs closer to his body. He wanted to stop his mom from going out there, and tell her to hide underneath the bed with him, because that way she would be safer. The sharp sound of bangs on the door caused him to jump. His entire body was shaking uncontrollably. _

_The door opened from outside and then the agonizing sound of his moms screams filled his ears. James' eyes started to water as he heard objects crashing to the floor. In order to keep quiet he clamped his hands over his mouth._

_"Stop!" His mother screamed anguish._

_More objects crashed to the floor, glass shattered, and the sound of someone being thrown against the wall echoed throughout the small house. And then there was a gunshot, silence followed afterwards. _

_James squeezed his eyes shut. The sound of his mothers screams vanished, and for a second there was silence. The silence lasted for about three seconds, and then the sound of boots walking towards his room shook him to the core. A shadow appeared underneath the crack in the doorway, and then the door opened slowly. The hinges groaned in protest as the door knob hit the wall. _

_James scooted against the wall. His palms had grown clammy and he feared that his father would find him. Tears welled in his eyes as he watched him stop right before the bed. James tried to scoot back further but the wall blocked him._

_His father sat down on the bed and for a while there was calmness._

_James looked up towards the bed waiting for something to happen, and then he heard another gunshot. He placed his hands to his ears, and closed his eyes. The bed shifted, and his fathers arm fell forwards and the gun dropped. It fell onto the floor, with the barrel facing James. _

_James hoped that if he kept his eyes closed long enough then it would all go away. Everything that just happened would fade into some horrible nightmare that he could wake up from. But when he opened his eyes the gun was still facing him, and his fathers legs were twisted at an uncomfortable angle, with his feet bent below him. For about thirty minutes James stayed underneath the bed, and then he finally managed to venture out. _

_As he hoisted himself up from the floor he glanced towards his father. James drew back in horror, because he was so young, and couldn't understand why his father would do this. James swallowed down a lump in his throat as he continued to look at his dad. His father's dead eyes stared back at him with a cold glint. His arms were sprawled out on the bed, with one hand resting on his chest, and the other rested on James once clean sheets which were now bloody. James stepped back as he felt the tears threaten to fall down his cheeks. His dad had gotten him that comforter of a toy car which was now stained with blood._

_As he slowly walked back towards the door his father continued to stare back at him. His eyes were black, dead, and lifeless. His dad was dead. James felt his knees start to buckle but somehow he managed to remain standing. His blue eyes narrowed in on the hole in his father's chest right where his heart was supposed to have been. James bumped into the door, and then he turned around and walked unsteadily into the hallway. The world spun around him as he looked at the pictures of his family which still hung on the walls. He tried to call out for his mom, but his mouth suddenly went dry._

_Glass was shattered all over the floor. The place that he called home was in shambles. James bare feet nearly slipped on something warm, it was a kind of liquid. He stepped back as he looked down at the dots of crimson. His lips began to tremble as he crouched down to the ground. His small fingers trailed through the blood and then he looked down at his red coated fingertips._

_"He…some…help…" _

_James was startled by the tortured pleas for help coming from the den. His mom was hurt. He stood up and walked into the den. Pictures were strewn across the place. Pictures of happier times, when his family was actually happy. They were all smiling in the pictures, his mom, dad, and him…they were all smiling. _

_"Jam…baby," _

_James eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes when he saw his mom. He collapsed to the floor beside her. Blood was everywhere, she was bleeding profusely through her blouse, and her hand was clamped against the bullet wound, but the blood continued to pour. _

_"Mom," James said shakily unsure of what to do._

_His mom looked back at him sadly as she struggled to reach out for his hand with her free one. _

_"I'm going to get help," He said backing away from her. James knew he had to run to the phone or it would be too late, he had to hurry. As he forced himself up his mom croaked out his name with strained force._

_"I wish you didn't see this…" She coughed violently._

_James grinded his teeth together as he tried to force himself to move. He was supposed to be calling for help. "I'm calling the police."_

_"Jam…James,"_

_James eyebrows furrowed low over his eyes as his mom reached out her hand towards him. Since she wasn't strong enough her arm fell to the floor. Tears streamed down James face as he dropped down onto his knees._

_"Don't leave me."_

_"Mommy, I'm getting help," James choked out trying to keep his composure for his mom's sake. _

_She grabbed onto his hand tightly. "Just stay."_

_"Mommy…"_

_"I love y…" She winced in pain and then cried out._

_"Mommy," James whispered as he squeezed his mom's hand tighter. He placed his other hand over his mom's, and blinked away the tears as her blood leaked onto his hands. "It'll be okay,"_

_"James…I love you,"_

_"I love you too," James said weakly. His bottom lip trembled as he watched his mom's eyes roll back in her head. His small body heaved as he struggled to contain the sobs. "Mommy," James got behind her and lifted her head in his arms. "Don't leave me,"_

_"I love y…" Her eyes rolled back in her head once more, but James squeezed her hands once again. Tears streamed down her cheek. "You shouldn't have…James…" She coughed so violently that her legs started to shake._

_James held her tighter. He wasn't going to let his mom die. She wasn't going to die. She wasn't. Tears streamed down his cheek. His mom placed her shaking hand against James cheek, as she tried to wipe away his tears._

_"You shouldn't have seen this." Her eyelids fluttered close. "I don't have…the energy…I love you James…don't…you…ever…forget."_

_James buried his face in his mom's hair as he felt her body grow limp in his arms. Unable to move he stayed with his mom for at least two hours. Just holding her and silently praying that she would wake up, but when she didn't, he started to feel alone. James slowly stood up, his hands dropped down to his side and he walked back towards his room like a zombie._

_His movements were stiff, like a robot, he walked with one foot in front of the other. He couldn't cry anymore, because he had cried nonstop for the last couple of hours. As he stepped back into his room he looked at his father and then at the gun. He was alone, his parents were dead, and they had both died in front of him. James dropped back down onto the floor and crawled underneath the bed. He wished that if he closed his eyes, then it would all go away again. He scooted back against the wall, and held his arms to his chest. James closed his eyes and tried to convince himself that he had been dreaming. He imagined that when he woke up, his mom would be in the kitchen making breakfast, and his father would take him to play soccer at the park. Although, life hadn't been that way in a while, he needed something to believe in more than anything now. _

_But when he closed his eyes all he saw was his dad on his bed with his eyes looking back at him. James placed his hands over his eyes as he attempted once more to sleep. The gunshots rang once again in his ears, and he mentally pictured his dad shooting his mom. As he brought his hands away from his face James looked at them, his hands were covered with blood._

* * *

Sawyer let go of Taylor so quickly that he minus as well have pushed her away. He clenched his jaw as he stepped away from her unsteadily. There weren't many times when he could recall flashing back to his childhood when he was fully awake, usually he only saw that night in his nightmares. Sawyer turned away as he tried to gather his thoughts. Even though more than two decades had passed since his parents death reliving that night hadn't gotten any easier. He felt his tough exterior starting to crumble as he saw himself as a young boy hiding underneath the bed. He had to leave now. Sawyer stalked towards the door, and gripped the doorknob determined to leave, but before he could run, Taylor grabbed onto his arm. He wanted to yank his arm out of her grasp, and scold her for trying to make him stay. She wasn't a beggar, she had never been, and she didn't understand the kind of baggage he carried. Sawyer was doing her favor; he was leaving because she would be safer with him gone. Sawyer looked down at his hand on the doorknob. This wasn't an easy decision but he had to go.

"You knew I wasn't stayin," Sawyer replied in a low rasp. He had to bite the inside of his cheek in order to keep his emotions in check. He silently hoped that if he remained distant enough then it would be easier for Taylor to let him go.

"I never expected you to."

"So then why are you holding onto my arm?" Sawyer said gruffly. He tilted his head up to the ceiling as he silently scolded himself for having to be this way to her. "I stayed as long as I could, but I gotta go now, I got to leave."

Taylor sniffled. "I know you have to leave, James."

Sawyer blinked. His hand dropped away from the doorknob and he slowly turned to look at Taylor. He didn't know how to respond so he just looked back at her. His blue eyes were colder than usual, he needed to keep his distance, but that wasn't an easy feat with her. She broke down his walls, and next to Kate, Taylor was the only other person that understood him. But why would she call him James. Why now? Why, when he needed to leave, and especially after flashing back to the night of his parents death. The night that had changed him into the person he was today.

Taylor's eyes were brimming with tears and her lips were trembling.

Sawyer wanted to hold her but he couldn't. He squeezed his eyes shut as he ignored the urge to hold her in his arms again. Wipe away her tears, and cave in, stay with her and Chloe, because together they kept him human, and made him feel like he was worth their time.

"I'm not trying to make you stay. James…"

"You can call me Sawyer,"

Taylor looked down and stepped away from him.

He felt his eyes start to water, so he was thankful that Taylor turned away from him when she did. Gingerly he wiped away the tears. James cried, but Sawyer didn't. He was Sawyer now, James had died a long time ago, he had died along with his mom. And it was Sawyer that needed revenge. Sawyer clenched his fists as he tried to force himself to leave. He backed up towards the door. There was nothing he could do for Taylor except make her life worse, she would thank him for leaving.

"I love you,"

Sawyer clenched his jaw. He tried to tune out her words. She said she loved him, and he knew that, but he just didn't need to hear it. "I need to leave,"

"You can leave," Taylor said as she sunk down onto the couch. Her eyes focused on the spot where Timmy had died. There was a rug right over the spot because there was blood engrained in the wood that she couldn't clean. She had scrubbed and scrubbed for days determined to get out the blood, but her attempts had been in vain, because the blood remained. Taylor shivered as she realized that after Sawyer left, she would be all alone to deal with this mess on her own. But he had been kind enough to stay even though she hadn't asked him too. So she couldn't blame him for leaving.

"It's for the best," Sawyer said. He could've left a minute ago but for some reason he was still there. He reached for the doorknob once again but his hands dropped down to his sides. He took in a deep breath as he looked at Taylor. Before he came along she had been so happy, so easy going, and now here she was a disaster because of him. He had messed up her life. Sawyer scowled as a feeling of disgust washed over him. He released his clenched fists, because he was cutting off his circulation.

He loved her too. Sawyer's eyebrows dropped low over his eyes. He loved her too, and it wasn't just a passing feeling because he was leaving, but it was love. Sawyer stuffed his shaking hands in his jeans pockets. His heart was beating weakly, and he knew he was about to cave. "It's not fair ya know," He mumbled as he bent his head down low.

"Life isn't fair Sawyer, but what can you do." Taylor turned to look at him for a couple of seconds, and then she looked away. "I just thought I should tell you how I feel before you left."

Sawyer nodded in disdain. "I wish you didn't."

The words had slipped. He was thankful that Taylor wasn't watching him. Anger washed over him now because he still couldn't force himself to leave.

"Why did you call me James?" Sawyer whispered as he narrowed his eyes at her waiting for a response.

"Because that's your name," Taylor said quietly. She forced herself up and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "I know the truth, and I've always known…"

"You don't know…"

"I do,"

"You don't!" Sawyer yelled.

Taylor's mouth dropped open as she looked back at him. Sawyer's emotions were so raw right now; she had never seen him so worked up. His face was red, and his eyes were wide. "Then I don't know,"

"No, you don't." Sawyer's mouth twisted into a look of pain and he had to look away as tears started to stream down his face. "I've got to leave, because I can't do this. I can't get into this now…I've got to…"

"You were just a child…"

"I'm not a child no more."

Taylor glanced towards Chloe's bedroom as she cautiously stepped closer to Sawyer. She couldn't ask him to stay, and she wouldn't, but she could be there for him. Taylor reached out to place her hand on Sawyer's back but he pulled away like a child.

"I don't need your damn sympathy!"

"I'm not giving you my sympathy." Taylor cried. "You're leaving okay, and I'm probably never going to see you again, so forgive me for caring Sawyer."

Sawyer stalked away from Taylor. He sat down on the ledge of the couch and stared at the floor with a hardened expression. Why did this have to happen now? He breathed in and out, but his breaths were ragged and sounded more along the lines of hyperventilation than normal breathing. Sawyer closed his eyes as he tried to ignore the fact that he had allowed himself to be exposed. He had to keep his act together until he left by focusing on his revenge. Not the sight of him as a child holding his mom. Sawyer placed his hands to his forehead as the pressure began to become too much.

Taylor sat down on the floor in front of him. "I know you want me to just leave you alone, but I can't."

"Go away,"

"Sawyer," Taylor said reaching for his hands. She wanted to call him James, but she knew that would only make him more upset. He seemed to recover slightly from hearing her call him Sawyer. Taylor wiped away her steady tears as she reached for Sawyer's hands. "You have to be the most difficult man I know, but you know what you don't scare me. You can push me away all you want too, but until you walk out that door, I'm not going to ignore you."

"Just stop…"

Taylor closed her mouth as she heard the tone of Sawyer's voice. He sounded completely different from himself. She swallowed down a lump in her throat as he looked back at her. The expression on his face was so tortured that it broke her soul. He didn't need to say anything to make her cry. Just that look alone was enough, no longer did she see "Sawyer" but for a brief second she saw James a child who had watched both of his parents die. She had to look down because she could no longer take it.

"You want to know why I don't want to be called James." Sawyer spat in a withdrawn speech like tone. He groaned as he wiped away the tears that had fallen down his face. Sawyer clenched his jaw. "You don't know anything about me, no one does, and I like it better that way. I don't like to let people in…and I don't wanna let you in."

Taylor nodded slowly.

"I haven't thought about that night in a while. I was almost lucky enough to have forgotten, what a lucky son of a bitch I would've been if I have…but I'm not meant to forget, I've got to remember so I can get him." Sawyer clenched his fists once again. "I've gotta remember so I can kill him."

His tone had changed again. Taylor slowly stood up from the floor and sat down on the couch next to him. "You've dedicated your whole life to finding this man so you could kill him."

"And when I do find him, Sawyer, I'm gonna give him a message that he'll never forget." Sawyer cracked his knuckles as he looked away distantly. His rage for "Sawyer" was returning, it was always easier this way to push aside James, and focus on "Sawyer" the man that had ruined his life. "Once I kill that motherfucker I can move on with my life…"

Taylor reached for Sawyer's hands.

He looked down at his hand in hers. Sawyer tried to pull away but Taylor placed her other hand on top of his.

"So you want to kill him,"

"Yeah I want to kill him." Sawyer growled.

"Will that make you feel any better Sawyer? Will killing him bring back your parents, or make you complete." Taylor looked down at her hands on top of Sawyer's. "You were just a child. None of what happened was your fault."

Sawyer's thoughts shifted to Chloe. "Well it sure doesn't matter now does it?"

Taylor shook her head, "It does matter, because it's affected you your whole life." She carefully brought her hands towards Sawyer's face, and hesitated before she pulled a strand of his blonde hair away from his ear.

He grabbed her hand.

Taylor gasped, and then Sawyer turned to look at her.

His eyes softened and he let go of her hand.

"Sawyer, I know you have to leave, and that's why I told you that I love you. There are lots of things that I want to tell you but I can't because now isn't the right time, and I don't ever think there will be a right time." Taylor paused to take in a deep breath. "Life has been a rollercoaster since you, Jack, and Kate came to live with us…"

"It would've been better if we never ran into you."

"No, I wouldn't have changed that…I was so happy that day when I saw you. I had thought I would never see you again and I had prepared myself for that." Taylor wiped at her tears. "I had to pinch myself that day, because I couldn't believe that it was you Sawyer. I couldn't believe it, and I still can't believe…"

"How do you deal with it?"

"What?" Taylor asked surprised.

Sawyer clenched his jaw. He turned away in disdain and searched for a way to rephrase his question. "A man killed himself right in your house, but somehow you continue on."

"I pray that it'll go away, but something like that never goes away Sawyer. So all I can do is hope, and just have faith that one day it'll be okay again."

Sawyer allowed his body to relax against the chair a little. "I don't know how faith is gonna give me my revenge."

"Well I believe in heaven." Taylor said quietly.

Sawyer remained silent.

"And I believe in God,"

Sawyer looked towards the door.

"If it wasn't for my faith then I don't think I could go on, because if I don't have anything better to believe in besides death and pain then I'll become a slave to my fears, and I can't…"

"The only thing I have to believe in is my revenge because it's all I've got left." Sawyer muttered. He noticed that Taylor removed her hand from his. "I should leave, it's the third time I said it but I have to go."

"It is the third time," Taylor passed Sawyer a weak smile.

He stared at her a while longer hoping that she would read his mind without him having to voice his feelings but she just looked back at him with that forced smile. That fragile smile that gave away the fact that she was on the verge of tears once again. "Thank you,"

Taylor was surprised. Her mouth dropped open but she quickly recovered. "You're welcome Sawyer,"

"I probably won't ever see you again."  
Taylor bit her lip. "I know," She stood up and walked over to him as he stood up. "Can I hug you?"

Sawyer nodded slowly. He closed his eyes as Taylor wrapped her arms around him. Sawyer rested his chin against her head and breathed in the scent of her shampoo as he relaxed his body against hers. "I was never good with goodbyes, that's why I usually never say them…but you deserve one." Sawyer exhaled as he placed his hands on Taylor's arms. If his life wasn't so messed up, then he could see himself staying with her and Chloe, and attempting to rebuild his life but Sawyer knew that wasn't possible. "No one calls me James,"

Taylor nodded.

"No one but the dead." Sawyer swallowed down a lump in his throat, "But…you can call me James."

Taylor's eyebrows lowered over her eyes as she passed Sawyer a smile laced with sadness and relief. "I can call you James, thank you."

Sawyer sighed as he bit his lip. "No matter how much I try to keep myself focused on revenge, you mess me up…Taylor, you mess me up. Since I'm leaving, and never coming back 'round this way, I just thought I should let you know that."

"James," Taylor whispered.

Sawyer closed his eyes. It was hard hearing her call him James under these circumstances. He inched towards the door and then successfully managed to open it. It was a little windy outside, and the fog hovered low over the ground. "What?"

"There are some things about each other that we'll never know, but what I said earlier I meant. I thank you for staying here longer, you didn't have to do it, but you did and I appreciate it." Taylor placed her hand on Sawyer's heart.

Sawyer stepped back, but Taylor kept her hand there.

"See, your heart does beat just like everyone else's." She shook her head as she wiped a tear from underneath her eyes. "You should go before I try to keep you longer."

"I…" Sawyer exhaled.

"You what?" Taylor asked hopefully.

Before he could tell her that he loved her as well Sawyer turned around and walked outside. He struggled to keep walking straight ahead, before he convinced himself that staying was the right thing to do. Sawyer opened the door and got inside the truck. Leave. Just back out of the driveway without looking at her. He fumbled around with the keys, as he tried to ignore the voice in his head that was telling him to stay.

"Damn it," He growled as the keys fell to the floor. Sawyer snatched them up aggressively and forced them into the keyhole. He turned them, and then engine started with a roar. Sawyer shifted the gear into reverse and backed out. Once out of the dirt driveway he turned towards the house, Taylor waved at him and then closed the door behind her.

* * *

Kate looked around the dark room in frustration. She couldn't get to sleep no matter how hard she tried. And at the moment she envied Jack's snores beside her. At first she had thought it was cute, the soft snoring, and the occasional murmurs, but now she was irritated. He talked in his sleep, but she wasn't sure what about. It was hot in the hotel room; even though she had turned off the heat a while ago it was still unbearable. Kate pulled the covers off of her and swung her legs over the bed.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked with a yawn as he reached for her wrist.

"I can't go to sleep, I don't know why, but I just can't." Kate sighed to herself as she walked over to the chair by the window. The thing that bothered her the most was that she wanted to go to sleep, because she wanted to stay up with Jack on the way to Kentucky. Kate sat down and then rested her arm on the table. She stared ahead deep in thought.

The light turned on.

Kate squinted over at Jack as she watched him check his watch. "It's early, I know,"

"Have you gotten any sleep at all?"

"No, I can't sleep."

"Did you forget to tell me that you have insomnia?" Jack teased as he laid down on his pillow. He pulled the sheets off of him and they fell to the floor. Jack looked over the bed debating whether he should pick them up now or later, and ultimately he decided on later. "You okay Kate?"

"I was." Kate shrugged.

"You were?" Jack sat up. He placed his hands on the bed as he braced himself to stand.

"You don't have to get up," Kate replied quickly. "I'm fine Jack,"

"Well what are you thinking about?" Jack's hands eased around the mattress edge as he continued sitting.

"I just sat down now, and then I started to think about Sawyer, Chloe and Taylor. Jack we haven't even called them." Kate said sadly. "We could've at least called."

"We'll call them."

"We had the opportunity to call them a while ago, but a part of me didn't want too."

Jack looked back at Kate.

"I mean we're not there to see what's going on. What if something bad happened to them? I was so focused on getting myself together that I tried to block out everything horrible that happened in North Carolina. Maybe I'm selfish, but I just needed time."

"I know,"

"But I love them though. Taylor, Chloe, and Sawyer. I do care about them Jack."

"Kate, I know."

"I just needed time." Kate repeated as she rested back in the chair. She exhaled and looked at Jack who was passing her a warm smile. "But I feel stronger now, and I think I'm ready to call them."

"Right now might be a little too late,"

"Tomorrow then?"

"We can call them tomorrow."

Kate smiled as she rested her cheek against her hand. "I can't thank Taylor enough for taking us in, and Chloe, she's the most beautiful child I've ever seen. They're such a warm family, so giving, and kind. They took us in like we were part of the family."

"And I felt like part of the family,"

"Me too," Tears of joy welled in Kate's eyes at the thought of making cookies with Chloe on Sunday morning. She didn't like to bake, but Chloe had always begged her to, and she couldn't resist the child. "I wonder how Sawyer is doing."

"Probably the same, insulting people left and right, and walking around like he's the smartest guy on the face of the earth."

"You know he's not that bad."

"He's not,"

Kate looked back at Jack with a wide smile. "Can you repeat that for me?"

Jack rolled his eyes as Kate jumped up and threw her arms around his neck. He fell back onto the bed as Kate kept him trapped in a bear hug. "I just said he's not that bad."

Kate kissed him on the cheek. "So when Sawyer comes back that means you guys have to kiss and makeup!"

"Let's not go that far, but I don't have any negative feelings towards him Kate." Jack looked at Kate. He tucked her thick locks behind her ears as he looked into her beautiful eyes. "We talked about this in North Carolina, you know even though I don't always like Sawyer, or approve of the things he does…I know that you like him, and approve of him, so he's alright with me."

"He's misunderstood,"

"I think he wants it to be that way." Jack replied as he gave Kate a nod.

* * *

Taylor stepped into Chloe's room. She flipped on the light switch when she noticed that Chloe was standing by the window. Her back was turned and she was looking out at the driveway.

Taylor bit her lip as she tried to control her tears. She couldn't cry now because she had to keep it together for her daughter. "Chloe,"

Chloe allowed her hand to drop from the curtain. She turned around slowly and then sat down along the windowsill. Her eyes were trained down on the floor and her hands were folded in her lap. She closed her eyes and a single tear fell down her cheek. "Sawyer left,"

"You don't have to be scared," Taylor said as she rushed over to Chloe. She dropped down on her knees and held her daughter's hands. "We're going to be okay, I promise you honey. Nothing is going to happen."

Chloe's bottom lip trembled and then a rush of tears fell down her face. "Mommy, what are we going to do? What if someone else comes, how are we going to stay safe. I don't want anyone to hurt us."

"No one is going to hurt us,"

Chloe wrapped her arms around Taylor's neck and rested her face against her mom's shoulder. "Why did Sawyer leave us?"

"He couldn't stay, but he said that he will be back." Taylor winced at the lie that she had just told.

"He's not coming back, he won't ever."

A car was heard entering the driveway. Taylor looked up in surprise. She wiped the tears away from her eyes as she pulled back the curtains. Chloe released her arms from around Taylor's neck. Taylor raised an eyebrow as she looked out into the driveway. There was a car parked outside, but it wasn't the truck Sawyer left in.

Chloe pulled back the curtains wider. Taylor reached for Chloe's hand and pulled it away. "Wait a second sweetheart. I don't know who that is."

Chloe gripped onto Taylor's shirt tighter. "Who is it?"

"I don't know?"

The headlights were flipped on.

Taylor winced. She shielded her eyes from the bright lights as she tried to figure out if she recognized the car in her driveway.

"Mommy," Chloe said with wide eyes.

"Its okay, someone probably just ended up in the wrong place and they'll turn around." Taylor reassured.

The door opened and two guys stepped out, two abnormally tall guys. They both had to be at least 6'5, and the scariest thing about them both was that Taylor couldn't see their faces. Tears welled in her eyes as her body was overtaken with fear. She held Chloe tighter to her as she started to cry. Who were these men and why were they at her house? Taylor dashed towards the light and quickly flipped it off. She joined Chloe back on the floor and held her in her arms.

"I'm scared…who are they…what do they want." Chloe's words were mixed together and she could barley breathe. "We have to call the police…we have to call them."

The phone was outside. Taylor glanced towards the hall, and bit her lip nervously. Although, she still didn't know what the guys wanted she was going to call the police. Due to the events that had occurred in the last couple of weeks she had developed paranoia. Taylor kissed Chloe on top of the forehead. "I'm going to be right back okay,"

"No, just wait until they leave." Chloe begged.

"But I need to get the phone just in case…"

"I'll get it," Chloe offered shakily.

"No, no, you stay here, and I promise I'll be right back."

"No," Chloe cried. She squeezed her eyes shut as she wrapped her arms around Taylor once again. "Don't go, don't leave me…please."

"Sweetie, I'll be right back. Just one second okay," Taylor cupped Chloe's chin in her hand, "Just one second, that's all it'll take, and I'll be right back. I promise."

Chloe refused to loosen her grip around Taylor, so her mom reached for Chloe's hands and held them.

There was a knock at the door.

. "Don't answer it…don't do it." Chloe pleaded.

"I'm not going to answer the door." Taylor glanced over her shoulder when she heard another knock. "I'll be right back, but until I get back…" She pushed back the comforter which was hanging over the edge of the bed. "Hide under there until I get back…"

"Mom…"

"Chloe, please do it for me." Taylor kissed Chloe once more. She was probably overreacting but she didn't want to take any chances. "Now sweetie,"

"I love you,"

"I love you too," Taylor replied as she smoothed down Chloe's golden curls. "Now, go ahead and don't come out until I come back."

"Okay," Chloe murmured. She got underneath the bed and watched as Taylor pulled back down the comforter with glistening eyes. "I…love…you." She mouthed once more.

Taylor forced herself up and walked towards the door. She closed the door behind her and then walked quickly towards the phone all the while looking towards the front. Her heart was in her throat, and she was walking as quickly as possible.

The banging on the door intensified.

"Please God, Please…" Taylor whispered as she reached for the phone with shaking hands.

The knocking stopped and then the sound of shattering glass pierced through the night air, followed by Chloe's screams.

* * *

Sawyer pulled into the lot of a deserted gas station. He was still going to leave, and he wasn't going back. But he just needed time to think and make sure he was making the right decision. Damn his conscious. Or maybe it was more than just his conscious; there was no denying that he truly did care about Taylor and Chloe. He could even say that he loved them in the privacy of his own fucked up thoughts. Sawyer killed the engine as he looked around at the deadness of the gas station. The little mart was abandoned and the glass from the windows was shattered. Someone used to work there, but not anymore. The station was abandoned, empty, and dead. Sawyer looked down at his hands as he rested his head against the headrest. He wasn't sure if leaving would make Taylor and Chloe any safer, he had stayed with them long enough to put them in a great deal of danger regardless. And even though the guys after him hadn't been around in a while that didn't mean that they weren't waiting for the perfect time to strike.

"Shit," Sawyer grumbled. It wasn't like him to find reasons to stay in one place. Usually he was able to remove himself from people with ease. He was never one to grow attachments, but lately he had been slipping. And he was afraid that would be his downfall. He needed to leave, continue on his own, but yet here he was in the parking lot of a deserted gas station stalling.

He was in love with Taylor it was as simple as that. Well, it wasn't simple but that's what it was. James loved Taylor. Because of the way she made him feel, the way she cared, and gave him unconditional love even though it wasn't always what he wanted. Taylor made him take a second look at what he was doing, he was still hell bent on getting revenge, but yet at some extremely off times he wanted to focus on Taylor and stay with her. Sawyer clenched his jaw as he looked ahead.

She was the only thing that he had to hold onto. He had a choice, he could keep his revenge and let it consume him until there was nothing left, or else he could go back. Sawyer placed his balled fist to mouth as it started to tremble. He loved Taylor. She had broken him down to the point where he was actually considering staying with her. What could he do for her if he stayed? Probably not a damn thing, but at the moment he didn't care. Even if he just dropped by to explain to Taylor why he had to leave, that would be better than just leaving without any closure. For the first time in his life he needed some kind of closure.

Sawyer started the engine back up. He sighed to himself as he backed out of the parking lot.

* * *

"Chloe!" Taylor screamed. The phone dropped from her hand as she ran towards the room. She threw open the door and watched in fear as one of them men that was outside climbed into the house. Taylor frantically searched around for a weapon, but it was too late, he was inside. Before Taylor could find anything the masked man grabbed her by her arm.

"Not so fast,"

Taylor's eyes widened in fear as she looked into the man's cold blue eyes. She couldn't see his face because it was hidden behind a mask. She struggled to free herself from his grasp, but he was too tall and strong.

"Don't fight me. It'll be easier that way." He barked.

Taylor cried as his beefy hands tightened around her wrist, he pulled her further away from the bed. "Wh…what…what do you want!"

"We don't want you." The man growled as he signaled for his partner to come in as well. "We want Sawyer,"

Taylor watched in horror as the other man stepped inside. He had a gun in his hand, which he tossed to the man holding Taylor. "He's not here,"

"Where is he?" The man asked aggressively as he tightened his grip on Taylor's arm. "You know don't ya, where is he?"

"I don't know,"

"Yes you do." The man jerked Taylor roughly.

She cried out in pain. Taylor silenced her fears as best she could by biting down on her lip. She was afraid that Chloe would come from underneath the bed. She closed her eyes as she tried to find the strength to keep it together. "I don't know where he is."

"Unbelievable…how loyal you stay to the bastard. He leaves you alone once and some psycho nearly blows off your head and your daughters…"

Taylor's eyes widened as she tried to control her nervous shaking. She winced in pain as the man's grip around her arm tightened. How did they know all of this?

"If only he left then we wouldn't be here now would we? If only he followed Jack and Kate to Kentucky…"

Taylor gasped.

The man pulled off his mask. "My father died because of that bitch Sawyer. Thanks to a con your main man pulled on my family…a bunch of us died."

Taylor looked away in horror.

"Him and Hibbs. Since then we've been following him. Hibbs dropped off the face of the earth, we can't find him, but we will, but as for Sawyer it's always been easy to track him down. We've watched him for about a year now and he's been none the wiser. We could've killed him a long time ago and we should have…but then we figured we shouldn't put him out of his misery just yet. He wants to die. By killing him we would be doing him a favor, so we decided against it. We decided to wait, and instead take out the ones closest to him first." The man looked down at the bed.

Taylor looked down as well, but then quickly looked back at him with an unfaltering expression. She prayed that he couldn't tell that Chloe was underneath the bed.

"And unfortunately for you, we've decided to kill you."

Taylor's mouth dropped. She turned her head away from the man in front of her, and started to cry as quietly as possible. She felt the other guy press the gun into her back. "Please, don't do this…"

"Blood for blood. He has to pay somehow, and believe me you're just the beginning…Giancarlo get the little girl."

"Wait…stop!" Taylor screamed as she watched "Giancarlo" dive underneath the bed. She fought back as the man grabbed a screaming Chloe. "Get your hands off of her!"

"Mommy!"

"Get off of her!" Taylor screamed. She fought back, by punching at the man behind her, and stepping on his feet while trying to wring her arms free, but he was way to strong. And the more she fought the more pain he caused. Taylor pleaded for them to let Chloe go, but the two men ignored her cries. She was roughly pushed out the door. Taylor's arms flung around wildly as she tried to get to Chloe. Her daughter's screams had stopped. "Don't touch her! Chloe! Chloe!" Taylor screamed at the top of her lungs. Salty tears were cascading down her cheeks nonstop, and she was still fighting, fighting with all of her might.

The man let her go. He pushed her forward and she fell down to the ground.

Taylor jumped up seeing the sudden release as her opportunity to help Chloe. She was scared, but she refused to let it consume her, because she had to get to her daughter. The world moved in slow motion as Taylor brought one foot in front of the other, she just had to get to the door. The man stepped aside. She didn't have time to think. Chloe. Chloe. Chloe.

A gunshot echoed throughout the still air.

Taylor screamed in agony as she fell forwards. She hit the ground with a hard thud. The intense pain coursing through her body caused her to writhe in distress. Taylor gagged as she tried to ignore the pain. She struggled to fill her lungs with air before she succumbed to the pain. With each movement she made she felt the bullet sink in deeper.

She gave one last scream before she collapsed against the floor. She couldn't stop, she couldn't. Taylor dug her nails into the floor as she tried to push herself forward. The pain was all she could think about, but she had to get to Chloe…she had too.

The man walked slowly in front of Taylor. His boots creaked against the floor with every step, and then he stopped. "Give him a message if you see him before we do…" The man bent down and then looked into Taylor's eyes. "Tell him…"

Taylor coughed violently. She groaned as her insides start to ache and the bitter taste of blood filled her mouth. Helpless cries came from her mouth, and tears of regret filled her eyes. "Ch…Chloe!" She cried.

Chloe didn't respond.

"Wh…where…is she…" Taylor fell onto the ground banging her fists because that's all she could do. She no longer had the strength to crawl. She was too weak.

"Tell him, that this is only the beginning." The man stood back up and then turned around. "It's unfortunate really." He aimed the gun back at Taylor. "Ashes to Ashes…Dust to Dust…"

* * *

Ten minutes later Sawyer pulled the truck back into Taylor's driveway. He thought about turning around, but it made no sense if he was only going to stay for no longer than an hour at the most. Sawyer closed his eyes as he turned off the ignition. He hoped that she was still up. For some reason he expected that he would still find her in the den crying. Sawyer opened the door, a cool breeze greeted him. He wasn't sure whether to be excited or not when he noticed that the lights were still on. Taylor was still awake. He walked unsteadily towards the front door.

Something wasn't right. An eerie feeling washed over him. Sawyer stopped in his tracks and looked around. He turned to glance behind him and then looked towards the woods. The quietness irked him. The sound of crickets chirping nearby suddenly broke the stillness. Sawyer started to walk again towards the door. His eyes rested on Chloe's room. His mouth dropped open in horror when he saw the large hole in the glass. Someone had broken in.

Sawyer ran towards the house. The door was open so he threw it open. "Tay…" He nearly fell backwards until he braced himself by grabbing onto the doorframe. No words could express the sight in front of him, his eyes opened wide and he started to shake. Sawyer's grip tightened on the doorframe so he could keep himself from loosing his balance. He tried to breathe in and out, but his attempts weren't working. Sawyer's stomach was churning and he felt as if he was going to be sick.

After a minute Sawyer's hands dropped down to his sides, but he still remained where he stood. His eyes were filling with tears but he wouldn't allow them to shed. He wasn't going to cry. He couldn't. Sawyer clenched his jaw as anger surged through his body. His fists tightened dangerously, and his veins popped with determination. Someone shot her. Adrenaline coursed through his veins. Whoever did this to her he was going to kill! He was going to find a gun and shoot them, shoot them just the way they had shot her. Sawyer turned around unable to see more. He closed his eyes. He had to get a gun, he needed to find the bitch that shot Taylor, he needed to find them…he had too.

Sawyer made it halfway to the car before he collapsed to the ground. He breathed in an out once again. He balled up his fists gathering dust and rocks. Tears fell down his face like rain as he tried to control himself. He had to kill them he had too. But he could only cry harder. Sawyer threw back his head and he let out an angry yell. With his fists he hit the ground with aggression, his fists started to bleed, but all he could see was Taylor.

"Taylor," Sawyer whispered. He bit his lip as he tried to control the shaking. Sawyer clenched his jaw as he envisioned himself getting in the truck to go and find a gun. He couldn't breathe because he had been withholding oxygen from his lungs. "Fuck!" Sawyer yelled.

He threw up, and struggled to breathe once more. With shaking arms he pushed himself up. He was angry. Angry as hell. And someone needed to pay. Someone needed to pay. He stalked towards the truck and opened the door, but then he stopped. Taylor was shot. The realization hit him over again. Now he wasn't sure if he wanted revenge or if he just wanted to go back in there and be with her. Sawyer stood there for a while scared to go back in. Images of himself as a child going to help his mom before she died filled his mind. He looked down at his hands and closed his eyes as he saw her blood.

He couldn't go in there. Sawyer placed his foot inside the truck, but one foot was all he got in before he realized that he needed to go back inside. Sawyer stepped back and like a zombie he walked back towards the house. "Taylor,"

He closed his eyes as he walked over to her. Sawyer placed his hand to his mouth as he debated whether he wanted to get any closer. He dropped down onto his knees and just looked at her for a while. She was so pale, and blood covered her clothes. Sawyer shook his head as he looked at her. He loved her, and she loved him, no matter how screwed up he was, she had loved him. Sawyer reached out and brought Taylor into his arms. He studied her as tears coursed down his cheeks. No matter how unfeeling he wanted to be now, he couldn't control his emotions. Sawyer rested his cheek against Taylor as he held her tighter to him. Her arm dropped loosely by his sides.

"I'm going to kill whoever did this to you! I'm going to kill them!" He turned his face to the side and buried his face in her hair. Sawyer wrapped his arms around her tighter as if holding her dearly would bring her back to life. "I…I love you, I love you." Sawyer kissed Taylor's pale cheek. "I love you."

"Saw…yer,"

Sawyer pulled away in shock. His eyes widened as he wiped away the tears briskly. "Taylor…"

She looked back at him weakly. Her eyelids closed but Sawyer shook her gently.

"Stay with me. I'm going to get you help!"

"Sawye…" Taylor coughed violently she grabbed onto Sawyer's shoulders as she spit up blood.

Sawyer turned away unable to bear the sight. He was going to save her. He picked her up in his arms, she groaned in pain, as her blood fell onto his hands. Sawyer carried her towards the door. "You're not going to die."

"Sawyer…it hurts too much. I'm bleeding…I'm bleeding a lot aren't I…"

"No," He lied.

"I feel it." Taylor's head fell back slightly but Sawyer steadied her head in his arms like a baby. "Don't worry…" She coughed again. "about me…they have Chloe."

Sawyer clenched his jaw. They. She must be talking about the people after him. Rage clouded over his mind, but he couldn't allow it to take over just yet. "I'm going to get her back, but you just have to hold on."

"I love you Sawyer,"

"Don't you dare tell me you're goodbyes…"

Taylor's grip loosed on Sawyer's shoulder.

"Taylor!" He yelled. Sawyer dropped down onto the ground as he tried to keep her awake. He cupped her chin in his hands. "Look at me! Taylor, don't you dare! Look at me…"

"I see you…and you're beautiful." She said hazily.

"Taylor…"

"Save Chloe…save our daughter." Taylor whispered. She coughed once more, and her face twisted into agony as she started to give into her pain. "She's yours Sawyer….she's your daughter."

Sawyer didn't have time to make sense of what Taylor was saying. "Taylor, just hold on." He picked her up once more and stood up determined to get her to the hospital.

Taylor drew one last breath before her head fell against Sawyer's chest.

Sawyer looked down at her. He cried once again when he looked down at her open eyes which were looking back at him. "Taylor…"

There was no response. She was dead.


	23. Run

Thank you everyone that reviewed the last chapter. I greatly appreciated you're reviews, and the feedback because the last chapter was a turning point in the story, and I really put so much into that chapter just because the chapter was primarily focused on Sawyer and Taylor, and him having to say goodbye. From here on I'm about to step up the action and shift back into the 'Outlaws and their Girl' on the run/from place to place style. A reunion between Jack, Kate and Sawyer in on the way:)

Chapter 23- Run

The sound of loud knocks on the door jilted Kate awake. She placed her hand to her rapidly beating heart as her green orbs scanned the darkened hotel room in fear. Kate's curly chestnut locks were matted to her oval shaped face with perspiration in tangles. Kate brushed her hair aside and then planted her hand firmly on the sheets. What time was it? She had to be hallucinating. Kate's hand dropped to her mouth as she turned around to look at Jack. She had already woken him up a couple times that night so she didn't want to bother him with her panic attacks. She took in a deep breath and then tried to calm her nerves.

Kate wrapped her arms around her body as she tried to ignore the chill that was running through her bones. She had this horrid feeling that something was wrong. Kate bit her lip as she cautiously stood up. Her heart was still racing a mile a minute because she was pretty sure she had heard a loud knock. She swallowed nervously as she approached the door. Her footsteps echoed on the floor with empty thuds.

Jack stirred. He wrapped his arms around Kate's pillow expecting to feel her warm body but when he realized that her presence was absent he opened his eyes. "Kate?" he murmured.

Kate turned to face him. "Go back to sleep Jack,"

He sat up and wiped his eyes tiredly, "Did you get any sleep at all?" He patted the spot on the bed next to him. "Come back to bed baby,"

"Just hold on one second," Kate debated whether she should tell Jack about the knocks, but decided against it since she had been the only one to hear it. Especially since things had been pretty sane between them the last couple of days.

"Are you hungry or something?" Jack pulled back the covers and stood up. He stretched out his arms, flexing the muscles in his back, and then dropping his arms down to his sides. A yawn escaped his throat as he reached for the keys. "Where to?"

"What?" Kate asked quietly still intent on checking out the noise. She looked towards the door suspiciously and then back at Jack who was reaching for his pants.

"You don't have to get dressed." Kate said.

Jack smirked, "So what, I'm going to pull up to a McDonald's drive through bare-chested and in boxers?"

Kate fought the urge to make a comment about that not being such a bad idea. Jack walked over to her and then placed his hand on her arm. She could see the concern in his hazel eyes, the same concern she had seen too many times to count. Kate's stomach lurched at the thought of Jack worrying over her again. His hand dropped down to her back and he massaged her gently, moving his hand around in calming circles.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing,"

"Kate," Jack said softly. He stood in front of her and then reached for her hands like a parent would to a child that was lying. He flinched when Kate pulled her hands away. Jack took in a deep breath but continued to look at Kate in hopes that she would talk to him. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"No, I just…" Kate placed her hand against the side of her face. She used to be so good at lying but these days her skills were waning. "I thought I heard something."

"Where?" Jack asked a little startled.

Kate placed her hand against his chest, "Calm down,"

"I am calm,"

Kate shook her head, "You're getting jumpy which is the main reason why I didn't wan to tell you,"

"I'm not jumpy, I'm calm," Jack lied as he tried to recompose himself. He placed his hands on Kate's arms and guided her away from the window. "Where did you hear this noise?"

""The door,"

Jack's hands dropped from Kate's arms as he narrowed his eyes to the door. Kate lunged out and grabbed his arm bringing him back towards her. "What are you doing?"

"I know what you're going to do, and you can't do that."

"I have to check."

"What are you going to do just swing open the door and step outside with your hands raised?" Kate shook her head. "And if someone is out there, then you could get shot and I'm not going to let that happen." Kate didn't want to take any chances. "It could be the Marshal he could've found me."

Jack balled his fists. He wasn't going to let the Marshal take Kate. Jack paced the floor as he tried to think of a way out of the hotel if the Marshal was outside, or even worse Sawyer's 'friends.'

Kate moved over to their suitcase and then brought it onto the bed. "Maybe I heard something…maybe I didn't."

"We can't take chances," Jack said as he walked over to her. "Kate, I'm going to keep you safe I swear I'm not going to let anything happen to you,"

"I swear the same, we've come too far," Kate opened the suitcase and then started to search around. She felt Jack looming over her and she suspected that he didn't have a plan which was unusual for Jack. Kate sighed in relief when her hands rested against the cold metal. It was a wonder to her how Jack hadn't found the gun yet even though they had been sharing a suitcase.

"Where did you get that?"

"Don't ask," Kate rolled her eyes towards him. "You've softened me a little, but I'm still a fugitive, with something to protect." Kate took off the safety. "Hopefully I won't have to use this,"

"If anyone has to use the gun it should be me," Jack whispered as he held out his hand.

"We can't argue about this now. Turn off the lights."

"I don't want you to have the guilt on your hands of killing anyone," Jack whispered in her ear as he placed his hands on Kate's shoulder.

"I already have the guilt of murder on my conscious, and if anyone is out there after us, it'll be self defense." Kate bit her lip as she looked back at Jack. "Would you think I was a monster if I told you I would kill someone that tried to hurt you without a shred of regret?"

Jack stared back at Kate in silence for a couple of seconds and then answered. "No,"

"The same goes for Sawyer, Taylor and Chloe. When the people I love are in danger I fight back…because at the end of the day that's all I have. Now Jack, please turn off the lights," Kate watched as he hesitated at first and then walked over to the light in his boxer briefs. If someone was watching them then they probably got a kick out of all of the night's activities. Kate frowned at the thought of someone watching her sleep with Jack. She was brought back to reality by Jack bumping into her shoulder. Kate looked up at him. "Maybe I'm wrong and we're alone, but just in case…" Kate placed her hand on his shoulder and brought him to the ground. Together they took refuge behind the bed with their heads raised so the could look towards the window. "The downtime was fun while it lasted."

Jack cautiously looked at the gun in Kate's hand. "Kate, let me hold it."

"No Jack!" She exclaimed.

He bit his tongue in order to hold the 'I'm a better shot than you' comment that was on the tip of his tongue. As if Kate could read his mind she glanced over at him with narrowed green saucers.

"I am just as good of a shot as you Shephard if not better," Kate declared.

Jack just nodded trying to withhold the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Kate hit him.

"What?"

Kate looked towards the window once more slightly paranoid. "We've been in a lot of tight situations and I haven't exactly sat back and played the damsel in distress…I've been kicking ass right along with you."

Jack snorted, "You make this ordeal sound fun."

Kate placed down the gun so she could wipe her clammy hand along the bed spread, "Well it hasn't been fun obviously with all the breakdowns I've had along the way, but if it wasn't for all of this…" Kate motioned around with her hands. "Then we would've never met."

For a second Jack lost all recollection of the possible outside intruder as he stared into Kate's eyes. He loved when she was honest with him, because he knew how difficult it had been for her to start opening up to him in the first place. "I want to kiss you now,"

"With a gun in my hand?"

"It just makes you look that much sexier,"

Kate grinned and then placed her hand underneath his chin as she brought him closer. "If we're still safe and sound in a couple of hours, then you know what I want to do."

"It seems barely appropriate to talk about that now."

"Yeah," Kate looked away.

"But I agree, after we're clear then we can have a little 'us' time…oh but um…" Jack scratched his head. "One problem,"

"What,"

"No more condoms,"

Kate bit her lip, "Shit, okay we'll have to work something out later but…my god, okay let's concentrate. There could be someone outside waiting to kill us or put us underneath the jail and here we are talking about sex,"

"We are practically married."

Kate smiled, "Still, we have to focus. I was really scared earlier because I thought I heard something but I'm starting to believe that it wasn't anything." She tilted her head to the right to get a better view of the window. Eerie shadows bounced off the paned glass windows making it look as if someone was standing right outside.

An engine revved outside loudly which startled Kate temporarily. Her eyebrows furrowed low over her eyes. "Did you hear that?"

"Of course," Jack said.

"Good, just making sure I'm not going crazy." Kate reached for Jack's hand with her other. Her heart rate had increased once again and the nagging feeling that something wasn't right clouded over her once more. She squeezed Jack's hand tighter as then engine revved louder. Kate bit her lip. "Someone's outside,"

Jack nodded, "I know,"

"I think it's them," Kate said through her teeth. She raised the gun and then placed it on the bed close by. "So I did hear something…" Kate rummaged around in the bag for the money Taylor had given them right before leaving. "I'm going to violate you for a second," She whispered.

Jack stared back at Kate in confusion through the dark. She used her hand to hold back the elastic strap of Jack's boxer briefs. "What are you doing?"

"Just in case we have to make a sudden run for it," Kate tucked the envelope of money between the elastic strap and Jack's bare skin. "Thank god you wear boxer briefs otherwise we would have to get creative,"

"Why don't we take the bag?"

Kate looked behind her, "Because…"

The high beams flashed on temporarily distracting them both. Kate shielded her eyes with her hands and the gun dropped down to the floor.

"Shit!" Frantically Kate dived down onto the floor and started to search around for the gun, the high beams impaired her vision. She squinted as her eyes focused on the gun which was now suddenly in Jack's hand. Kate reached for it, but it was too late.

Outside the engine revved even louder than the first two times. The car groaned in protest, but the foot on the pedal wouldn't allow the car to relax. A door was thrust open and then a silhouette broke into a run. An explosion sounded ten seconds afterwards. The window shattered and shards of glass sprinkled down like rain onto the carpet. The curtains billowed violently and then fell to the ground in a heap.

Kate and Jack were slammed against the wall as lamps crashed to the floor. Protectively Jack tried to cover Kate. He heard her scream but he held onto her tightly. It appeared that an explosion had just gone off. As Jack tried to gather his thoughts the sudden shuffling of footsteps and more breaking glass started to ring in his ears. The gun. He didn't have any time to thing. Fight or Flight. Fight or Flight. There was no where to run because the door was blocked. He felt the gun being pried from his hands. Kate was surprisingly strong. Jack blinked and then he realized what was going on.

Someone was in the room with them.

A fire burned behind the shadows in the night, remnants of what appeared to be Jack and Kate's only transportation. Jack's mouth dropped open as he watched the hulking figures approach. There were three of them with guns drawn. They looked around the room with swift motions, a gun in each one of their hands.

Shots were fired.

Screams of agony filled Jack's ears and a chill ran through his body. The gunshots were coming from underneath him. Kate was firing at the shadows.

They fired back but their guns were aimed at the walls creating a million bullet holes through the cheap wallpaper embroidered with flowers and white lines.

One by one they fell.

Kate pushed Jack off of her. He fell backwards and crashed into the wall.

"Are you okay!" She screamed as she looked around swiftly and then stood up.

"Get down," Jack grabbed Kate's hand and pulled her back onto the ground. "We don't know if there are anymore of them out there." His breathing was labored and fear coursed through his veins, but he knew that he couldn't let his apprehension overcome him because he had to protect Kate.

"If there were anymore they would've rushed in after them…" Kate paused to point at the three dead men on the floor, "Jack we have to go." When he made no signs of moving Kate dived down and then swung his arm around her shoulder. "More of them are probably on the way!"

"I'm fine," He jumped in front of Kate and then started to walk cautiously towards the door. He clenched his jaw as he stepped over the three dead bodies. Jack couldn't bring himself to look down at their faces even though he knew they would've killed him if Kate hadn't killed them first.

"I have the gun," Kate made her way in front of him and then made a quick maneuver towards the window. She dodged down and then held out the gun towards the window as she looked out. Her mouth dropped open in horror at the sight in front of her. "Shit!"

"What?" Jack asked with wide eyes as he joined his fiancé by the window.

"That _explosion_ was our car." Kate cursed underneath her breath at their inability to keep a car. "We have to go, and somewhere along the way form a Plan B,"

Jack nodded trying to take their situation in. He wasn't used to being the one that followed the orders, he was used to being in charge, but their current situation had caught him completely off guard even though he knew they were in constant danger. "They have to have a car,"

"Are you kidding me! Drive in their car?" Kate cried. "If you think we have a bullseye on our back now then wait until we take their car. We're wasting time we have to get out of here Jack."

Swallowing down the last of his fears Jack dropped down to one of the intruders and searched around for a gun. He finally found one a couple of seconds later still clasped inside a bloody hand. Jack felt his stomach heave but he withheld the vile rising in his throat. Kate was pulling him up again and the world started to spin around him in a blur as they started to run.


End file.
